


Dinîf en qualen

by Morgana_avalon



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 12:15:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 141,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18410450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_avalon/pseuds/Morgana_avalon
Summary: Erestor and Glorfindel are send to Lothlorien to assist Celeborn now Galadriel is sailing for Valinor. On their way to 'Lorien they are surprised by a violent storm in which Glorfindel is injured. It is now up to Erestor to take them into safety and Glorfindel sees beneath the face of neutrality Erestor usually wears.





	1. Chapter 1

Part 1

 

The sky was growing dark and Erestor buried himself deeper in the warm comfort of his velvet cloak, pulling the hood over his head as first raindrops descended onto their heads. “I told you we should have stayed another day at Caras Galadhon, enjoying Celeborn’s hospitality, but you had to leave today.” His tone was calm as always, but a hint of irritation still showed.

 

Glorfindel studied the threatening clouds, which seemed to devour the sun. Those clouds made him feel apprehensive; heavier rain would fall shortly. The wind was also gaining in strength and ruffled his golden hair. He hated to admit it, but Erestor was right; they should have stayed at Lothlorien another day. But he couldn’t openly admit to being wrong. Erestor would never let it go and harass him for the next few days, and over the years he had learned to be careful around the raven-haired advisor.

 

Erestor’s sharp tongue was more dangerous than a Morgul blade. He had learned that the hard way, often being ridiculed or chided by the Noldorin Elf. Erestor was intelligent and cunning, but building a friendship with him had been impossible so he usually kept his distance. But now that they were traveling together he had no other choice than to converse with the other Elf.

 

Glorfindel never considered replying, or even worse, admitting he had made a mistake. Who needed enemies with a ‘friend’ like Erestor? Glorfindel shivered as the rain came pouring down on them. The earth beneath their feet was turning into mud, making it hard for their horses to maintain their pace for it was forcing them to slow down.

 

“We should seek shelter before thunder and lightning come crashing down on us,” said Erestor, studying the grey and black clouds. He didn’t expect Glorfindel to reply, knowing the blond detested his company. He even suspected Glorfindel had tried to convince Elrond to send someone else in his place, but the Ruler of Imladris had not given in, sending the two of them.

 

Erestor sighed softly. He could have done without Glorfindel’s company as well. Now he had to be alert the entire time, and could never let down his guard. “Maybe we will take shelter in a cave, should we encounter one?” Glorfindel still remained silent, and Erestor glanced at the blond. Glorfindel’s lips were a narrow line now and his blue eyes had darkened ominously. Maybe it was time to stop talking.

 

Glorfindel continued to ignore Erestor, but he took the raven-haired Elf’s advice and searched for shelter. They couldn’t stay out in the open much longer. A thunderstorm echoed in the distance, but would probably reach them in just a few minutes. The rain whipped down onto them, soaking their cloaks, and the horses grew restless as well.

 

Erestor glared at the blond, but Glorfindel was busy searching his surroundings. He was tempted to repeat his earlier comments, but bit his bottom lip instead. If the storm really broke loose then they might need each other, and he didn’t want to alienate Glorfindel any farther.

 

“We will look for shelter,” said Glorfindel eventually, just waiting for Erestor to gloat and make a condescending remark, but the advisor remained silent. Surprised, almost expecting a trap, Glorfindel looked at his traveling companion. Erestor looked extremely uncomfortable; water dripped down the hood and slid down the black tresses, dripping onto his velvet cloak again. And although he was soaking wet as well, he realized it was worse for Erestor, who usually sat in a warm study.

 

“Finally,” groaned Erestor, cringing when thunder erupted over their heads. “Now all we have to do is find a cave or cabin.” And what were the odds of them finding one of those?

 

A strong gust of wind nearly knocked Erestor off his horse, and he held on tightly to the saddle. “We need to get out of this storm!” The wind roared and the thunder exploded, and Erestor was forced to raise his voice and scream. “It will sweep us away!”

 

Glorfindel nodded sharply. There was no use in denying the truth. “Just hold on tightly.”

 

Darkness descended onto them, smothering the last ray of sunlight that tried to pierce the black blanket which had now settled between the Elves and the sun. Glorfindel held onto his cloak when the gale almost blew it from his shoulders.

 

“Any shelter in sight?” enquired Erestor in an urgent tone. The pouring rain hit his face hard and he quickly lowered his head, hiding within his hood. He would never admit it to Glorfindel, but he was growing scared. In his long life he had witnessed a number of storms, but none had grown as quickly as this one and it was still gaining in strength!

 

“Nothing yet,” replied Glorfindel, annoyed that he couldn’t find any shelter. But what worried even more was the swaying of the branches above their heads. He prayed to Elbereth that the lightning wouldn’t strike into one of those trees. If it did, they might be crushed beneath the massive branches.

 

Erestor now looked up as well. The trees, strongly rooted in the earth, swayed dangerously, and one branch after another was torn off the trunk. Holding his breath, he stared at the unfolding mayhem around them. They were in a life-threatening situation! If only Glorfindel would admit that and act accordingly!

 

A strong wind pushed back his hood, revealing his stricken face at the exact moment when Glorfindel looked at him. Embarrassed, he averted his eyes. He didn’t want Glorfindel to know he was scared!

 

Glorfindel was tempted to make a remark about the fear in Erestor’s eyes, but didn’t get the chance. A loud and frightening roar swelled behind them, and looking behind Erestor, he froze.

 

Erestor, seeing the shocked stare in Glorfindel’s eyes, looked over his shoulder. He had heard the ominous noise as well and his eyes widened, realizing a flood was heading toward them. Somewhere a dam must have broken, releasing large amounts of water. The wind only added to its power, whipping the flood on.

 

“We are in its direct path!” realized Glorfindel, worried. The horses had seen the threat as well and reared, afraid. Glorfindel frantically looked up, searching for an escape route. “There is nowhere we can go!” They were trapped and the water was closing in on them.

 

A flash of lightning lit up the sky and hit an overhanging cliff. Large rocks were shaken loose and began to fall. Glorfindel, realizing the great danger they were in, grabbed Erestor’s reins and pushed his heels into Asfaloth’s sides, urging him on.

 

Erestor held on to his saddle for dear life, letting Glorfindel take control of the situation. Behind them, huge rocks tumbled down the cliff, and dropped heavily into the water. They had just escaped one danger when another caught up with them. Cold snuck up on him from behind and he didn’t have to look over his shoulder to know that the flood had reached them. “Glor…”

 

The water thrashed onto him, drowning his words and pulling him from his horse. For the briefest of moments he managed to make eye contact with Glorfindel, just before the water completely covered him. Struggling against the powerful mass of water, he reached the surface again and saw how Glorfindel was pulled from his horse as well. No matter what happened next, he had to make sure he stayed close to the blond. Only together could they survive.

 

Glorfindel swallowed some of the bitter water and he spat out the rest. The powerful wave of water seemed to play with him, tossing him from one side to the other. His eyes searched for Erestor, recalling that the dark-haired Elf had gone down first. Seeing a patch of dark in the water, he assumed it was Erestor and tried to move towards him.

 

Erestor saw Glorfindel move toward him, but he also saw the rock that doomed out of the water behind the blond. Glorfindel, however, whose back was turned toward the rock, didn’t see it, and Erestor yelled a warning.

 

Glorfindel never heard that warning as another wave rolled over him. It flung him against the rock and a stabbing pain swept through his legs, rendering him unconscious in seconds. Never realizing what had happened, Glorfindel was pulled beneath the surface, releasing his last breath.

 

Erestor’s heart missed several beats, seeing Glorfindel being pulled under, and quickly dived after him. The power of the water tried to throw him off course, but he persevered and managed to grab Glorfindel’s cloak. But the blond’s dead weight pulled him along and he was no match against the swirling water. The fabric of the Elda’s cloak slipped from his fingers and frustrated, he flung himself forward, trying to find the blond again.

 

Suddenly something sharp pushed against his stomach, broke the skin and… Erestor, caught by surprise, raised his arms, trying to remain at the surface. A sharp object had pierced the skin of his abdomen and was now forcing itself a way inside. His eyes had widened, but his scream was silenced by the roaring flood.

 

Instinctively he placed a hand over the injured area and his fingertips quickly identified the object piercing his stomach; it was a branch. Agony spread from his abdomen through the rest of his body, waves of pain that nearly robbed him of his consciousness.

 

Glorfindel? Where was the blond? Was he injured as well? He needed to find Glorfindel as quickly as possible. The burgundy of Glorfindel’s cloak showed through the water, and, whilst biting down his anguish, he dived into the flood again, this time grabbing hold of Glorfindel’s tunic. Now that he had the blond, he wasn’t going to let go again, and he folded one arm around him.

 

Using his last bit of strength, he struggled toward the rocks. He had no idea how he managed to push Glorfindel onto the slippery rocks, but he did. Panting hard, he wrestled himself free of the water and collapsed onto the rock as well, next to Glorfindel.

 

Worried that the other wasn’t reacting, Erestor gently rolled Glorfindel onto his back. A load moan full of agony left the Elda’s lips, and when Erestor studied Glorfindel’s form, he felt shocked at seeing the way the blond’s legs were twisted. Were they broken? Both of them?

 

Erestor groaned and pushed his hand tighter against his abdomen, realizing he couldn't count on Glorfindel to take them into safety. The Elda was unconscious and couldn’t even walk. It was now up to him to keep them alive. He doubted that he was up to that challenge when he doubled over due to the stinging pain in his stomach.

 

“Glorfindel?” Kneeling next to the blond, he shook Glorfindel’s shoulder. “Wake up!” He couldn’t possibly carry the Elda into safety! His stomach injury wouldn’t allow that! “Glorfindel!”

 

Erestor’s urgent tone finally registered with the trained warrior and Glorfindel fought himself back to awareness, but then a terrible pain attacked him. Agony ripped through his legs, pooling in his knees.

 

“Glorfindel!”

 

Realizing Erestor was kneeling next to him, he managed to make eye contact. The Noldorin Elf looked wretched, but coherent. “Eres… stor… I…” He never managed to finish his sentence as agony overwhelmed him, pushing him back into darkness.

 

“No, you cannot faint! I need your guidance! I am no warrior!” He was a scholar; how could he possibly take care of them? Especially when he was wounded as well? Throwing back his head, he glared angrily at the dark skies, which continued to release impossible amounts of rain. “Why? Why me? Why now?” Despair enveloped him momentarily, but he shook it off, refusing to give in to the dark feeling. No, he was stronger than that. He could manage. He would take Glorfindel into safety and take care of him. Never before had he given up and he wasn’t going to start now! With grim determination he hooked his hands behind Glorfindel’s back and hauled the blond onto his knees, then draped him over his shoulder. Getting to his feet was one of the hardest tasks he had ever faced, but his inner strength pulled him through.

 

Erestor searched his surroundings with his eyes, trying to find a cave or tree that would provide them with some shelter. His abdominal pain was increasing, making it nearly impossible for him to lift his feet. Glorfindel’s weight was also putting pressure on his stomach and he lost his footing in the mud.

 

Tightening his hold on Glorfindel, he took the impact on himself and nearly fainted from the pain consuming him. “I refuse to give up now.” Erestor pushed himself to his feet and spotted something dark to his right. Was it a cave? Could he be that lucky?

 

He concentrated on placing one foot in front of the other and slowly covered the distance to the cave. Just when he had reached it, the rain stopped. Erestor glared at the clouds, which were now traveling west, and entered the cave, eager to lay down his charge.

 

At the back of the cave, he slowly placed Glorfindel on the cold earth. Their clothes were still soaking wet and Erestor wished he had never left Imladris, staying warm instead. But wishful thinking wouldn’t get him anywhere. Probing Glorfindel’s leg, he froze when the blond released a keening wail whilst examining his knees.

 

“Broken.” He studied the blond. “What do I do now? I cannot carry you all the way back to Imladris.” But Glorfindel depended on him to get him back to the Last Homely House.

 

His head bowed, and hand pressed against his injury, he considered his options. Carrying Glorfindel was out of the question. Maybe he should try to find the horses? Then he could build a litter and have the horse pull it whilst he rode it? That might work. Now that he had some sort of plan he felt better, stronger. He always needed a goal to work toward. It had saved his sanity in the past and it would now help him survive again.

 

“Find the horses, build a litter and take Glorfindel back to Imladris.” Imladris, he registered bitterly, and never home. But it was not the time to dwell on this now and he sat back, leaning against the rocky wall. He carefully probed his wound. His features contorted, discovering a hooked branch had nestled in his abdomen. Was it safe to remove it? Or should he leave it there?

 

“I cannot leave it in there.” There was dirt and grass clinging to it. If he left it there it would only cause more infections. Wrapping his fingers tightly around the branch, he swallowed hard, steadying himself. He had survived worse pain; he could do this! Gritting his teeth, he removed the branch, flinging the bloodied wood into the far corner of the cave. Blood gushed from the wound and he used some strips of his cloak to bind it, hoping the bleeding would stop in time.

 

If not… He could only hope Glorfindel wouldn’t notice the red stain that was already forming on his shirt. The last thing he wanted was for the Elda to point out to him how stupid he had been to get injured. His father had been like that, always… No, he didn’t want to think about this now and should focus on Glorfindel instead.

 

Frustrated that every inch of his cloak was still soaked, he wrung it, trying to remove as much water as possible before shredding it into strips. He used those to bandage Glorfindel’s legs and especially his knees, hoping the support would lessen the agony the blond would be in upon waking.

 

Once he had finished, he rested his back against the wall again. He longed to lie down, but didn’t dare to actually do it, afraid he might not get to his feet again later. Distressed, he stared at Glorfindel, relieved the Elda wasn’t awake whilst he was experiencing a panic attack. His breathing quickened, his eyes widened and he clawed the fabric of his shirt whilst his other hand continued to press against his wound.

 

“Find the horses, build a litter and take him back to Imladris,” he repeated, making it his mantra. After long moments he finally calmed down again. “I can do this. I have been in worse situations. I can do this.”

 

Looking at the entrance of the cave, he found that the rain had started again, but it no longer resembled the storm they had been caught in. He would catch his breath and then venture out again, hoping at least one the horses had remained close. And he also had to build that litter! He needed to gather branches for that, and some strong grass to bind the branches together.

 

Erestor pushed himself to his feet. He shouldn’t postpone building the litter, for he was afraid his wound might grow infected after all. When he had removed the branch, he had seen that dirt still clung to the wound.

 

He placed his hand against the wall, using it to guide and support him whilst he walked toward the entrance. Relieved, he noticed that it was no longer raining and he stepped outside.

 

The valley was a complete mess. Trees had been ripped up by their roots and had been spread throughout the valley. Rocks, which had tumbled from the cliff, lay haphazardly in the torrent’s path. He could hardly believe that a violent flood had turned this lovely rivulet into a murderous deluge. It had almost taken their lives. Nature would always be unpredictable.

 

He looked east, to where Imladris lay, and reckoned it would take them two or three days to reach Elrond’s realm where the healer could tend to their injuries.

 

“You are wasting precious time, standing here,” Erestor chided himself. After fighting down another wave of nauseating pain, he whistled softly, hoping his mare would hear him and follow the sound which would lead her here. “Amdir, hear me, and come to me.” If the mare heard him, she would answer his call. Throughout his entire life he had placed more faith in animals than his fellow Elves. Animals never judged him, never withheld their love and affection, and he could return that friendship. Amdir was precious to him and he hoped she had survived as well.

 

Realizing that it would take Amdir time to get here – and that was if she had heard him — he set out to gather branches that were strong enough to support Glorfindel. As expected, most of the wood was wet, and he carried it back to the cave.

 

He sat down awkwardly, ignoring his pain, and looked at Glorfindel. Over long years the Elda had gained his respect, though he would never admit it aloud. Glorfindel was loyal and seldom avoided his company, which was far from pleasant at times. He knew Glorfindel disliked his sharp tone and remarks that could be haughty at times, but he couldn’t change a habit that had helped him survive.

 

“I never was a good friend -- not even a friend,” said Erestor softly, “But I vow to take you back to Imladris. I won’t let you die here. Glorfindel, the Balrog slayer, does not deserve like this.” New determination was born, hearing his promise aloud. “I will look after you.”

 

Glorfindel moaned softly. Something was disturbing his peaceful sleep and pain was pulling him toward consciousness again. As he slowly became aware of his surroundings, the pain became very real as well. Whimpering, he tried to establish what had happened, and then he remembered the flood.

 

“Easy, Glorfindel, easy. Your legs are broken, and you need to preserve your strength for later."

Erestor’s voice took him off guard and his wide eyes focused on the raven-haired Elf, who looked like a drowned cat. “Bro… ken?” he stuttered in shock. Seeing Erestor nod, he tried to recall more. The flood must have dragged him along, throwing him against the rocks like a rag doll. How had he gotten into this cave then? “Erestor?” Frowning, he made eye contact with the other Elf, and was surprised when Erestor averted his eyes. “You went in after me?”

 

Erestor felt distinctly uncomfortable, but managed to hide it when looking at Glorfindel. “I did not have a choice. I cannot possibly return to Imladris without you. Elrond would never forgive me.”

 

The words were like a cold shower to Glorfindel. He had been a fool to believe Erestor cared about his well-being! Erestor was as cold as ice and would never express any warm feelings of concern and compassion. He forced himself to concentrate on their situation, refusing to linger on his feelings. “Do we still have the horses?”

 

Erestor shook his head. “We lost them in the flood.” His stomach painfully contracted around the wound and he bit his lip, trying to not scream out his pain. Glorfindel was glaring at him and he hung onto his composure, unwilling to let his agony show. “But maybe Amdir will return. I called out to her.”

 

Now that was another thing that puzzled Glorfindel. When Elrond had given Erestor that white mare, the gloomy adviser had called her "Hope". He still wondered about that name. Pulling himself away from his musings, he tried to shift slightly, but pain shot up his leg, making him whimper in agony.

 

“Move as little as possible. I bound it tightly, but the broken bones need time to heal.” Erestor, concerned at hearing Glorfindel’s strangled whimper, leaned in closer and searched the blue eyes. “I am gathering wood to build a litter.”

 

Glorfindel was stunned to see concern in Erestor’s dark eyes. It was the first hint of emotion he had ever seen in those brooding orbs. But he shook it off; it was probably just his imagination. “What use is a litter when we do not have a horse to pull it?” He realized he had said the wrong thing when Erestor’s gaze darkened.

 

“I am doing the best I can!” said Erestor in a painfully clipped tone. His wound was throbbing, sending violent vibrations through his body, but he concealed them, unwilling to show any weakness right now. “Why do you not rest whilst I take care of matters?” He cringed privately. That sounded much harsher than he had intended.

 

Glorfindel glared at Erestor. How many times had he hoped the raven-haired Elf would let go of his harsh attitude? Why couldn’t Erestor reach out just once? They needed to support each other! “Fine, I will rest!” He immediately regretted playing along. This was probably just what Erestor wanted! Why did he always allow Erestor to provoke him like that? He frowned slightly, seeing the amount of time it took Erestor to get back to his feet. Deep lines showed on the Noldorin Elf’s face and he had never seen them there before. But then he dismissed his concern. Erestor’s clothes were still wet and probably making it hard to move around.

 

Erestor walked over to the pile of wood he had gathered, sat down and used the dry branches to build a small fire. Then he began to separate the branches he could use and the ones that were worthless. He felt Glorfindel staring at him, but refused to acknowledge that.

 

Glorfindel, now staring at Erestor’s back, frowned. Something seemed wrong with the other Elf, but he couldn’t label the feeling. The fact that pain spiraled up his legs wasn’t making coherent thought any easier either. But he didn’t want to let this dark feeling grow between them. “You were right.”

 

Hearing Glorfindel’s voice, Erestor looked over his shoulder. “About what?” He felt somewhat suspicious; Glorfindel had never admitted he had been right about anything. Why start now?

 

“We should have stayed another day at Caras Galadhon.” Glorfindel carefully watched Erestor, wondering what was eluding him.

 

Erestor cleared his throat. Glorfindel had actually managed to surprise him. He was tempted to say ‘I told you so’, but he didn’t. “You could not have known about that storm. This was not your fault.” It was a strange thing, but he was actually getting used to the pain.

 

Glorfindel was baffled at hearing Erestor’s mellow answer; he had expected a sneer. Then the pain ripped through him again, making him groan in agony. As he was still looking Erestor in the eyes, he saw another wave of concern course through the dark orbs. /It is amazing, he is actually worried about me!/ 

 

Erestor dragged himself to his feet, relieved to feel his wound go numb. Leaning against the wall, he said, “Rest now. Once our journey starts you will need your strength.”

 

Knowing Erestor was right, Glorfindel nodded. He wasn’t looking forward to the painful experience of being dragged to Imladris on a litter. “Erestor?” Seeing the familiar, distant expression in the other’s eyes once more, he swallowed hard, wondering if he had just imagined the concern in them. “Thank you for coming after me.” Privately, he admitted, /I never thought you would./

 

Erestor was growing increasingly worried; the bleeding still hadn’t stopped and warm blood was seeping through his fingers. “We are safe here for the moment. Rest.”

 

Unable to stay awake much longer, Glorfindel gave into the pain and returned to the soothing darkness that had cradled him earlier.

 

Erestor barely managed to stay on his feet and leaned heavily against the wall. “Elbereth, what am I supposed to do?” He had fought off despair for so long, but now that everything seemed utterly hopeless he hung his head in defeat.

 

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 2

 

 

Unexpectedly, the sound of hooves and a joyous whinny echoed through the air. Erestor’s head snapped up, and looking to his right appeared the most welcome scene he had ever seen; Amdir. The white mare was galloping toward him, and a moment later a warm noose was pressed against his shoulder, nudging him. “Be careful, my friend.” Although the pain had numbed, the blood continued to seep through his fingers.

 

Amdir had her head up, ears forward, somehow sensing that the Elf was in pain.

 

Erestor reached for the bag, which he had attached to his saddle when they had left Lothlorien, thankful that it was still there. Opening the bag, he checked its content. There were two wafers of lembas, water, a knife and a handful of dried herbs which he sometimes used when he couldn’t sleep. He kept the knife and placed the other items back in the bag.

 

“Amdir… stay here. I will need you later.” The horse snorted, showing she had understood.

 

Erestor returned to the cave, and, using his knife, he cut the branches to their desired length. He had selected long, narrow leaves to bind the branches with and during the next hour he was busy constructing the litter. When he was ready he tested its strength, and hoped it would hold Glorfindel throughout their long journey back to Imladris.

 

Wanting to rise to his feet, he found that the pain had returned. For the last hour he had been unable to press tightly against the wound, and his tunic was now drenched with blood. Pulling his cloak tighter, he walked over to Glorfindel. “You have to wake up.”

 

Glorfindel stirred at the sound of Erestor’s voice and locked eyes with the dark-haired Elf, who looked utterly exhausted. He felt slightly guilty for being unable to help, knowing Erestor had to feel lost, even if the other didn’t admit it. His eyes drifted through the cave and came to rest on the litter. It looked fragile and he was tempted to laugh at Erestor’s effort, but bit down his laughter. Erestor had constructed this litter for him and he should be thankful that the other Elf was trying to get them back to Imladris.

 

Erestor correctly interpret Glorfindel’s look. “It does not look like much, but it is stronger than you think… It will hold.” He had expected taunting laughter, but the blond remained quiet. “And Amdir returned.”

 

Glorfindel smiled, bemused. Hope seemed an appropriate name for the mare after all. “We should… not waste… any time.” Glorfindel tried to push himself to his feet, but collapsed in pain. Erestor would have to carry him to the litter. Glorfindel hated being helpless.

 

Erestor knew Glorfindel would never ask for help so he walked over to the blond, gritted his teeth, and hauled the Elda onto his shoulder.

 

Glorfindel’s eyes widened in shock as a horrible pain sliced through his legs. It overwhelmed him and he fainted, and was now a limp weight draped over Erestor’s shoulder.

 

Erestor felt Glorfindel go limp and quickly carried him to the litter, gently laying him down. Once the weight was off his shoulder, he pressed his hand against his abdomen in a vague attempt to lessen the bleeding. How much blood had he already lost? How much more could he afford to lose?

 

“Amdir?” Calling the mare, he waited for her to step into the cave. Using his last strength, he raised the litter and attached it to the two long branches that made up the horse’s harness. After securing it with his belt across her chest, he led Amdir out of the cave. He had planned to ride the horse, but now realized there was no way he would make it onto her back. Even if he did, he would never get down again. He was doomed to walk back to Imladris.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Glorfindel woke next, the sun blinded him and he had to shield his eyes. The motion of the litter sent waves of pain through his legs, but he refused to show the agony he was in. Cocking his head, he caught sight of Erestor walking next to the litter, eyes fixed on the ground. Occasionally the dark haired Elf stumbled and groaned pitifully. Annoyed, Glorfindel frowned. Erestor thought walking was tiresome? He should try having two broken legs instead! Then he would be entitled to groan!

 

“Would you like some water?”

 

Erestor’s soft voice made him feel guilty for his previous thoughts; maybe he was being too hard on Erestor. “Do you… have some?”

 

“Aye.” Erestor opened the bag again and removed the water flask. After handing it to Glorfindel, he returned to staring at the ground. Every step he took caused more agony in his abdomen, but he couldn’t stop walking now. If he did, he would never be able to start again.

 

“Why don’t you… ride the horse?” suggested Glorfindel, sipping his water.

 

“I prefer to walk,” whispered Erestor darkly.

 

Glorfindel raised an eyebrow, recognizing that tone; Erestor wasn’t interested in carrying on a conversation. It was growing dark; they would have to stop shortly and seek shelter. “Maybe they will realize… we are late… and send a search party.”

 

“We are not expected back for another two days.” Erestor secretly exchanged one corner of his tunic for the other, pressing dry cloth against the wound. He was growing increasingly light-headed and worried how much longer he would remain conscious.

 

“We should stop for the night,” said Glorfindel, puzzled by Erestor’s behavior. The Noldorin Elf was extremely quiet, ignored him and was constantly staring at the ground. Recalling his former worries, he tried to figure out what was wrong with Erestor, but failed.

 

“We won’t stop... We cannot afford to rest.” Erestor rested one hand on Amdir’s back, slightly leaning against the warm body. “If we keep up this pace, we will reach Imladris the day after tomorrow.”

 

“Do we have enough food… and water?” Erestor’s determination surprised him. He had expected Erestor to panic, not to assume control like this.

 

“I will ration the little we have.” Erestor wished Glorfindel would stop ask questions. It was taking all of his concentration to continue walking.

 

Glorfindel’s unease was still growing. Something about Erestor’s behavior set off his alarms and he wished he had the courage to bring it up. But Erestor would probably laugh at his worry. It was best to remain quiet.

 

Arien set and Ithil rose, illuminating the dark sky. Glorfindel dozed off eventually, trusting Erestor to watch out for them.

 

Once he was sure Glorfindel was asleep, Erestor told Amdir to stop and he heavily leaned against the mare. “I cannot… do… this any more.” The bleeding had finally stopped, but he felt like he didn’t have a single drop of blood left in his body. Fatigue nearly overwhelmed him and recognizing the danger, he started walking again. If he lay down to rest now he might never wake up again.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

During the night he swayed several times and Amdir stopped each time, letting the Elf catch up with him. Endless hours passed by until the sun finally rose again. Erestor stared bleary eyed at Arien’s rays, no longer able of coherent thought. He depended on Amdir to guide him; the horse knew their destination. He paid no attention to Glorfindel, who was waking up again.

 

Glorfindel felt disorientated. At first he wondered why he was lying on a litter, but then his memories quickly returned. Looking to his right, he saw that Erestor was still at his side. Amdir was walking faster than Erestor, who was falling back and Glorfindel got his first chance to extensively study the raven-haired Elf.

 

Long, black tresses framed a deathly pale face, and his large eyes seemed dull and lifeless. Erestor’s expression was distant, and he was panting softly, as if in pain. Glorfindel, suddenly alarmed, propped himself up on his elbows. “Erestor…?” When the Elf didn’t react, Glorfindel grew truly worried. “Erestor?” 

 

Erestor finally heard his name and raised his head. Glorfindel looked upset, but he had no idea what troubled the blond. “We are… making good time. Hopefully we will reach… Imladris… in the morning.”

 

“Erestor, you look dreadful.” Glorfindel studied Erestor, vexed that he couldn’t figure out what was wrong.

 

“Well, thank you… You surely are back to your charming self,” sneered Erestor absentmindedly. Reacting like that had become second nature.

 

For the first time since knowing Erestor, Glorfindel refused to be emotionally pushed away. “I am serious... You look exhausted.”

 

Erestor sighed dejectedly. “I am fine… Do not… worry about me.” No one ever worried about him; why should Glorfindel be any different? “I will manage.”

 

Glorfindel shook his head at Erestor’s stubbornness. “Why do you always have to fight me? Why not give in to reason and rest?”

 

Erestor ignored Glorfindel’s questions. “Would you like to eat… and drink something? We should manage… with the water and lembas that we have left.”

 

Frustrated, Glorfindel glared at Erestor, but he couldn’t deny being hungry and thirsty. “Only if you do the same.” Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen Erestor eat or drink since the flood.

 

Erestor nodded slowly and opened the bag again, taking out a wafer of lembas and their drinking water. He handed the lembas to Glorfindel.

 

Glorfindel’s eyes grew big; Erestor’s hand was covered in blood! “What?” Alarmed, he grabbed Erestor’s wrist and examined the limb, searching for an injury that would explain the blood, but he didn’t find a thing. “Where does the blood come from?”

 

Erestor realized his mistake and stared numbly at Glorfindel. “The wound has… already healed. As I said earlier… do not trouble yourself.” He wasn’t sure what to make of the expression in Glorfindel’s eyes, but he refused to reveal his weakness. “I suggest you eat.” He pulled back his wrist, but flinched, as the motion vibrated through his body, causing another wave of pain in his stomach.

 

“Erestor, tell me what happened!” Glorfindel tried to push himself to his feet, but had to abandon the effort. He lacked the strength and his legs wouldn’t support him anyway.

 

“I cut my arm… when I dived in after you. It bled,” he lied in an emotionless tone. “Then the wound… closed.”

 

Glorfindel shook his head. “I do not believe you.” Erestor’s pallor indicated the Elf had lost a considerable amount of blood. But Erestor pretended to have not heard him and led Amdir down the path. “Erestor… I am trying to help you!”

 

“I do not need your help,” said Erestor calmly. “I can take care of myself. I always did.”

 

Glorfindel wondered why Erestor added that last part, but let it go, knowing he wouldn’t elaborate. “Erestor, I am worried.” Studying Erestor’s slow and stiff movements, he realized the Elf was hiding a serious injury. “I can help.”

 

Erestor remained silent, marching determinedly. Glorfindel’s tone was pleading, but he refused to listen.

 

Glorfindel didn’t know how to reach Erestor. He tried to grab Erestor’s robes, but the Elf was out of reach. /Why did he remain silent? Why did he not tell me he was wounded as well? I know I am practically useless with two broken legs, but I… What? Could have comforted him? Would I have offered him any sympathy? Does he even want it?/

 

Erestor sagged against Amdir, folding one arm around the mare’s neck. He hated admitting it, but he needed to rest.

 

“You know I am right, Erestor. Tell Amdir to stop and let me examine your wound.” Erestor had taken care of him, had bandaged his legs, and he wanted to do the same for the dark-haired Elf, if Erestor let him. Erestor halted, and he was finally able to take hold of the other’s wrist. He was holding the in blood covered hand in his and waited for Erestor to look at him.

 

Erestor resignedly met Glorfindel’s eyes. Why was the blond pretending to care? He knew only too well that Glorfindel disliked him.

 

Glorfindel pointed out an overhanging cliff to Erestor. “We can spend the night there… We should not be traveling at night when we cannot defend ourselves.”

 

“You are… the experienced… warrior, so I will… follow your advice.”

 

Erestor’s tone made Glorfindel cringe. “I did not mean it like that. I am just concerned about our safety.”

 

Listlessly, Erestor guided Amdir to the location Glorfindel had pointed out to him and slowly went down on his knees, realizing he couldn’t hide his weakness any longer. Hanging his head, he tried to not inhale too deeply for it would only wake the pain that lay dormant in his body.

 

Glorfindel shifted on the litter, but the agony coursing through his legs told him to stay put. “Erestor, come over here. I need to check your wound.” He wasn’t prepared for the expression in those dark eyes when the Noldorin Elf looked at him. How had Erestor managed to hide his pain for so long? It stared back at him from the depths of the other’s dark eyes. “Please?”

 

Erestor considered dismissing Glorfindel, but knew the blond well enough to know that the Elda would continue to nag. Slowly, on all fours, he crawled over to Glorfindel, and came to a stop next to the litter.

 

“Show me your injury.” Glorfindel raised his hands to probe whatever wound Erestor was hiding, but they dropped back, seeing the bloodstained tunic when the injured Elf finally lifted his cloak. “By Elbereth… you have lost so much blood! How did you manage thus far?” And all this time Erestor had walked next to him, never letting him see his pain!

 

Reaching for the tunic, he unbuttoned it and pushed it aside. Blood still dripped from the gaping wound, which had turned black. Infections were raging inside the damaged flesh, which had weakened Erestor even farther. “Why did you not tell me?”

 

“There was… nothing you could do.” Erestor involuntarily pulled away from Glorfindel’s touch when the blond’ fingers tried to probe the wound. “Do not touch me.” He quickly covered himself up and pulled the cloak closer to his frame.

 

“Erestor…” Glorfindel’s voice trailed off. Erestor’s expression was indifferent, but he thought he saw a lot of hurt hiding beneath it. /Who hurt you so badly that you keep everyone at a distance?/ For the first time in centuries he wondered if Erestor wasn’t constantly pretending to be someone he was not. But why would the Elf do such a thing?

 

“We will leave… at the first rays of dawn,” decided Erestor, slowly sitting down on the ground.

 

Glorfindel nodded in understanding. “Amdir is very loyal to you.” He was determined to engage Erestor in some sort of conversation, worried that the Elf had lost so much blood that he could lose consciousness during the night. He wanted to make sure Erestor remained awake and coherent.

 

“Aye, she is,” sighed Erestor, fatigued. Now that he was sitting down he was beginning to feel sleepy.

 

“Why did you name her hope? I always wondered about that.” Glorfindel saw the changing expression in Erestor’s eyes and knew he had asked something too personal. Erestor wouldn’t answer him. “Fine, remain quiet then.”

 

Erestor closed his eyes momentarily. “I named her hope because…” His voice faded, searching for the right words and still uncertain if he wanted to confide in Glorfindel, which would be a first. “I need to hope… there is still some good left in Arda.”

 

Glorfindel’s expression saddened, hearing the lost faith in Erestor’s tone. Treading carefully, he said, “Did you encounter much evil then in your life?” He carefully observed Erestor, seeing shivers course through his body. /You did./

 

“Evil?” Erestor shrugged carefully. “I suppose… I did.”

 

“Will you tell me?” Glorfindel involuntarily held his breath, waiting for Erestor to make up his mind.

 

“I do not think… it will interest you.” He felt like he had already given away too much. Maybe he shouldn’t have named the horse Amdir, but no one had ever asked why he had chosen that name, until now. “Do you really want to stay here… until morning? If we get moving now… we will reach Imladris earlier.”

 

After studying Erestor, Glorfindel nodded once. “You cannot walk much farther. Maybe you will feel stronger after you slept.”

 

“I cannot… sleep,” said Erestor in a neutral tone. “Someone must stand guard… and you cannot defend yourself.”

 

“And you can?” Glorfindel raised an eyebrow at seeing Erestor uncover a knife. His hand went to his side to hand Erestor his sword, but was startled to find it gone. The flood must have taken it. “That knife is our only weapon?”

 

/I still have my sharp tongue,/ thought Erestor, embittered, but he didn’t speak the words aloud. “I know how to use a knife.”

 

Glorfindel recalled he had never seen Erestor wield a sword and was surprised to hear he could defend himself using a knife. Usually the Noldorin Elf stayed clear of all weapons. “You won’t rest then?” Erestor finally met his stare and the dark expression made him shiver. Erestor possessed a look that could kill and he had been its target more than once. Only now was he beginning to understand it was a defense mechanism. /Why are you hiding? Why keep me at a distance during all these centuries?/

 

“I would prefer for us to move on. We should travel as quickly as possible.” Glorfindel’s questions tired him. He opened the bag, took out the water and lembas and handed Glorfindel the Elf’s share. Looking at Glorfindel he wondered if the blond was in much pain. Hopefully the bandages had steadied the broken bones and took away some of his pain.

 

Pain… Burying himself in his robes, he tried to forget about the pain that was once more sliding through his stomach. “Why are you… looking at me like that?”

 

“I just realized that I do not know you at all.”

 

Glorfindel’s remark froze the blood in his veins and he quickly averted his eyes, pretending he hadn’t heard.

 

The shock on Erestor’s face was easily read and Glorfindel wondered why the other Elf was letting him see his distress in the first place. Normally Erestor would never show any of his feelings. /But he is wounded, physically and mentally drained./

 

An uncomfortable silence settled on them, both trying to figure out the other. Most of the night passed like that, with stolen glances, and muttered questions which were seldom answered. When the morning finally broke, Glorfindel realized it was time to leave their shelter and move on.

 

“Erestor?” He hated having to wake the raven-haired Elf, who had struggled to stay awake during the night and had only fallen asleep an hour ago. “It is time to leave.”

 

Erestor slowly left his dreams to return to bitter reality where pain assaulted him. Glorfindel seemed to speak to him through a tunnel from a great distance. His head lolled, uncontrolled. “Time… to… leave,” stuttered Erestor, trying to push himself to his feet.

 

Glorfindel’s heart went out to the other Elf, who was struggling to get back to his feet. “Let me see your wound first.” He had to know if the bleeding had stopped or not.

 

“That won’t… be necessary.” Erestor clumsily rose to his feet, and smiled when Amdir nudged him softly. “To Imladris… my friend.”

 

Glorfindel watched the scene unfold with growing disbelief. Erestor had actually smiled. Well, at a horse, but he had smiled! He couldn’t remember ever seeing Erestor smile! A lot of emotions were hiding beneath the cool exterior and Glorfindel was determined to find out more about the real Erestor.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Their water was almost gone. There was just enough left for one person and Erestor handed it to Glorfindel, without saying a word about it. He looked away and licked his dry lips, hearing Glorfindel drink.

 

Glorfindel frowned, realizing he had emptied the flask. Why hadn’t Erestor told him that they were running out of water? “You did drink earlier, did you not?” Erestor nodded, but refused to meet his stare, telling Glorfindel all he needed to know. “You did not. Erestor, why did you let me drink our remaining water?”

 

Erestor didn’t have the energy to reply. For the last hour he had moved instinctively, no longer able to stop walking. His sight had diminished and the sounds around him had dampened.

 

Glorfindel, afraid that Erestor had gone into some sort of shock, grabbed the Elf’s hand and saw the fresh blood on it. The wound must have reopened. “Erestor, stop walking!”

 

Erestor shook his head. “No… must take you…back to Imladris.”

 

Glorfindel growled in frustration, wondering how to stop Erestor. “Listen to me. You are exhausting yourself.” Erestor’s empty stare alarmed him. “Erestor? Talk to me!”

 

Glorfindel’s upset tone finally got through to Erestor and he blinked once, slowly returning to reality from whatever state he had been in. The blood loss had finally gotten to him.

 

“Erestor, you have to stop. You cannot go on like this!”

 

Erestor no longer had the energy to talk to Glorfindel and moved mechanically. His eyes stared at the distance, no longer taking in the sky, clouds or trees. In the end, he collapsed onto his knees, his head slumped and he tumbled forward into a limp heap.

 

Glorfindel released a shocked yelp and automatically reached for the unconscious Elf, but found Erestor was out of his reach. “No, Erestor!” Cursing his inability to help the Noldorin Elf, he frantically looked about and then screamed for help.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrohir and Elladan stared at each other, hearing a howl echo through the valley.

 

“Someone needs help,” said Elrohir, looking about. “It came from over there, behind those hills.”

 

Driving their heels into the flanks of their horses, the twins made speed and quickly reached the hills. A growl, full of frustration, showed them the way and they froze, happening upon Glorfindel and Erestor.

 

“By Elbereth,” whispered Elrohir, shocked at finding them in this state.

 

“Quickly, help Erestor!” Glorfindel silently thanked the Valar for sending the twins their way. “He has lost too much blood!”

 

“Blood?” Elladan jumped from his horse and advanced on the fallen counselor.

 

“We got caught up in a storm. He has a stomach wound.” Glorfindel sighed, relieved that Elladan had reached Erestor and was now turning him onto his back.

 

The oldest twin gasped, horrified at the amount of blood that had drenched Erestor’s shirt. But the thing that worried him most was the fact that Erestor’s eyes had closed. “We need to take him to Ada!” Elladan made eye contact with his twin, who had reached Glorfindel. “Now!”

 

“Why do you not take Erestor with you? You can reach Elrond faster without me. The litter will slow you down.” Glorfindel didn’t want to part from Erestor, but knew it was the sensible thing to do. “Elrohir and I will follow.”

 

The twins exchanged another look and Elrohir nodded. “Do it. I will look after Glorfindel.” He had caught a glimpse of Erestor’s wound as well and realized they had little time left.

 

Elladan pushed his hands beneath Erestor’s back and knees, and gently lifted his former mentor in his arms. “How did he manage to injure himself like that?”

 

“It must have happened when the flood surprised us. Something pierced his stomach.” Glorfindel watched anxiously as Elladan placed Erestor in front of him. “Hurry, for I fear we might lose him otherwise.” Elrohir’s hand settled on his arm, making sure he didn’t move about too much. “Now go!”

 

Elladan nodded determinedly, and while holding tightly onto Erestor, he urged his horse into motion. It would take him one hour to reach the Last Homely House. “Hold out a little longer, Erestor. Ada will take care of you. Do not give up now.”

 

Glorfindel’s hands became fists, watching Elladan speed away. /You have better not give up now, Erestor, for I am determined to find out why you have been hiding behind a mask for so many centuries./

 

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 3

 

“Ada! Ada, come quickly!”

 

Elrond looked up from the papers he was working on and rose from behind his desk at hearing Elladan’s distraught voice. His heart contracted in anguish, hoping nothing had happened to Elrohir. Why else would Elladan be this upset?

 

He marched over to the window and mentally prepared himself for whatever dreadful scene would await him. Looking down into the courtyard, he gasped, seeing Erestor sitting in front of Elladan. The long, dirty cloak was open and he immediately noticed the combination of dry and fresh blood on the Elf’s shirt. “Take him to the healing house. I will join you there!” Elrond gathered his robes around him and hurriedly left his study. His brief glance at Erestor, especially at the Elf’s closed eyes, had told Elrond he had to act quickly if he wanted to keep the advisor alive.

 

Elrond reached the healing house first and walked over to Elladan who was still sitting on his horse. “Hand him to me.” He carefully caught Erestor in his arms when his son lowered the injured Elf. “Elladan, follow me. I will need your help.”

 

“But Elrohir…!” Seeing his father’s expression, he climbed out of the saddle and followed Elrond into the healing house. “Elrohir stayed with Glorfindel.”

 

“Why are they not with you?” Elrond was already busy cataloguing Erestor’s injuries, realizing the blood loss was slowly sending him to the Halls of Mandos.

 

“Amdir, Erestor’s horse, wore a harness to drag the litter Glorfindel was lying on,” started Elladan, opening doors so his father could pass.

 

“A litter?” Elrond frowned. He finally reached a bed and slowly laid Erestor down, immediately removing the dirty cloak and bloodied clothes.

 

“His legs lay at an odd angle. I think they are broken.”

 

Elrond sighed, worried. That meant he would have two patients instead of one! “Send a patrol to fetch them, but you are staying!” He had been teaching his sons how to attend to the wounded and needed Elladan to assist him.

 

Elladan left momentarily to instruct the guards and then returned to his father’s side. “How badly injured is he?”

 

“Did Glorfindel tell you what happened?”

 

“He mentioned something about a flood and Erestor getting injured in the process. We only talked for one moment. I wanted Erestor here as quickly as possible.”

 

“You made the right decision.” Elrond had gathered herbs, bandages and water. Using a washcloth, he removed dirt, grass and mud from Erestor’s stomach wound and then probed the injury. Erestor groaned softly, in obvious pain. Elrond’s brow knitted. “He lost a tremendous amount of blood. There is little I can do for him.”

 

Elladan tensed, hearing those words. “Are you saying he will die?” Elves didn’t die! They were supposed to live forever!

 

Elrond’s shoulders sagged. “It is possible. I know of some herbs that will stimulate his blood flow and production, but he is very weak.”

 

Elladan stared at his father in disbelief. “Ada, we cannot lose him!”

 

Elrond, who had taken the selected herbs and now dropped them into the hot water, looked curiously at his son.

 

Thinking about his former mentor, Elladan said, “He was a harsh teacher, but always just. He never mistreated Elrohir and I; was always friendly and respectful, but… He never gave us the same affection we got from Glorfindel and you.” Elladan watched as his father slightly lifted Erestor’s head to help the injured Elf drink the healing tea. “What can I do to help?”

 

“We have to clean him up,” said Elrond, “You can fetch more water and wash him. I will then bandage the wound.” He lowered Erestor back onto the bed and smoothed back the tangled mess of black hair. “We must stay close at all times.”

 

Elladan fetched the water, poured it into a bowl and sat down on the edge of the bed, whilst Elrond removed Erestor’s underwear. “The dirt and grime need to go.”

 

Elladan nodded once. After soaking the washcloth in the tepid water, he began to wash Erestor, starting with the Elf’s feet. It was the strangest thing; he had never seen Erestor wounded, let alone this vulnerable.

 

Elrond placed small pouches, filled with healing herbs, on Erestor’s stomach, hoping they would draw the infection from the Elf’s body. “It worries me that his eyes have closed.”

 

Elladan understood his father’s worry, sharing it. After wringing the dirt from the cloth, he soaked it again in the water, to which Elrond had added herbs that would hopefully sooth the damaged skin.

 

Elrond took up another washcloth and helped Elladan. The silence that settled down on them was comfortable, but still pregnant with worry. “Hopefully Elrohir and Glorfindel will arrive shortly. I will have to leave you alone with Erestor to tend to Glorfindel. Just sit with him, and should he regain consciousness, alert me at once.”

 

“I will.” Elladan pushed back the long, dark tresses to wash Erestor’s neck, when he saw something that made him frown. “Ada? What do you make of this?”

 

Elrond, growing curious at his son’s tone, looked at Erestor’s neck. There were thin, fading scars at the back of the Elf’s neck, and some more close to Erestor’s ears. “It almost looked like…” His voice faded away, placing his hand around the back of Erestor’s neck. “Fingernails.” The tips of his fingers now rested near the scars. “Someone’s fingernails broke the skin there.”

 

Both half-Elves stared at each other in puzzlement. “Why?” asked Elladan eventually.

 

“I do not know,” replied Elrond, whose worry was increasing. “It would explain why he never braids his hair. The plaits would reveal the scars beneath his ears.”

 

Elladan shivered as an ominous feeling swept through him. “I always wondered what made him this distant, so apparently indifferent. Do you think there is something in his past that—“

 

A terrified whimper fled Erestor’s lips, drawing their attention. Elladan finished cleaning up Erestor and then stepped back, awaiting his father’s instructions, who was about to bandage Erestor’s abdomen.

 

“Support him,” said Elrond, reaching for the bandages.

 

Elladan sat down behind the injured Elf and gently pulled Erestor’s back to his chest to steady him whilst Elrond bandaged the damaged area, putting fresh herbs between the skin and bandages.

 

“It will be several weeks before this injury has healed, if he survives.” Elrond gently lowered Erestor onto his back and then pulled up several blankets to keep the injured Elf warm. “I wish there was a way to replace the blood he has lost.” But a blood transfusion was something he had never done before and he wasn’t sure it would even work. “Make sure he drinks at least one cup of the herbal tea each hour. It is the only thing I can do to strengthen him.”

 

“I will make sure he drinks,” said Elladan, equally worried. The scars still puzzled him, and he wondered how Erestor had acquired them. When he had grown up he had felt curious, realizing Erestor was the only Elf in Imladris who didn’t wear his hair braided, but he had never asked why. Erestor had intimidated him when he had been an Elfling and later it had never come up.

 

Elrond rose to his feet and headed toward the doorway, as Elrohir would arrive with the wounded Glorfindel shortly. “Keep a close eye on him, make sure he drinks, and alert me if he gets worse or wakes up.”

 

Elladan nodded, showing he had understood. “I will watch over him.” After Elrond had left, he instinctively took hold of Erestor’s hand, hoping his father was right and that the counselor wouldn’t wake shortly. Erestor would immediately pull back when realizing the twin was cradling his hand. His former mentor had never instigated any physical contact in the past; when he had needed a hug he went to his father or Glorfindel, but never Erestor. “I do not want to lose you, Erestor,” admitted Elladan in a soft tone. Although Erestor had maintained his distance during all these centuries,, the twin had always cared about the dark-haired counselor. “Please fight.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond raised an eyebrow, seeing the pitiful state Glorfindel was in. The blond was obviously incapable of walking, but seemed extremely eager to get back to his feet. “Glorfindel, what in Elbereth’s name happened on your way back from Lothlorien?”

 

Elrohir dismounted and joined his father and Glorfindel. During their way back Glorfindel had constantly expressed his worry about Erestor, greatly surprising the twin with his concern.

 

“Where is Erestor? Will he recover?” Glorfindel locked eyes with Elrond when they lifted him from the litter. The two of them carried him inside and he repeated his question. “Tell me, Elrond.”

 

“I am not sure,” said Elrond calmly. “He lost too much blood. Much depends on Erestor’s will to survive and recover.” 

 

Glorfindel bit his bottom lip when pain coursed through his legs, and he was relieved when the two half-Elves finally placed him on a bed. Elrond probed the broken bones, removed his leggings and tightly bandaged and splinted his leg after setting the bones. Some time during the treatment the pain overwhelmed him and he fainted.

“Only his right leg is broken,” said Elrond, thoughtfully. “His left knee is badly bruised, but fortunately intact. We should put him into dry clothes and then let him rest.”

 

“How does Erestor fare?” enquired Elrohir. “Glorfindel was rather concerned about him, which surprises me. I was under the impression they never got along.” He assisted his father in removing Glorfindel’s dirty clothes, and then they wrapped the blond in warm blankets. What the Elda needed most was rest so his healing ability could take care of his injuries.

 

“Erestor is seriously injured.” Elrond sighed worriedly. “You can visit him in the adjoining room. Elladan is sitting with him.”

 

“And you will stay with Glorfindel, Ada?”

 

Elrond nodded. “Go talk to your brother.” Elrond watched Elrohir leave and pulled a chair closer up to the bed, where he sat down, watching his friend. Unexpectedly Glorfindel groaned softly and awareness returned to the blond’s eyes. Elrond immediately leaned in closer and searched the sapphire eyes. “How do you fare, Glorfindel? How much pain are you in?”

 

Glorfindel blinked and managed to focus on Elrond. “The pain… is bearable… but tell me this… where is Erestor?”

 

Elrond studied him from beneath a raised eyebrow. “You do not even want to know that you suffered only one broken leg and not two?”

 

Glorfindel nodded once. “That is good news indeed… but I really want… to know about Erestor. Is he…” Glorfindel wavered to actually say the words. “He is still alive… Is he not?”

 

Elrond marveled at the emotion displayed in Glorfindel’s eyes. “He is still alive. Elladan is watching over him.”

 

“Can Erestor and I… share a room? I think the company… would help him… recover.”

 

"You are volunteering to be his roommate?” Elrond’s eyes revealed surprise. “A few weeks ago you asked me to send someone else in your place because you did not want to spend this much time with him.”

 

“I might have been… wrong,” whispered Glorfindel, feeling miserable. “I think I… misjudged him.” Elrond’s inquisitive eyes asked for more information and he complied. “A storm surprised us… and we got caught up in a flood... I was dragged along and Erestor came after me… probably saving my life. He bandaged my legs, built that litter… and gave me our last drops of water. He took care of me, Elrond... I never expected that.”

 

“That cannot have been easy on Erestor, injured as he is.”

 

“He did not tell me, Elrond. He hid his injury… I found out by accident, and when I asked him to stop walking and rest, he refused, insisting he had to take me back to Imladris.”

 

Elrond read shock in Glorfindel’s blue eyes and nodded. “Erestor surprised you.”

 

“Surprised me?” Glorfindel shook his head. “Elrond… he was determined to take me back, even if it cost him his life!”

 

“Why does that surprise you?” asked Elrond, ignoring Glorfindel’s distraught expression. “Erestor is fiercely loyal to all of us.”

 

“But he never showed it before!”

 

“You have to look beneath the face of indifference he usually wears,” said Elrond softly. “Erestor has become more distant and isolated these last few years. He was more spontaneous, friendlier when the children were still little. He might not show it openly, but he needs this family as much as we need him.”

 

Glorfindel considered Elrond’s words, knowing them true. “I do not want to stay in this room... Let me join Erestor.”

 

Elrond nodded, giving in. “We will move you shortly then. Give the twins a moment to fully understand what has happened. Erestor’s soul can still pass on to the Halls of Mandos.”

 

“I pray to Elbereth that Erestor will stay with us,” whispered Glorfindel, holding on to his faith in Elrond’s healing skills.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elrohir soundlessly entered the room, immediately locking eyes with his twin. Surprised, he noticed that Elladan was holding Erestor’s hand, muttering softly. He walked into the room and pulled up a chair, sitting down next to his brother. Erestor looked too pale, too fragile, and he feared his father was right and that the counselor’s soul would travel to Mandos. “I hope he survives,” whispered Elrohir softly, catching Elladan’s gaze. “Ada thinks Erestor might not recover.”

 

“He lost so much blood,” replied Elladan in a saddened tone. “I do not want him to leave us.”

 

Elrohir placed his hand on Elladan’s. “This reminds me of when I was a child.”

 

“In what way?” asked Elladan.

 

“Glorfindel had allowed you to ride out with him for the very first time and I had agreed to study with Erestor. We had never been apart for that long, and missing you, I started to cry. Erestor obviously did not know what to do. He simply stared at me. Later, when I was put to bed, I was still crying because you had not returned yet and suddenly Erestor entered the room. He sat with me, stroked my hair and hugged me. Can you imagine how shocked I was? He had never showed any affection before. He stayed with me until you returned.”

 

Elladan recalled the incident. They had been children and he had been thrilled that Glorfindel would take him for a ride. He had been so excited that he had forgotten about his twin, for the very first time in his life. When they had finally returned home, he had found his twin sitting upright in bed and their father had been manipulating the shadows, using his hands to project animals onto the wall. Elrohir had been smiling and Elladan had instantly felt less guilty for forgetting about his brother. “But,” stuttered Elladan, growing upset, “Ada was sitting with you that night. Not Erestor.” He distinctly remembered seeing their father’s dark hair and brown robes when he had entered. “You mixed something up.”

 

“I did not,” said Elrohir determinedly. “It was Erestor. Did you see Ada’s butterfly hairclip, then?”

 

Elladan’s eyes suddenly widened, realizing he hadn’t seen that clip. “Maybe he forgot to wear it.”

 

“Elladan, we gave it to him as a begetting day present only a few days earlier. He wore it constantly to please us.”

 

Elladan swallowed hard. “Erestor actually hugged you?”

 

“Aye, and when you went to Ada or Glorfindel when you were hurting, I went to Erestor. It was awkward at first. I quickly realized he was not used to hugging someone, but his hugs became warmer through the years.”

 

“I never knew,” whispered Elladan, surprised. “I always thought it was Ada consoling you that night. The mere thought that Erestor hugged you stuns me. He is so distant!”

 

Elrohir inclined his head in thought. “I often wondered about that. He stopped hugging me when I reached majority, and became distant. It was different when I was little.”

 

“He never hugged me,” said Elladan, finding it hard to believe Erestor could show his emotions like that.

 

“When I grew older, I wondered about Erestor -- and I still do. Remember when we played at the Bruinen without Ada knowing about it? You got caught in the current and Erestor dived after you. We were toddlers back then, but I still remember the incident vividly. I was afraid you would drown.”

 

“Are you saying it was Erestor who pulled me out?” He had been under the impression that Ada had saved him. Dark hair had fanned around him when he had been pulled to the surface so he could finally breathe again. Dark hair, which he had automatically had assumed to be his father’s. “I did not know it was Erestor.”

 

Elrohir shrugged. “Erestor might hide his feelings, but I do believe he loves us.”

 

Elladan, still shocked, stared at Erestor’s pale face. “I never knew he reached out to you like that and saved me. What else don’t we know?” Considering his own words, he signaled for his brother to lean in closer.

 

Elrohir frowned when Elladan brushed back some dark locks from Erestor’s face. “What are you doing?”

 

“Look at these scars. Ada thinks it was fingernails that left them behind.” He mimicked Elrond’s gesture, letting his hand hover above Erestor’s neck, never touching any skin.

 

Elrohir swallowed hard; fingernails breaking the skin like that must have hurt. “When did that happen? And why?”

 

“We do not know. But maybe it is time we asked and found out?”

 

“Not yet,” said Elrond, carrying Glorfindel into the room. “Let him recover first.”

 

“Provided he survives,” whispered Elrohir in a depressed tone.

 

Elrond placed Glorfindel on the bed next to Erestor and stepped back after making sure the bandages were still in place. The room was getting crowded, and he signaled for his sons to follow him into the corridor, thus giving Glorfindel a chance to settle down.

 

Elladan and Elrohir anxiously looked at their father. “Why is Glorfindel sharing a room with Erestor?” asked Elladan eventually, still mulling over the information that Elrohir had provided him with.

 

Elrond inclined his head. “Glorfindel is worried about Erestor.”

 

“We all are,” pointed Elrohir out to Elrond, “But sharing a room? I always thought Glorfindel disliked Erestor.”

 

“Things are changing,” said Elrond. “Come, we need to take turns watching them. I suggest one of us remains close at all times, and call me at once should Erestor get worse. I will take the first shift.”

 

“I will take second,” said Elladan, beating Elrohir to volunteering. “Ada? Can I ask you a question?”

 

Curious, Elrond nodded his head. “What do you want to know?”

 

“Who saved me when I nearly drowned in the Bruinen?” Seeing Elrond’s puzzled look, he added, “When I was a child?”

 

Elrond recalled the incident Elladan was talking about. “Erestor dived in after you. Why are you asking?”

 

Elladan swallowed hard. Why had he been convinced it had been Elrond? “And when Glorfindel took me out riding that very first time, did you console Elrohir?”

 

Elrond’s frown deepened. “Erestor did.” Elrohir had only told him later that Erestor had soothed him. Elladan’s questions were beginning to worry him. “Why bring this up now?”

 

Elladan was too ashamed to admit he had thought it had been his father in both cases and lowered his eyes, staring at the floor. “It is nothing.”

 

Elrond didn’t really believe that, but lacked the energy to pull everything out of Elladan. He had two patients to worry about. “Make sure Amdir is taken care of.”

 

The twins nodded and left. Elladan exchanged a look with his twin and whispered, “I really thought it was Ada on both accounts.”

 

“We were young,” said Elrohir, trying to reassure his brother. “Do not worry about it.”

 

“I always thought Erestor did not care and now I find out he saved my life and he was there for you when I was not.”

 

“Elladan, let it go,” advised Elrohir. “He will need us during his recovery and the last thing you should do is feel guilty about something that happened when we were children.”

 

Elladan nodded, but still wasn’t convinced. He felt like he had truly misjudged Erestor.

 

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 4

Glorfindel managed to cock his head so he could look at Erestor. The Elf’s pallor worried him and cold radiated from the counselor’s body; a cold which he knew only too well. Erestor was battling Mandos. Reaching out with his right hand, he clasped Erestor’s in his, rubbing the skin. “Erestor, do not give up now. You must fight and emerge victorious. The Halls of Waiting are cold and lonely. You should stay here instead.”

 

Erestor didn’t react to Glorfindel’s voice, remaining deeply asleep, and Glorfindel desperately tried to think of a way to reach the dark-haired Elf. All he could come up with was holding onto Erestor’s hand and rubbing the knuckles, hoping the injured Elf somehow felt his presence. “Erestor, do not die!”

 

Elrond, having heard Glorfindel’s distressed tone, entered the room and hurried to the blond’s side. “There is so little I can do for him.” He filled the teacup again, lifted Erestor’s head slightly and slowly poured the healing tea into his patient’s mouth. Erestor swallowed instinctively and Elrond allowed a hopeful smile to break through on his face. “He has not left us yet. A part of him is still fighting.”

 

“What can I do to help? How can I make him stay?”

 

Elrond gave Glorfindel a look full of understanding. “I doubt you can make him stay. If he no longer wants to live, his soul will leave us.”

 

“How can I prevent that?”

 

Elrond smiled; Glorfindel appeared extremely determined to keep Erestor alive. “Talk to him. Tell him stories. Read to him. Just hearing your voice might help. And the other thing you can do, you are doing right now; hold his hand, touch him. Somehow you need to make contact with him and get through to him. Show him that you want him to stay.” It was the only advice he could give Glorfindel.

 

“Then get me some books to read from and push my bed closer to his. The Halls of Waiting are no place for Erestor and I will keep him from giving up.”

 

Elrond nodded once and then proceeded to push Glorfindel’s bed closer to Erestor’s, just as the blond had wanted. Elrond smiled as Glorfindel tightened the hold he had on the dark-haired Elf’s hand. During their trip something had brought them closer together. “You never expected him to dive in after you, did you?”

 

“And I never expected him to take care of me.”

 

Glorfindel’s determined expression filled Elrond with hope. “Let us hope that you are right and that you will succeed in keeping him here. I will bring you a book to read from, and my sons and I will sit with Erestor as well.”

 

“Thank you,” whispered Glorfindel. “I knew you would not give up on him without a fight.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Glorfindel, feeling exhausted, put down his book and looked at Erestor. The sun and moon had risen and set once and still the dark-haired Elf remained unconscious. He had been reading nonstop for hours now, and Elrohir had brought him some tea, hearing his hoarse voice. The youngest twin had stayed, and was now sitting in a chair next to Erestor’s bed.

 

“Do you want me to continue reading?” offered Elrohir. After seeing Glorfindel nod, he reached for the book and began reading where the blond had left off, his soft, melodic voice pleasantly echoing through the room.

 

Even Glorfindel grew calm, and dozed off, listening to Elrohir’s voice.

 

Elrohir smiled, seeing Glorfindel’s eyes grow vacant. The Elda had fought sleep for a day now, but exhaustion had finally gotten the better of him. He continued to read, occasionally looking at his charges. When his father entered, he smiled warmly. “Glorfindel finally went to sleep. I probably bored him.”

 

“You did well, Elrohir. Glorfindel needs to rest.” Elrond came to a halt next to Erestor’s bed and cautiously pushed down the covers. Probing the bandages, he found no fresh blood on them and he sighed, relieved. “The bleeding has stopped.”

 

“Maybe there wasn’t any more blood left?” Elrohir’s voice sounded utterly miserable. “Erestor is so pale, Ada.”

 

“It is time for him to drink more of the herbal tea.” Elrond repeated the procedure, slowly pouring the tea down Erestor’s throat. After lowering his patient back onto the bed, he studied his counselor. “I was afraid his soul would leave us, but he is still with us.”

 

“Do you think he will survive?” asked Elrohir in a hopeful tone.

 

Elrond sat down on the edge of the bed and curled his fingers around Erestor’s right hand. Glorfindel was still clinging to the left. “His chances at survival are increasing.”

 

“Ada?” Elrohir put away the book and looked at his father. “Elladan and I were talking about Erestor. When we were little Erestor never seemed as distant as he is now.”

 

”True,” agreed Elrond, “He grew more distant after you reached majority. You might not remember, for Elladan and you were babies at the time, but he would hold you for hours, then switch to holding Elladan and usually ended up holding both of you before Celebrian would put you to bed. It was the same when Arwen was born. He adored the three of you when you were babies.”

 

“I do not understand him,” sighed Elrohir, worriedly. “When I was still an Elfling, and upset because Elladan had done something stupid, I would go to Erestor and he would hold me. Awkwardly, but it was obvious he cared. The affection he showed me when I was an Elfling has faded and when I look at him now, it is gone completely.”

 

“You might not be looking behind his mask,” said Elrond thoughtfully. “I do not think he ever stopped caring about the three of you, but he became better at hiding it.”

 

“Why would he feel like he needs to hide his feelings?”

 

“I was wondering about the same thing.” Elrond exchanged a look with Elrohir. “We should try to find out, provided he survives.” Elrond rose to his feet and headed for the doorway. “Call me, should Erestor’s condition worsen.”

 

“I will.” Elrohir sighed and picked up the book again, reading softly to the two sleeping forms.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Four days and nights passed and still Erestor showed no sign of waking up. Elrond sighed disappointedly; he had hoped the attention they were constantly giving Erestor would pay off. Now he sat on the bed again, feeding Erestor the healing tea. Glorfindel anxiously watched his every move, making Elrond nervous. “I told you before that you cannot make him stay.”

 

“But he is still alive! That must mean he chose to stay!” Even the cold had somewhat retreated from the counselor’s body. “We must continue to talk to him, touch him.”

 

Elrond gave the blond a worried look. “What has gotten into you, Glorfindel? I hardly recognize you. I also greatly worry about Erestor, but—“

 

Glorfindel cut the half-Elf short. “He saved my life, Elrond.”

 

“And?” Elrond directed an inquisitive look at the blond.

 

“And I want to know who hurt him so badly that he feels he can no longer show his feelings.”

 

“I agree that Erestor was hurt in the past, deeply, but I doubt he will confide in you, should he regain consciousness.”

 

“But I am determined to try. I won’t allow him to push me away again. Just before Elladan and Elrohir found us, he said he hoped some good was still left in Arda.” Glorfindel slightly shifted in the bed. His bruised knee was healing and no longer caused him any discomfort. His broken leg was bandaged tightly, but still throbbed painfully. He hoped to be walking on crutches in a few days. Being confined to bed was driving him insane. Realizing his thoughts had drifted away, he returned to their topic. “I always wondered why he called his horse Amdir.”

 

“Because there is still a sparkle of hope left in Erestor. Do you wish to make it blaze brightly?”

 

Glorfindel’s eyes widened, but he nodded firmly. “Why do you think I wanted to share this room with him? I need to know him close.”

 

“And when he wakes up? Will you leave or stay close? You do realize Erestor will try to push you away again?”

 

“He won’t succeed,” said Glorfindel grimly. “I won’t leave him alone until he has told me why he is acting in this way.”

 

“I wish you luck,” said Elrond skeptically. “I tried centuries ago when Erestor arrived in Imladris. I never succeeded.”

 

“Erestor was already part of your household when I returned from Mandos.” Erestor hadn’t been Elrond’s chief counselor yet, but he had already advised the Lord of Imladris in urgent matters. “Was he already that distant when you first met him?”

 

Elrond frowned, trying to recall his first encounter with Erestor. “I was not sure he had reached majority when he arrived and I was inclined to send him back to his family, but he begged me to let him stay. I wondered about that.”

 

“Why would he not want to go back to his family?”

 

“I do not know, but I allowed him to stay. He began working in the library as a scribe, and then became my personal assistant. I recall working on some road maintenance plans and becoming increasingly frustrated until Erestor timidly suggested a different approach. He was really quiet, hardly ever said a word. It took me years of coaxing him into expressing his opinions.” Elrond continued, “He hardly had any self confidence and always remained at the back, never drawing any attention to himself.”

 

“And when the twins were born?”

 

“Celebrian took a liking to Erestor, which surprised me, but I happily encouraged their friendship.” Elrond suddenly grinned. “One night, I found Celebrian sound asleep; the twins had kept her awake for several days. And Erestor was sitting in her rocking chair, one twin in each arm, rocking them and muttering softly.”

 

Glorfindel’s eyes grew big. “He was rocking the twins?”

 

“And they were finally asleep. They had been screaming and crying for days.” Elrond smiled brilliantly. “The babies adored him.”

 

Glorfindel laughed warmly. “Why do I have trouble picturing that scene?”

 

“I know it is hard to believe, but it is true; they went quiet whenever Erestor rocked them.” Elrond rested his right hand on Erestor’s brow and gently rubbed the skin. “I do not know why he forces himself to wear this mask; maybe you can find out.”

 

Glorfindel nodded his head once. “I will.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Erestor’s soft groan startled Elladan, who had relieved his brother. It was six days ago that they had happened upon Erestor and Glorfindel, and although the blond’s legs were healing, the counselor remained unconscious.

 

Elladan reached for the cup. “It is time for another round of tea.” How many times had he made Erestor drink the concoction? And still it didn’t seem to help.

 

Glorfindel watched closely as Elladan placed the cup at Erestor’s lips, still hoping the raven-haired Elf would miraculously wake up.

 

The truth was they were losing hope.

 

Shifting in the bed, he pushed himself into an upright position. Earlier this morning Elrond had allowed him to walk; he had needed crutches, but had managed to walk from the bed to the bathroom and back again. He had wanted to share his happiness with Erestor, but the vacant eyes had quickly made him feel depressed again.

 

Elladan’s breath caught as another pain-filled groan escaped Erestor’s lips. “Erestor?” Studying the dark eyes, Elladan thought he saw a spark of recognition. “Glorfindel? I think he is waking up.”

 

Glorfindel leaned in closer, trying to lock eyes with Erestor, who was lying limply in Elladan’s arms. “Erestor? Can you hear me?”

 

Erestor blinked once and then released a keening wail, filled with agony.

 

Elladan acted instinctively, soothing the distressed Elf. “You are back in Imladris. You are safe. Please stay calm.”

 

Glorfindel quickly placed a hand on Erestor’s arm. “Erestor? Listen to Elladan. You are safe. You are at the healing house and Elrond has tended to your injury.” He held his breath when Erestor’s gaze suddenly fixed on him. “Aye, Erestor, it is I, Glorfindel. We are home again.”

 

“H-home?” stuttered Erestor brokenly. His eyes were still glazed and he seemed unable to focus his gaze.

 

A lump had formed in Elladan’s throat and he swallowed hard at Erestor’s helplessness. Realizing that Glorfindel was already holding one of Erestor’s hands, he took hold of the other, gently squeezing it. “Aye, you are home, and Glorfindel is here as well.”

 

Glorfindel smiled and rubbed Erestor’s knuckles. “I knew you were a survivor, Erestor. You battled Mandos, did you not?”

 

“It… was…cold,” whispered Erestor, fatigued. What was Glorfindel talking about? He hadn’t been to Mandos. He had just been cold.

 

“Glorfindel? Look after him whilst I fetch Ada?” Elladan rose to his feet and headed for the doorway, eager to alert Elrond that Erestor had finally woken.

 

Glorfindel warmly squeezed Erestor’s hand, wishing he was mobile enough to move even closer to Erestor. The dark-haired Elf lay on his back and stared blankly at the ceiling, but was nonetheless awake. Seeing that blank expression worried Glorfindel, and he gently tugged on Erestor’s hand, trying to gain his attention. “Erestor, please look at me?” He was determined to keep Erestor awake until Elrond had had a chance to speak with his patient.

 

Erestor struggled, but managed to cock his head to look at the blond. “Why are you… still here?” Talking drained him and he was tempted to fall asleep again, but something in Glorfindel’s expression urged him to stay awake and talk to him. Then he remembered Glorfindel’s broken legs. That explained why he was lying in bed, but it did not explain why Glorfindel was sharing a room with him. The healing house had many rooms; why would Elrond put them in the same room?

 

“Why I am still here?” repeated Glorfindel in disbelief. “I am here because you were unconscious these last six days; you greatly worried me. I was afraid you would not return to us. I could not leave you!” Glorfindel registered the bafflement in Erestor’s eyes and was moved by it. Erestor had never expected him to be there when he woke. “You saved my life, Erestor. You dived in after me and took care of me. How can I do anything less for you in return? I will watch over you until you have recovered. You won’t push me away that easily.”

 

Erestor, stunned, had silently listened to Glorfindel’s declaration, and felt now lost for words. What was he supposed to say to that? Breathing in too deeply caused pain to erupt from his abdomen and he was instantly reminded of his injury. He wanted to probe the wound, but found that Glorfindel had a tight hold on his hand, refusing to let him pull away. /Why is he holding my hand?/ Using his other hand, he probed the bandages.

 

“Your wound has finally stopped bleeding,” announced Elrond in a warm tone. “You had me worried, Erestor. I was afraid you had lost too much blood to survive.” Elrond walked over to Erestor and removed the probing hand from the bandages. “Don’t move too much; there is still the danger than the wound might reopen again.”

 

Erestor, who was still staring at Glorfindel and trying to figure out what the blond was talking about, now had to shift his gaze to Elrond. The worried expression in the half-Elf’s blue eyes took him somewhat by surprise. Elrond had always tried to be his friend, but he had pushed Elrond away just as hard as the half-Elf had tried to get to know him. He had hoped Elrond had finally given up on befriending him, but he had been wrong.

 

Elladan entered the room and joined his father, tentatively making eye contact with his former mentor. He’d had time to work through his confusion at finding out Erestor had saved him in the past. He felt like he needed to say something, but was at a loss for words.

 

“You should drink some water now that you are awake,” said Elrond, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He reached for the carafe on the nightstand and poured some water.

 

“Let me help,” said Elladan quickly, sitting down on Erestor’s other side and helping the injured Elf to lift his head.

 

Erestor was shocked at finding the two half-Elves tending to him. And then there was Glorfindel, staring worriedly at him.

 

“Erestor, drink,” said Elrond when the injured Elf’s lips remained tightly closed.

 

Erestor gave in and swallowed. The water was refreshing and he sighed contently. He hated to admit it, but lying in a warm and comfortable bed and being pampered felt good. He had never been fussed over before and wasn’t sure how to react when Elrond slowly lowered him back onto the bed, tucking the covers around his form. So he remained quiet, watching them instead.

 

“Erestor?”

 

Glorfindel’s voice reminded him that the blond was also present and he cocked his head to look at him. What did Glorfindel want from him? All Erestor wanted was to go back to sleep so he could forget about his pain.

 

“I am glad you came back.” Glorfindel smiled radiantly, still rubbing Erestor’s knuckles.

 

Glorfindel’s behavior puzzled Erestor, but then again, so did Elrond and Elladan’s. The twin was staring at him, a confused expression in his eyes. He was honestly surprised that Elladan was here; he knew the older twin usually avoided his company. Elrond suddenly stroked back a lock that had strayed into his face and Erestor nearly flinched at the touch, stopping himself just in time.

 

Elrond frowned, sensing Erestor’s distress, but had no idea what had caused it. “Are you still thirsty? Hungry?” He could tell by looking at Erestor’s glazed eyes that his charge was about to doze off again.

 

“Can I go back… to sleep now?” Erestor was very much aware of Glorfindel’s fingers rubbing his skin and wondered why the blond was keeping up the reassurance. Even more amazing was that he didn’t flinch away from the touch. That had never happened before.

 

“Aye, you can go back to sleep,” said Elrond soothingly, stroking Erestor’s hair. Tremors shook Erestor’s body and he pulled back, giving his patient more personal space. The counselor calmed down and his eyes grew vacant again. Elrond exchanged a worried look with Glorfindel, but smiled, realizing the Elda was still holding Erestor’s hand. He had expected the injured Elf to pull back, but Erestor surprisingly enough seemed to allow the caress. “You managed the impossible, Glorfindel. It certainly looks like you stopped him from entering the Halls of Waiting,” said Elrond, pleased.

 

Glorfindel smiled happily at Elrond. “-We- kept him here, Elrond.”

 

“Elrohir will be relieved to hear Erestor regained consciousness,” whispered Elladan.

 

Elrond looked at his oldest son, seeing an unreadable emotion in Elladan’s eyes. “I assume you are relieved as well?”

 

“Aye, but I also feel guilty,” admitted Elladan.

 

“Guilty? Why?” Elrond’s brow grew knitted. “Why do you feel guilty?”

 

Elladan sighed deeply. “Ada, remember I asked you about me nearly drowning in the Bruinen?”

 

Elrond nodded. “I do.”

 

“I always thought it was you who saved me, not Erestor.” Elladan lowered his eyes. “I also did not know it was Erestor who consoled Elrohir when he was upset because I had left with Glorfindel. I never knew Erestor cared.”

 

Elrond shook his head. “Do not feel guilty, Elladan. You were very young when this happened.” Elrond grinned. “Remind me to tell you about Erestor rocking you when you were a baby.” Elladan’s eyes widened and Elrond reassuringly placed his hand on his son’s shoulder.

 

“Will you tell me?”

 

Elrond nodded. “I will tell you, but we should leave now. Our talking might disturb Erestor’s sleep and he is in good hands with Glorfindel.” Addressing the blond, he said, “We will remain close. Call us when you need assistance.”

 

Glorfindel watched Elrond and Elladan go, eager to spend time alone with Erestor, even when the dark-haired Elf was soundly asleep, but he hoped the injured Elf would wake again shortly for then he could talk to him. Looking at Erestor, he wondered about the other Elf. He had also noticed the way Erestor had pulled away from Elrond’s touch; it strengthened him in his belief that someone had hurt the counselor in the past. /Who hurt you? And why?/ Glorfindel was determined to find out.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elladan was perplexed after listening to Elrond. His father had told him how Erestor had befriended Celebrian, and usually watched the twins, rocking them when they refused to stop crying. “He rocked us?” He remembered his mother’s rocking chair, but couldn’t picture Erestor sitting in it, holding them.

 

“I think he still cares deeply about you and Elrohir, but feels he needs to hide that affection.”

 

“Then we must find out why he is hiding from us.” Elladan walked toward the doorway. “I will inform Elrohir that Erestor woke up.”

 

Elrond let him go and pondered Elladan’s shocked reaction. He had never realized how much a part Erestor had been of their lives when his children had been born, and the twins had apparently forgotten Erestor had loved them. Well, they had only been babies. Once they had grown older, Erestor had become colder.

 

/I wonder why?/

 

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 5

 

 

Glorfindel was definitely driving him insane. The blond had first played his flute and had then started reading to him, despite his request to be left alone. Erestor closed his eyes momentarily, trying to lock out Glorfindel’s warm and enchanting voice, but he failed. Instead he found himself clinging to every word, hoping Glorfindel would stay close a few more days. With difficulty, and biting down the pain, he managed to turn onto his right, turning away from Glorfindel.

 

Glorfindel’s features distorted when Erestor turned his back on him. What was he doing wrong? He was trying hard to entertain Erestor, hoping to see the dark-haired Elf smile just once. He sat upright in bed, placed his crutches beneath his armpits and pushed himself up to his feet. Moving slowly, he made his way to Erestor’s bed and came to a halt in front of the injured Elf, forcing Erestor to look at him. The Noldorin Elf’s eyes closed, frustrating him even further.

 

Erestor wasn’t sure what he wanted Glorfindel to do. He had expected the blond to tire of his behavior, but at the same time he hoped that the Elda wouldn’t give up on reaching out to him. He couldn’t help that he had lost the ability to trust!

 

“Erestor? Would you just look at me? I feel locked out.” Glorfindel decided on the direct approach. “Why are you pushing me away? I am trying to be pleasant company and the least you can do is to talk and look at me. Am I invisible to you?”

 

Erestor sighed, dejectedly. “Why can't you leave me alone?”

 

“Is that what you really want? To be left alone?” Glorfindel studied the silent form. “A week ago I would have believed you, but I no longer do.” To his utter satisfaction Erestor’s eyes opened to stare at him in shock. “And I am right, am I not? You like my company.” Victoriously, he smiled at the Noldorin Elf. “You do not have to admit it aloud, Erestor. I read the answer in your eyes.“

 

For one brief moment Erestor considered protesting, but he was hurting and in dire need of a friend, so he allowed the blond to continue.

 

“Why do we not call for a truce?” Glorfindel, growing tired as his pain increased, lowered himself onto the chair next to Erestor, which Elrond or one of his sons usually occupied. “We are both in the same situation and we can draw comfort from each other’s company.”

 

Erestor wasn’t sure that giving in was the right thing to do, afraid he might regret trusting Glorfindel later, but he nodded once. “A truce, then.”

 

“And you will stop pushing me away.” Glorfindel studied the dark eyes, which revealed hurt and loneliness, two emotions he had seen there before when Erestor had taken care of him during those cold and wet nights.

 

“I will try,” said Erestor softly, “but I am not sure I can.” Locking others out had been his way of making sure no one could ever hurt him again -- and now Glorfindel was asking him to trust him. Could he do that?

 

Glorfindel’s smile was saddened, realizing a world of hurt hid in Erestor’s eyes. Throwing caution to the wind, he leaned in closer. “Who has hurt you so badly in the past?” He instantly regretted his words when Erestor’s eyes widened in shock. An expression of indifference then appeared, where just loneliness and pain had been.

 

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” Erestor gritted his teeth against the pain, turning onto his other side as he was no longer able to look Glorfindel in the eyes.

 

The fact that Erestor didn’t trust him after all these centuries hurt, but didn’t come as a surprise to Glorfindel. “Erestor? You promised to not shut me out.”

 

“Then do not ask such stupid questions!” Erestor’s voice hitched, revealing his shock.

 

“I regret asking you that question, but I am worried about you.”

 

“Do not worry about me. I can take care of myself.”

 

Glorfindel suddenly realized something about Erestor. “You always had to take care of yourself because no one else did.”

 

Erestor’s discomfort increased; Glorfindel was discovering too much about him and it had to stop before he caved in and entrusted his pain to the blond. “Can we change the subject?”

 

But Glorfindel considered everything he had learned so far. Elrond had told him that when Erestor had arrived in Imladris he’d had no self confidence, never spoke up until the half-Elf convinced him it was expected of him as his advisor.

 

By Elbereth, he was still missing too many pieces of this puzzle and it didn’t look like Erestor would help him. /The babies. Elrond said Erestor adored the twins when they were babies… Why can I not solve this riddle?/ Getting frustrated, he rested a hand on Erestor’s shoulder, feeling the Elf tremble at the touch. “What would you like to talk about then? The twins maybe?” Erestor froze beneath his touch.

 

“The twins? Why would I want to discuss them?” Erestor tightly closed his eyes, wishing Glorfindel would leave him alone. The blond was learning too much about him!

 

“You scared Elrohir when you remained unconscious. He was afraid you would not return to us, and choose to stay at Mandos instead.” Glorfindel knew he was treading on dangerous grounds, but still continued. “He also told me that you comforted him when he was little.” Erestor was now shaking like a leaf and Glorfindel realized it was time to give the Noldorin Elf some personal space. “Would you like me to read to you?”

 

Erestor shook his head. “I can read to myself if I so desire. I do not need you to read to me.”

 

Glorfindel sighed, exasperated. Why was Erestor making this so hard on them?

 

“Is my patient giving you any trouble, Glorfindel?” Elrond entered the room with a bemused expression on his face after hearing the last lines they had exchanged. Had Glorfindel really thought he would reach Erestor that easily? The Elda was in for a surprise.

 

“He is being difficult, yes,” scowled Glorfindel, frustrated.

 

“Why don’t you return to your bed, Glorfindel? I need to check Erestor’s bandages.” Elrond waited for the blond to move back to his bed and answered his friend’s frown with a smile. /Do not give up yet./ It would take time to get through to Erestor. He came to a stop next to Erestor’s bed and pushed down the blankets. “How do you fare today? Are you still in any pain?”

 

Erestor was now forced to open his eyes and return Elrond’s gaze. “Only when I breathe in too deeply.”

 

Elrond sat down on the bed and slowly pulled Erestor into an upright position. “Lean against me, meldir-nîn.” He distinctly noticed the stiffness to Erestor’s movement when the injured Elf’s chest came to rest against his shoulder. Gently, he removed the bandages and then lowered Erestor back onto the bed again.

 

Erestor quickly glanced at his stomach, finding that the wound had closed, though it would probably leave an ugly scar for some years. Well, it wasn’t like he didn’t have any other scars, what difference made one more? Elrond’s fingers cautiously probed the wound and Erestor’s lips became a thin line, stoically enduring the examination.

 

Once Elrond was convinced that the wound was healing properly he placed fresh healing herbs on the mending area, and after pulling Erestor against him, applied the bandages once more. “I might allow you to leave your bed tomorrow, if you promise to not overdo it.”

 

Lying flat on his back again, Erestor hesitantly made eye contact with the healer. “Does that mean I can return to my rooms then?”

 

Elrond had expected that question and had his answer ready. “No. You will stay here for a few more days.” Erestor’s eyes darkened at that, but Elrond gave his friend a stern look. “You almost died a week ago. I want to keep an eye on you a little longer and I cannot do that when you are back in your rooms. Like Glorfindel, you will stay here at the Healing House.” Elrond noticed the smug look on the blond’s face and realized Glorfindel didn’t want Erestor to leave either. “Who knows,” said Elrond, only half jokingly, “Maybe the two of you will even become friends.”

 

Glorfindel smiled warmly at that, whilst Erestor swallowed hard, trying to rid himself of the emotions choking him. Friends? Elrond had better not count on that.

 

“I would like that,” said Glorfindel, sincerely, and he managed to catch Erestor’s elusive gaze with his.

 

Erestor sighed, fatigued, wondering why they were teaming up against him. “Can I sleep now? I am tired.”

 

Elrond and Glorfindel realized Erestor no longer wanted to talk to them and stopped pushing him. Elrond nodded his head. “You can go to sleep now. When you wake up again Elrohir will probably be keeping you company for my presence is required elsewhere.” Thranduil had sent a letter, asking his help in keeping their borders safe. The letter had surprised him, but Elrond had welcomed the offer to combine their forces. “I will visit later.”

 

Erestor forced himself to fall asleep again, unable to keep up this front much longer. He wanted so desperately to let them in, to tell them how much he was hurting, but didn’t dare; he was afraid to have his trust betrayed again.

 

Elrond and Glorfindel’s gazes met, and both were filled with worry.

 

“He promised to not push me away, and what does he do?” Glorfindel sighed, dejectedly. “I do not know how to get through to him. He completely shut down when I asked him who had hurt him in the past.”

 

“You asked him that?” Wide-eyed, Elrond shook his head. “Glorfindel, you need to be subtle. You cannot be that direct!” Releasing a deep sigh, he studied his friend. “What else did you do?”

 

“I mentioned he adored the twins when they were little. He shut down at once. I just do not understand why we are not allowed to know he cares.”

 

Elrond made sure Erestor was sound asleep and then brushed the dark tresses aside, revealing the scars his son had discovered earlier.

 

Glorfindel gasped at seeing them and reached the same conclusion as Elrond had. “Fingernails.”

 

“I have been thinking about that. Someone must have held him down. Standing behind him, pushing him down.” Elrond let one hand hover above the scars. “Someone did not want him to move.”

 

“But why? And who did this?” Glorfindel’s eyes narrowed. “Are they recent?”

 

Elrond shook his head. “He must have been an Elfling when this happened.”

 

“So that is why he wears his hair loose. I wondered about that.”

 

“Plaits would reveal the scars.”

 

“This happened when he was a child then?” Glorfindel tried to make sense of this new information. “Who would be holding down a child like that? The skin broke and must have bled. He must have been in pain.” Elrond’s eyes had widened, alerting Glorfindel. “What is on your mind?”

 

But Elrond quickly shook his head. “It is impossible. No one would do that to a child.”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Discipline him in such a way… That would be abusive.” Elrond’s thoughts raced.

 

A painful moan leaving Erestor’s lips pulled them away from their conversation.

 

“He is still in a great deal of pain,” said Elrond, concerned. “I will check on him in a few hours after I have answered Thranduil’s letter.” Seeing Glorfindel’s curious look, he added, “Do not worry about it. I can manage.” Elrond rose to his feet, but then froze again. “I could ask Erestor’s father.”

 

Glorfindel raised an eyebrow. “Erestor’s father?”

 

“Eridhren is one of Thranduil’s closest advisors. I can add a second letter and address it to him. Maybe he knows who hurt Erestor in the past.” Elrond had considered writing to Erestor’s father when the Elfling had first come to Imladris, but back then Erestor had begged him not to. Maybe it was time to get to the bottom of things. “Aye, I will write to him, but we will have to wait for an answer.”

 

“And in the meantime I will continue to try to get through to him,” said Glorfindel determinedly. “And I won’t give up.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Erestor woke next, he was awfully thirsty and his abdomen was aching again due to Elrond’s probing earlier. He spotted the healing tea on the nightstand next to Glorfindel’s bed, but it was way out of his reach. This past week he had been confined to bed and he had no idea if he could walk unaided; a fall might cause the wound to reopen, but the pain was growing worse. He needed that herbal tea for it would dampen the pain and help him sleep. Why had Elrond placed the teapot out of his reach?

 

Realizing he had to get the tea himself, he pushed back the covers, cringing when his stomach contracted. /You have been through worse. You can do this./ Erestor slowly pushed himself into a sitting position and then placed his feet on the floor. Vertigo overwhelmed him and he sat motionless, waiting for the sensation to pass. When it did, he pressed one hand against his healing wound and with the other he supported himself, using the wall to guide his steps.

 

He was relieved when the terrible agony, which he had been in since right after the flood, didn’t return. Trying hard to bite down the ache, he carefully placed one foot in front of the other. /Don’t stumble; don’t fall!/ Glorfindel was asleep and he hoped the blond wouldn’t wake until he had returned to his bed.

 

Now that he had reached the nightstand came the tricky part. He had to let go of the wall to pour the tea. Swaying on his feet, he let go of the wall and curled his fingers around the handle of the teapot. Raising it caused a wave of pain to course through his abdomen. It ruined his concentration and his fingers slipped away; the teapot dropped onto the floor with a loud thud.

 

Glorfindel awake at once, startled by the crashing sound and sat upright, searching the room for a possible intruder. His heart missed a beat at seeing Erestor sway on his feet and with a guilty look on his face. His gaze dropped, and at seeing the broken pot he realized Erestor had left his bed to drink some of the healing tea. But the Noldorin Elf had apparently overestimated his strength. Glorfindel grabbed a crutch and struggled to his feet. Only the leg that had been broken still troubled him, but Elrond had assured him the fracture would heal with one more week of rest.

 

Stumbling toward Erestor, Glorfindel determinedly wrapped his other arm around the dark haired Elf’s waist. “What are you doing on your feet?” Realizing he didn’t have the strength to support Erestor, he called for help.

 

A moment later Elrohir appeared. “Ada told you to stay in bed!” He hurried over to Erestor, carefully folding an arm around the Elf’s shoulder and guiding him back to bed. “And Glorfindel? Ada told you to rest as well.”

 

Glorfindel, still worried about Erestor’s health, obeyed wordlessly and returned to his bed, keeping a close eye on the counselor.

 

“Sit down slowly,” instructed Elrohir, helping Erestor sit down on his bed. Erestor was panting softly and he waited for the elder Elf to catch his breath. Pain shone from the dark eyes and Elrohir felt the overwhelming urge to hug the other Elf.

 

Erestor froze completely when Elrohir’s arms came up behind his back, pulling him into an embrace.

 

Glorfindel, who could see Erestor’s eyes, noticed the shock, almost fear in them. /Whatever happened to him caused him to be afraid of physical contact./ Hopefully Erestor’s father knew what troubled his son.

 

When Elrohir pulled back, tears shimmered in his eyes. Erestor had not answered the embrace and now sat paralyzed, as if scared to breathe. “What is wrong, Erestor?” He released the other Elf reluctantly; he had hoped Erestor would welcome the embrace. “Why does my closeness make you feel uncomfortable? You held me in the past when I was hurting and now I want to soothe you as well. Was I wrong to hug you?”

 

A shudder traveled through Erestor’s body as he collapsed into himself. He had hurt the younger Elf’s feelings and he hated himself for that. Unable to answer Elrohir, he closed his eyes in misery.

 

Elrohir realized he wouldn’t get an answer and helped Erestor to lie down. “I will clean up the floor and prepare new tea.”

 

“I am sorry about the mess I made,” whispered Erestor, shakily.

 

“You are wounded, still hurting. Why did you not call me? I would have loved to help,” said Elrohir in a friendly tone.

 

“I do not want to be a burden and I thought I could cover the distance myself.” Erestor’s eyes remained close, unable to meet Elrohir’s gaze.

 

“You are –not- a burden!” said Elrohir firmly. He sighed deeply, disappointed that he hadn’t been able to offer Erestor any comfort. “I will return with the tea shortly. How much pain are you in?” His father had told him what to do in case Erestor’s condition worsened.

 

“It is bearable,” said Erestor, unwilling to take more up of Elrohir’s time.

 

But Elrohir heard the truth in Erestor’s forced tone and opened one of his father’s pouches, removed the dried herbs and placed them against Erestor’s lips. “Chew on them. They will lessen your pain and help you sleep.” Erestor’s eyes finally opened and Elrohir fought the urge to hug him again, seeing the misery in them. But he refrained from embracing Erestor, vividly remembering the dark haired Elf’s reaction a moment ago. “Chew.”

 

Erestor obeyed, and began to chew on the herbs, which released a bitter essence. He recognized the taste, swallowed and within moments his pain began to fade away.

 

Elrohir nodded, pleased. “Now rest.” He brushed some stray strands out of Erestor’s face and expected to see him shiver, which Erestor promptly did. He waited for his former mentor to fall asleep, and once he was sure that Erestor could no longer hear them, he looked at Glorfindel. “It almost seems like he is afraid to be touched.”

 

Glorfindel had reached the same conclusion. “We must be patient. If we try hard enough, we will find out in time.”

 

Elrohir picked up the broken teapot and cleaned the floor. “We need to be more careful in future. I do not want him to leave his bed to get to the tea.” Elrohir got to his feet and looked at the counselor. “When I was little and he hugged me, he always trembled. I never understood why. My closeness must have terrified him.”

 

“But still he rocked and held you. Your father clearly stated that Erestor adored the babies.”

 

“But things changed when we grew up.” Elrohir disposed of the teapot and then pulled up the covers, making sure Erestor remained warm. “Do you think he will ever allow us in and tell us why?”

 

“Maybe.” Glorfindel, sitting upright, cocked his head. “Elrond is writing to Eridhren to find out what is wrong with Erestor.”

 

Unfamiliar with that name Elrohir looked at Glorfindel curiously.

 

“Eridhren is Erestor’s father and advisor to Thranduil.” Glorfindel frowned deeply. “I do not recall ever meeting him.” He had often escorted Elrond when he and Thranduil had met to discuss urgent matters, and, come to think of it, Erestor had never accompanied them. Wouldn’t he have been thrilled to see his father again? /His father; what role does Eridhren play? Elrond said that Erestor was severely intimidated when he arrived in Imladris and did not want to return to his family. His father… Eridhren is the missing piece to this puzzle./

 

“Glorfindel?” Elrohir walked over to the blond’s bed and tried to read the expression in his friend’s eyes. “What are you brooding about?”

 

“Erestor’s father. Why did he never visit his son? And I cannot remember Erestor ever leaving Imladris to visit his father. That does not make any sense.” Glorfindel frowned. “We just discovered one more piece of this puzzle, but I do not know what to make of it.”

 

Elrohir sat quietly, trying to help Glorfindel solve this mystery. “Erestor cannot have been very happy when he sought refuge here. Ada told me Erestor begged him to not contact his father. He was rather worried about Erestor, who was still very young to be away from home.”

 

Glorfindel drew a conclusion that worried him. “Can it be that he was trying to get away from his father?”

 

“It surely sounds like it,” agreed Elrohir, worried. “But why?”

 

“We should ask Erestor, or confront Eridhren.” Elrond’s letter would take care of that. They just had to be patient.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond handed the messenger his reply to Thranduil and a letter for Eridhren. He had almost reconsidered writing to Erestor’s father, but his concern for his counselor urged him to take action. For centuries he had let Erestor lock them out, and Glorfindel was right; that had to stop now. He had ignored the matter for much too long.

 

The messenger left and Elrond left his study to check on his charges. Glorfindel had recovered quickly, and he would have released the blond yesterday, had it not been for his request to be allowed to stay close to Erestor.

 

Erestor, however, did worry him. Although the wound had closed and had begun to heal, he worried about the counselor’s emotional health.

 

Elrond reached the Healing House and peeked into the room Glorfindel and Erestor shared. The blond was awake, reading, but regularly looked up to check on Erestor. Glorfindel’s recent interest in Erestor pleased Elrond. He had always hoped someone would look beneath the face of indifference Erestor usually wore.

 

He did, however, wonder just how deep Glorfindel’s interest in Erestor ran. Lately, there was an unreadable emotion in the blond’s eyes that reminded him of the way Gil-galad had looked at him decades ago. Even now, Glorfindel was looking at Erestor in that certain way.

 

For as long as he could remember Erestor had never mentioned a lover. Maybe that was what was missing from Erestor’s life? A mate? Maybe Glorfindel was about to render that?

 

Elrond smiled; Erestor didn’t realize it yet, but his life was about to change.

 

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 6.

 

 

Erestor managed to survive the next few days, which were filled with Glorfindel’s cheerful chatter, awkward hugs delivered by Elrohir, and concerned stares from Elladan. At times he felt intimidated and uneasy, uncertain how to react when Elrohir enveloped him in another hug. The first few times he had frozen, unable to even breathe whilst the hug lasted, but now he was beginning to accept Elrohir’s closeness.

 

Elrond, who had supervised his recovery, now sat next to his bed, watching him. They were alone in the room, as Glorfindel had left to exercise whilst Elladan kept a close eye on the blond. Erestor shifted in bed, feeling nervous under Elrond’s probing stare. “When can I return to my chambers? The wound has long closed and there is no reason to keep me here.” He looked at Elrond, meeting the half-Elf’s curious gaze. Calling on his strength, he didn’t budge when Elrond’s gaze became piercing. It almost felt the half-Elf was capable of seeing into his very soul.

 

“I will allow you to leave the Healing House, but why are you so eager to return to your cold and empty chambers when you have the pleasure of Glorfindel’s company here?” Elrond observed Erestor carefully until the counselor finally averted his eyes.

 

“I cannot take much more of this… attention,” said Erestor, searching for the right words whilst staring at his hands, resting idly in his lap. “It feels like everyone has taken an interest in me and the attention makes me feel uncomfortable.”

 

Erestor’s honesty surprised Elrond, and he welcomed it. “You nearly died, Erestor. Maybe they now understand what a loss your death would have been and it made them eager to render past mistakes.” Erestor’s eyes flashed with an unidentifiable emotion, making Elrond frown.

 

“Mistakes? What past mistakes?” Erestor was still trying to deal with the fact that Elrond thought his death would have been a loss.

 

Elrond cleared his throat, preparing himself for a verbal battle. “Let us start with Glorfindel. He always thought you cold and distant, but since you dived in after him, he realized he never tried to get to know you. The real you, not the one you pretend to be.” Erestor had frozen and now stared at him with dread in his eyes. “Do not deny it, for it is the truth.”

 

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” said Erestor stubbornly. “If all you are capable of is speaking nonsense I will return to my rooms now.” Erestor, feeling trapped, pushed himself to his feet and rose from his chair. He ignored the ache that sliced through his abdomen and gritted his teeth. He was about to take his first step toward the doorway when Elrond reached for him and curled his fingers around his wrist, keeping him in place. “Let go of me.”

 

Erestor’s sharp tone didn’t throw Elrond off. “Sit down, Erestor.”

 

Realizing he couldn’t ignore a direct order from the Lord of Imladris, he reluctantly seated himself again. Erestor glared at Elrond, hating the way the half-Elf made him feel; afraid and trapped. “What do you want?”

 

“I want you to listen to me.” Elrond cocked his head, trying to read the expression in his counselor’s dark eyes. /Is he afraid of me?/ His gaze left Erestor’s face and settled on the Elf’s fingers; Erestor’s fingernails were clawing at the wooden armrest. He realized he had to back off or else Erestor would lose the little trust that he did have in him. “I want you to rest once you returned to your chambers. You do not have to join us for dinner if you feel tired and I will visit you to make sure you are not overdoing it.”

 

Erestor’s relieved sigh made Elrond realize he had made the right decision. The counselor needed more time to recover. “Elrohir will walk you to your rooms.” His youngest son had appeared in the doorway, hearing their voices, and Elrond nodded once, signaling for him to approach.

 

Erestor was stunned to see a concerned expression on Elrohir’s face.

 

“Ada, are you sure he is strong enough to leave? Maybe Erestor should stay a little longer?”

 

Elrond smiled warmly at his son. “Unfortunately Erestor is quite eager to leave.”

 

Erestor ignored their conversation and rose to his feet. Slowly, step-by-step, he made his way past Elrond and toward the doorway where Elrohir was waiting for him.

 

Elrohir’s heart went out to his former mentor, seeing the elder Elf’s stiff and hesitant movements. Before he knew it, he had reached out and wrapped an arm around Erestor’s shoulder to keep him from falling. Erestor stiffened further at his touch, but allowed the contact. “I will escort you to your chambers.”

 

Erestor wanted to decline, but one look at Elrohir told him how determined the half-Elf was. He reluctantly gave in and leaned heavily on Elrohir, who tightened his hold.

 

Elrond watched them leave, feeling content after all. Now he only had to wait for Glorfindel to return to the room.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Glorfindel, stop it. You are exhausting yourself!” Elladan sighed, troubled by Glorfindel’s determination to walk without the aid of a crutch. “At least let me help you.”

 

Glorfindel placed a hand against the wall to support him and he made his way down the corridor, occasionally stifling a pain-filled moan. The bruised knee no longer troubled him, but the broken leg continued to throb disturbingly. “I have had enough of being confined to bed. I want to walk again!”

 

Elladan knew reasoning with Glorfindel wouldn’t get him anywhere when the blond was in this sort of mood and he just let him be. “We should return to your room. Ada mentioned earlier that he wanted to talk to you.”

 

Glorfindel nodded slowly, needing his concentration to keep him from falling. “Let us head back then.” Elladan sighed again, dramatically this time, and Glorfindel grinned, knowing he was frustrating the twin.

 

Walking back took several minutes, but in the end, Glorfindel reached his bed and slowly sat down. “Where is Erestor?” Finding the dark-haired Elf gone from the room worried him.

 

“I allowed him to return to his rooms.”

 

“Isn’t it a bit early for that? You should have made him stay longer.”

 

“I could not do that, Glorfindel.” Elrond’s gaze met Elladan’s and he dismissed his son for the moment. Elladan left and Elrond focused on the blond again. “Erestor felt trapped. Forcing him to stay would have agitated him further. Now that he can return to his rooms he will feel safer.”

 

“But I feel hesitant to leave him alone. Erestor will never admit it, but he did enjoy the company whilst he stayed here.”

 

“We will visit regularly until he has recovered enough to return to his duties, which won’t be for another week.”

 

Glorfindel nodded. “Is there anything else you would like to discuss?” Now that Erestor had left, he would do the same and return to his quarters, which were fortunately located close to Erestor’s.

 

“Yes, there is something I want to discuss with you. I received two letters today. One was from Thranduil, and the other was from Eridhren.”

 

“Erestor’s father… What does he say?” Glorfindel, growing curious, leaned in closer.

 

Deep lines, etched onto Elrond’s brow, appeared. “He has no idea why Erestor might be acting strangely. According to Eridhren no one hurt Erestor in the past. It was a very formal letter, devoid of any emotion or interest in his son. It worries me.”

 

“I do not believe him. Something bad happened to Erestor.” His conversation with Elrohir returned to him. “Can it be that Eridhren is the problem? You said that Erestor begged you to not contact his father when he arrived here. It almost seems to me that he was afraid of Eridhren.”

 

“That thought crossed my mind as well,” admitted Elrond, not liking its implications. “A father abusing his son in that way is unheard of.”

 

“But it could have happened,” Glorfindel pointed out to him. “What do you know about Eridhren? And where is Erestor’s mother? Does he have siblings?”

 

“Erestor never mentioned any.” Elrond really didn’t like the sound of this. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that Eridhren was the key to Erestor’s behavior. “In that case I might have bad news.”

 

An ominous feeling swept through Glorfindel at hearing Elrond’s tone. “What is it?”

 

“Thranduil announced a visit to discuss joined border patrols.”

 

Glorfindel’s eyes widened. “That is the first time Thranduil will be visiting Imladris and aye, the timing could not have been worse.” Although he was thrilled to hear Thranduil wanted to join forces against the Orcs and Uruk-Hai, he wasn’t looking forward to the visit. Seeing Elrond’s expression darken, he realized the worst was yet to come.

 

“And Eridhren will be accompanying him. They will arrive in a few days.”

 

“That is most unfortunate. I had hoped we could gather more information first.” Glorfindel leaned back into the pillows and his eyes took on a brooding experience. “Elrond, can it be that Eridhren caused those scars on the back of Erestor’s neck?”

 

Elrond sighed deeply. “I must admit that I thought the same thing. It does make sense when one thinks it over. Erestor fled from his father and came here, seeking refuge, which I granted him. He begged me to not reveal his whereabouts, and—“ Elrond paused, recalling how timid and insecure Erestor had been upon his arrival. “His confidence grew during his stay here. Probably because he was finally away from his father.” It was important that he learned more about Erestor’s family. “I suggest we do not tell Erestor just yet that we are expecting his father to accompany Thranduil. He needs more time to recover.”

 

Glorfindel nodded. “I won’t let him out of my sight.” He slowly rose to his feet, eager to return to his rooms and pay Erestor a visit. “You should make sure Eridhren’s guest rooms are located in the other wing, as far away from Erestor’s rooms as possible.”

 

“What if we are wrong? By Elbereth, I hope we are wrong. What kind of father can hurt his child in such a way?” Elrond shook his head in saddened disbelief.

 

“We will find out,” said Glorfindel reassuringly. He walked, using a crutch to support him, toward the doorway and exchanged another look with Elrond. /But what if we are right and Eridhren abused his son? What do we do then?/

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrohir opened the door to Erestor’s room and stepped aside to let the elder Elf pass. The pallor had returned to the counselor’s face and his hand pressed against his stomach, as if afraid that the wound might reopen again. “Why do you not sit down?” Elrohir pushed a chair closer to the fireplace, where he began to build a fire.

 

Erestor took Elrohir’s advice and slowly sat down on the chair, watching the youngest twin. It was beyond him why Elrohir had begun hugging him again after such a long time. He had stopped displaying his affection when Elrohir had reached his majority.

 

The fire was blazing warmly and Elrohir pulled a chair closer to Erestor’s, whilst his eyes scanned the counselor’s rooms. They were Spartan, bereaved of any luxury, and the furniture consisted of a bed, three chairs, a desk and a cupboard. The walls had been painted brown and grey, only adding to the depressive atmosphere. Erestor’s rooms felt cold and empty. “Are you sure you will be comfortable here?” Suddenly he felt guilty for never visiting Erestor before; this was his first visit ever.

 

“I will be fine,” whispered Erestor, dreamily staring into the flames. Now that he was back in his rooms he felt safer, and involuntarily he began to let down his guard.

 

Elrohir rose to his feet again; seeing the distant expression in Erestor’s eyes told him the elder Elf needed to rest. He came to a halt in front of Erestor, went down on his heels and slowly wrapped his arms around the Elf’s form. Erestor shivered at his touch, but didn’t push him away.

 

“Why do you fear my touch?” Holding Erestor’s gaze prisoner, Elrohir tried to get through to the other Elf. “You have known me since I was a baby. Do you really think I could ever hurt you?”

 

Elrohir wasn’t prepared for the outburst that followed. Suddenly Erestor’s arms locked around him, holding him tightly and soft sobs left the elder Elf’s lips. He felt shocked and pleased at the same time; shocked that such a flood of emotion had been released and pleased because the counselor was no longer hiding from him. Instinctively he began to rock Erestor, making sure he wasn’t putting any pressure on the Elf’s healing injury. “What is wrong, mellon-nîn? You can trust me.”

 

Erestor finally realized what had happened and reined in his emotions. His arms dropped onto the armrest, and he began to freeze again in Elrohir’s embrace. It had never been his intention to return that hug, but he had felt so lonely, so empty, and his emotions had gotten the better of him, urging him to accept the comfort Elrohir offered.

 

Elrohir pulled back and looked at Erestor’s face. The tears had left streaks on the elder Elf’s face and Erestor quickly wiped them away.

 

Lowering his gaze, Erestor stared at the floor. What had possessed him to return Elrohir’s embrace? Now the half-Elf would feel encouraged and never leave him alone! But did he really want to be alone?

 

Elrohir kept one arm folded around Erestor and used one hand to lift the other’s chin, making Erestor look at him. “Why did you pull back? I really enjoyed that hug. It reminded me of the times when you soothed me as a child.”

 

“Returning that embrace was wrong,” whispered Erestor, upset.

 

“Why? Why is it wrong? There is nothing wrong about accepting comfort. I give it freely.” Elrohir’s breath caught when Erestor’s eyes shone with need. The elder Elf devoured his words and hope formed in his dark orbs. “Why don’t we try again?” Elrohir pulled his chair closer, sat down and enfolded the shivering Elf in his arms. “You can hug me back. There is nothing wrong with showing your emotions.”

 

Erestor didn’t dare to breathe, afraid that this warm and magical feeling would disappear again. “But it is wrong.”

 

Elrohir gasped at hearing Erestor’s words. “Why is showing your emotions wrong?” One arm came up behind Erestor’s back and he gently stroked the raven-haired tresses. Erestor’s hair was an even darker color than his.

 

Erestor shook violently, feeling Elrohir’s fingers tangle in his hair. “It is best to hide them.”

 

“Why?” Elrohir knew he was on to something when the sobs began again. “Explain it to me?”

 

“When you hide your feelings, they cannot see how much you are hurting. Knowing that would give them an advantage. No, it is best to hide them.” Feeling entranced by Elrohir’s closeness and warm, he involuntarily rested his head on the half-Elf’s shoulder. It felt good to be held like this and he buried his face in Elrohir’s hair, finally feeling some semblance of peace for the first time in centuries. The sobs faded away.

 

Elrohir’s eyes were also swimming, feeling Erestor finally relax against him. He kept up the soothing strokes to the dark hair and simply held the other Elf close. In the end, Erestor’s breathing calmed, telling Elrohir his charge had fallen asleep. Releasing him reluctantly, he rested Erestor back in the chair and collected a blanket from the bed, tucking it around him.

 

He then sat back to study his former mentor, unwilling to leave. Erestor was in no condition to be left alone and he planned to stay for as long as the hurting Elf needed him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Glorfindel had made his way back to his quarters and now knocked on the door to Erestor’s chambers, hoping the Elf was resting as ordered. He was surprised when the door opened and revealed Elrohir. “How does he fare?” Elrohir signaled for him to enter and Glorfindel complied, slowly moving toward the fire. “He fell asleep on you?”

 

“He cried,” whispered Elrohir, still somewhat shaken. “He held onto me and cried.”

 

Glorfindel swallowed hard, seeing the bafflement in Elrohir’s eyes. “What happened?”

 

“I wanted to comfort him and I folded my arms around him. At first he froze, like he usually does, and he began to ramble about having to hide his feelings because showing them would put him at a disadvantage. I hugged him again and suddenly his arms came up to return the embrace. The loneliness that radiated from his eyes made me cry as well. He broke down and I held him close until he dozed off.”

 

“He will feel embarrassed when he wakes up and remembers that he caved in.” Glorfindel studied the counselor. “But it is a good thing that he did. Apparently he trusts you or he would not have allowed for his vulnerability to show.” He had been inclined to relieve Elrohir, but now he felt it would be best if the twin stayed.

 

They sat down and Glorfindel quickly brought Elrohir up to speed with all newest developments. The young half-Elf paled visibly, hearing about their suspicions. “Do you really think his father is responsible for those scars?”

 

Glorfindel nodded, thoughtfully. “I think so. It certainly looks like Erestor tried to get away from Eridhren.”

 

“And now he is coming here, accompanying Thranduil?” Elrohir’s gaze shifted from the blond to Erestor. “He is very fragile, even if he does not want to admit it. The fact that he began to sob when I held him worries me. Who knows for how long he has bottled up his hurt.”

 

“That is exactly why I want you to stay.” Glorfindel met Elrohir’s gaze. “He trusts you. Erestor has known you since birth and he does not fear you as much as he does Elrond and me.”

 

“Fear Ada and you?” Elrohir’s eyes widened.

 

“You did not see his reaction when Elrond examined him.” Glorfindel studied the sleeping counselor. “I won’t rest until this matter has been resolved.” His gaze settled on Elrohir and he asked, “Will you stay with him? Look after him? Elrond and I will continue to gather more information about Erestor’s family.”

 

“I will watch over him,” promised Elrohir. “But how can we keep him safe and sane when Eridhren visits?” He had a hard time believing Eridhren had mistreated Erestor, but he couldn’t rule it out.

 

“Elrond and I will talk to Eridhren before he will be allowed close to Erestor. If our suspicions prove to be true, Eridhren will never see his son again. Our prime objective is to protect Erestor, and we won’t let him down again.”

 

“What else did Eridhren do to Erestor?” Elrohir’s eyes filled with sadness.

 

Glorfindel frowned; Elrohir’s question puzzled him. “What do you mean?”

 

Elrohir shivered momentarily. “Do you think it possible that Eridhren raised his hand against his son?”

 

Glorfindel drew in a deep breath, wishing Elrohir hadn’t asked him that question, for the thought worried him as well. “It is possible. If those scars really stem from Eridhren’s fingernails, he might have done other things to Erestor as well.”

 

“What do we do now?” At a loss, Elrohir stared at Erestor. Even in his sleep a single tear slid down the elder Elf’s face, and Elrohir instinctively reached out to stroke the long hair. He expected Erestor to flinch away from his touch, but the counselor allowed it.

 

Glorfindel finally found the strength to smile. “See, he trusts you. That is why you have to stay. You might be the only one who can get through to him. Whenever I push him, he shuts down.”

 

Elrohir involuntarily held his breath when Erestor shifted to get closer to him. “You may be right. But I do not know what I am doing, Glorfindel.”

 

Suddenly Glorfindel remembered just how young Elrohir was. Assuming responsibility would place an enormous burned on the half-Elf’s shoulders.

 

“I will watch over him,” said Elrohir determinedly. “But I am afraid I will make mistakes which will only hurt him further.”

 

“You are doing excellently thus far,” said Glorfindel reassuringly, “Just continue to follow your instincts.”

 

“Do you really think so?”

 

Glorfindel nodded. “Do you want me to tell Elladan that you will be staying here?”

 

“Please do. And tell Ada as well.”

 

“Elrond will drop by shortly to check on Erestor.” Glorfindel struggled to his feet. “And remember to call me if you need assistance.”

 

“Thank you,” said Elrohir, smiling. “And I will call for you should I need your help.”

 

Glorfindel slowly made his way back to the doorway. “Take good care of him.”

 

“I will.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Elrohir is currently sitting with Erestor,” said Glorfindel when he joined Elrond and Elladan for dinner. Elrond raised an eyebrow and Glorfindel explained, “Apparently Erestor had some sort of emotional breakdown and allowed Elrohir to comfort him. I felt it best to not separate them at this point.”

 

“An emotional breakdown?” Elrond’s worry increased. “I do not like the sound of this. I will check on Erestor after dinner.”

 

“When will Thranduil and Eridhren arrive?” asked Elladan. His father had told him what they had discovered.

 

“In three days,” replied Elrond. “I did manage to find out one more interesting detail about Erestor’s family.”

 

“And that is?” Glorfindel wished Elrond would hurry up and just tell them.

 

“Erestor’s mother died giving birth to him.” Elrond’s dark voice echoed through the dining hall. “Erestor never knew his mother.”

 

Glorfindel’s thoughts raced. “And Erestor was left in Eridhren’s care. Growing up without his mother must have greatly affected him.”

 

Elladan stared at the food, which remained untouched on his plate. Their words brought back his own pain; he still longed for Celebrian. Suddenly his father’s hand settled on his, gently squeezing it.

 

“She loves you, Elladan. Your mother never stopped loving you and leaving you behind broke her heart.” Celebrian had asked the three of them to sail with her to Valinor, and their hearts had been torn. In the end, none of them had been able to turn their back on Imladris, their home, and Celebrian had sailed for Valinor alone.

 

“I know she does, Ada, but the pain remains.” Elladan blinked in sudden understanding. “Erestor’s pain must have been even worse. At least I know I have my mother’s love.”

 

Saddened, Elrond had to agree with his oldest son. “Erestor lacked a lot of love whilst growing up.” He hoped for Erestor’s sake that his suspicions were wrong and that Eridhren was a loving and caring father. “We will find out shortly.”

 

“And we had better watch Erestor’s reaction when he sees his father again. I do not want to see him hurt again.”

 

“Neither do I,” Elrond assured Glorfindel. “We will watch Eridhren closely and until I am convinced otherwise we assume that he is responsible for Erestor’s pain.”

 

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 7

 

 

After selecting a book from Erestor’s collection, Elrohir sat down, reading quietly whilst Erestor slept.

 

Hearing a tormented groan, he looked up and found that Erestor was struggling with the blankets, trying to throw them off. Elrohir placed the book aside, leaned in closer, and gently pried the blankets from Erestor’s hands. Suddenly the counselor’s eyes opened, and fear stared back at him. Elrohir drew in a deep breath, sensing the other’s panic. “You are in your rooms, mellon-nîn. There is no reason to feel threatened.”

 

Erestor continued to stare at Elrohir, trying to figure out what the twin was doing in his rooms. Suddenly he realized that Elrohir had a hold on his hands, rubbing his skin. His first instinct was to pull back, but he was too tired to move. “Why are you still here?”

 

“I am keeping an eye on you. I am worried, you know.” Elrohir smiled reassuringly. “You would be more comfortable in bed, don’t you think?” He hoped Erestor would take the hint and agree to go back to sleep.

 

Erestor’s gaze traveled from Elrohir to his bed. He couldn’t deny he longed to lie down and return to sleep. He nodded slowly, agreeing to Elrohir’s suggestion.

 

“Let me help you.” Elrohir released Erestor’s hands, but remained close, just in case the elder Elf stumbled. He escorted Erestor to the bed, wrapping one arm around the Elf’s shoulder when the counselor swayed. “Sit down.” They had reached the bed and Erestor allowed Elrohir to help him lie down. “Aren’t those robes uncomfortable? Do you have a sleeping robe? I can help you change into it.”

 

“No, no sleeping robe!” Erestor’s voice shook. “I am fine.”

 

Elrohir sat down on the edge of the bed, covering Erestor with a warm blanket. “I know you do not want to discuss personal matters, but—“ he paused, and the frightened expression in Erestor’s eyes almost made him change his mind, but in the end he continued, “I want to know why you flinch every time I touch you. Are you afraid of me?”

 

Erestor averted his eyes, stared at the ceiling momentarily and then began to roll onto his side, away from Elrohir. But the twin wouldn’t let him and placed a hand on his shoulder, keeping him from moving away. “Please tell me, Erestor.”

 

“I cannot talk about this,” said Erestor in a choked tone. “Do not make me.”

 

Elrohir took pity on the trembling Elf and let Erestor roll away from him. “I was right; there is something that upsets you.”

 

“Let it go.” Erestor’s voice was barely audible. What use was there in dragging up the past? “You do not have to stay. I am sure Elladan is already looking for you.”

 

“He knows I am here, and so do Ada and Glorfindel.”

 

Erestor closed his eyes. Why was everyone so interested in him? He hoped things would quickly settle down and return to normal. At least he could go back to carrying out his duties tomorrow; then the commotion about him would die. “You do not have to stay here,” he repeated, hoping Elrohir would leave him alone.

 

“But I want to stay.” Elrohir, fed up with Erestor’s behavior, walked over to the other side of the bed and sat on his heels so he was level with the elder Elf. He was going to do what Glorfindel had suggested; follow his instincts, and they told him he couldn’t allow this kind of behavior, not if he wanted Erestor to take him seriously. “You cannot lock me out like that. I won’t put up with it.”

 

Erestor’s eyes widened. He must have misheard! “What did you say?”

 

“I won’t allow you to push me away again. I got close to you when I was little, but then you put all this distance between us. I want that old, comfortable feeling back.” Elrohir slowly raised his hand, saw apprehension in Erestor’s eyes, and gently placed his palm on the raven hair, stroking soothingly. “You know you can trust me.”

 

Erestor closed his eyes, enjoying the touch, but he was unable to admit it to Elrohir. “I will go back to sleep now.”

 

“Good.” Elrohir smiled warmly, and waited for Erestor to open his eyes again. When they did, he searched those dark eyes and encountered a fearful apprehension in them.

 

Erestor was doing his best to trust Elrohir, but some of his memories were stronger than his desire to trust and warned him to not take this step. He was setting himself up for more hurt and he should know better than that. “Why won’t you leave me alone, caun-nîn?” 

 

Hearing that term brought back memories and Elrohir swallowed past the lump that had formed in his throat. “You called me that when I was little and upset, crying, because Elladan had gone off without me. I missed hearing it.”

 

Erestor sighed, distressed, realizing he had accomplished the opposite of what he had intended. Now Elrohir was even more determined to stay. He shouldn’t have said a thing!

 

“Why don’t you go to sleep? You had an exhausting day.” The trip from the Healing House to his rooms must have drained Erestor. He kept up the soothing caress to Erestor’s hair, always aware of the scars the long tresses were hiding. “I will stay close so when you wake up you won’t be alone.”

 

Erestor was at a loss for words. Elrohir’s determination was obvious and he gave in, knowing he wouldn’t be able to change the half-Elf’s mind.

 

Elrohir smiled, saddened, seeing the apprehensive expression in Erestor’s eyes. “Go to sleep, and rest.” Erestor’s eyes became vacant and Elrohir sighed, relieved that the elder Elf was asleep again. His breath caught when a sleeping Erestor involuntarily leaned into the caress, rubbing his head against the palm of his hand. Tears formed in Elrohir’s eyes, but he forced them back.

 

He was slowly beginning to understand how Erestor’s mind worked. /You really never knew any love, did you? What was your father like when you were growing up? Did he show you any affection at all?/ It fed his determination to prove to Erestor that he was different; that he wanted to share his feelings with the elder Elf. /Getting through to you will take time, but we have plenty of it./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A soft knock on the door drew Elrohir’s attention and he was about to answer when the door opened, revealing Elrond. “Ada!” He was glad to see his father and hurried toward him.

 

Elrond sensed his son’s emotional turmoil and opened his arms, hugging Elrohir close. “What is wrong?”

 

“Erestor is.” Elrohir pulled back, realizing he needed to explain. “He finally fell asleep, but he cried in my arms. He even called me "caun-nîn", which he has not done for years.”

 

“You are doing very well, Elrohir. You found a way to reach him, but this must be emotionally taxing on you.” Elrond worriedly looked at his son. “I can sit with Erestor if you would like me to.” To his delight, Elrohir shook his head.

 

“No, I want to stay close. I would worry about him otherwise.” Elrohir guided his father to the chair near the fireplace, where they sat down. He told Elrond everything that had happened and waited for his father to address him.

 

“Continue with what you are doing, for it is working. Erestor is finally realizing he cannot push you away that easily, and now he will try even harder, believe me. If we are right and Erestor never had a loving parent, your behavior will puzzle him. He does not know what if feels like to be fussed over.” Elrond’s gaze became soft, looking at his counselor. “I should not have let this continue for so long, but I never knew what to do.”

 

Elrohir leaned in closer and placed his hand on Elrond’s knee. “Ada, you did what you thought was right. And Erestor did not want you to contact his father; there was little you could do.”

 

“I worked on strengthening his self esteem. He was afraid to say a single word when he arrived in Imladris.” Elrond smiled in spite of their problems. “He has come a long way since.”

 

Elrohir returned his father’s smile. “He is your chief counselor now, no easy feat.”

 

“He has gained countless skills since he sought refuge here. Erestor is smart, cunning and devious when he needs to deal with an opponent, but he never allowed his feelings to show. I wish I could help him.” Elrond looked at Elrohir, hope blossoming in his heart. “He always had a soft spot for you.”

 

“Glorfindel is also trying hard to reach Erestor.”

 

“But I fear his mission is doomed to fail. Erestor does not trust him, but he does trust you.” Elrond paused momentarily. “I hope Erestor and Glorfindel can become friends, maybe become as close as brothers. Erestor desperately needs friends.” Elrond rose to his feet again. “Are you sure you do not want me to stay?”

 

“I can manage,” said Elrohir, “And you need to make arrangements for Thranduil and Eridhren’s stay. Unexpectedly, his eyes darkened. “If his father really did hurt Erestor…” He didn’t have to finish his sentence, knowing his father understood.

 

“We will be careful.” Elrond walked toward the doorway and looked over his shoulder at Erestor before stepping into the corridor. The counselor was sound asleep and had curled up on his left side, tightly hugging the blanket. /I really hope Glorfindel and you will get through to him./

 

Elrond closed the door behind him and Elrohir sat down on the edge of Erestor’s bed, caressing the elder Elf’s hair. “Sleep tight, Erestor. I hope Elbereth will grant you pleasant dreams. She knows you deserve them.”

 

He moved back to the chairs, sat down, and rested his feet on the seat of the other chair, stretching comfortably. From his position he had a perfect view of Erestor’s face and he could reach the dark-haired Elf within a heartbeat, if necessary. Dealing with Erestor’s hurt had drained him and he dozed off into sleep.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor tiptoed through his chambers, determined to not wake Elrohir, who was still fast asleep. His sleep had been undisturbed, something that didn’t happen very often. Usually he needed to drink some herbal tea before being able to fall asleep. Waking up, he had quickly located Elrohir, and wondered if the twin’s presence had ensured his peaceful sleep.

 

Moving soundlessly, he had changed into clean robes, had combed his hair, making sure the tresses covered up the scars, and now headed for the doorway. He felt guilty for taking up so much of Elrohir’s time. The half-Elf should be asleep in his bed, not in an uncomfortable chair!

 

His head slumped in defeat, recalling his emotional outburst last night. He had desperately clung to Elrohir, sobbing when his pain had gotten the better of him. /I never wanted him to see me like that!/ Elrohir probably thought he was weak, vulnerable. He could never cave in like that again.

 

Closing the door behind him, he left Elrohir to his dreams and started down the corridor. Involuntarily he pressed his hand against his abdomen, still worried that the wound might reopen, although Elrond had assured him that it had closed and wouldn’t open again; it was a subconscious reflex.

 

He was panting hard when he finally reached Elrond’s study. Pausing momentarily, he leaned against the wall to gather his strength before venturing inside. There was probably a pile of paperwork waiting for him. After regulating his breathing, he opened the door and stepped inside.

 

Elrond and Glorfindel looked up, when the door unexpectedly opened. They expected to see Elladan, but certainly not Erestor. Glorfindel was the first to react, seeing the cold sweat that had formed on Erestor’s brow.

 

“What are you doing here, Erestor?” Glorfindel got to his feet and walked toward the counselor.

 

Erestor absentmindedly noticed that although Glorfindel limped, he no longer needed a crutch to support him.

 

“Erestor, you should be resting!” Elrond now joined them as well, reaching out and placing one hand on Erestor’s shoulder. He grew saddened at feeling tremors course through Erestor’s body, but didn’t remove his hand. “I told you to stay in bed and rest!”

 

“I am doing much better. I can return to my work.” Erestor met Glorfindel’s gaze. It was impossible not to; the blond was standing right in front of him with a concerned look in his eyes.

 

Glorfindel was about to announce that he was going to escort Erestor back to his rooms when the door suddenly opened again.

 

Elrohir stormed inside, wide-eyed and panicking. “Erestor, is he…” His voice faded, seeing Erestor standing in front of Elrond’s desk. “You sneaked out on me!”

 

Erestor cringed, seeing the disappointment in Elrohir’s eyes. “I did not want to wake you. You were finally asleep and—“

 

“You are coming with me, now,” said Elrohir, cutting Erestor short. ”Ada?” He looked to his father for help.

 

“Elrohir is right; you still need to rest. Remember, it was the one condition on which I allowed you to leave the Healing House. You won’t return to work for at least four more days. Now go.”

 

Erestor stared at Elrond in disbelief. “I am no longer wounded! Glorfindel has returned to his duties as well!”

 

“Glorfindel broke a leg; you almost bled to death. There is a distinct difference between the two of them.” Elrond’s voice grew louder, revealing his frustration and the half-Elf was shocked to see the effect it had on Erestor, who seemed to shrink into himself and was backing away from him, stumbling toward the doorway.

 

Erestor accidentally bumped into Glorfindel, who had moved behind him and released a strangled whimper. What was wrong with him? He had never been this emotional before. Somehow he had to reestablish control over his raging emotions!

 

Elrond regretted raising his voice and sighed dejectedly. “Erestor, I apologize. I had no reason to address you in that manner.” Searching Erestor’s eyes, he found that the fear was still there. “But I find it frustrating that you are not cooperating. I am confining you to bed for your own good.”

 

Erestor fought the panic that was building in him; Elrond had never before raised his voice at him! “I will return to my rooms then,” said he in a shaky tone. Unexpectedly, an arm folded itself around his waist, and he instantly moved away.

 

“Erestor?” Elrohir cringed, seeing Erestor move away. “It is me. You can trust me, remember?”

 

Erestor hated himself for showing his emotions like that. Why couldn’t he put them back into those dark corners of his mind and go back to wearing his mask of indifference?

 

“Come with me, Erestor.” Elrohir kept his arm around Erestor’s waist, refusing to give in to the elder Elf’s fear.

 

Erestor allowed himself to be led into the corridor, and, feeling bewildered, he realized that Elrond and Glorfindel were right behind him, following him back to his rooms. His hands began to shake and his teeth chattered, wondering why they were tagging along.

 

Elrohir guided Erestor to the bed and told him to sit down. Erestor’s eyes were distant and Elrohir took hold of his former mentor’s feet, lifting them.

 

Erestor lay down and stared at the ceiling, trying hard to pretend he was alone. Listening to their concerned voices, he wondered why they were this concerned about him. If only they left him alone! Then he would be able to rebuild his old walls and hide behind them.

 

“I will stay with him,” said Elrohir firmly, “He won’t succeed in getting past me unnoticed again!”

 

Elrond and Glorfindel exchanged a look. They had to be more careful in future; when Erestor had entered, they had been discussing Thranduil and Eridhren’s upcoming visit.

 

Erestor tiredly closed his eyes. Why couldn’t they just leave him alone? They had never bothered to find out more about him before! Why start now? Listening to their footsteps, he realized that Elrond and Glorfindel had finally left.

 

“Erestor? Why did you leave? Ada told you to rest. Are you so determined to wreck your health?” Erestor knelt next to Erestor’s bed and resumed stroking the long, loose hair. “Don’t you want to make a complete recovery?”

 

“I am no longer injured. I have healed.”

 

Elrohir’s features contorted, hearing Erestor’s soft, pleading tone. He only recognized it too well; he himself had used that tone when trying to wind his father around his little finger. “Believe my father when he says that you need rest. He is a very accomplished healer. Trust in his judgment.” Erestor’s eyes swam with unshed tears and Elrohir involuntarily held his breath when the elder Elf spoke again.

 

“But I do not want to be alone with my thoughts, or my memories.” Erestor wished he could take those words back. What had possessed him to speak them aloud? But he wanted to trust in Elrohir so badly. All those centuries of loneliness and hurt were taking their toll on him. He didn’t want to be alone any longer.

 

“What thoughts? What memories?” probed Elrohir in a soft tone. “You can entrust them to me. Maybe if you talk about them they will lose their hold on you.”

 

“No, I cannot speak them aloud.” Erestor frantically shook his head. “I cannot share them with anyone.”

 

“Why?”

 

Erestor’s mouth went dry, seeing the pleading expression Elrohir’s eyes. What was it about the half-Elf that made him want to trust him so badly? Maybe it was because of the way Elrohir had looked at him, when the twin had been a baby. Utter trust had shone from those large eyes and they had instantly won him over. “Do not ask me to tell you.”

 

Elrohir moistened his lips, realizing he could scare Erestor away with his next question. So before asking it, he made sure he still had eye contact with the elder Elf and continued to caress the dark strands of hair. “Does it have to do with something that happened in your youth? The time before you came to Imladris? Where did you live? With whom?” Erestor tensed under his touch and he stopped, giving the other Elf time to react.

 

“Why are you asking me those questions? What do you know?” Erestor panicked, struggled into an upright position and shook off Elrohir’s hand.

 

“Please calm down,” whispered Elrohir, who now claimed Erestor’s hand, rubbing the skin. “I am worried about you, and Ada told me how timid and insecure you were when you arrived here. It made me wonder.”

 

“Elrond should not have told you any of that!” Erestor stared at Elrohir’s hand holding onto his. “I do not want to discuss my past.”

 

Elrohir nodded once. “I will not question you any further if you answer me one more question.” He knew he was playing dirty, but all means were allowed whilst getting Erestor to confide in him. Erestor’s big eyes sought out his and he could feel the elder Elf’s hand tremble, cradled in his.

 

“What question?” Erestor’s voice shook violently. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening! How had Elrohir gotten him to answer his questions?

 

Elrohir tenderly rubbed the skin of Erestor’s hand. “Who hurt you so badly that you are unable to trust?”

 

Erestor released a choked whimper. He stared at Elrohir in disbelief. “Why ask me that?”

 

Realizing he had crossed a line, Elrohir said, “Let me rephrase my question. Did someone hurt you in the past? Taking away your ability to trust? All you have to say is yes or no. I do not need any names…” /Yet./” Holding Erestor’s gaze prisoner with his own, he looked pleadingly at the Noldorin Elf. “Just tell me.”

 

Erestor wasn’t sure if he could lie to Elrohir. The younger Elf seemed truly concerned and was still holding his hand. Elrohir’s eyes never strayed from his, giving him the strength he needed to face the horrible truth. “Yes,” he admitted in a pained tone. “But please do not ask me any more questions.”

 

Elrohir nodded in understanding. “Thank you for telling me. You confirmed something we already suspected.”

 

“We?” Erestor started, alarmed.

 

“Ada, Glorfindel and I. Even Elladan realizes something is wrong.” Elrohir frowned. “I am surprised he has not shown up here yet.” But he was grateful for that; he wasn’t sure if Erestor would welcome another guardian.

 

“Why are all of you so… worried?” Erestor actually had to search for the right word.

 

“Because we care about you.” Elrohir realized that concept might be alien to Erestor, if Eridhren had mistreated his son in the past and Erestor had grown up without a mother to support and love him. It was time to take away the pressure and change their subject. “Are you tired?”

 

Erestor nodded reluctantly. The trip to Elrond’s study had tired him.

 

“Then try to rest.” Elrohir wanted to get to his feet, but realized that Erestor had a tight hold on his hand, refusing to let go. “Everything will be fine in the end,” promised he softly, “Just put your trust in us.”

 

“In Elrond, Glorfindel, Elladan and you?” Erestor’s eyes radiated hope.

 

Elrohir smiled warmly. “Sounds like an interesting family to be part of, does it not?” Elrohir was unprepared for Erestor’s emotional reaction.

 

Tears flowed down Erestor’s face and he pushed himself into a sitting position, staring hopefully at Elrohir. “Did you mean that?”

 

 

“Aiya, Erestor, you never were part of a real family before?” Elrohir, realizing this was Erestor’s way of reaching out, buried the elder Elf in a hug. “Then it starts now.”

 

Erestor clung to Elrohir whilst weeping softly, allowing the younger Elf to soothe him. It was what he had always wanted; a caring family. Had he really achieved the impossible?

 

Elrohir mumbled softly, reassuring Erestor that they cared about him. His worry increased; it almost seemed like Erestor was becoming increasingly emotional. /But of course. I broke down his defenses and he feels helpless now. The mask of indifference is gone and out of his reach./

 

“Rest now, and sleep.” He lowered Erestor onto the bed, allowing the elder Elf to continue to hold his hand. After pulling up a chair, he settled down and whispered, “I will remain close.”

 

Erestor’s eyes spoke of eternal gratitude before turning vacant and once the counselor was asleep, Elrohir released his own tears, which he had been holding back.

 

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 8

 

 

Glorfindel opened the door and peeked inside. Elrohir was sitting next to the bed, holding Erestor’s hand, who was still asleep. He wished he didn’t have to disturb the peaceful scene, but Erestor needed to know that Eridhren would arrive tomorrow, accompanying Thranduil. Elrond and he had discussed how to break the news to Erestor, and they had decided Glorfindel would handle matters. Should the blond fail, or need Elrond’s assistance after all, he would take Erestor to the half-Elf’s study where the three of them would talk.

 

“Elrohir?” Glorfindel entered, closed the door behind him, and tiptoed over to the young half-Elf who was rising to his feet to meet him. Elrohir looked drained, which worried him. “How does Erestor fare?” His gaze shifted to the sleeping Elf, relieved to find the handsome features relaxed.

 

“He admitted that someone has hurt him in the past, but he refused to give me a name,” said Elrohir, tiredly rubbing his temples. He needed some time to take a bath, sleep and recharge.

 

Glorfindel’s expression darkened at hearing one of his worst fears confirmed. Forcing himself to focus on Elrohir, he said, "You look tired.”

 

“I feel tired,” confirmed Elrohir. “I am glad I stayed with him, but making him talk is draining me.”

 

“Why don’t you return to your rooms and rest? I am sure Elladan misses your company.”

 

“I cannot do that.” Elrohir looked worriedly at Erestor. “I cannot leave him alone right now.”

 

“I will stay with him,” said Glorfindel reassuringly. “I will watch him closely and make sure no harm comes to him. I need to talk to him anyway. Erestor still does not know his father will arrive tomorrow.”

 

Elrohir moistened his lips, feeling nervous. “That news might upset Erestor. I have the feeling that his father did not treat him kindly.” Elrohir yawned, and he quickly covered his mouth with his hand.

 

“You need rest. Go now and know that Erestor is in the best hands.” Glorfindel wrapped an arm around Elrohir’s shoulder and guided him toward the doorway. “Take your time to rest. I will stay with Erestor, so do not worry about him.”

 

Elrohir nodded, giving Glorfindel a thankful look. “I will check on him later.”

 

Glorfindel opened the door and stepped aside to let Elrohir pass. “Elladan is probably already eagerly awaiting your return to your rooms.”

 

Elrohir, fatigued, nodded again and headed for his rooms. After Glorfindel closed the door behind the twin, he headed back to the bed and sat down on the chair that Elrohir had just vacated. He took a moment to study the dark-haired Elf. Traces of tears still lingered on Erestor’s face, and a fiercely protective feeling blossomed in his heart. /I will keep you safe, mellon-nîn./ 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrohir opened the door to the rooms, which he shared with his brother, and immediately headed for his bed. Collapsing tiredly, he dropped face forward onto it.

 

“It looks like Erestor gave you a hard time.”

 

Elrohir lifted his head and looked at Elladan, who lay comfortably on his bed. “Brother, you have no idea…” His voice faded as he buried his face in the mattress.

 

Elladan left his bed and sat down next to his brother. “You are tired. You should sleep.”

 

“Believe me, I am planning to sleep.” Elrohir suddenly felt his brother’s hands on him, removing his outer robes. He allowed Elladan to manhandle him until the robes were gone, and then sighed contently as his twin covered him with warm blankets. At times like these he was glad he had a brother who cared this greatly about him. “Thank you, Elladan,” he whispered, voice slightly slurred due to impending sleep.

 

Elladan smiled, tucked him in, and placed a brotherly kiss on Elrohir’s hair. “Sleep, then.” Elrohir’s contented moan made him smile and Elladan returned to his own bed. He settled down with a book, occasionally looking at Elrohir to make sure his twin was peacefully asleep. His thoughts drifted away from Elrohir and to Erestor. He hoped he would get the chance to befriend the elder Elf as well.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Glorfindel felt content watching Erestor, studying all lines that were etched onto the Elf’s brow, which now showed in sleep. He felt worried; how was he going to tell Erestor that Eridhren was about to arrive?

 

Erestor’s eyes regained their sparkle and slowly focused on him. Glorfindel smiled, leaned in closer, and said, “I hope you slept well.”

 

Erestor blinked a few times and then pushed himself onto his elbows, staring at Glorfindel. “Where is Elrohir? Why are you here?” His eyes searched his rooms, but failed to locate the younger twin. In the end, his gaze settled questioningly on Glorfindel.

 

“I sent Elrohir to his rooms to sleep.” A stunning smile flashed across his features, directed at Erestor. “You must be going mad, being confined to your rooms.”

 

Erestor frowned. He had expected more questions, but Glorfindel’s mood seemed chipper and pleasant, which suited him. He was getting weary of all questions being thrown at him. “That is why I wanted to return to my duties.”

 

Glorfindel grinned, bemused. “We could disobey Elrond’s orders and just leave.”

 

Erestor, totally baffled at hearing Glorfindel’s suggestion, stared wide-eyed at the blond. “You want to defy him?” He vividly remembered Elrond raising his voice earlier. “I was under the distinct impression that you wanted me to stay in my rooms as well.”

 

“Maybe I changed my mind?” Before coming to Erestor’s rooms he had decided on a more relaxed approach, wanting to reassure Erestor he was safe with him. If Erestor felt cornered, the Noldorin Elf would never confide in him.

 

Glorfindel raised his hand and hoped Erestor would take it. “We could go for a walk in the gardens. The night is dark, and without a moon to light its surface. Elrond won’t notice our presence in the gardens.”

 

Erestor stared at the offered limb. Glorfindel had offered him a truce before— maybe it was Elrohir’s influence on him, but he found himself reaching out and curling his fingers around the blond’s. Glorfindel’s smile was dazzling, and Erestor smiled weakly, surprised that he had the power to put that smile on Glorfindel’s face.

 

He truly appreciated the fact that Glorfindel wasn’t firing more questions at him and letting him set the pace. As the blond rose from his chair, Erestor got to his feet as well, blushing slightly because Glorfindel was still holding his hand. A strange feeling coursed through him, making him light-headed. Elrohir’s company and reassurance had taken away some of his fears and he felt like trusting the blond. Glorfindel was an honorable warrior and was now making a serious effort to be a friend. He could almost hear Elrohir’s voice in the back of his head; /Why would you not trust him? Give yourself a chance to build this friendship./

 

Glorfindel, seeing the distant expression in Erestor’s dark eyes, waited patiently for the dark-haired counselor to move. What was Erestor thinking?

 

Erestor shook himself from his musings and hesitantly made eye contact with Glorfindel. He had no idea why the blond wanted to be his friend, but for the first time since his arrival at Imladris as an Elfling, he felt like trusting someone. “Do you really want to go to the gardens?” The thought of sneaking out of his rooms appealed to him.

 

“Let us go.” Glorfindel curled his fingers tightly around Erestor’s and pulled him with him when he headed for the doorway. “But we should move silently.”

 

Erestor shook his head. Glorfindel was acting like an Elfling, sneaking out on his parents -- and the blond’s playful mood was catching!

 

Glorfindel’s breath caught, seeing one of Erestor’s rare smiles surface on the other Elf’s face. /He looks younger when he smiles. It chases away the lines of worry etched on his brow./ “Come with me, mellon-nîn. It is a beautiful night and it would be a waste to stay inside.”

 

Erestor gathered his robes around him and allowed Glorfindel to pull him along. The blond mystified him. Only a few weeks ago Glorfindel had avoided his company! /And I did my best to keep him at a distance. When did my walls tumble down?/ Elrohir had a lot to do with that; the younger half-Elf had shown him he was still capable of showing his emotions.

 

They finally stepped outside, under a dark, but star-speckled sky. Erestor drew in a deep breath, feeling free now that he was in the open. Glorfindel continued to pull him along, and the blond guided him to one of Celebrian’s gardens. The she-Elf had planted a sea of flowers here during her stay in Imladris, and they still blossomed each year, filling the air with heavy, sweet fragrances. Did Glorfindel know he came here in the past? Was that why the blond had taken him here?

 

Glorfindel suddenly stopped walking, sat down, and then lay flat on his back, watching the stars. Erestor nervously looked about, wondering what he was supposed to do now.

 

“Mellon-nîn, join me and watch the stars tonight.” Glorfindel looked at the dark-haired Elf with obvious hope in his eyes. He patted the earth next to him and hoped Erestor would lie down as well.

 

Erestor wavered momentarily, but then slowly lay down, joining Glorfindel in the reverie of the stars. He had to admit it was a stunning sight. The stars sparkled brightly and made him smile in appreciation.

 

“It is a beautiful night,” whispered Glorfindel, now cocking his head to look at Erestor. He saw an admiring expression in the other Elf’s eyes and smiled. “When was the last time you took the time to look at the stars?”

 

Erestor suddenly felt nervous. “I never did.”

 

Glorfindel gave him a look filled with disbelief. “Never?”

 

“Never.” Erestor grew aware of the earth and grass beneath him. Trees whispered an ancient melody and even the stars seemed to sing their own song. Tears gathered in his eyes; had he ever felt this peaceful before?

 

“Erestor? Are you crying?” Glorfindel rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow to look at Erestor.

 

“You are correct,” said Erestor in an emotional tone, “the night is beautiful.”

 

/And you are beautiful, in your sorrow and pain— but I want them gone from your soul. You should be happy and at peace instead./ Glorfindel’s mood darkened, recalling why he had brought Erestor here. /I cannot tell him Eridhren will arrive tomorrow. This is not the right time./ He would take Elrond up on his offer and they would inform Erestor together. “It is amazing,” started Glorfindel tentatively, “we lived here for centuries and I cannot remember us having a serious and polite conversation before.”

 

“I apologize for my sharp tongue,” said Erestor ruefully. “It was directed at you too often for no apparent reason.”

 

Glorfindel decided against asking more questions. It would be best if Erestor turned to him willingly instead of being forced to answer questions which he dreaded. “Elrohir is rather worried about you.”

 

“I never thought he would be that concerned.” Erestor’s fingers moved through the grass, enjoying the sensation. “I never expected it.”

 

Glorfindel chose his next words carefully. “All four of us care for you, Erestor.”

 

“I did not make things easy on you.” Erestor was surprised at the mellow tone of their conversation. He actually liked talking to Glorfindel! “I will try to be more… approachable.”

 

Glorfindel realized how much courage it had taken for Erestor to make that particular step, and looked into the dark eyes, which seemed a little less haunted. “Maybe Elrond will get his wish anyway, and we will become good friends. I would really like that.”

 

Erestor blushed slightly. He couldn’t believe that he was about to make this admission. “I never had a friend.”

 

Glorfindel’s heart contracted with sorrow; he had almost expected Erestor to say something like that, but actually hearing it hurt him even deeper. /He has been in Imladris for so long and I never realized how lonely he was./ He was determined to make up for his past mistakes. “Elrond asked me to pay him a visit tonight. Would you like to come as well?”

 

Erestor averted his eyes and stared at the stars. Why would Glorfindel invite him to come along? He knew that the two Elves like to spend the evening in each other’s company, and he had never been invited before. “Are you sure you want me there? That Elrond wants me there?”

 

The tone of Erestor’s voice almost moved Glorfindel to tears, hearing the loneliness and disbelief in it. He wished that there were no ulterior reason to ask Erestor to join them. It was a shame that Erestor’s sharp tongue had kept them from becoming friends. If only he had seen beneath Erestor’s mask!

 

Glorfindel got to his feet, stretched, and extended his hand to Erestor, encouraging him to rise as well. “I am sure Elrond has saved a good wine for tonight. It would be a shame to let him drink it alone.”

 

Tentatively, Erestor began to push himself to his feet, careful to not put any pressure on his abdomen, which still felt tender. He recalled the last time Glorfindel had reached out to him, offering his hand for support. Back then, he had flinched away from it, but now he felt confident enough to lightly put his hand in Glorfindel’s.

 

Stunned, but extremely pleased that Erestor was reaching out as well, Glorfindel slowly pulled Erestor to his feet. He reluctantly let go of the offered limb, smiling warmly.

 

Erestor, feeling uncertain, returned the smile. Glorfindel’s smile confused him.

 

Slowly, still enjoying the peace and quiet of the gardens at midnight, they made their way back into the house and headed for Elrond’s study, where a number of scented candles created a warm and comfortable atmosphere. Glorfindel greeted Elrond and entered, but Erestor remained standing in the doorway, not certain Elrond really wanted his company -- not after the half-Elf had raised his voice at him earlier.

 

Elrond looked up from the book he was reading and placed his glass, filled with sweet wine, on his desk. Although Glorfindel had offered to tell Erestor about the upcoming visit, he had suspected that the blond wouldn’t be able to follow through and would seek him out instead. “Glorfindel, Erestor.” Elrond raised a hand and signaled for them to sit down in the chairs opposite his desk. After getting to his feet, he gathered two more glasses and poured his guests wine as well. “Drink; it is one of the best wines Arda has to offer.”

 

Erestor wasn’t sure why he was growing alarmed. Elrond and Glorfindel’s gazes met and he thought he saw some silent communication take place. Glorfindel had brought him here for a reason. He refrained from taking another sip of the potent wine, preferring to stay clear-headed.

 

Elrond saw the insecure expression in Erestor’s eyes and sighed, feeling the need to apologize again. “I never meant to raise my voice earlier, Erestor. I was merely worried.”

 

Erestor swallowed hard, not expecting another apology. “Do not worry about it.” Elrond’s gaze seemed concerned and Erestor averted his eyes, staring at his wine instead. Why had Glorfindel brought him here? Elrond’s gaze told him that the half-Elf had some unwelcome news for him. What was it?

 

“Are you feeling better now? Is your wound still troubling you?” Elrond wanted to reassure Erestor before delivering the bad news.

 

“I hardly notice it any longer.”

 

Erestor’s clipped tone alarmed Glorfindel and Elrond. Apparently Erestor had figured out why he was here.

 

“I have news for you,” said Elrond, tentatively, uncertain how Erestor would react. “Thranduil is visiting Imladris and will arrive tomorrow.”

 

Gooseflesh formed on Erestor’s skin. “Thranduil?” He hoped Thranduil was traveling without his advisors, but the odds seemed small. “You could have told me earlier. Now I have to hurry to make all of the arrangements.”

 

“Everything has been taken care of,” said Elrond in a concerned tone.

 

/Have I truly become useless and redundant then?/ The thought saddened Erestor. He had worked hard to become Elrond’s right hand man, and now someone else was carrying out his duties!

 

Elrond sipped his wine, waited for Erestor to look at him, and then said, “Thranduil won’t be traveling alone. Your father, Eridhren, is accompanying him.” Elrond’s eyes widened slightly at the pallor that spread across Erestor’s face in mere seconds. The Noldorin Elf’s fingers tightly clasped the armrest, and it almost seemed like Erestor’s breathing had stopped momentarily. Exchanging a look with Glorfindel, he saw concern reflected in the sapphire eyes.

 

Erestor stared at the wall, trying to deal with this new information. His father was coming to Imladris. His worst nightmare had finally come true. He had been fortunate that Eridhren had stayed away for so long. “I will be there to welcome my father, then.”

 

Glorfindel cringed. The sparkle that had shone in Erestor’s eyes when they had lain beneath the starlit sky was gone now. The eyes were dead and their expression dark. If he’d had any doubts about Eridhren being the one who had hurt Erestor in the past, they ceased to exist right now. He raised his hand, and went to rest it on Erestor’s arm in an attempt to reassure him, but Erestor pulled back.

 

Elrond, growing increasingly worried at Erestor’s panic, leaned in closer and tried to catch the Elf’s gaze. “Erestor? Is something wrong?” He wanted to reach out like Glorfindel had, but Erestor quickly rose to his feet and headed for the doorway.

 

“I feel tired and will retire now. I am sure you will spend your evening more pleasantly without me.” Erestor inclined his head in goodbye and then dashed into the corridor, not giving them a chance to react.

 

“That went well,” stated Elrond sarcastically. “Maybe I could have handled it better.”

 

“You tried,” said Glorfindel, sighing. He was still staring at the door, trying to make up his mind. “Should I go after him?”

 

Elrond shook his head. “Give Erestor time to realize that his father will arrive tomorrow. Finding out was a shock to him and he would only push you away right now. He needs to calm down first.” Elrond made eye contact with the blond. “I feel certain that Eridhren is the one who hurt Erestor in the past. It makes perfect sense. He came here to escape his father and that is why I was never allowed to contact him. By Elbereth, why did I send Eridhren that letter? I should have stayed quiet instead!”

 

“Do not blame yourself, mellon-nîn,” said Glorfindel reassuringly. “You did what you thought was best. We should concentrate on the upcoming visit instead.”

 

“I will deal with Thranduil,” said Elrond in a thoughtful tone. “I am counting on you and the twins to constantly keep an eye on Erestor. Never leave him alone with Eridhren. I want someone present at all times.”

 

Glorfindel nodded. “I feel the same way.” He briefly closed his eyes. “The mask slipped into place again once he learned his father was about to arrive. Only a few moments earlier he was smiling and trying to trust me for the first time in his life. He actually let me touch him.”

 

“Do not give up now.” Elrond sipped his wine again and gazed at the Elda. “Elrohir and you are finally getting through to him, and Eridhren’s visit is most unsettling. Erestor will never admit it, but he needs you most now.”

 

Glorfindel’s expression became very determined. “I will check on him before going to bed. I need to know he is coping with this situation.”

 

Elrond nodded once. “Try your best. Maybe he will allow you to comfort him. I will talk to Elrohir and Elladan in the meantime. They should know what we are facing.”

 

Glorfindel placed his still-full glass on Elrond’s desk and rose to his feet. “I will give Erestor a few more minutes and then I will check on him.”

 

“You are worried for a good reason, and so am I,” said Elrond. “Do not hesitate to call me should Erestor experience another emotional breakdown.” Elrond was determined to keep Eridhren as far away as possible from Erestor, but he also planned to question the Elf in detail.

 

“Thank you, Elrond.” Glorfindel drew in a deep breath and left Elrond’s study. He headed for Erestor’s rooms, hoping the hurt Elf would allow him to comfort him.

 

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 9

 

 

Erestor, who was panting hard, rested his hands and forehead against the cool brick wall. He was back in the safety of his rooms and could finally let go of his raging emotions. Tears dripped down his face and he slowly sank down onto his knees, hugging his waist in an effort to feel someone’s comforting arms around him. But the illusion never worked and again he was alone: he always was.

 

Angrily he wiped away his tears. He would not cave in now. Millennia ago he had managed to escape his father’s reign of terror, and he could do it again. He needed to stay calm and controlled, and then he could find a way to deal with Eridhren.

 

A knock on the door made his head snap back up and he stared, wary-eyed, at the doorway. Eridhren wasn’t here already, was he? Elrond had said Thranduil and Eridhren would arrive tomorrow! Then who was knocking on his door?

 

“Erestor? Can I come inside? I really want to talk to you.”

 

Glorfindel? Erestor frowned. Why had the blond followed him back to his rooms? He composed himself, wiped away all remaining tears, and slowly rose to his feet, straightening out his robes. Would he get away with sending Glorfindel back to Elrond’s study? Surely the Elda wouldn’t insist that they talked? “I am very tired and was about to go to sleep. Can we talk in the morning?”

 

“I would rather do this now. Erestor? Would you open the door?” Glorfindel was growing increasingly nervous now that Erestor wasn’t complying. “You seemed very upset when you left and maybe you need a listening ear? You can always talk to me.”

 

A lump of emotions formed in Erestor’s throat; no one had ever offered to listen before and he didn’t know how to react. He swallowed hard and wrung his hands. “I am not sure—“ Words eluded him. He didn’t want Glorfindel to see him this vulnerable. “Tomorrow?”

 

“Now.”

 

Glorfindel’s determined tone compelled Erestor to walk toward the doorway. He pushed down the door handle and slowly opened the door.

 

Glorfindel’s breath caught, seeing Erestor’s pallor and swimming dark eyes. “Thank you.”

 

Erestor averted his eyes and stepped aside to let the blond enter. After closing the door again, he remained standing near the doorway; why had he opened the door in the first place? Now he had to deal with Glorfindel as well as his out-of-control feelings. Fear and panic clawed at him whenever he thought about Eridhren’s upcoming visit.

 

Glorfindel came to a halt in front of the window and turned around to make eye contact with the dark-haired Elf. “You are still upset.”

 

Erestor determinedly shook his head. “You have a very vivid imagination. I have no idea what you are talking about.” Feeling defensive, he crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared at the blond.

 

Glorfindel considered his next move. He didn’t want Erestor to feel trapped or pressured; questioning the Elf was the wrong thing to do. He seated himself next to the fireplace and addressed Erestor again. “I am not here to question you, when you are already obviously upset. I am here to offer my support. Maybe having some company will help you to calm down. Loneliness can do awful things to someone.”

 

Gooseflesh formed all over Erestor’s body. He had been lonely his entire life and now Glorfindel had showed up, wanting to keep him company? His heart suddenly missed a beat; had he been so transparent that Glorfindel had figured out something was wrong? And maybe even –what- was wrong? Getting wobbly on his feet, he quickly sat down as well, closing his eyes and drawing in a deep breath.

 

Glorfindel respected Erestor’s silence and did not pressure the Noldorin Elf. Occasionally, when the fire threatened to die, he threw on new wood. They sat in silence and Glorfindel intercepted most of Erestor’s probing looks. /He is probably wondering why I am still here when he is not talking./

 

As the night progressed, Erestor’s eyes occasionally grew vacant when sleep overwhelmed him, but he always startled awake again and his first glance was for Glorfindel, making sure the blond was still there. Glorfindel interpreted that as Erestor’s mute plea to stay with him during the night.

 

Erestor was fast asleep when the first rays of the sun bathed the two of them in warm light. Glorfindel was still awake, watching Erestor closely. Thranduil and Eridhren would arrive in a few hours and he feared Erestor’s reaction to seeing his father. /I won’t leave him alone. I will be his personal guard and make sure that he is safe at all time./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Erestor woke, it was because Glorfindel was moving about in his rooms. The blond had just left the bathroom and was now heading back to his chair. Realizing Glorfindel had stayed the entire night, Erestor wondered why. He had expected the Elda to leave when he had fallen asleep.

 

Glorfindel smiled warmly seeing Erestor awake. “Good morning. Thranduil will arrive within the hour and I assume you want to change your robes first?”

 

Erestor’s stomach contracted nervously, recalling Eridhren was accompanying Thranduil. Within the hour he would face his worst nightmare. “You are right. I should change my clothing.”

 

Erestor’s voice shook and Glorfindel immediately grew alarmed. “I need to change into my formal robes as well, but I could join you again later. We could greet Thranduil and Eridhren together.” He hoped Erestor accepted his offer, for then the Noldorin Elf wouldn’t have to face his father alone.

 

Erestor nodded slowly. He didn’t know how Glorfindel had figured out that Eridhren was the problem, but he was relieved the blond had. “I will come to your rooms then?”

 

Glorfindel smiled again. “I will wait for you.” Reluctantly he headed for the doorway, wishing he could stay with Erestor.

 

Erestor waited until Glorfindel had closed the door behind him and then released a strangled gasp. How was he going to survive the next hour? Could he face his nemesis without caving in? How would he react when being confronted with Eridhren? He hoped he wouldn’t embarrass Elrond, who would certainly want to introduce his chief counselor to Thranduil.

 

His hands shook whilst changing into velvet brown robes and brushing his hair. His fingertips involuntarily probed the back of his neck, still able to feel the scars his father’s fingernails had left behind so long ago. They were an ever-present reminder of his horrid past. He had hoped he would never see his father again, but now the dreaded moment had arrived after all.

 

After looking once more in the mirror, he draped a black cloak across his shoulders, pulling it tightly around his form. The shivers that shook his body weren’t due to the cold, but fear. Was there really no way out? No, Elrond expected him to be present. Slowly, he made his way to Glorfindel’s rooms, where he knocked softly.

 

“Enter!”

 

Erestor opened the door and hovered near the doorway, hesitant to enter Glorfindel’s rooms. He had never been here before and didn’t want to intrude on the Elda’s privacy.

 

Glorfindel’s rooms greatly differed from his. They were spacious and luxurious, and breathed a warm and comforting atmosphere. The blond had just finished braiding his hair and was now heading toward him. A golden light engulfed the blond Elda, and the sight took Erestor’s breath away.

 

“Are you ready?” Glorfindel wondered about the stunned, almost admiring expression in Erestor’s eyes and smiled reassuringly. Reaching out, he slowly rested his hand in the small of Erestor’s back. He expected the dark-haired Elf to flinch and move away from his touch, but Erestor accepted it, whilst sending a puzzled look in his direction. Glorfindel answered the mute inquiry with a silent smile.

 

“We should go now,” said Glorfindel after a long moment in which they exchanged probing looks. His hand remained in the small of Erestor’s back, and he was pleased when the counselor didn’t move away. Maybe Erestor was finally beginning to trust him? He hoped so!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Keep in mind that at least one of us stays close to Erestor whilst Eridhren is staying in Imladris.” Elrond waited for his sons to nod and then continued. “I will escort Thranduil to his rooms and, Elrohir, you will take Eridhren to his. I do not want Erestor anywhere near his father until we know what is really going on.”

 

“And Glorfindel?” Elrohir was surprised that his father wanted him to escort Eridhren.

 

“I want Glorfindel close to Erestor.” Elrond moistened his lips, seeing his sons’ puzzled expressions. “Erestor is beginning to trust him and I want to encourage their growing friendship.” Elrond straightened out his robes and his eyes became worried, seeing the tension on Erestor’s face when his chief advisor approached. Glorfindel’s expression was determined and Elrond knew he could count on the Elda to keep Erestor safe. That was one thing less to worry about.

 

Erestor forced himself to make eye contact with Elrond. After the half-Elf had nodded, he looked at Elrohir, who smiled at him. He weakly returned that smile. Hiding his hands in the sleeves of his robes, he tried to keep them from moving about. He shivered at the prospect of having to guide Eridhren to his guest rooms. The last thing he wanted was to be alone with him.

 

Elrond, sensing Erestor’s apparent discomfort, said, “I will escort Thranduil to his rooms and Elrohir will see to Eridhren. I want you and Glorfindel to make sure everything is prepared for lunch.”

 

Feeling nervous, Erestor wondered just how much Elrond had figured out now that the half-Elf wasn’t letting him attend to his father as a son normally would. He wasn’t sure how he felt about them knowing something was wrong. They were definitely trying to keep him away from Eridhren, for which he felt thankful. Noise coming from the courtyard attracted his attention, and, looking over his shoulder, he froze, seeing Eridhren riding next to Thranduil.

 

Glorfindel followed the direction of Erestor’s shocked stare and for the first time in his life he laid eyes on Eridhren. Eridhren had long, braided, dark hair, much like Erestor, a pale complexion, and the coldest eyes he had ever seen. The icy grey orbs made him shiver. /And this is Erestor’s father?/ His gaze shifted to Erestor and he found that the counselor had seemingly stopped breathing. Cold sweat formed on Erestor’s brow and his eyes had widened. His hand still rested in the small of Erestor’s back and he reassuringly rubbed his friend’s back, receiving a startled look from Erestor in return. “You are not alone,” he whispered softly, trying to reassure the upset Elf.

 

Elrond had also noticed Erestor’s reaction and moved until he stood in front of his counselor, obscuring him from Eridhren’s view. Forcing himself to concentrate on Thranduil, he addressed the Elf. “Welcome to Imladris. I hope your stay will be pleasant and that our conversations will lead to better organized border patrols.”

 

Thranduil inclined his head in approval and dismounted. “Elrond, I came here because Orcs and Uruk-Hai are threatening our borders and I too hope we will reach some agreement.” His eyes traveled from Elrond to the twins. The resemblance was incredible; they had really taken after their father instead of Celebrian. “Elrohir, Elladan…” he said in greeting.

 

Elrohir raised an eyebrow in surprise at the fact that Thranduil knew their names, let alone that he would acknowledge them. Elbowing Elladan in the stomach, he made sure his brother followed his example to bow slightly. “My lord Thranduil,” said Elrohir, trying to figure out how to read the other.

 

Elrond managed to hide his surprise at Thranduil’s mellow mood and risked a weak smile, aimed at the other Elf, who had been one of his best friends in the past, until… Elrond forced himself to stop thinking along those lines. It was not the time to discuss Oropher and Gil-galad’s deaths. He quickly changed his plans, embracing this opportunity to learn more about Eridhren, who hadn’t said a single word and was blatantly ignoring Erestor. “My sons will show you to your quarters, Thranduil.”

 

Elladan and Elrohir looked at each other in surprise. Weren’t they supposed to escort Eridhren? But they quickly adjusted to the situation and Elrohir signaled for Thranduil to follow them. “The journey must have tired you.”

 

Thranduil nodded once. “It was a long journey.” Following the twins, he looked over his shoulder at Elrond. After releasing a deep sigh, filled with regret, he concentrated on the twins again, trying hard to not look at Erestor. He didn’t want to draw any attention to the shaking Elf.

 

Eridhren had dismounted as well and stood now waiting silently to be shown to his quarters. “Let me show you to your rooms,” said Elrond, beckoning Eridhren to follow him.

 

Glorfindel intercepted one cold glare that Eridhren directed at Erestor and pulled his friend closer, trying to protect him from the menacing stare. “Stay with me,” he whispered into Erestor’s ear. The counselor nodded shakily.

 

Elrond waited for Eridhren to follow and then guided his guest to his rooms. Eridhren remained quiet and the half-Elf’s curiosity was piqued. What kind of father did not react to seeing his son for the first time in such a long time? He would be overjoyed to be reunited with Elladan and Elrohir! “I trust the rooms will be to your liking. If not, please let me know.”

 

Eridhren didn’t reply and shivers ran down Elrond’s spine, feeling the other’s eyes pierce his back. His instincts warned him to remain very cautious around Eridhren. “Lunch will be served in one hour. A servant will escort you to the dining hall. Our talks will start tomorrow morning, after Thranduil and you rested.”

 

Eridhren nodded and Elrond quickly excused himself. Just being near the Elf felt suffocating and he wondered how Thranduil managed to endure Eridhren’s presence. But then again, maybe the Elf wasn’t aware of Eridhren’s true nature. He drew in a deep breath and composed himself. Eridhren’s presence was unsettling. /And Erestor was exposed to this for… for how many years?/

 

Elrond started down the corridor, eager to check on Erestor. From this moment on, he wanted someone close to Erestor at all times.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor slowly became aware of Glorfindel rubbing his back. Now that Eridhren was gone, he released the breath he had involuntarily been holding and looked at the blond. How was it possible that he hadn’t avoided the touch and instead leaned into it? How had Glorfindel managed to get through his defenses?

 

Glorfindel began to guide Erestor to Elrond’s study, wanting to get him away from the rest of Thranduil’s party. After steering Erestor to one of the chairs, he said, “Sit down, mellon-nîn.” He walked over to cabinet where Elrond kept his wine and poured Erestor a small amount. “Drink this.” Hopefully the wine would calm Erestor’s nerves.

 

Erestor’s shaky fingers curled around the glass and he downed it in one go, surprising Glorfindel. The Elda finally realized just how shaken up Erestor really was; usually the Noldorin Elf only sipped cautiously. He seated himself next to Erestor and cleared his throat. “Will you tell me why you are this upset?”

 

Erestor’s hand shook whilst holding the glass and Glorfindel reacted quickly, catching it when Erestor’s fingers lost their grip on it. “I have got it.” He placed the glass on the floor and slowly gathered Erestor’s hands in his, surprised when the Elf let him. Erestor’s eyes were swimming and he hoped the Noldorin Elf would finally confide in him. “It is your father, is it not?”

 

Erestor stared at Glorfindel in disbelief. Was the blond trying to get him to talk? He wasn’t sure he could open up after so many centuries of silence. Instead of answering Glorfindel verbally, he nodded.

 

“He is the one who hurt you in the past.”

 

Glorfindel’s determined tone surprised Erestor. Did he also hear anger in Glorfindel’s tone? Why would there be anger?

 

“How did he hurt you?” Fury was building inside Glorfindel.

 

“I cannot discuss this…” Erestor’s voice collapsed as he buried his face in his hands.

 

Glorfindel accepted that. “I will wait until you are ready to tell me. In the meantime I will stay close to you.”

 

“Why?” Erestor pleadingly stared at Glorfindel. Had the impossible really happened? Did someone really care enough to look beneath his mask and see the pain hiding there? He had feared this day would never come and now that it had, he was afraid to entrust his past to Glorfindel. “Why stay?”

 

“Because I can tell you are hurting. Last night, when Elrond told you that your father was about to visit, you were shocked.” Glorfindel gave Erestor a thoughtful look. “I do not know in which ways Eridhren hurt you, but I will prevent it from happening again.” Tears now flowed freely down Erestor’s face and the Noldorin Elf’s fingers tightened around his, holding on for support. Glorfindel squeezed them in return. “You can put your trust in me. I will not let you down.”

 

“I want to believe you,” whispered Erestor hoarsely. “But it is hard to believe that you really want to—“ Erestor’s voice faltered, seeing the disappointment in Glorfindel’s eyes; the blond was sincere.

 

Glorfindel, realizing Erestor needed time to accept his interest, remained silent and waited for the dark-haired Elf to reach a decision. /Please trust me--/ 

 

Erestor was afraid to make a mistake that would cost him dearly, but now that Eridhren had arrived he needed someone to stand by him. “He is not what he seems.”

 

“Your father is not what he seems? In what way?” Glorfindel felt relieved now that Erestor was talking to him. Now he needed to be patient and diplomatic.

 

Erestor moistened his lips and looked at their joined hands, wondering about the blond’s interest in him. “He is…” Erestor desperately searched for the right words. “Be careful around him.”

 

Glorfindel’s breath caught involuntarily when Erestor’s eyes widened impossibly. “What is it?” What had startled the raven-haired Elf?

 

“Elladan and Elrohir…” Erestor suddenly panicked, but then the feelings seemed to deflate again. “They are with Thranduil and they are together.” He squeezed Glorfindel’s hand hard. “Please make sure Eridhren is not left alone with them!”

 

“Why?” Glorfindel hated pushing Erestor, but he had to know why the twins were in danger!

 

“They are still so young and they won’t recognize the danger he presents.” Erestor was shaking like a leaf.

 

“In what way is Eridhren dangerous? How can he hurt them?”

 

But Erestor wasn’t ready yet to confide the horrible truth to Glorfindel. “Just make sure Eridhren does not catch either of them alone and off guard.”

 

Glorfindel realized that Erestor wouldn’t tell him more. It would take the counselor some time to work up to that. “I will tell Elrond.”

 

Erestor lowered his eyes. “Do you really believe me?” Only Thranduil and his wife had believed him when it came down to Eridhren.

 

“Why should I not believe you? I know you are serious.” Glorfindel smiled reassuringly. /I know you are scared and that you worry about the twins’ safety./

 

Erestor hesitantly made eye contact again. The look in Glorfindel’s eyes took his breath away. “You are really worried about me and you do believe me.” That realization warmed his scarred soul.

 

Glorfindel nodded once. “I am worried about you, and I do believe you.” /No one believed you when you told them Eridhren was dangerous? Is that the reason why you were incapable of trusting us for all these centuries?/ “Elrond believes you, and so do the twins. You are no longer alone.” Glorfindel wiped away Erestor’s tears before they dripped from the raven-haired Elf’s chin. “You have been alone for a long time, have you not?”

 

Erestor was only capable of nodding. He felt the insane urge to fling himself into Glorfindel’s arms to hug the Elda, but stopped himself just in time. He didn’t want to impose himself on Glorfindel like that.

 

Feeling Erestor’s hands twitch in his and seeing the Noldorin Elf sway on the chair, Glorfindel gave in to his instincts, and let go of Erestor’s hands so he could wrap his arms around him. “I am here. You are safe, mellon-nîn. Eridhren won’t ever hurt you again!” Erestor tensed, but then the other’s body sagged against him and he tightened his hold. “You can let go, Erestor.”

 

Like before in Elrohir’s arms, Erestor sobbed and clung to Glorfindel in the midst of this emotional storm. Feelings which had been denied for centuries now fought a way to the surface. Erestor blinked his swimming eyes and then buried his face in Glorfindel’s robes.

 

Glorfindel slid onto his knees and pulled Erestor along onto the floor, where he tightly embraced the raven-haired Elf. He didn’t say a word, offering Erestor silent support. Words became redundant whilst he rocked the Noldorin Elf in his arms.

 

After a few minutes, Erestor calmed down and felt embarrassed for losing control. Glorfindel must think he had lost his sanity! “I am sorry,” he whispered in a strangled tone.

 

“Do not be sorry,” replied Glorfindel, who refused to release Erestor just yet, even though the raven-haired Elf tried to move away from him. “You kept this buried inside for so long and now it finally found a way out. You might actually feel better now that you cried.”

 

Glorfindel’s words surprised Erestor, but he had to admit the Elda was right. “I do feel better.” The darkness had faded momentarily. “Thank you for…” For what?

 

“You can always count on me to be there when you need me.” Glorfindel smiled, soothingly stroked Erestor’s back and felt like he had really made progress. “You can trust me. Do you know that?”

 

Erestor smiled weakly. “I do… now.”

 

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 10

 

 

Elrond decided to drop by his study before joining his guests for lunch. He hadn’t seen or heard from either Glorfindel or Erestor and was beginning to grow worried. Opening the door to his study, he halted in his tracks, seeing Erestor enveloped in a tight hug. Glorfindel looked up, met his gaze and nodded once. Elrond released a relieved sigh; somehow Glorfindel had found a way to break down Erestor’s defenses. He closed the door behind him, but gave them a moment to compose themselves, remaining standing near the doorway, not approaching yet.

 

“Erestor? Elrond just arrived. Maybe you should tell him what you just told me.” Glorfindel pulled back slightly, but maintained his hold on the raven-haired counselor, whose dark eyes now hesitantly sought out Elrond’s.

 

Elrond advanced on them and sat down behind his desk, still maintaining his distance. The last thing he wanted was for Erestor to feel pressured.

 

Erestor wiped away the remnants of his tears and tried to break free of Glorfindel’s embrace. The blond gave in and released him, and Erestor struggled to his feet. Swaying slightly, he quickly sat down on a chair.

 

“What is Glorfindel talking about?” asked Elrond, concerned. Erestor’s eyes were red from crying.

 

“You have to make sure my father is never alone with one of the twins. He is dangerous,” Erestor paused briefly to search for the right words, “He is a predator.”

 

Elrond knew Elladan and Elrohir could easily hold their own against Eridhren, but Erestor still thought of the twins as Elflings, having helped raise them. In Erestor’s opinion they would always need protection. Elrond cleared his throat, hoping his next assessment would make Erestor open up farther. “And he preys on children? Very young children?”

 

Erestor shivered violently, lowered his eyes and wished the floor would open and swallow him.

 

Elrond sighed deeply. “I will tell Elladan and Elrohir to be careful when dealing with Eridhren. And you do not have to join us for lunch, Erestor. I would understand if you preferred to stay clear of Eridhren.”

 

“No,” said Erestor in an urgent tone. “I will be there. I do not want him to think I am afraid of him.”

 

“But you –are- afraid of him,” pointed out Glorfindel, who had regained possession of Erestor’s right hand. He was soothingly rubbing the dark-haired Elf’s knuckles.

 

“I have always been afraid of him,” said Erestor, whilst looking into Glorfindel’s eyes. “But I refuse to give in to that fear.”

 

Glorfindel nodded approvingly. “Facing your fears will make you stronger, and you have our support.”

 

Elrond wondered just how afraid Erestor was and if it was wise to let his friend attend lunch. “Stay close to Glorfindel.”

 

Erestor nodded thankfully. “I will.”

 

Elrond and Glorfindel exchanged a look filled with understanding. Together, they would deal with Eridhren.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Thranduil looked over his shoulder and saw Elrond, his advisors, and the twins approaching. The party had now reached their table and they seated themselves. To his relief, he found that Erestor wasn’t seated next to Eridhren, but at the other side of the table, safely wedged between Glorfindel and Elrohir.

 

Elrond signaled for everyone to begin eating and Thranduil caught himself occasionally looking at the half-Elf. It was hard to imagine they had been best friends once, even lovers, but then Gil-galad had taken Elrond away from him. Elrond had possessed a passion and beauty which he had admired, and after some very clumsy seduction attempts the Peredhel had given into his advances. For a very brief time they had been lovers, but then Gil-galad had taken an interest in Elrond and had stolen the half-Elf away from him.

 

His bitterness stemmed from losing a lover to someone he had always instinctively disliked. Oropher’s death had only deepened the chasm between them. There was a lot of old pain between them and his heart still ached because of this lost love.

 

Ah, but why was he giving in to these gloomy thoughts? He was here to negotiate a truce between Mirkwood and Imladris, not to dwell on the past. He’d had his chance with Elrond and it hadn’t worked. He had to let go. It had happened so many centuries ago!

 

“Thranduil, I trust your quarters are satisfactory?” Elrond, having noticed Thranduil’s absent-minded expression, raised an eyebrow inquisitively. The blond Elf started momentarily, but then replied in a formal, somewhat distant tone.

 

“Aye, they are. Imladris is truly beautiful.” Eridhren snorted beside him and Thranduil glared at him.

 

Eridhren had averted his eyes and was now staring at Erestor, who seemed to shrink within himself beneath the look, which greatly worried Glorfindel. Holding Erestor’s hand beneath the table, Glorfindel squeezed in an effort to offer his support.

 

Erestor managed to answer Eridhren’s stare momentarily, but then averted his eyes. The cold expression in his father’s eyes was making him feel physically ill and he wished he had accepted Elrond’s earlier offer to not attend lunch. Knowing Eridhren was this close caused all sorts of horrid memories to return and he struggled to maintain control of them. Feeling Glorfindel’s fingers curled around his helped.

 

Elrond, sensing the tension, wondered how to do away with it. He didn’t want Erestor to leave; that would resemble a flight and then Eridhren would feel like he had chased Erestor away. But he had to do something! An idea suddenly came to mind. “Eridhren, why don’t we already discuss Mirkwood’s plans so that when we get together tomorrow Thranduil and I can quickly reach a decision?” Looking at Thranduil, Elrond added, “I am sure you are most eager to return home.”

 

Thranduil barely refrained from staring at Elrond in surprise. “You are right, of course.” Realizing Elrond wanted to talk to Eridhren in private, he wondered why. “We will talk in the morning then.”

 

Eridhren rose from his chair and followed Elrond onto the balcony. Stairs spiraled down and took them into the gardens.

 

A strangled sigh left Erestor’s lips once Eridhren was gone. “I cannot stay here any longer,” he whispered into Glorfindel’s ear.

 

Glorfindel reacted at once, got to his feet and pulled Erestor along. He cast an apologetic look at the twins, who also wanted to join them, but he quickly shook his head. It would be rude to leave Thranduil all by himself. Now it was up to the twins to play host.

 

“Erestor? Come with me.” Glorfindel steered the dark-haired Elf toward the doorway, eager to take Erestor away from the crowd. Once they were safely in the corridor, he forced Erestor to stop walking and waited for the dark eyes to meet his. “I do not want him near you. Please stay away from him.”

 

But Erestor objected weakly. “Tomorrow start the negotiations. As Elrond’s counselor I should be there.”

 

“Erestor, do you trust me?”

 

Erestor, feeling confused at hearing Glorfindel’s question, nodded.

 

“Then let me take your place at the council tomorrow.” Glorfindel looked pleadingly at Erestor. “Do not expose yourself to his presence.”

 

“But then he will think he intimidated me and…” Erestor’s voice faltered. “I cannot let the past repeat itself.”

 

Glorfindel drew in a deep breath and started walking again, guiding Erestor to his rooms where they had some privacy. He was determined to make the dark-haired Elf open up to him; he had to know what terrible secret lay hidden in the past.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elrohir wondered if he was supposed to say something now that his father, Erestor and Glorfindel had left. “My lord Thranduil, have you ever been in Imladris before?” It seemed a dumb question to him, but it was the only thing he was able to come up with.

 

Thranduil actually managed a genuine smile. “Never. As you probably know your father and I had differences in the past.”

 

Elrohir looked to Elladan to save him from the awkward situation, which was becoming increasingly embarrassing. What could they possibly ask Thranduil?

 

“Do you have any children?” Elladan felt proud of having been able to think up that question and grinned broadly.

 

Thranduil sensed some of their unease and continued to smile to reassure them. The twins had inherited more than just Elrond’s good looks; they were charming as well. Elrohir especially reminded him of a much younger Elrond. “I have two sons. Valthoron is the oldest, and my heir. Legolas is about your age, maybe a tad younger, and more of a free spirit who roams Arda most of the time.”

 

Elladan knew he shouldn’t ask this next question, but couldn’t stop himself. “And their mother?”

 

A sad expression appeared in Thranduil’s sea green eyes. “Like your mother, she sailed to Valinor many centuries ago.”

 

Elladan cursed himself privately. He knew he shouldn’t have asked that question. “I am sorry…” Lost for words, he looked apologetically at Thranduil.

 

“You could not know. Do not worry about it.” Thranduil’s gaze continued to shift between the two of them. They were identical twins, but he felt confident he could tell them apart. Now it was time for a question of his own. “I noticed that Erestor is not feeling well?”

 

Elrohir frowned. “He has not been feeling well for some time now. He was wounded recently and I suppose he has not yet recovered completely,” said Elrohir quickly, when Elladan was lost for words. “Glorfindel and my father have been looking after him.”

 

Thranduil’s eyes narrowed. “So it has nothing to do with Eridhren’s presence?”

 

Elrohir and Elladan exchanged a worried look. Thranduil’s question had taken them aback. In the end, Elrohir said, “I did notice that Eridhren is remarkably reserved towards Erestor, considering they have not seen each other for so long.”

 

“Reserved…” said Thranduil thoughtfully. “Reserved is not the word I would use to describe him.”

 

“What words –would- you use?” asked Elladan curiously.

 

“Cold. Distant. Dangerous even.” Thranduil swore he heard a sigh of relief, coming from Elrohir’s lips. “You agree with me then?”

 

Elrohir nodded, suddenly wondering why he was discussing this with Thranduil. Somehow he had imagined Thranduil to be different, not this… mellow and friendly. “Maybe you should discuss this matter with my father.”

 

“I think I will,” said Thranduil in a slow, thoughtful tone. “If you will excuse me now, I think I will go for a short walk.”

 

Elladan and Elrohir reacted too slowly and by they time they wanted to address Thranduil, the Ruler of Mirkwood had already stepped onto the balcony, leaving them behind in wonder.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Eridhren had fallen into step beside him and Elrond constantly fought the urge to put more distance between them. The hair at the back of his neck stood rigid, warning him to be extremely cautious. He had never experienced such a fierce reaction before when meeting an Elf for the first time. “I trust you already have certain ideas how to set up these border patrols?” Eridhren’s clipped laughter caused gooseflesh to form on his skin and Elrond involuntarily pulled his cloak closer around his form.

 

“I have, but I doubt that is the reason why you want to talk to me.” Eridhren halted in his tracks and leaned against the trunk of an ash, studying Elrond.

 

Elrond took a step away from Eridhren, trying hard to keep his breathing steady. For some reason he felt unable to draw in his next breath. “What do you mean?”

 

“Erestor lied. I never hurt him. He was a rather confused child and mixed up certain things that happened in the past. I am his father. How could I possibly hurt my own flesh and blood? Could you hurt your sons?”

 

How did Eridhren know that they had suspected this? Elrond probed the icy grey eyes. “If you did not hurt him, who did?”

 

“A stranger.”

 

/Lies! He is lying!/ Elrond was on his guard, seeing the predatory look in Eridhren’s eyes. He didn’t believe a single word Eridhren had said.

 

Eridhren reacted quickly, stepped up to Elrond, grabbed the half-Elf’s wrist and pulled him close. “Maybe I was wrong. Maybe this is not about Erestor. Maybe it is about… lust?”

 

The sudden change in Eridhren’s eyes startled Elrond. They became narrow and evil, almost undressing and devouring him. A sense of entrapment swept through him and he tried to free himself of Eridhren’s hold. “Lust?” he echoed in disbelief.

 

“What is your pleasure, mighty Lord of Imladris?” said Eridhren in a mocking tone. “Do you want me to tie you down? Spank you? Bend you over and take you? Is that why you brought me here? You really need to be more diplomatic in future. I am sure the others saw through your guise.”

 

Elrond stared at Eridhren in shock, almost questioning his sanity. “What did you say? Do you really think I would want you in that way? How dare you assume such a thing?” Growing furious, he doubled his effort to rid himself of Eridhren’s hold. “Let go of me! How dare you touch me?”

 

Eridhren’s grin grew malicious, licking his lips, whilst leaning in closer to touch them to Elrond’s. “Ah, you like it rough.”

 

Elrond’s eyes narrowed dangerously and he prepared to fight off Eridhren in earnest when an angry voice cut through the air.

 

“You heard him, Eridhren. Remove your hands from his person.” Thranduil appeared from behind them and glared at his counselor. “Return to your quarters and stay there until I send word.”

 

Eridhren hissed at Elrond, but then let go of the half-Elf and after shooting a venomous look at Thranduil, he turned and marched away.

 

Elrond, still furious, now aimed his anger at Thranduil. “Are you insane to bring him here? He is obviously a very troubled soul!”

 

Thranduil forced himself to remain calm. He knew from personal experience that Elrond had to vent his anger first before he would really listen to him.

 

“His presence upsets Erestor and –“ Elrond paused momentarily, still trying to comprehend what had just happened, “He assaulted me!”

 

Thranduil briefly considered pointing out to Elrond that it was the half-Elf’s letter that had brought Eridhren here, but refrained from doing so, not wanting to aggravate the dark-haired Elf any farther. “Are you done?”

 

Elrond glared at him; his eyes shot deadly daggers and they were aimed at the blond.

 

Thranduil drew in a deep breath, met Elrond’s defying glare, and said, “I know Eridhren is a danger and that allowing him to come here is dangerous, but if I had refused he would have sneaked after me. At least now I know where he is and what he is up to. I do not have to worry about him operating in the dark.”

 

Elrond finally managed to calm down. Rubbing his wrist to sooth the chafed skin, he nodded once. “Continue.”

 

“Your letter made him determined to come here. I kept Erestor’s whereabouts carefully hidden from Eridhren, but you addressed that letter to him personally and I was unable to intercept it.” Thranduil pointed at a bench near a lovely stream. “Why don’t we sit down?”

 

Elrond followed Thranduil, still remaining on his guard. After sitting down, he waited for the blond to continue.

 

“Eridhren is dangerous. You do not want him as your enemy.”

 

Elrond cocked his head in question. “You followed us here.”

 

Thranduil nodded once. “I know Eridhren. You are a challenge he cannot exist.” A challenge he hadn’t been able to resist either centuries ago. “You might want to keep an eye on your sons. Eridhren will try to prey on them as well. I take it Glorfindel is guarding Erestor?”

 

Stunned, Elrond stared at Thranduil. “What do you know about Eridhren that you are not telling me?”

 

Thranduil nodded his head. “Eridhren is a predator. He preys on the young, the innocent. The children, young Elflings. He hurts them in so many ways. When Valthoron and Legolas were born I had to station Eridhren on the outskirts of my realm, for I did not want him near my children.”

 

Elrond suddenly realized that he was holding his breath. “Why are you still keeping him around?”

 

Thranduil shrugged. “As I said before, as long as I know where he is and what he is up to I can prevent the worst. If I had banished him, he would have been free to make more victims.”

 

“Do you know what he did to Erestor?” Elrond had a hard time believing Thranduil was on his side. He had mentally prepared himself for a very ugly confrontation, but then again, Thranduil had never been predictable. It was one of the things that had first attracted him to the blond.

 

Thranduil leaned back, stared at the clouds that were obscuring the sun, and then nodded once. “Eridhren was already one of my counselors when he got one of the maidens pregnant. I forced him to marry her, but it was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. The maiden died in childbirth and Eridhren tried to abandon the child. I stopped him and forced him to care for the baby. Eridhren hated Erestor and mistreated the poor child badly. Throughout the years he abused Erestor, not only emotionally, but physically as well.”

 

Elrond listened breathlessly. Thranduil was finally providing him with the missing pieces of this puzzle.

 

“Years before Erestor reached majority I found him in one of the halls. He had been beaten bloody and was incapable of speech. He was in shock and I took him to my rooms. My wife took care of him, and when he had regained some of his composure he confirmed my suspicions that Eridhren was responsible for his state. Erestor begged me to help him get away from his father, and I could not decline. I provided him with a horse, and water, and I escorted him to our borders.” Thranduil averted his eyes before making his next admission. “I told him to make for Imladris, where you would surely allow him sanctuary.”

 

Elrond nodded. “I took him in. I realized something was wrong with him, but he was so… distant. I could not reach him.”

 

“I think that Erestor was very determined to never get hurt again. He would not let you in for he feared you would emotionally hurt him.” Thranduil’s heart still missed a beat, thinking back to finding that huddled form, full of misery, hidden behind his throne. It had been the one place Erestor had felt safe.

 

Elrond’s eyes narrowed. “I never realized you knew Erestor that well. I never noticed anything during our meetings.”

 

“Erestor always feared that Eridhren would accompany me and he remained alert the entire time. He also did not want you to grow suspicious. You would wonder why we knew each other. He was protecting himself.”

 

“I never suspected a thing,” whispered Elrond, shocked. Forcing himself to focus on the problem at hand, he said, “What do we do with Eridhren? I do not want him loose in the Last Homely House, trying to hurt my sons as well.”

 

“I suggest you station guards near his rooms and check on him regularly. He will try to get close to Erestor and we must prevent that from happening.”

 

“I will make sure Eridhren is guarded at all times.” A strange sensation coursed through Elrond’s heart, hearing Thranduil’s worried and compassionate tone. “Thranduil?”

 

Thranduil’s gaze became guarded, hearing the unexpected change in Elrond’s tone. “Aye?”

 

“We were friends once, were we not?”

 

“Friends?” Thranduil’s tone changed, and became more distant as if lost in memories. “We were more than friends. We were lovers... until…”

 

Elrond flinched involuntarily. “Until Gil-galad appeared in our lives.”

 

“He wanted you and it did not matter to him that we were together. He seduced you, and you—“ Anger surfaced in his voice. “It is not wise to discuss this now. Even after these millennia I get angry when…”

 

Elrond slowly placed a hand on Thranduil’s arm, and when the blond looked at him, he said, “It was infatuation, Thranduil. We were young. What we felt was not love.”

 

Thranduil laughed, embittered. “Elrond, I do not know what you felt, but I loved you. Did you really love Gil-galad? Or was it lust that made you forget my declarations of eternal love?”

 

Elrond watched, surprised, as Thranduil jumped to his feet and began to pace.

 

“My father was against our love and yet I snuck into your tent every night because I wanted to be with you! Oropher constantly told me that I was stupid to trust you to return my love and I told him how wrong he was! I was convinced you loved me!”

 

Elrond’s eyes had widened during Thranduil’s speech, and he moistened his lips to speak as well, but then Thranduil beat him to it.

 

“And yes, I did hate you for contributing to my father’s death! Aye, he acted rashly and moved out without direct orders, but when we sent for help we did not get an answer because Gil-galad was busy taking his dirty pleasure from your body!”

 

Elrond, speechless, just stared at Thranduil, whose rage had now reached its maximum.

 

Thranduil realized just what he had revealed and felt angry with himself for letting go. He had never wanted Elrond to find out that he was still hurting after all these centuries. “I—“ He shook his head, spun around and marched away, leaving Elrond behind in complete shock.

 

Elrond stared at Thranduil’s form until the blond had vanished from sight. By Elbereth, he hadn’t seen that outburst coming! Slightly shaky from having these intense emotions aimed at him, he reached out for support and placed his hand against the trunk of a tree. It was true then; Thranduil had really loved him. Gil-galad had convinced him that the blond just lusted after him, and when the High King had made his move, he had given in willingly, happy to have found someone who did love him.

 

/I was so wrong. I should have trusted my instincts and feelings back then instead of taking Gil-galad’s words for granted./ Thranduil had really loved him. Immensely saddened, he hung his head in shame and regret. /Why did I listen to Gil-galad? Because of his splendor? His power? He was so different from Thranduil./

 

Thranduil had always made slow, passionate love with him, whilst Gil-galad had just taken what he had wanted. /I was a fool./

 

Elrond raised his head, and stared at the green leaves, sheltering him from the powerful rays of the sun. “I loved you too,” he whispered sincerely, “but I was afraid to admit it.” And that fear was the reason why he had lost the one person who had truly loved him.

 

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 11

 

 

Glorfindel quickly closed the door behind him and led Erestor to the bed, where he sat the shaken Elf down. Seeing him shiver, Glorfindel left Erestor on the bed to pour his friend a glass of wine. He also retrieved a blanket and draped it across Erestor’s shoulders. Hopefully Erestor would find some comfort in being in his private rooms again, far away from Eridhren. “Drink this, maybe it will help settle your nerves.” Glorfindel sat down next to Erestor and handed him the glass, watching him carefully.

 

Erestor sipped mechanically, not realizing he was actually drinking wine. His father’s glare haunted him and his hands began to shake, making the wine slosh over the rim.

 

Glorfindel quickly curled his fingers around Erestor’s and steadied them. He assisted the Elf in drinking the sweet liquid and then disposed of the empty glass. Once more retrieving Erestor’s hand, he clasped it in his. With his other hand, he cupped the dark-haired Elf’s chin in his palm, lifted his face and made eye contact with Erestor. “Will you tell me what haunts you? You are hurting because you are trying to deal with this on your own when you do not have to. Please confide in me.”

 

Erestor closed his eyes momentarily. Shaking violently, he tried to fight down his shame and rising nausea, which the returning memories were causing. “I am afraid… Afraid you will leave me… when you learn the truth.” His eyes opened and he stared pleadingly at the blond. “I never had a friend before! I do not want to lose you!” He was certain that opening up to Glorfindel would make the Elda look at him in disgust and desert him.

 

Glorfindel sighed deeply, realizing how fragile Erestor’s trust in him was. The dark-haired Elf expected to be abandoned the moment his friend found out the truth. “I won’t desert you,” said Glorfindel firmly. “I will stand by you.” Sensing the inner struggle that was taking place in Erestor’s mind, he reassuringly squeezed the Noldorin Elf’s hand, hoping to convince him to continue.

 

“I –will- lose your friendship,” sighed Erestor, distressed. “I know I will...” He shook his head when Glorfindel wanted to object and said, “So… you want to know the truth?”

 

Holding his breath, Glorfindel nodded once. Had Erestor really decided to trust him? “Please, tell me everything.”

 

Erestor released a shaky breath and averted his eyes. He couldn’t possibly tell his story whilst looking at Glorfindel. “It s-started…” he stuttered nervously, “be-before I was even born.”

 

Glorfindel released the breath he had been holding. It hurt that Erestor refused to make eye contact with him, but he allowed it. He still had a tight hold on the Elf’s hand and showed his support by rubbing Erestor’s knuckles.

 

“Eridhren got my… m-mother pregnant and he was ordered to marry her… w-which he did. He never loved her though… He felt t-trapped, and neglected her… during her pregnancy.” Erestor’s features contorted with emotional pain as he continued, "S-she began to fade… and after I was born… her s-soul traveled to the Halls of Waiting.”

 

Glorfindel’s heart contracted painfully, seeing the anguish in Erestor’s eyes. He had never heard Erestor stutter before; it showed in how much emotional pain the Elf was. “She died in childbirth?”

 

“I… n-never knew her. She must have been beautiful… I wish I had known her... Maybe things would have been… different if she had s-survived.” Erestor’s large, dark eyes filled with unshed tears. “She had long, golden hair and sky blue eyes… At least… that is what Thranduil told me.”

 

“Thranduil?” Glorfindel frowned. What had Thranduil to do with this?

 

“I grew up in M-mirkwood… and Thranduil often tried to p-protect me from my father’s rages... In the end, he helped me escape… I traveled to Imladris, h-hoping to find a home, a r-real home, here.” The tears finally left Erestor’s eyes and flowed down the Elf’s cheek, and the stutter worsened. “I was s-so afraid Eridhren would t-track me down and follow me here... B-but Thranduil made sure my father did not f-find out… I am eternally

g-grateful for that… it enabled me to build a life here.”

 

Glorfindel grew sad; what a cold and lonely life Erestor’s had been! He hadn’t noticed, hadn’t probed beneath the surface! No one had! “I never knew you grew up in Mirkwood.”

 

“I k-kept it a secret. I did not want you or Elrond to become s-suspicious… The one thing I was most afraid of… was Eridhren f-finding out and coming here… M-my worst nightmare has now come true… How did he find me after all this t-time?”

 

Glorfindel, feeling guilty and ashamed, cleared his throat. “That might be Elrond’s fault.”

 

“Elrond?” Erestor blinked through his tears, pleadingly looking at Glorfindel.

 

“We were so worried about you that Elrond contacted Eridhren. We did not know—“

 

“So that is how he f-found out,” whispered Erestor brokenly. “M-maybe I should have confided in Elrond when I f-first came here… but I was afraid… afraid he would send me back…. I had not reached my majority yet, and –“ Sobs made it impossible for Erestor to continue.

 

“Calm down, mellon-nîn. You are safe here; you know that.” 

 

“But I… I no longer feel safe! Not now that I know –he- is here! His presence is b-bringing b-back all kind of memories!”

 

Erestor’s upset tone was getting to Glorfindel, who was becoming severely worried, seeing the dark-haired Elf’s eyes grow big. “What kind of memories?” Did he even want to hear this? But he had to follow through now, for Erestor’s sake.

 

Erestor closed his eyes and his tone dropped, until it became emotionless and hardly understandable. “It began when I was lit-little... He would get

c-cross with me for everything. At one p-point I was afraid to just br-breathe in his presence. He constantly ordered me around... I was his personal sla…ve… and…”

 

Glorfindel folded an arm around the trembling Elf and pulled Erestor close. “Then what?”

 

“I dropped a… c-cup accidentally and he… he hi-hit me. There was blood coming out of my nose… and I did not understand w-why I was hurting, or why he had hi-hit me.” Erestor raised his head and stared helplessly at the blond. “I s-said I was s-sorry for dr-dropping that cup. I did no-not do it on purpose. I was only a child!”

 

“I know you did not do it on purpose, but even if you did, it did not warrant his reaction. He had no right to hit you!” Anger was beginning to build in Glorfindel.

 

“It be-became worse from that p-point on. He would hit me… for no reason at all, just because I was t-there. He yelled at me… blamed me for my… my mother’s death and said he –hated- me... He wished she had never con…conceived and that I should never have been b-born!”

 

Glorfindel hugged Erestor tightly. “What an awful thing to say to a child.”

 

“If only it had st-stopped there…” Erestor hesitantly returned the hug, which felt awkward and unfamiliar to him. “The beatings got worse... The

br-bruises showed on my face.”

 

“And no one tried to help you?” Glorfindel barely managed to keep his anger under control and he wasn’t sure how he would react when being confronted with Eridhren. He wanted to make the Elf pay for hurting Erestor like that!

 

“Thran… Thranduil tried to help and so did his wife, Aewithôn… They often v-visited, trying to r-reason with my father. They offered to raise me instead, but my father r-refused... I do not know why, what kind of p-perverse p-pleasure he—“ Erestor’s breathing stopped momentarily, and his body froze against Glorfindel’s.

 

Glorfindel realized the worst was yet to come and mentally prepared himself for Erestor’s next admission. He tightened his hold on the dark-haired Elf and made eye contact. “What happened next?”

 

“The m-maidens did not w-want anything to do with him... They knew Gildin had d-died because of grief and they avoided him. But, he… he…” Unable to continue, Erestor sobbed softly.

 

Glorfindel told himself to be patient and give Erestor the time he needed. He rubbed his friend’s back with strong, soothing strokes and held him tight. “You can tell me.”

 

Erestor felt terrified and desperately wanted to flee the room, but he couldn’t stop now. Glorfindel wouldn’t let him. “Sex-sexually, he…”

 

Glorfindel sucked in his breath. He had feared Erestor would reveal something like this, but had hoped his fears were ungrounded. “He touched you? Intimately?”

 

Erestor lowered his eyes in shame and nodded once. His faltering voice was barely audible. “And I… I was ordered to… to t-touch him.”

 

“How far did it go?”

 

“I had to ma-make him c-come… Pl-please… please do not make me tell you the de-details! I s-still feel so ashamed because of it.” Erestor buried his face against Glorfindel’s shoulder, unable to bear the blond’s gaze any longer. “It continued for… years.”

 

“You are not to blame for this; you know that, don’t you?” Glorfindel pulled back slightly and lifted Erestor’s chin. “His mind is twisted and he should never have gotten his hands on an innocent.”

 

“Thranduil and Aewithôn… t-tried… to get me away from him, but he… he is my father! They could n-not overrule his parental rights... but they did make my life more bearable… I knew –someone- cared about me.” Erestor’s voice faltered each time his emotions overwhelmed him.

 

“You said earlier that Thranduil helped you flee from Mirkwood?” Inwardly, Glorfindel was raging. His anger, aimed at Eridhren, was making it hard to concentrate on Erestor’s needs. He wanted to hurt Eridhren like the bastard had hurt Erestor!

 

“That… night… was the w-worst of my life. A maiden, who he had pursued, had re-rejected him… and, frustrated, he came to my r-room… I was so scared… I had n-never seen him that f-furious before… and I was at a loss at what to do… so I tried to r-run away, but he caught me and…I got the

w-worst b-beating of my life… When… his rage faded…he… left! He simply left me there, b-bleeding and b-bruised. I left a bloody trail on the floor; that is how ba-badly he had hurt me!”

 

Glorfindel’s eyes were now filling with tears as well. Erestor had suffered so much!

 

“Thranduil m-must have heard me… or maybe one of his guards told him, but he found me, hi-hiding behind his throne... I hid there often… It was the last p-place where my father would look for me. Thranduil took me to his r-rooms where Aewithôn tended to my wounds.” Erestor drew in a deep breath. “I begged Thranduil to help me.”

 

“Which he did.” Glorfindel moistened his lips. His mouth felt awfully dry and a lump had formed in his throat. “I am so glad he helped you. I never liked Thranduil, but I do feel thankful that he reached out to you.”

 

Erestor searched Glorfindel’s eyes, looking for rejection and loathing, but instead he found understanding and compassion in them. The blond was also still holding him, rubbing his back, another sign that Glorfindel didn’t blame him for what had happened in the past.

 

“It was not your fault,” said Glorfindel firmly, sensing Erestor’s fears. “It was not your fault,” he repeated, emphasizing every word. “Eridhren was wrong; he is to blame, not you.” Erestor collapsed against him and the raven-haired Elf rested his head on his shoulder. Glorfindel rocked him slowly, whispering, “It was not your fault, please believe me. There is no reason to feel ashamed.”

 

“But I –do- feel ashamed, and I…I…” Erestor paused, reminded himself that he could trust Glorfindel, and added, “I am so… afraid that –it- will happen again now that he has f-found me. I feel like the fr-frightened child which I once was... I feel helpless and defenseless.”

 

Glorfindel understood. “He won’t touch you ever again. You are no longer a child, but an adult. You can defend yourself and I will make sure that he will never get you alone. Never!”

 

Erestor took comfort in Glorfindel’s promise, hoping the blond would keep his word. It was still hard to trust, but it had just become a little bit easier.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Glorfindel waited until Erestor’s sobs had died and the dark-haired Elf simply rested against him, soaking up warmth and comfort. When Erestor finally raised his head from his shoulder, Glorfindel read a question in those dark eyes. “What is it?”

 

“I do not feel safe here,” said Erestor in a tone hoarse from crying. “He will come for me, and he can easily locate my rooms.” Involuntarily his gaze drifted off to the door, almost expecting his father to appear there.

 

“I will stay with you. You should know that the twins, Elrond, or I will always be here for you. We won’t leave you alone, not even for a minute.” Glorfindel smiled, saddened, when he tried to let go of Erestor, who continued to cling to him. “You are safe, mellon-nîn. Trust in me.”

 

Erestor tentatively nodded. “I hope he will leave shortly.” The mere thought of his father being in Imladris was enough to distress him.

 

Glorfindel looked through the window. How many hours had passed since lunch? The sun was quite low and it wouldn’t be long before the moon would start to rise again. His gaze shifted to Erestor and he sighed, upset, seeing the eyes were still red from crying. The raven-haired Elf looked absolutely miserable. “Why don’t you try to sleep, mellon-nîn? You must be tired.”

 

“I am afraid to close my eyes,” admitted Erestor, caught off guard.

 

“What if I promise to stay close?” Glorfindel gathered Erestor’s hands in his, and met the other’s gaze. “I promise you won’t be alone tonight. Even if I should be called away I will make sure either Elladan or Elrohir will stay with you.” Involuntarily, he held his breath as Erestor raised his right hand to brush a blond lock from his face. The touch was gentle, almost intimate, and he smiled encouragingly. It was the first time that Erestor reached out like that.

 

Suddenly growing aware of what he had done, Erestor jerked back his hand and gave the Elda an apologetic look. Even the slightest touch had spooked him for years and now he wanted to touch Glorfindel? What if the blond didn’t want to be touched? Sighing, he wondered if he would ever be able to make sense of his messed up thoughts. What his father had done to him had changed him forever.

 

“Let us get you out those formal robes; they cannot be comfortable to sleep in.” Seeing Erestor’s eyes go big, Glorfindel smiled reassuringly.

 

“I do not want to impose on you,” whispered Erestor, shakily, but the blond was gone already, opening his closet and withdrawing a white sleeping robe. Erestor lowered his gaze; the thought of Glorfindel helping him undress was causing strange, unknown emotions to wash through him.

 

Glorfindel noticed Erestor’s unease, but pretended to not see it. He began to unbutton Erestor’s robes because his friend’s hands were shaking. “I need you to stand up.”

 

Erestor did, shaking like a leaf, and the robes dropped to the floor. Glorfindel quickly told hold of the sleeping robe, and helped Erestor into it, buttoning it up again at the end. “Comfortable?” The way Erestor shied away from his touch and gaze caused his heart to ache in sympathy.

 

Erestor nodded weakly, uncomfortable with the fact that Glorfindel had seen him naked. Why it unnerved him, he couldn’t explain, but it caused gooseflesh on his skin and he shakily sat down on the bed again.

 

Lowering himself onto his heels, Glorfindel removed Erestor’s boots. “Lie down,” he said in a soft tone, whilst pushing down the covers.

 

Erestor gave him a questioning look. It was strange; first Elrohir had gained his trust and now Glorfindel as well.

 

Glorfindel wondered about the different emotions in Erestor’s eyes when he helped his friend to lie down.

 

“Where will you… sleep… then?” Erestor stifled a yawn, and his eyes were already growing vacant. The bed was warm, comfortable and feeling relaxed and safe, he let go of his struggle to remain awake. But he still caught Glorfindel’s words as the blond spoke softly.

 

“The bed is big enough for me to lie down as well, but for now I will sit here and watch over you. Let go of your fears and tension. You are in good hands.”

 

Erestor even managed to smile although he was quickly falling asleep. /Thank you for being a friend… A true friend./

 

Glorfindel found himself stroking the long, dark tresses, whilst watching Erestor’s eyes turn vacant. Now that the Noldorin Elf was asleep, he sighed deeply. The anger, aimed at Eridhren, was still there; in fact it was growing and would demand a way out eventually.

 

A soft knock on his door caught his attention. “Who is it?” He spoke softly to not wake Erestor.

 

“Elrohir.”

 

“One moment… I locked the door.” Glorfindel regretted letting go of the dark mane and rose to his feet. After unlocking the door, he stepped aside and Elrohir entered.

 

Elrohir smiled saddened, seeing Erestor asleep in the bed. “What happened?”

 

Glorfindel signaled for Elrohir to follow him and they sat down in front of the fire, exchanging worried looks. “Erestor told me how his father hurt him. It is even worse than we thought. Eridhren is extremely dangerous. I urge you, and Elladan, to remain on your guard at all times.”

 

Elrohir’s gaze came to rest on Erestor. “Will you tell me what he said?”

 

Glorfindel told Elrohir what Eridhren had done to Erestor.

 

The young half-Elf gasped in shock and sympathy when he learned how badly Erestor had been abused. “That explains so much. It explains why he is afraid of being touched, why he never visited his father, and why he is so concerned about Elladan and I. But we will be careful. Eridhren won’t get a chance to hurt anyone again.” Elrohir concentrated on Glorfindel and saw the fury in the azure eyes. He felt equally as angry.

 

“Would you stay with Erestor for a short while? I need to—“ Glorfindel paused, searching for the right words. “I need to talk to Elrond about this.” Maybe talking to Elrond would subdue this anger that was consuming him. The healer always managed to calm him down. “And I will inform Elladan as well.”

 

Elrohir nodded. “I will gladly sit with Erestor. Take as much time as you need.”

 

Glorfindel looked over his shoulder at Erestor to make sure the Elf was still sound asleep and then headed for the doorway. Suddenly, he halted. “Aren’t Elladan and you supposed to take care of Thranduil? I hope you did not desert him?”

 

“Actually, he excused himself. He wanted to go for a walk in the gardens and I have not seen him since.” Elrohir frowned. "Glorfindel, he is nothing like I thought he would be.”

 

“Thranduil is a mystery,” confirmed Glorfindel. “I never understood him. But I will also check on him before returning here. He is a guest after all and should be treated accordingly.” He would also put up guards close to Eridhren’s rooms. “Take good care of Erestor.” After seeing Elrohir nod, he left in search of Elrond.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Erestor’s sleep became restless, Elrohir exchanged his chair for the bed, sitting down on its edge. Erestor was moving in bed, occasionally releasing a soft whimper. Acting instinctively, Elrohir reached out and stroked the dark hair. “You can sleep safely, Erestor.”

 

Suddenly the dark eyes flashed with a moment of awareness. “El… rohir?”

 

”Aye, I am here.” Elrohir smiled reassuringly. “As I said earlier, you are safe.”

 

“Elrohir…” Erestor’s eyes still had a glint of awareness, but sleep was heavy in them again.

 

Elrohir was caught by surprise when Erestor suddenly reached for him, wrapping one arm around his shoulder and blindly pulling him down. He didn’t struggle and gave in willingly, letting the troubled Elf pull him close. Lying facing each other, Elrohir returned Erestor’s embrace and enfolded the elder Elf in a hug of his own.

 

His heart contracted in sympathy when Erestor curled up against him, resting his head against his shoulder. “Aye, you are safe now. You can sleep,” murmured Elrohir, realizing how desperately Erestor needed to know he was safe. Holding his former mentor close, Elrohir was content to watch the elder Elf’s sleep turn quiet and peaceful again. /I am here for you, Erestor. And I won’t let your father get to you./

 

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 12

 

 

Thranduil marched straight to the quarters where his personal guards were staying and ordered two of them to secure Eridhren’s chambers, making sure the Elf couldn’t leave unnoticed.

 

Still angry, he continued to his own guest rooms where he exchanged his formal robes for his leather uniform. He girded on his sword, fastened his cloak and left again, this time heading for the wood instead of the gardens, for he wanted to avoid running into Elrond again at all cost. He felt incredibly hurt and furious, and although part of him realized he was acting like a spoiled brat, he didn’t care. Elrond had broken his heart millennia ago and not even Aewithôn had been able to heal that wound. Although he had loved her dearly, part of his heart had remained scarred.

 

He marched into the woods, drew in a deep breath and explored his surroundings. Living in Mirkwood required his constant alertness. Countless dangers lurked there, but here, in Imladris, he had conceived no threat, and so he let his guard down a little. Encountering a stretch of waving grass, he drew his sword, focused inward and began his routine exercises.

 

The only noise that betrayed his presence was the soft swoosh of air, as his sword continued to move. Repeating exercises that had become second nature to him, he managed to calm down and get his feelings back under control.

 

He succeeded in labeling the two things that worried him most. His first and most important problem was Eridhren. He had to find a way to deal with the Elf once and for all. He didn’t want Erestor to live in constant fear now that Eridhren knew his whereabouts.

 

And then there was Elrond. His motions began to slow down, ending his exercises. Elrond Half-Elven… Thranduil sighed. He had lost his heart millennia ago and had regretted being so naïve ever since. His father had warned him not to trust the Peredhel, but he had assured Oropher that Elrond was different, that Elrond loved him. He had been such a fool!

 

Ending his routine, he sheathed his sword and sat down on the grass, cross-legged. Closing his eyes, he tried to clear his head, but failed. Involuntarily, his hand dipped beneath the leather armor to uncover the silver necklace that hung around his neck. He opened the medallion that was attached to it and reverently took out the single lock of dark hair.

 

Elrond had cut off a lock of his hair when they had made love for the first time, as a sign of their eternal love, and he had cherished it ever since, even though it now mocked the half-Elf’s former promises. Elrond had never loved him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elladan knew he shouldn’t be watching Thranduil, but his curiosity had been piqued, seeing the Elf leave the Last Homely House in such a hurry. He had also wondered about the angry expression in those green eyes and had followed him here. His heart had pounded, seeing Thranduil going through his training exercises and he wished he could handle a sword like that. There was an incredible fluency and elegance to Thranduil’s moves, which he had never managed to master. But then again, Thranduil had millennia of fighting experience to draw from.

 

His curiosity increased when Thranduil opened a silver medallion, revealing a dark lock of hair. Was it his wife’s? Elladan felt like an intruder and began to back away, but then a branch snapped beneath his feet, betraying his presence.

 

Thranduil’s head snapped up as he realized he wasn’t alone. “Show yourself!” He was back on his feet in a second and his hand rested on the hilt of his sword. His sharp eyes searched the thicket where the noise had come from.

 

Elladan stepped away from the coppice and stared guiltily at the earth. “I did not mean to spy on you.”

 

Thranduil relaxed; he had been worried that Eridhren had followed him. “Why are you here, Elladan? I was under the impression that you rarely left your brother’s side.”

 

“How would -you- know?” Elladan had made eye contact at hearing his name, surprised that Thranduil could tell him apart from his brother. The moment he had spoken the words, he realized how insolent they sounded. He was about to apologize when Thranduil raised a hand, signaling for him to remain silent.

 

“It may be hard to believe, but your father and I were friends once and I regularly make inquiries about his family. There are always Elves traveling through Mirkwood and they told me about you, your brother and Arwen.”

 

Thranduil’s interest in his family surprised Elladan. But Thranduil had said something else that had also caught his attention. “Ada and you were friends once?” Elrond had never mentioned such a thing.

 

Thranduil's smiled saddened and he sat down on the grass again. After a moment Elladan joined him, sitting down as well, and Thranduil was struck by the resemblance Elladan bore to his father. There was not a single trace of Celebrian in the half-Elf’s features. Oh, how Elladan reminded him of a young Elrond Peredhel!

 

“My lord?” Elladan frowned, seeing the distant expression in Thranduil’s eyes. Glorfindel was right; Thranduil was definitely a mystery!

 

“I was lost in thought,” offered Thranduil apologetically. “Aye, we were friends once, but that was before the Battle of the Last Alliance.”

 

Elladan suddenly remembered something and blurted it out. “Your father died at—“ Shocked that he had actually said that aloud, he quickly covered his mouth with his hand. What had possessed him to bring up such a painful memory?

 

Thranduil’s heart ached, recalling his father’s death, but he maintained eye contact with Elladan, knowing that the young half-Elf hadn’t meant any disrespect.

 

“I am sorry,” offered Elladan in a guilty tone.

 

Thranduil forced himself to smile weakly. “I accept your apology.”

 

Relieved, Elladan drew in a deep breath. There was now a tension between them that hadn’t been there before, and that was his fault. How could he make up for his stupidity? Maybe there was a way. “I watched you earlier and… You have great control over your sword. Would you teach me?”

 

Thranduil watched Elladan from under a raised eyebrow. “Teach you?”

 

“I am sorry - I am being forward, but—“ He stopped talking, realizing the ancient Elf was probably not interested in teaching him. Thranduil’s sparkling laugh took him aback and he stared at the blond. “What?”

 

“You remind me of Legolas,” said Thranduil, bemused. “Fetch your sword, then, and we will spar. Maybe I will even teach you one of my moves.” It was true; Elladan did remind him of his youngest. Legolas also had a way of winding him around his little finger, and Elladan possessed the same charming quality.

 

“I will be back in a few minutes!” Elladan jumped to his feet, a bundle of sudden energy. “Don’t go away! Stay here!” Enthusiastically he sprinted back to the Last Homely House, hoping Thranduil wouldn’t change his mind.

 

Thranduil shook his head in amusement, watching Elladan run. He had postponed visiting Imladris for millennia, afraid he might take a liking to the twins - and it was as he had feared. He liked them. They were full of life and energy, much like his own sons, but they also possessed Elrond’s charm. Grinning madly, he wondered what he had gotten himself in to by offering to teach Elladan.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Surprised, Glorfindel noticed that the door to Elrond’s study was ajar. Pushing it open, he scanned the room and immediately met Elrond’s gaze. The half-Elf seemed upset, maybe even nervous as he continued to pace frantically. “Is something wrong?”

 

Elrond came to halt, drew in a deep breath and then nodded his head. “So much is wrong. But what brings you here, mellon-nîn, when you should be watching over Erestor?” He had already instructed his guards to watch Eridhren’s quarters closely. Eridhren’s attempted assault still unnerved him. He had been able to get away from Eridhren, but he was afraid that Erestor hadn’t.

 

“We talked.” Glorfindel closed the door behind him to make sure no one could eavesdrop and then sat down in front of Elrond’s desk. He waited for the half-Elf to seat himself and then updated Elrond, telling him everything he had learned about Erestor.

 

Deep lines appeared on Elrond’s forehead whilst listening to the horrid tale. “I always suspected something very traumatic had happened to him in his youth. You have gained Erestor’s trust; he would not have confided in you otherwise. I am glad you managed to befriend him.”

 

“So am I.” Glorfindel had studied Elrond and had reached the conclusion that something else was upsetting the half-Elf. “What is troubling you? I can see it in your eyes. What is it?”

 

“Eridhren tried to assault me.”

 

Glorfindel’s eyes widened. “What?”

 

“He made suggestions that left little to the imagination.”

 

Finally Glorfindel understood. “He tried to sexually assault you? How insane is he? You are the Lord of Imladris!” He had seen Elrond fight. Eridhren was fortunate to be still alive.

 

Elrond raised a hand in an attempt to calm Glorfindel. “Nothing happened. Thranduil suddenly appeared and ordered Eridhren to return to his rooms. What happened after that incident was also interesting, however.”

 

Glorfindel felt lost. “Elrond, please, make sense!”

 

“Thranduil told me he is keeping Eridhren close to make sure he does not commit more horrible deeds. He is very much aware of Eridhren’s vile nature… And learning that Thranduil helped Erestor escape surprised me.”

 

“I understand your surprise. I felt the same way when Erestor told me his side of the story. If it had not been for Thranduil, Erestor might not have survived his father’s abuse.”

 

“I ordered for Eridhren’s rooms to be guarded,” said Elrond in a thoughtful tone. 

 

“Thranduil has already stationed some of his guards there as well.” Glorfindel exchanged a worried look with the half-Elf. “How do you want to proceed?”

 

Elrond rose to his feet, paced momentarily, and then came to a halt in front of the window to carefully consider the question. Staring out of the window, he said, “I want you to return to Erestor. He needs someone who he trusts close, and I hope you can deepen this beginning friendship between the two of you.”

 

Glorfindel nodded his head once. “I still blame myself for never looking behind the mask he used to wear. If only we had realized earlier how much he was hurting!”

 

“I tried to get through to him, but I failed.” Elrond looked over his shoulder at Glorfindel. “He decided to trust you. Use that to your advantage. He needs someone to confide in, to share his pain with. He might reconsider when the emotional pain he is in fully registers, but you cannot let him turn away again.”

 

“I will stay close to him at all times,” said Glorfindel, reassuringly. “And what about Eridhren?”

 

“I won’t allow him to leave his quarters until I have conferred with Thranduil. I want Eridhren to leave Imladris as quickly as possible, and I will forbid him to ever enter again.”

 

“A wise decision,” said Glorfindel, pleased. “And how will you proceed with Thranduil?” He knew he had to be tactful, having suspicions about Elrond’s past where it concerned Thranduil. Elrond had never confirmed his suspicions, but he felt strongly that their fallout could be the result of a lovers’ quarrel. It would also explain the tension he had sensed during Elrond and Thranduil’s sparse meetings.

 

“I will deal with Thranduil. Do not concern yourself with that.” Looking out of the window again, he frowned deeply, seeing Elladan leave in a hurry, carrying a sword. /Where is he going?/ Feeling the strong urge to find out, he dismissed Glorfindel. “Return to Erestor and guard him well. There is a matter I want to investigate.”

 

Glorfindel got to his feet. “I will keep you informed about Erestor.” After seeing Elrond nod, he stepped into the corridor and headed back to Erestor’s quarters.

 

Elrond gathered his robes around him and left as well, intent on tracking down Elladan and finding out his son’s intensions.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elladan ran back to the clearing, hoping Thranduil was still there, waiting for him. Searching his surroundings, he sighed, relieved, seeing the blond seated on the grass. Suddenly he recalled the medallion he had seen Thranduil open earlier; he still wondered whom that lock belonged to. But he put that thought aside as he came to a halt in front of Thranduil, panting softly. “You stayed.”

 

Thranduil smiled and rose to his feet. “You asked me to.”

 

“I was not sure you would.”

 

“I always keep my promises,” said Thranduil, bemused. Elladan was staring at him, wide-eyed, and now presented his sword. Thranduil rose to his feet, took it, and wielded it to test its balance. “It is a good sword,” he said, returning it to the half-Elf.

 

“Ada gave it to me when I reached my majority,” said Elladan in a proud tone, taking firmly hold of the sword and waiting for Thranduil to tell him what to do.

 

“Did he also teach you how to use it?” Thranduil drew his sword, studying the young half-Elf and seeing much of a younger, passionate Elrond in Elladan.

 

“Glorfindel did. Ada was too busy with formal matters.” Elladan assumed his position and blocked Thranduil’s attack, launching one of his own.

 

Thranduil easily warded off the blow and used one of his own patented moves to drive Elladan back.

 

Elladan started slightly when he was backed up against a tree. Thranduil moved too quickly for him and suddenly his sword flew through the air. Not even Glorfindel had ever managed to disarm him this quickly! Awed, his eyes sparkled and he greedily stared at the blond, hoping Thranduil would teach him that particular move!

 

Thranduil recognized Elladan’s eagerness to learn, and was inclined to indulge the young half-Elf and teach him; but then everything changed. Suddenly his trusted sword was knocked out of his hand, and he was flung hard onto the ground. Rendered speechless, he tried to catch his breath and stared at Elrond, who had grabbed Elladan’s sword and had now placed it against his throat.

 

Elrond glared at Thranduil. When he had arrived he had seen Thranduil threaten Elladan, and his instincts had taken over. “That is low, even for you.”

 

Elladan stared at his father in shock. Why was Elrond threatening Thranduil? He wanted to explain everything, but Elrond silenced him by raising his hand.

 

Elrond kept his attention focused on the blond and his features contorted in loathing from looking at Thranduil. “Your quarrel is with me, not my son. Don’t ever try to hurt Elladan again.”

 

“But Ada!” Elladan moved toward Elrond, but his father’s glare froze him in his tracks.

 

Thranduil’s anger rose. Ignoring the fact that the tip of Elladan’s sword was cutting into his throat and drawing blood, he returned Elrond’s glare. “I suggest you remove that sword now.” His tone was bitter and his eyes had turned cold..

 

“Ada, listen to me!” But Elladan didn’t get the chance to explain. Suddenly Thranduil was on his feet and Elrond had been disarmed. His sword was in Thranduil’s hand now. How had the blond done that? His father looked shocked as well.

 

Thranduil handed the sword back to Elladan and then faced Elrond. He could tell by the look in his former lover’s eyes that the half-Elf was raging inwardly, and only kept back because Elladan was present. “That fact that you think me capable of intentionally hurting your son is…” Lost for words, he shook his head. “I would never hurt him! Why would I?”

 

Elrond lost his patience. “When you cannot get to me you hurt them instead! I know you!”

 

“You do not know me at all,” said Thranduil in an oddly soft, almost gentle tone.

 

Elladan’s confusion was growing, watching the two of them. They looked like they were ready to tear each other apart and yet… There was something else hiding beneath the anger. He had never felt such a particular tension!

 

Thranduil’s tender tone caught Elrond off guard and he actually calmed down. Whilst still glaring at Thranduil, Elladan’s words finally registered.

 

“Ada, we were sparring. He agreed to teach me some of his maneuvers. It was not for real!” Elladan grabbed his father’s arm, finally getting Elrond to look at him. “I wanted to learn from him and he agreed to teach me!”

 

Elrond stared at Elladan in disbelief. “He was not--?” Now that Elladan’s words proved him wrong, he didn’t know how to react. Had he falsely accused Thranduil? “But I saw him—“

 

“I disarmed him to demonstrate one of my maneuvers. Elladan never was in any danger.” Thranduil’s eyes were frozen ice and all emotions were gone from them. “I think it is best when I discuss our plans for joined border patrols with Glorfindel tomorrow morning, instead of you. That way we do not have to meet again. I will leave tomorrow evening, and I will take Eridhren with me.”

 

Elrond only now fully realized his mistake, but he refused to apologize. He didn’t want Thranduil to gloat. “That would be best, yes.”

 

Thranduil nodded, and then smiled reassuringly at Elladan. “You will be a great swordsman one day. Just keep practicing.”

 

Elladan, lost for words, nodded as well, regretting the fact that this sparring match had caused such an argument between Thranduil and his father. He just couldn’t understand why Elrond had overreacted like that! Surely his father didn’t really believe that Thranduil was capable of hurting him? He knew his father well enough to realize that Elrond would never have allowed Thranduil to visit if he’d had doubts. What was this argument really about?

 

Thranduil no longer paid Elrond any attention and marched away from the two half-Elves, returning to his guest quarters. Any thoughts of possibly rebuilding some sort of friendship with Elrond were gone now.

 

“Ada? Why did you do that? You did not really think he would hurt me, did you?” Elladan struggled to understand, but failed.

 

“Aiya, Elladan…” Elrond sighed, dejectedly. “I made a mistake in judgment.”

 

“Then why do you not admit you were wrong? Why blame Thranduil?”

 

Elrond shook his head. He couldn’t tell Elladan the real reason behind their animosities. He didn’t want his son to know he’d had a brief affair with the blond.

 

Frustrated that his father wasn’t answering, Elladan shuffled his feet and saw that Thranduil’s sword still lay on the ground. He reverently picked it up. A thoughtful gleam appeared in his eyes. “Someone should return this to him. And I think it should be you. You owe him an apology, Ada.” The pleading expression in his father’s eyes took Elladan aback. “Why are you acting so strangely? I do not know you like this!”

 

“Don’t ask me to explain this to you.”

 

Elladan frowned. “Thranduil told me you were friends once. Why can you not be friends again? I do not know what happened between the two of you, but I think he would like to rebuild that friendship. There was a sad note to his voice when he spoke of the past. And why did you think he would hurt me? I do not understand you.”

 

Elrond slowly curled his fingers around the hilt of Thranduil’s sword and sighed, distressed. “There is a lot of history between us, much more than you know.”

 

Elladan’s hands dropped, forcing his father to take hold of Thranduil’s sword. “You take it back to him.” Stubbornly, he locked gazes with his father. “You chased him away, you give it back to him.”

 

Elrond wondered about Elladan’s stubborn streak. Celebrian would say he had inherited it from his father. “I will talk to Thranduil.”

 

“You should do more than talk. You should apologize for your behavior. You completely overreacted.”

 

“I did,” admitted Elrond slowly. “But I had my reasons.”

 

Elladan rested his hand on his father’s shoulder. “Ada, I do not know what happened between Thranduil and you in the past, but it must have happened centuries ago. Maybe it is time to talk about it and to let it go?”

 

“How did you go from stubborn to wise in seconds?” Elrond laughed warmly. Elladan never ceased to amaze him. “Would you like to spar with him again? He is a great warrior.”

 

“I would love to, but only if you can deal with it. I do not want you attacking Thranduil again.” Frustrated, Elladan wished his father would tell him what this was really about, but he knew Elrond well enough to know he wouldn’t confide in him. His father was good at keeping secrets. He nodded once and then left, figuring Elrond needed a moment to sort out his thoughts.

 

Elrond stared at Thranduil’s sword. The blond had named it before riding into battle at the Last Alliance. Nîn doll caun… My dark prince… Thranduil had named his sword after him. When he had found out he had laughed at Thranduil, and now that he recalled that moment, Thranduil had looked hurt. But that hadn’t registered with him at the time.

 

/I really hurt you in the past and I hurt you again today. That was never my intention. I do not know why I thought you were about to hurt Elladan. I should know you better. You might have an arrogant air about you, but you would never hurt my son./

 

Elrond hated himself for thinking that badly of Thranduil. /Elladan is right. I need to apologize. And we need to do more. We need to talk about the past and let it go, just like Elladan said./ 

 

Elrond turned around and walked toward the Last Homely House. Elladan was right; Thranduil and he needed to talk.

 

It was time he faced his past choices.

 

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 13

 

 

When Erestor awoke he felt warm and safe, and the first thing he noticed was Elrohir, whom he had cuddled up to during his sleep. Feeling embarrassed for invading the half-Elf’s personal space like that, he began to move away from him.

 

Elrohir woke and his gaze settled questioningly on Erestor. “Is something wrong?” The Noldorin Elf looked uncomfortable, but why? Elrohir released Erestor and stretched lazily. “I must have fallen asleep as well.” That had not been his intention; he had wanted to watch over Erestor, not join him in sleep.

 

“Why are you here?” Erestor slowly sat upright, pulled his knees to his chest, and wrapped his arms around them. After resting his head on his knees, he watched Elrohir curiously. He vaguely recalled pulling Elrohir into bed with him. Why had Elrohir let him do that? “Should you not be with Elladan?” He had warned Glorfindel to make sure the twins were safe, hadn’t he?

 

“I do not know where Elladan is,” said Elrohir, sitting upright as well. He swung his feet onto the floor and then rose from the bed. “You look rumpled,” remarked Elrohir in an amused tone. “Maybe a hot bath would help?”

 

Erestor shrugged. “I do not want to impose on you.”

 

Elrohir extended his hand, hoping Erestor would take it.

 

Erestor took hold of the offered limb and slowly rose from the bed, feeling slightly disorientated now that the emotional storm had passed. By Elbereth! He had actually told Glorfindel about the childhood abuse! Shaky, he looked at Elrohir. Did the young half-Elf know as well? He looked away; he didn’t really want to know the answer to that question.

 

Elrohir steered Erestor into the bathroom, pulled out towels and scented bathing oil, and filled the bathtub. “Do you need my help to remove that sleeping robe or can you manage alone?”

 

Erestor quickly nodded his head. “I can manage.” It was bad enough Glorfindel had seen him naked! The blond had already seen the scars at the back of his neck, and the last thing he wanted was for Elrohir to notice them as well.

 

Elrohir smiled understandingly and then closed the door behind him. Whilst Erestor was taking his bath, he instructed one of the servants to bring them dinner and hot tea. He knocked on the bathroom door to make sure Erestor was all right. “Is there anything you need?”

 

Erestor, who was just sitting down in the soothing, warm water, started slightly at the knock, but relaxed, hearing Elrohir’s voice. “No, I am fine.”

 

“Call if you need me.” Elrohir smiled, pleased that Erestor was relaxing slightly. He sat down in a chair and waited for the servant to return with their food.

 

Smiling, Erestor poured some of the scented oil into the water and a sweet, flowery fragrance filled the bathroom. He leaned back in the bathtub, closed his eyes, and simply enjoyed the peace and quiet, feeling rather drained after confessing his past to Glorfindel.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

They thought they had succeeded in confining him to his rooms, but Eridhren had sneaked out through the window and climbed back into the house, ending up in the same corridor as his son’s quarters were. Alert, he listened to the voices that emanated from the rooms to his right and he immediately identified his son’s voice. Listening closer, he heard a second voice, which belonged to Elrohir, Elrond’s youngest son. When he had joined them for dinner he had admired the twins, developing a particular liking for Elrohir. /This way I can get them both!/

 

A servant, carrying a tray filled with delicious food items, suddenly appeared to his right. Realizing he was heading for the rooms his son and Elrohir were in, Eridhren moved quickly. He sneaked up from behind, slung an arm around the servant’s neck and squeezed hard, cutting off the Elf’s air supply. After catching the tray with one hand, he slowly laid down the now unconscious Elf behind a curtain. He headed for the door and knocked.

 

“Who is it?”

 

Ah, Elrohir’s voice. Eridhren was already having visions of making the young half-Elf submit to him, and then he would have his way with his beautiful body. “I am bringing you dinner.”

 

Elrohir, not suspecting any danger, walked over to the door and opened it. His eyes widened, coming face to face with Eridhren. He wanted to scream in order to alert Erestor, but Eridhren quickly placed his hand over his mouth, keeping him from calling out.

 

Eridhren grinned, seeing the shocked expression on the half-Elf’s face. “I think I prefer you to your father. I like them young!”

 

Elrohir, furious with himself for getting caught this easily, tried to shake Eridhren off, but suddenly a knife appeared close to his throat, digging into his flesh.

 

Eridhren kicked the door shut behind him and steered a struggling Elrohir toward the fireplace. “Fight me and I will only hurt you more.”

 

Elrohir refused to surrender and managed to kick Eridhren’s shin. But the tip of the blade suddenly dipped beneath his skin, cutting into his flesh and he instinctively froze in his tracks. Erestor was in the next room and he had to make sure his former mentor stayed there! He had to prevent Eridhren from getting to him at all cost. “We are already on to you! We know what you really are. My father will deal with you!” He hoped his words would enrage Eridhren so the elder Elf would lose his calm and make a mistake.

 

“I will get to Elrond eventually,” sneered Eridhren, “but first I am going to try you. And then I am going to teach my son to never run away again!”

 

Elrohir doubled his efforts to free himself, hearing Eridhren’s threats. “I will make sure you never touch him again!”

 

“Ah, he told you then?” Eridhren was surprised. “I thought I had taught him only too well what punishment awaited him if he ever confided in someone.”

 

Enraged, Elrohir struggled, but he managed to free himself when Eridhren lost his footing. His attacker then held onto him in an effort to break his fall.

 

Elrohir hit the floor hard and his head banged into a wooden chest. Panting, his vision darkened momentarily, and he realized he was losing this fight. /I have to fight back; I have to protect Erestor… He depends on me!/ But the room was spinning and every attempt at rising to his feet failed. When his vision cleared, he saw that Eridhren was quickly advancing on him with a malicious grin on his face.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The noises coming from the bedroom startled Erestor, who froze and listened closely, trying to determine if something was wrong. He knew Elrohir was still in the next room, but… His eyes widened, hearing his father’s slithery voice. Eridhren had finally made his move, as he knew his father would.

 

He rose from the water, ignoring the droplets that dripped from his body. He didn’t bother to wrap a towel around himself; instead he removed one of the ceremonial daggers he had hung for decoration on the wall. Tightly curling his fingers around its hilt, he sneaked toward the doorway, slowing pushing the door ajar.

 

The scene, which now unfolded in front of him, nearly froze the blood in his veins. Elrohir was on his back, looking disorientated, and his father was straddling the twin’s hips, dragging a knife down Elrohir’s throat. Finally getting a look at the half-Elf’s eyes, he realized they were glazed; Elrohir was injured. Now it was up to him to save the young half-Elf. Hiding the knife behind his back, he stepped into the room.

 

Eridhren’s grin twisted, seeing Erestor emerge from the bathroom. “Naked already? That eager, child?”

 

Elrohir was slowly regaining his sight and now stared at Erestor. /What is he doing? Why did he not stay in the bathroom?/ Eridhren’s knife was still positioned near his throat and warm blood was dripping onto his robes from where the Elf had cut him. “Erestor, lock yourself up in the bathroom!”

 

But Erestor, feeling entranced, shook his head. “I won’t let him do to you what he did to me. I will stop him.”

 

Eridhren laughed coldly. “You? You want to stop me? Child, you never managed to stop me before.”

 

“I am older now, stronger.” Erestor tried to decide on a strategy. He wanted to disarm Eridhren without Elrohir being hurt in the process.

 

“We will see about that. Come here, child, obey me.” Eridhren pushed the knife deeper into Elrohir’s flesh as a warning.

 

“Erestor, do not listen to him! Leave this room, now!” Elrohir was growing frustrated. Why wasn’t Erestor listening?

 

Erestor surprised himself, feeling calm and calculating. Coming to a stop in front of his father, he met Eridhren’s gaze. “Your face has haunted me my entire life. I want it to stop.”

 

Eridhren frowned; what was Erestor talking about? “You had better do as I say, or this young one will pay dearly for your disobedience.”

 

Knowing he would only get one chance to disarm his father, Erestor carefully chose the right moment to act. As his father looked down to gloat at Elrohir, he moved forward.

 

But Eridhren realized something was wrong and raised his knife to ward off Erestor’s blow. Glaring at his son in disbelief, he grew furious. “How do you dare to attack me? Your own father?”

 

Erestor used this opportunity to push his father away from Elrohir, making sure the half-Elf was safe now. “Don’t you dare touch him! You will never hurt anyone again!”

 

Eridhren’s eyes caught fire and he raised his hand to bury his knife in Erestor’s chest.

 

Erestor felt paralyzed and his eyes seemed glued to the shiny blade that now descended slowly, aimed at his heart. Maybe it was best this way. What kind of life did he have left now that Glorfindel, and shortly the rest, knew what his father had done to him? Maybe it was better to join his mother in the Halls of Waiting instead of hanging on to his life. His father had never wanted him, and, except for the last few days, his life had been misery. Waiting for the knife to end his life, he was stunned when Elrohir pulled his legs away from underneath him, causing him to tumble onto the floor. At the same time an angry scream echoed through the room.

 

Glorfindel pounced on Eridhren, pushed him against the wall and tried to take possession of the knife. When he had heard their voices he had run down the corridor, only arriving just in time to keep Eridhren from plunging the blade into Erestor’s chest. “You bastard!” How had Eridhren managed to fool the guards in the corridor? But he could worry about that later; Eridhren was now aiming the tip of the knife at his throat and he had to stop the disturbed Elf.

 

Erestor stared at Elrohir, who was dragging him away from the two fighting Elves. Still feeling paralyzed, he allowed Elrohir to take hold of his dagger, vaguely wondering what the young half-Elf was up to.

 

Eridhren’s blade now touched Glorfindel’s throat and was beginning to pierce his skin. The Elda knew this was serious; Eridhren was capable of ending his life. Suddenly Eridhren released an angry whimper and the Elf’s eyes widened.

 

Elrohir staggered back, sank onto his knees next to Erestor, and both of them stared at the hilt of the knife sticking out of Eridhren’s side. The half-Elf wrapped his arms around Erestor, dragging him with him as Eridhren approached.

 

Eridhren’s eyes flashed madly in their sockets as blood began to drip from his lips. “You… You really…” He couldn’t believe that Elrohir had stabbed him!

 

Hearing his father’s voice awoke Erestor from his trance-like state and he realized that he was on his knees with Elrohir’s arms tightly wrapped around him. His father was prowling closer. They had to get away from him before Eridhren could hurt Elrohir. All he could think about was protecting Elrohir from his father. 

 

Glorfindel moved in quickly now that Eridhren’s back was toward him. Had the Elf gone truly insane, presenting himself as such an easy target? When Eridhren raised his hand, and aimed his dagger at Elrohir, Glorfindel acted. Pulling a knife from his boot, he raised his hand and buried the blade to the hilt in Eridhren’s back.

 

A keening wail left Eridhren’s lips as he hit the floor. His body suffered several rounds of convulsions, but then Eridhren grew motionless, Glorfindel nudged Eridhren with his foot to make sure he was dead.

 

Erestor gasped, seeing the pool of blood that was quickly forming beneath his father’s body. “Is he… dead?”

 

Glorfindel sat on his heels and searched for a pulse, which he didn’t find. “Aye, he is dead.”

 

Erestor blinked several times, trying to understand what had happened during these last few minutes. Everything had happened so quickly! Recalling that his father had attacked Elrohir, he quickly looked at the half-Elf and started to check him for injuries. “Did he hurt you? You are bleeding!” He encountered some drops of blood on Elrohir’s throat and checked the small wound with shaky hands.

 

“It is just a scratch,” said Elrohir reassuringly. Seeing the distant expression in Erestor’s eyes, he reached out and managed to grab a blanket, which he wrapped around Erestor’s naked body. “He did not hurt me.” Seeing Erestor’s big eyes brought tears to his. “It is true, mellon-nîn. I am unharmed.” Erestor’s fingertips still hovered above his throat and he repeated his words, hoping he would get through to the elder Elf this time. “I am fine, Erestor.” Elrohir signaled for Glorfindel to approach.

 

The blond sat on his heels next to them, taking Erestor into his arms. “It is over now. He is dead. He can never hurt you again.” Glorfindel buried Erestor in a warm hug, growing worried when the raven-haired Elf didn’t react. “Erestor? Can you hear me?”

 

Erestor blinked again, and this time Glorfindel’s voice registered with him. Staring at his father’s corpse, he shivered beneath the blanket. “How did… he… get in here?”

 

Elrohir guiltily bowed his head. “I let him in. I thought he was a servant bringing dinner.”

 

Glorfindel bit his bottom lip whilst tightening his hold on Erestor, who was now trembling violently. “The guards should have stopped him from leaving his quarters. You are not to blame, Elrohir.”

 

“What do we do now?” Elrohir got to his feet again and drew in a deep, steadying breath.

 

“Instruct one of the guards to take the corpse to the healing house,” said Glorfindel softly, “The healers will tend to the body.”

 

“Stay with Erestor,” replied Elrohir, who left Erestor’s rooms to instruct the guards. He also needed a private moment to sort out his thoughts. Then he would inform his father whilst Glorfindel took care of Erestor.

 

“Your hair is wet,” remarked Glorfindel, slightly puzzled.

 

“I was taking a bath when… when I heard him threatening Elrohir.” Erestor felt strangely calm now that his father was dead.

 

Glorfindel saw the shock in Erestor’s eyes and bestowed another warm hug on the shivering Elf. “We should leave this room.”

 

Erestor nodded once and allowed Glorfindel to help him to his feet.

 

Glorfindel made sure the blanket stayed in place whilst steering the dark-haired Elf into the corridor. “We will go to my rooms.”

 

Erestor hardly heard Glorfindel’s voice. He was still trying to comprehend what had just happened. His father was dead. Eridhren no longer presented a danger to him, and, for the first time in his life, he felt free.

 

Glorfindel had a vague idea of what was going through Erestor’s mind and chose to remain quiet during their walk to his quarters. He sat the dark-haired Elf down on the bed, searched the closet, and returned with a burgundy robe, made of soft, warm velvet. After pushing the blanket from Erestor’s shoulders, he dressed the absentminded Elf in the warm robes. “Better?”

 

Erestor finally pulled himself from his memories and looked at the blond. “Thank you,” he whispered, realizing very well that Glorfindel had probably saved his and Elrohir's lives.

 

Glorfindel pulled up a chair and sat down opposite Erestor, who extended his hands. Correctly interpreting that motion, Glorfindel clasped the dark-haired Elf’s hands in his, rubbing the skin. “Why don’t you tell me what happened? Maybe it will help you cope.”

 

Erestor nodded absentmindedly. “I was taking a bath when I heard his voice. I took one of your daggers and challenged him. I had to get him away from Elrohir!”

 

“You challenged him?” Glorfindel smiled proudly. “You stood up to him?”

 

“I tried to,” said Erestor, blushing slightly under Glorfindel’s proud look. “But I was no match for him. If it had not been for you—“

 

Glorfindel interrupted him. “But that does not matter. Don’t you understand, Erestor? You did not hide from him! You stood up to him and challenged him! You are much stronger than you think!” The look of surprise that Erestor gave him caused a sad smile to surface on his face. “You do not even know just how strong you are, do you?”

 

Erestor shook his head. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

 

And the sad thing was, Erestor really didn’t, realized Glorfindel. “When I got injured in that storm you set aside your own pain and took me back to Imladris. Do you have any idea how much courage and strength that took? You allowed Elrohir and I in; you finally put your trust in us. Again, do you even realize how courageous you are to do that? And now you defended Elrohir from your father.”

 

At a loss, Erestor simply stared at Glorfindel. What was the blond raving about?

 

Seeing the puzzled expression in Erestor’s dark eyes, Glorfindel settled for a warm, encouraging smile. “Do you want to go back to sleep?”

 

“I do not want to sleep. I cannot sleep, not after… He really wanted to hurt Elrohir.”

 

Glorfindel wisely held his tongue and kept silent about Eridhren’s attempt to assault Elrond. “But you stopped him. Elrohir is safe.”

 

“What do I do now?” Erestor nearly panicked as his feelings overwhelmed him. He felt adrift on a sea of emotions, helpless and without a beacon to guide him. He clung to Glorfindel instead.

 

The blond sucked in his breath when Erestor suddenly flung himself at him, enveloping him in a tight hug. He quickly brought up his arms behind Erestor’s back and returned the embrace. The fact that Erestor was no longer afraid to reach out encouraged him. Warm and fiercely protective feelings rose in his heart, as he hugged Erestor close. Suddenly, he recalled the dark-haired Elf’s question. “I will tell you what to do.” Erestor pleadingly looked at him, and he continued, “You will stay here, with me, and we will wait for your nerves to calm down.”

 

Erestor nodded slowly. That sounded logical.

 

“And then we will discuss the future.”

 

“What is there to discuss?” Erestor frowned, deeply.

 

“Things will change, are already changing,” said Glorfindel passionately. “I won’t allow you to hide any longer.”

 

Erestor sighed, dejectedly. “Things will go back to normal only too soon.”

 

“I do not think so.” Glorfindel placed two fingers beneath Erestor’s chin and lifted the dark-haired Elf’s head so they made eye contact. These warm and protective feelings, which he had identified moments ago, were blossoming, becoming stronger and more passionate. There was no denying that he greatly cared about Erestor, but there was more to it. He hadn’t felt like this for centuries. Was it really love that was blossoming inside his heart? And if it was, would Erestor ever feel the same way? Should he take the risk and reveal his attraction, which he suspected had been there for quite some time? This was hardly the right time. “You are afraid things will go back to normal then?”

 

Erestor, who had rested his head on Glorfindel’s shoulder, nodded. “I know they will, but…I do not want to be alone any more. I do not think I could deal with losing your friendship - or Elrohir’s for that matter. Having friends feels so… so warm. I never felt like that before. I do not want to lose that feeling.”

 

“You won’t,” vowed Glorfindel, passionately. Erestor’s face was only inches away from his, and he was overwhelmed by the urge to kiss the raven-haired Elf. He didn’t know if it was a wise thing to do, but he gave in, softly touching his lips to Erestor’s.

 

Erestor’s eyes widened and his breathing stopped momentarily, seeing Glorfindel lean in closer and then… then he felt soft lips against his for the first time in his life. The kiss was warm and gentle, and when Glorfindel pulled back, Erestor found he was panting softly. “Why did you do that?” He couldn’t think of a reason why the blond would possibly want to kiss him!

 

Glorfindel grew sad, seeing the confusion in Erestor’s eyes. “I do not know when it happened, but it seems I have fallen in love with you.”

 

“In love with me?” Erestor shook his head in disbelief. “Why do you say such a thing? Why hurt my feelings when I am already feeling miserable? I do not need you to lie to me.”

 

“Lie?” Glorfindel couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Why do you think I am lying?”

 

Erestor pulled back, freed himself of Glorfindel’s embrace, and folded his arms around his waist. “What is there to love? My sharp tongue? You cannot possibly love me. I do not believe it.” But the truth was that he was afraid to believe it. He had always hoped that someone would break through his defenses, but he couldn’t believe the Elda had developed feelings for him. “Look at you, Glorfindel. You are a mighty warrior, skilled diplomat and radiantly beautiful. Why would you love me?”

 

“You think I am beautiful?” Glorfindel’s smile grew brilliant. “Aye, you do.”

 

Erestor didn’t know how to react to that. It was the last thing he had expected Glorfindel to say.

 

“Erestor, you –like- me, do you not?” Glorfindel realized this would be tricky, but Erestor had just called him a skilled diplomat, so he figured he would manage. “Do you?”

 

“Aye, I like you,” whispered Erestor, averting his eyes. Why was Glorfindel doing this to him? “But I know you cannot love me and you do not need to pretend you do. I am more than happy to be your friend… if you will let me.”

 

Glorfindel slowly raised his hand and placed it against Erestor’s cheek, letting a fingertip trace the outline of the other Elf’s lips. “You never had a lover before…” he realized, wondering why he felt shaken when it was only logical that Erestor had stayed clear of relationships. “And you cannot believe I love you.”

 

Erestor nodded. “Glorfindel, I… I…” Lost for words, he bowed his head.

 

Glorfindel raised Erestor’s chin again. This time tears lurked in the dark eyes and he leaned in closer, gently kissing first one, and then the other eyelid. “Do not cry anymore, nîn amdir. You once said you hoped that some good was left on Arda, and I finally understand what you were trying to say. Will you give me a chance to prove myself to you?”

 

“What are you saying?” Erestor was trembling, feeling uncertain.

 

“I have fallen in love with you, Erestor.” Glorfindel stroked the long, still damp tresses. “I know this is new to you, but put your hope and trust in me, please.”

 

Erestor was at a loss for words momentarily and simply stared at the blond. “You cannot love me. No one ever has.”

 

Glorfindel’s gaze became stern, determined. “I do love you, nîn amdir. These feelings are new to me as well, but I want to explore them… with you.”

 

Erestor sighed, distressed. “I do not understand why you are doing this. No one has ever loved me. Why would you?”

 

Glorfindel realized that words wouldn’t get through to Erestor, so he leaned in and claimed the dark-haired Elf’s lips again, tender and patiently. When he pulled away, he saw a new, hopeful expression in Erestor’s eyes and he smiled, pleased. “I do love you and I will make you understand.”

 

Erestor quivered, hearing Glorfindel’s determined and passionate tone. “I wish I could believe you.”

 

His fingers now tangled in Erestor’s long hair and Glorfindel smiled warmly. “I will make you believe. I promise.”

 

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 14

 

 

Elrond actually felt nervous, standing in front of the door to Thranduil’s guest quarters. In his hand he still carried the blond’s sword, and he couldn’t help but wonder if coming here was the wrong thing to do. Maybe Elladan was wrong and he should be cutting all ties, instead of talking things through with Thranduil. In the end, he set aside his doubts and knocked.

 

“Enter!”

 

Thranduil sounded annoyed and Elrond pushed down the door handle, wondering just how cross the blond was with him. Maybe Thranduil would be more forgiving after he had apologized for attacking him earlier. After opening the door, he remained frozen in the doorway. Thranduil was in the process of removing his uniform, and was only wearing his leather breeches. The thing that instantly attracted his attention was the medallion around Thranduil’s neck, which looked awfully familiar.

 

Thranduil’s head snapped up, seeing Elrond enter, and he quickly slipped into a green shirt. Still frustrated from their earlier meeting, he sneered, “What do you want?” His eyes drifted lower and settled on his sword. He had planned to retrieve it after changing into a shirt and leggings. He icily stared at Elrond and barely refrained from snatching his sword from the half-Elf’s hands.

 

Elrond forced himself to remain calm, reminding himself that Thranduil had every right to be cross with him after the way he had acted earlier. Calmly, he said, “Elladan wanted me to return this to you - and he also told me to apologize.”

 

Thranduil raised an eyebrow. “Apologize?” He couldn’t recall Elrond ever apologizing to him before.

 

Elrond raised his hands and presented the sword to his former friend and lover. “You used this sword at the Battle of the Last Alliance. You even named it after me.” Meeting Thranduil’s eyes, he easily read the pain in them.

 

“Another mistake I made,” said Thranduil, embittered, taking hold of his sword. After sheathing it in his scabbard he placed it on the table.

 

“Mistake?” Elrond sighed, dejectedly. “I regret that you think about our time together in that way.”

 

“I regret losing my heart to you,” replied Thranduil softly. Pushing back a stray lock that had found a way into his face, he shrugged uncomfortably. “We were young and naïve. I should have listened to my father.”

 

Elrond swallowed hard, raised his eyes and met the blond’s stubborn gaze. “That locket… Is it the one I gave you after…?” His voice deserted him, recalling the first time they had made love.

 

“I assume you want it back?” Thranduil unclasped the necklace and offered it to Elrond with an unreadable expression in his eyes. “I was a fool to carry it with me all this time.”

 

Elrond finally realized just how hurt Thranduil really felt and raised a hand, stopping the blond from continuing. “Can we talk without having a fight?”

 

Thranduil placed the locket onto the table, next to the sword, and waited for Elrond to continue. He wasn’t taking the initiative, uncertain where the half-Elf wanted to take this. “I did not start it.”

 

Elrond held Thranduil’s gaze prisoner, seeing lost hope and hurt in the sea green eyes. “Can we sit down?” Their tempers had always been evenly matched and none of them wanted to admit they could have been wrong in the past.

 

Thranduil nodded and pointed at the chairs near the fireplace. After seating himself, he watched Elrond sit down as well, eyes still locked with his. “What do you want to discuss? The joined border patrols? Eridhren? Erestor?” He tried hard to maintain a dignified air, but inwardly he was still hurting.

 

“I want to talk about -us-,” said Elrond, taking the plunge into the deep. He had no idea how Thranduil was going to react, but felt he had to address this for both their sakes. Slowly, he rose to his feet and walked over to the table to retrieve the locket, which Thranduil had left there. After returning to his chair, he stared at the golden medallion.

 

Thranduil involuntarily held his breath. He had thought Elrond wouldn’t want to discuss this. He briefly considered snatching the locket from the half-Elf’s hand, but instead he felt paralyzed as his former lover opened it.

 

Elrond took out the lock of hair and studied it. “You kept it with you for all these millennia? What does that mean?”

 

/It means I loved you; I still do./ But Thranduil couldn’t say the words, couldn’t make himself that vulnerable again.

 

Now that Thranduil remained quiet, Elrond searched the blond’s eyes. During the brief time in which they had been lovers, those emerald eyes had never hidden things from him, but now their expression was guarded. He had to go first, or Thranduil would never meet him halfway. “I am sorry I turned my back on you when I became Gil-galad’s lover.” Looking into Thranduil’s eyes, he searched for emotions in vain. Sighing, he added. “Let me explain.”

 

Thranduil just inclined his head, not staying a single word yet. He was curious to learn what Elrond wanted to say.

 

“I really loved you.”

 

Thranduil snorted. “Cut the lies, Elrond.”

 

“It is not a lie!” Elrond rose to his feet and began to pace the room, unable to stay seated any longer. “I -did- love you, but Gil-galad—“

 

“Accursed be his name,” spat Thranduil venomously whilst his nails clawed the wooden armrest. 

 

Elrond flinched, hearing the venom in Thranduil’s voice, but in his heart he knew he deserved it. “Gil-galad was my hero, you know that, and when the High-King himself expressed an interest in me I was flattered.”

 

“You had caught his eye and he wanted you in his bed,” said Thranduil slowly, “He knew we were together, but that did not matter to him. He was used to getting what he wanted, and he wanted you. You went to him willingly, deserting me.”

 

“I was young,” said Elrond in a pleading tone. “I was flattered that he would want me! I worshipped him!”

 

“And so you went to him when he ordered you into his bed.” Thranduil’s tone softened. “I am not really cross with you, I assume. It is Gil-galad whom I blame for our… separation.”

 

Realizing that Thranduil was finally opening up to him, Elrond continued. “During many nights I asked myself if I really loved him. Being honest, I have to admit I was in love with the power he presented, his strength, maybe even his arrogance.” Looking at Thranduil, his gaze softened. “He was the complete opposite of you. He took what he wanted. That raw power attracted me.”

 

“Ah, so I made the mistake of being an attentive lover then? Would you have stayed true to me if I had treated you more harshly? Taken what –I- wanted? Is that it?” His anger, which had been subdued momentarily, rose again. “Maybe if I had told you to bend over and had taken my pleasure you would have stayed? Is that what you are telling me?”

 

Elrond cringed. “I am not proud of the way I acted when I was with Gil-galad. I gave in too easily, and allowed him to have his way with me because—“ Realizing he didn’t know the reason why he had let Gil-galad treat him like that, he sighed deeply. “Everything you said is true. He took his pleasure and never returned it.”

 

“Then why did you stay with him to the end?” Thranduil’s eyes flashed afire.

 

“I could no longer live without him. I needed him like I needed air to breathe.” Gil-galad had been an addiction, a dangerous addiction, and he had been drunk on power. He stopped his pacing and searched Thranduil’s eyes. “The sex was different, felt much more potent, and I craved it.”

 

Thranduil’s eyes narrowed. “You made your choice millennia ago. Why bring it up now?”

 

Elrond suddenly realized that he was here to admit the truth to Thranduil; a truth which had been hidden from him until a moment ago. “I was wrong. I made a terrible mistake by giving in to him.”

 

Thranduil suddenly rose from his chair. “Elrond, maybe it is time you left.” He didn’t know what games Elrond was playing, but he wasn’t going to play along.

 

“I mean it!” Elrond curled his fingers around the medallion. Walking up to Thranduil, he came to a halt in front of the blond. “I mistook lust for love. I threw it all away.” Acting instinctively, trying to truly get through to Thranduil, he grabbed the blond’s hand. “I did not see the love in your soul back then. I was blinded by Gil-galad’s splendor and power.”

 

Thranduil startled at the hold which Elrond now had on his wrist and tried to pull away, barely keeping himself from flinching. “Do not touch me, Elrond.”

 

But Elrond shook his head. “I realized just how much I longed to touch you.” His feelings were quickly drowning him. “Thranduil, I do believe I still have feelings for you.”

 

Thranduil laughed bitterly. “You have feelings for me? Elrond, do you really think I would open my heart again to have it crushed a second time? I know better now. After you left my heart locked itself away! Not even my wife could unlock it!” He had been holding on to his anger for years, and was afraid to let go now.

 

Elrond bowed his head, still clutching the locket. “Can you forgive me?”

 

Thranduil’s eyes widened. “Forgive you?”

 

“For being naïve and blinded by power. For throwing your love away for Gil-galad’s lust?” Elrond shyly lifted his gaze and met Thranduil’s. “I do not want us to continue like this, with this anger between us.”

 

Thranduil shook his head. “I am not sure I can forgive you.”

 

Elrond, wondering how to soften Thranduil’s heart, looked down, realizing he still had a firm hold on the blond’s wrist, actually holding him in place. With his fingers curled tightly around Thranduil’s, he raised the blond’s hand and rested it against his own chest, near to his heart and slipped the medallion into the hand of its rightful owner. “I can never undo the hurt I caused, but I can try to heal it. Will you let me try, or has your heart hardened so much that you will continue to lock me out? I am trying to make amends, nîn malthen glaur.”

 

Thranduil hated being this emotional and his eyes filled with tears. ‘My golden light.’ Elrond had called him that when they had been lovers. Just hearing it worsened his emotional pain. “Please, do not call me that.”

 

Elrond could tell Thranduil’s resolve was faltering. He recognized the soft expression in the blond’s eyes and raised his hand, placing its palm against Thranduil’s cheek, tenderly stroking the silken skin. “There was a time when you smiled, hearing me call you that. When your eyes filled with a radiance that warmed my heart. Did I really smother that fire and take away the glow from your eyes?”

 

Thranduil could no longer maintain eye contact and averted his eyes. “Stop this, Elrond.”

 

“No,” said the half-Elf firmly, realizing he might still have a chance at befriending Thranduil again, and maybe, just maybe, there was still a spark of love left in their hearts. Could it be rekindled after all these millennia? Did he have the courage to try? “You kept that medallion with you because you still care. Tell me, nîn malthen glaur, do you still love me? Does your heart still beat for me, even whilst it remains locked away in darkness?”

 

Thranduil turned away from Elrond, but found that the half-Elf was still holding onto his arm. “Let go of me. I won’t be part of this charade any longer.”

 

Elrond’s heart contracted painfully, fully realizing for the very first time how much he had hurt Thranduil by being with Gil-galad. “You truly loved me.”

 

Thranduil sighed, resigned, and nodded once. “I want you to leave now.”

 

But Elrond shook his head. “I was stupid enough to let you go once before and I refuse to make the same mistake twice.” Using his hold on Thranduil, he forced the blond to face him again. He let go of Thranduil’s wrist, and placed his hands on either side of his former lover’s head, staring deeply into his sea green eyes. “I have to take this chance. I might never be in this position again.” Leaning in, his lips claimed Thranduil’s, engaging them in a slow and lazy kiss.

 

Staring at Elrond in disbelief, Thranduil's eyes widened, feeling the half-Elf’s lips against his. His first instinct was to pull away from the kiss, but then Elrond’s hands slipped lower, wrapping themselves around his waist and pulling him closer in an unexpected burst of passion. Paralyzed, he let Elrond deepen the kiss and he sighed contently when the half-Elf’s tongue slid into his mouth. By Elbereth, what was Elrond doing to him? He was quickly losing himself in the kiss, the embrace, and surrendered to the warm lips pressed against his.

 

Elrond released the blond’s lips, and whilst staring into Thranduil’s eyes, he saw their former love being reborn in them. The love and the passion had always been there, and now emerged again victoriously. “Will you give us a second chance at love?”

 

Rendered speechless, Thranduil simply stared Elrond, who did seem sincere. That kiss had taken him aback and was bringing back memories which had been buried for millennia. He couldn’t deny the truth to himself; he still loved Elrond. He had never stopped loving him, but did he want to risk another heartbreak?

 

“Do not answer at once,” said Elrond, realizing Thranduil needed to carefully consider his proposal. He didn’t blame the blond for being cautious; he was probably afraid of being rejected again. “Take your time to reach a decision. I won’t pressure you.” He regretted letting go of the blond, but stepped away from him, giving him some personal space. “Would you reconsider leaving tomorrow? I would like you to stay longer. Even Elladan wants to spend some time with you. You greatly impressed him with your sword fighting skills.”

 

Thranduil was at a loss. Elrond had totally confused him and he wasn’t sure how to react. He could still feel Elrond’s lips against his, burning them. His heart urged him to stay, but his head advised him differently, warning him that he would be hurt again.

 

“Nîn malthen glaur, do not take away your light from my life. Until now I did not know just how much I missed you.” Nervously, Elrond searched the green eyes. “Please stay.”

 

“I cannot decide now. I need time to—“ Thranduil was interrupted when the door to his rooms was flung open by one of his guards.

 

“My lord, Eridhren has escaped! He is no longer in his room!” The guard guiltily lowered his gaze. “I do not know how he escaped.”

 

“Erestor!” Thranduil exchanged a look with Elrond, seeing his concern reflected in those blue eyes. “We must check on him!” Thranduil marched out of the room, quickly followed by Elrond. They headed for Erestor’s rooms, hoping they were still in time.

 

Suddenly Elrohir appeared from around the corner, and Elrond gasped, seeing droplets of blood clinging to his son’s throat. “Elrohir, what happened? Where is Erestor?”

 

Elrohir sighed heavily. “Erestor is safe. Eridhren tried to get to him, but Glorfindel stopped him.”

 

“Where is Eridhren?” Thranduil didn’t know how to deal with Eridhren, but he was determined to make sure the disturbed Elf wouldn’t trouble anyone ever again.

 

“Dead,” said Elrohir in a neutral tone, trying to stay in control of his feelings. This was not the time or place to show his emotions. “He tried to attack me and Glorfindel stopped him.”

 

Thranduil failed to stop the relieved sigh that now left his lips. “Maybe his troubled soul will find peace in Mandos.” Shaking himself from his musings, he addressed Elrohir. “And Erestor? Where is he?”

 

“In Glorfindel’s rooms.” Elrohir’s gaze shifted from Thranduil to his father. “He is fairly shaken. He saw his father die. Maybe you should look in on him.”

 

“We will,” said Elrond, signaling for Thranduil to follow him. “Elrohir, go find Elladan and stay with him.” He wished he could stay with his youngest son, but he had to check on Erestor first. “I will join the two of you later!”

 

Elrohir nodded listlessly and headed for his rooms, hoping to find Elladan there.

 

Thranduil followed Elrond, hoping Erestor hadn’t been injured. He would always feel guilty for not having helped Erestor escape earlier.

 

Elrond came to a stop in front of Glorfindel’s door and knocked. “Erestor? Glorfindel?”

 

Inside the room, two pairs of eyes now stared at the door. Erestor, still shaken after hearing the Elda’s confession, didn’t feel like answering Elrond’s questions, but he also knew he couldn’t turn him away. Glorfindel’s questioning look made him sigh and nod his head. “Tell him to enter.”

 

Glorfindel softly called out, telling Elrond to enter the room. Only a few days ago he would have been surprised to see Thranduil step inside as well, but not any longer. He now knew what the Lord of Mirkwood had done for Erestor in the past.

 

Thranduil suddenly passed Elrond by, and sat on his heels next to the bed, quickly claiming one of Erestor’s hands. “Did he manage to hurt you?”

 

Erestor’s soft gaze settled on Thranduil, smiling reassuringly. “He did not get the chance to hurt me. Elrohir and Glorfindel protected me.”

 

Glorfindel shook his head. “Erestor forgets to mention that he defended Elrohir when Eridhren went after him.” Glorfindel smiled proudly. “He stood up against his father. In the end he overcame his fears.”

 

Thranduil felt proud as well, hearing Glorfindel’s praise. “I cannot help remembering a scared Elfling, running away from his father and hiding behind my throne. I should have found a way to intervene before things got out of hand.”

 

“You did your best.” Erestor freed his hand from Glorfindel’s hold and slowly leaned in closer, tentatively folding his arms around Thranduil’s shoulders.

 

Thranduil was pleasantly surprised when Erestor reached out to him for the first time in his life. When Erestor had still been an Elfling, he had only allowed Aewithôn to touch him. He gently returned the embrace and smiled warmly when Erestor’s gaze met his. “I was worried he had inflicted more pain on you, but you seem to have come out of this stronger.”

 

“I feel stronger,” admitted Erestor, still looking into Thranduil’s eyes. He prided himself on not flinching when he felt Glorfindel rub his back. “I finally made some friends here.” He smiled shyly when Thranduil’s eyes sparkled with happiness. Something had changed inside him when he had stood up against his father. “Thank you for looking out for me in the past. You helped me escape from his reign of terror. Without you, I might be dead now. I do not think I would have survived much longer.”

 

“I wish I could have done more for you,” admitted Thranduil. Erestor finally let go of him and he slowly rose to his feet. Seeing the way Erestor leaned into Glorfindel, he realized the Elda had gained his trust. “Do you want me to stay or…?” Was he reading Glorfindel’s body language correctly? The Elda did seem very protective of Erestor and there was a warm expression in the blond’s eyes. Thranduil cocked his head; could it be love? He certainly hoped so. Erestor deserved to be loved.

 

“I will stay with him.” Glorfindel met Thranduil’s eyes and the two Elves reached a silent understanding.

 

“Take good care of him,” said Thranduil, addressing the Elda.

 

“I will.” Glorfindel realized Thranduil had just given him his approval - his blessing, even - to court Erestor, which felt strange, as Erestor wasn’t Thranduil’s son. But he did understand Thranduil; Erestor was special to the King of Mirkwood.

 

Elrond, who had been quiet during the entire exchange, now walked toward Thranduil and came to a halt next to him. “I am sure that Glorfindel will manage, and I want to look in on Elrohir. He seemed rather shaken.”

 

“He is unhurt,” said Erestor, thoughtfully. “I stopped my father from getting to him.”

 

Elrond’s eyes widened, realizing what Erestor’s words truly meant. “He tried to assault my son?” He almost regretted Eridhren was dead, for he felt the overwhelming urge to avenge his son.

 

Erestor shivered. Elrond’s questions were making him feel uneasy.

 

And Glorfindel noticed that. “Elrond, I suggest you check on Elrohir.”

 

“Where is Eridhren’s corpse?” asked Thranduil unexpectedly.

 

“In the healing house. The healers there will prepare his body for his last journey into the flames.” Eridhren’s body would be burned when the moon rose next.

 

Thranduil nodded; he would make all necessary preparations for that last ceremony, not wanting to bother Erestor with them. “You should rest,” said he, addressing Erestor. “You have been through a lot this last hour.”

 

“Thank you for your concern,” replied Erestor, still very much aware of the soothing circles which Glorfindel was rubbing on his back.

 

“Thranduil, I need to look in on Elrohir, now.” Elrond left the room and stepped into the corridor, counting on him to follow.

 

Glorfindel cast a curious look at Thranduil, wondering if his suspicions had been right from the start. Had it been a lover’s quarrel which had now been resolved?

 

Thranduil inclined his head in goodbye and quickly caught up with Elrond, falling into step beside the half-Elf. “Would you prefer me to leave you alone?”

 

“No, whilst I talk to Elrohir I want you to make sure Elladan does not get upset when he learns his brother was assaulted.”

 

Thranduil’s eyes grew big in surprise. Elrond really wanted him present? Why?

 

Elrond noticed the confusion in Thranduil’s eyes, and wished he could explain his need to know him close, but they had reached the twins’ rooms and he entered without knocking. “Elrohir? Elladan?”

 

The twins were surprised to their father, but they were absolutely stunned to see Thranduil as well. “Ada?” said Elrohir, questioningly. What were Elrond and Thranduil doing here?

 

Elrond immediately headed for Elrohir, who was sitting on the bed, with Elladan behind him, combing and braiding his hair. “Erestor told me what happened.” Recalling that he had seen droplets of blood earlier, his fingertips probed his son’s throat, making sure the wound wasn’t serious.

 

Elrohir now understood what this was about and smiled reassuringly at his father. “I am well, Ada. Nothing bad happened to me. He just drew some blood.”

 

Elrond looked from Elrohir to Elladan. “He told you?”

 

“He was in the process of telling me when you entered.” Elladan cast a sly look at his father and then at Thranduil. Most of the tension which he had sensed earlier seemed gone now. “We will be fine, Ada.”

 

To his surprise Elrond realized he was being dismissed. His sons had just told him they didn’t need him to comfort them, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

 

Elladan caught his father’s confusion and momentarily placed in his hand on Elrond’s.  
”Ada, you are the host. Should you not be taking care of your guest? Thranduil looks quite lost.” His instincts told him there was still some unfinished business between the two elder Elves.

 

Thranduil felt confused as well, wondering why Elrond wanted him here in the first place. This was obviously a private, family moment.

 

“Are you sure?” asked Elrond, searching Elrohir’s eyes. Finding no trace of fear or panic in them, he sighed, relieved. “You can always talk to me.”

 

“We know that, Ada.” Elladan squeezed his shoulder lightly and Elrohir followed his twin’s gaze, realizing he was staring at Thranduil. Why had their father brought him along?

 

Elrond rose from the bed, still searching Elrohir’s eyes. He would never forgive himself if he left whilst his youngest son needed him. But Elladan’s presence seemed to soothe Elrohir sufficiently. “I will check on you later,” announced Elrond.

 

Elrohir nodded his head once, knowing that his father couldn’t help being concerned.

 

Thranduil stepped into the corridor and Elrond joined him after closing the door. Facing the half-Elf, he wondered what to do.

 

Elrond, feeling tired, rested his hand on the blond’s shoulder. “Would you stay with me a little longer? I really want to talk to you some more.”

 

Thranduil couldn’t deny the half-Elf, realizing Elrond really wanted his company. “I will sit with you, and maybe we will talk.”

 

Taking heart, Elrond smiled. He even indulged himself and caressed a strand of blond hair, instantly catching the confusion and unease in the blond’s eyes. Regretfully he let go of the golden lock and started down the corridor, guiding Thranduil to his quarters. After everything that had happened tonight, he hoped that talking to his old friend might help him calm down.

 

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Dinîf en Qualen.

Part 15

 

 

Glorfindel reluctantly released Erestor and slowly got to his feet. Seeing the dark-haired Elf’s distressed expression, he instantly soothed Erestor. “I just want to ask a maid to bring us hot tea and something to eat. Or would you prefer hot herbal wine?” He had seen Erestor drink it before; the counselor was one of the few Elves who liked it that way.

 

Erestor let go of Glorfindel’s hand and watched the blond walk toward the doorway, his eyes never leaving the Elda’s form. “Warm wi--” His voice faltered, making it impossible for him to finish his sentence.

 

“I will take that as a yes,” said Glorfindel, teasingly. He opened the door, called out to a maid, and asked her to bring warm wine, hot tea and something to eat. She hurried away after assuring him that she would return shortly.

 

Erestor’s puzzled gaze followed him around the room as he picked up blankets and spread them onto the floor in front of the fireplace. Glorfindel added a pile of pillows and then turned around, smiling warmly at Erestor.

 

“What are you doing?” asked Erestor, puzzled. Glorfindel raised a hand and signaled for him to join him near the fireplace. He shakily got to his feet and swayed slightly when walking toward the blond. “What do you want me to do?”

 

“You said you did not want to go to sleep yet, but I do think you need to rest. The fire will keep us warm whilst we recover from today’s events.” Glorfindel felt saddened, seeing Erestor’s surprised expression. The raven-haired Elf was still surprised that someone wanted to take care of him. “You are already wearing warm and comfortable robes, but I am not. I will change into some as well. Why don't you lie down now?”

 

Erestor nodded hesitantly, uncertain what was happening. After gathering his robes close to his body, he sat down, cross-legged. Wondering what Glorfindel was doing, he looked over his shoulder and immediately averted his eyes again. The blond had just stepped out of his leggings and was now slipping into blue robes. He had never seen Glorfindel naked before and wasn’t sure how to react, so he simply looked away.

 

A knock on the door alerted Glorfindel, and after opening it, he took the tray from the maid, kicked the door shut and joined Erestor in front of the fireplace. He placed the tray on the floor next to him and handed the dark-haired Elf a slice of bread, topped with cheese.

 

Erestor wanted to decline, but seeing Glorfindel’s determined expression, he took a bite and began to munch. He was becoming increasingly nervous now that it was just the two of them in this rather intimate setting.

 

Glorfindel poured the warm wine into a goblet and handed it to Erestor. “How do you fare? Do you still feel shaken?”

 

Erestor shrugged, and then sipped his wine slowly. “I am not sure. I still cannot believe he is dead.”

 

Glorfindel sipped his tea and studied Erestor extensively, searching for clues as to how the raven-haired Elf was really feeling. “You were very courageous to stand up to him. You should be proud of yourself.”

 

“I did not have a choice.” Erestor gulped down the rest of the wine now that it had cooled, and placed the empty goblet onto the floor.

 

Glorfindel noticed how badly Erestor’s hands were shaking and carefully considered his next step. He wanted Erestor to feel truly safe and secure. Slowly, giving Erestor a chance to get used to his closeness, he enfolded the dark-haired Elf in his arms and pulled him into a lying position. After a moment of hesitation, Erestor rested his head against his chest and Glorfindel sighed in deep contentment. The fire blazed warmly and he indulged himself, watching the glow play over Erestor’s dark hair.

 

Feeling confused, Erestor wondered what would happen next. He felt strangely at peace in Glorfindel’s arms and stared at the fire as well. Slowly, Glorfindel pulled him closer and acting without thinking, he curled his body around the blond’s, trying to get as close as possible. Glorfindel’s reaction was to hug him even closer, which he allowed. He couldn’t remember ever being held this close before. It was a strange and confusing feeling, and yet it was comforting as well.

 

A comfortable silence descended over them and Glorfindel felt more than content to just hold Erestor in his arms. Unable to keep back, he placed a chaste kiss on the top of Erestor’s dark hair. “Be at peace, melamin. Everything is well now. You can let go and rest.”

 

Glorfindel’s words brought tears to Erestor’s eyes. Thranduil had tried to make him feel safe and cherished when he had been an Elfling, but knowing that Eridhren would continue to make his life miserable had sabotaged the elder Elf’s attempts. But now that his father was dead, he was able to let go. The warm, herbal wine helped him relax and slowly he slipped into a comfortable state between waking and sleep.

 

Glorfindel felt Erestor relax against him and smiled, pleased. “You are safe now, nîn amdir.” Erestor sighed deeply and the blond tightened his hold. “And I will continue to watch over you.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Thranduil tentatively followed Elrond into the half-Elf’s private chambers. He still wondered why Elrond wanted him here, but decided to wait a little longer before asking questions.

 

The dark-haired Elf looked tired, even upset, and he now walked over to the window, looking into the night that was descending over them. Elrond’s gaze drifted lower, onto the commode beneath the window, where Vilya lay on a bed of red velvet. Once more, Elrond was reminded of his time with Gil-galad. Hearing Thranduil’s sharp intake of breath, he looked over his shoulder. Following the blond’s gaze, he realized Thranduil was also staring at the ring of power.

 

Fury crept back into Thranduil’s green eyes. He wanted Gil-galad’s presence eradicated from their lives, but by giving Vilya to Elrond the High King had gained a constant place in the half-Elf’s life. “Why do you want me here? I would prefer to return to my rooms.” Seeing that ring reminded him of what he had lost: Elrond’s love.

 

Elrond quickly covered the distance between them and grabbed Thranduil’s wrist to keep him from leaving, using just enough force to make his point. “I want you to stay.”

 

“You want… You want…” mocked Thranduil, “It is always about what -you- want! You wanted Gil-galad to want you and he did.” Thranduil’s eyes shot dangerous daggers at Elrond, making the half-Elf flinch. “I do not know what you hope to accomplish by making me stay, but it is not working. I should leave you alone with your memories. Gil-galad will always stand between us.”

 

Elrond saw the fierce fire in Thranduil’s eyes and finally realized what he had to do to get through to the blond. But was he prepared to take that step? Thranduil began to pull away from him, and that movement prompted him into action. With one strong jerk, he pulled the blond close and wrapped his arms around Thranduil, claiming those luscious lips to deliver a bruising kiss to them.

 

Elrond’s sudden aggressiveness momentarily startled Thranduil. It was the last thing he had expected the half-Elf to do. His eyes widened, feeling Elrond’s hand cup his buttocks, pressing him close and rubbing himself against him. Sparks of passion and lust erupted inside him, making him moan into Elrond’s mouth.

 

Closely monitoring Thranduil’s reaction, Elrond wondered when the blond would either push him away or take control of the kiss. Claiming Thranduil in this manner was risky, but he felt that he didn’t have any options left. Nudging the other’s lips and teeth apart, he took possession of that warm, moist cavern and explored it at leisure, struck by how familiar and right this felt.

 

Thranduil finally fully realized what was happening and reacted accordingly. Bringing his hands up behind Elrond’s back, he buried his fingers in the long, dark hair and applied just enough force to make the half-Elf gasp in surprise, whilst turning the tables and invading the raven-haired Elf’s mouth as well, engaging his tongue in a duel for dominance. They had fought before and he already knew how this would end, providing they followed through.

 

Elrond’s eyes burned with a dark glow as his passion was answered with another tug at his hair. Words wouldn’t get him anywhere; it was time to let his deeds speak for him. Clutching Thranduil’s head, he dived onto the now bruised lips, passionately licking the inside of the blond’s lips and taking back control of their kiss.

 

Using his hold on Elrond, Thranduil forced the half-Elf to take several steps toward the wall until his back hit the bricks. His fingers tangled in the long, raven locks and when he broke the kiss, he hissed at Elrond. What was it that Elrond really wanted?

 

Seeing the puzzlement in the blond’s eyes, Elrond quickly slipped one hand into Thranduil’s breeches. Squeezing a perfectly rounded buttock, he panted hard. “I want you.”

 

Thranduil thought he had misheard. “What game are you playing, Peredhel?” He curled his fingers around strands of dark hair and stared deeply into the half-Elf’s blue eyes.

 

“No games.” Elrond pressed his body closer to Thranduil’s so the blond could feel his arousal. There was only one way to settle this matter between them. Providing Thranduil agreed to this, their lovemaking would be fast and furious. “You mocked me earlier about my wants, but I still want you. And I do not want it be just one night. I want restored what we once had.”

 

Thranduil was at a loss. Elrond’s arousal pressed against his hip and he had grown hard with need as well. He didn’t fool himself into believing that this was about love. This was about lust, the need to find release and to let go of the tension that had existed between them for millennia. “Who says I want you?” he sneered, unwilling to give in this easily. One of Elrond’s hands suddenly cupped his arousal, squeezing teasingly.

 

“-This- tells me how much you want me,” whispered Elrond hoarsely. His other hand still fondled the blond’s buttocks and he could barely refrain from letting his fingertips dip into the cleft. “I want you. I want to be inside you.”

 

Thranduil trembled. For how long had he wanted to hear Elrond say those words? But could he continue? Did he want what Elrond offered? The half-Elf had said he wanted more than a single night of lust and passion, but he doubted it was the truth. In the morning they would go back to hating each other. Was he really willing to give in to Elrond and surrender like he had done when they were young? Was what Elrond offered enough?

 

He gasped in surprise when Elrond’s fingers undid the laces to his breeches, causing his erection to bob free from his confines. Fast and agile fingers curled themselves around his weeping member and his eyes darkened with lust. Yes, he would take what Elrond offered, even if that meant suffering more heartache.

 

Elrond licked his lips, seeing a dark gleam appear in the blond’s eyes. Removing his hand from Thranduil’s buttocks, he wrapped one arm around him and slowly laid him down on the furs on the floor. “Let me pleasure you…”

 

The sensual tone to Elrond’s voice traveled directly to Thranduil's groin, causing his erection to twitch in anticipation. Elrond removed his breeches with practiced moves and then straddled him. He trembled beneath the half-Elf’s touch. This was so unexpected, so unreal.

 

Elrond bowed forward, licked his lips and closed them around the blond’s aching erection. Thranduil arched beneath him and he quickly slid one hand beneath the blond’s buttocks, teasing his cleft. His lover gasped beneath him and bucked hard.

 

Relaxing his throat, Elrond allowed Thranduil to bury himself deeper, and he sucked greedily. He massaged the blond’s guardian ring, already preparing him for the penetration that would follow quickly. The need to release this tension was urging them on.

 

Thranduil moaned deliciously, and the sound reverberated in his straining member, which was now slick with pre-ejaculate. Elrond lapped at the hard flesh, and then pulled back, realizing his lover was close to orgasm - too close. “Roll onto your stomach, nîn glaur.”

 

Thranduil couldn’t help but waver momentarily. He craved Elrond’s touch, he had done so for so long, but could he make himself that vulnerable again? Suddenly, soothing fingers stroked the insides of his thigh and he was gently being rolled onto his stomach whilst a pillow was pushed beneath his hips. His erection now rubbed against the fabric and he bit his bottom lip, trying to hold back his release.

 

Elrond’s hands kneaded the soft mounds of flesh in front of him. “You are as beautiful as I remember, nîn glaur.” He quickly removed his robes and threw them onto the floor. Naked now as well, he straddled Thranduil, massaging the blond’s buttocks and occasionally dipping into the cleft to deliver a teasing caress to the twitching ring of muscle. “Soon, melethron.” The little, needy moans that escaped Thranduil’s lips were slowly driving him mad with desire.

 

Thranduil’s hands became fists, feeling Elrond flip his hair forward and then slowly drag the silken mass over his back. The sensation nearly made him come and he mutely pleaded for release. The fact that Elrond still remembered how much he loved to feel those silk locks caress his naked flesh shocked him. What else did Elrond remember?

 

Elrond smiled warmly and separated the soft globes with one hand, massaging the guardian ring with the other. Without warning, he flicked his tongue at the small opening.

 

Thranduil released a tormented whimper, as a soft, wet sensation slid into him. He pushed himself up onto all fours; spreading his legs and presenting himself to the half-Elf. When they had been lovers, Elrond had always prepared him for their lovemaking in this way. And now the half-Elf was doing it again.

 

Deeply touched by Thranduil’s trust in him, Elrond licked and teased, making the blond squirm and beg his need. Pulling back, he slowly probed the now slick opening with one finger. He released a pleased groan when his lover eagerly accepted the intrusion, even pushing back to take in more.

 

“Now… Take me now… End this torment!” Thranduil was panting, already pushing back, trying to get Elrond to act faster. His body ached to reach its climax!

 

Elrond curled his fingers around his throbbing erection and positioned himself at the small opening. Grabbing the blond’s hips, he pushed inside, releasing a content sigh. A tight heat engulfed him, causing him to lose control, penetrating the blond deeper.

 

Thranduil released a sharp yelp when Elrond entered him and he threw back his head in wild abandon. With the intrusion came pain and he gritted his teeth, hoping the discomfort would quickly change into pleasure. Looking over his shoulder, he hoped the half-Elf understood his silent plea.

 

Nodding, Elrond continued to sheathe himself and didn’t stop until he was buried to the hilt. “Do not move. Not yet.” He wanted to savor this moment.

 

Now that Elrond filled him completely, Thranduil trembled with need, eager for the half-Elf to thrust and rub his sweet spot so the shallow pain that still coursed through him would finally disappear. Suddenly Elrond’s hands soothingly stroked his back and then the half-Elf thrust for the first time. Groaning, he pushed back, and in the process his lover rubbed that sweet spot, sending waves of impending ecstasy through his body.

 

Elrond leaned in closer and rested his upper body on Thranduil’s. The weight pushed the blond down, who now collapsed onto his stomach, allowing Elrond to thrust deeper into that tight, hot channel. Biting Thranduil’s neck, his thrusts became harder, faster, and more erratic as he approached orgasm.

 

Thranduil’s fingers clawed at the furs beneath him, and his erection just got enough friction to send him over the edge. His eyes closed, his body quavered and he released a strangled moan, finally reaching his climax. Elrond continued to thrust, driving himself even deeper into Thranduil's body, and Thranduil allowed it, basking in a sensual glow that quickly spread throughout his entire body.

 

Spasms contracted around his member, making Elrond bite deeper into his lover’s skin, drawing blood. Thrusting harshly, he finally reached orgasm as well. He now was a dead weight, keeping Thranduil from moving.

 

Both of them were panting and Elrond licked the blond’s back, trying to make up for the bite mark that would show for days at the back of Thranduil’s neck. He knew he should pull out, but lacked the strength. Instead, he surrendered to the lazy sensation coursing through his body.

 

Thranduil, however, felt exhausted and Elrond’s weight was making it harder for him to breathe and recover. He managed to cock his head and looked at the exhausted half-Elf, hoping that Elrond would roll off of him.

 

Seeing the tired expression in the green eyes, Elrond slowly pulled out, soothing the blond when Thranduil released a distraught moan. He rolled onto his side, enfolded his lover in an embrace and pulled him along. Now they lay facing each other, holding the other close. The tension between them was gone and had been replaced with something else, something new.

 

Feeling at a loss, Thranduil wondered what would happen next. A nauseating feeling coursed through him. Had Elrond simply used him? He fought down an embittered laugh; he had –allowed- Elrond to use him in this way! He couldn’t blame Elrond for this when he had contributed to it as well.

 

Seeing the confusion in the misty green eyes, Elrond raised a hand and rested it on Thranduil’s hips, gently stroking the skin there. “Do you feel better now? Lighter? I do.” The tension, anger and frustration that had coursed through him when dealing with Thranduil was gone, and had been replaced with affection, respect and love.

 

Uncertain how to reply, Thranduil continued to stare at Elrond. His hand trembled violently when he caressed the half-Elf’s face. “I do not know what I feel.”

 

In a moment of complete understanding, Elrond’s smile faded. “You are afraid. Why?” He had seen that particular expression in those emerald eyes before. He had seen it when he had left the tent they had shared to be with Gil-galad.

 

Realizing that denying the truth was useless, Thranduil nodded. “I am afraid we will go back to hating each other when Arien rises again. That we will forget this night ever happened.”

 

“This night is imprinted on my very soul,” said Elrond, passionately. He pressed his fingertips against Thranduil’s lips, tracing their outline. “Did I hurt you? I did not properly prepare you, but—“

 

Thranduil shook his head. “I could not wait either. I wanted it as well.”

 

“I have some soothing salve if you feel sore. I apologize for letting my feelings overwhelm me. I never wanted to hurt you.”

 

“I heal fast,” said Thranduil, smiling shyly. “You were right, you know? I never stopped loving you.” Suddenly, a terrifying thought upset him. “How do you feel about me? Am I fooling myself by believing you still have feelings for me? Or—“

 

“Do not finish that sentence,” said Elrond, placing a finger against the blond’s lips. He didn’t want to hear words of doubt and pain. “You are not fooling yourself and I do have feelings for you. Stronger feelings than I thought. We can take our time to explore our feelings.”

 

Thranduil stared into Elrond’s blue, dilated eyes. “Do you want me to leave?” The intensity of their sensual encounter had shaken him and he didn’t know what to expect next.

 

Elrond shook his head. “Do not leave, nîn glaur. My life has been cold and dark for so many years, and now that you have come back to me, I feel warm again.”

 

“You want me to stay?” Thranduil couldn’t remember ever feeling this insecure. It was easy to be cross with Elrond, but it was a lot harder to face his feelings and accept them. “I still love you. My heart still beats for you.”

 

Elrond wrapped a golden strand around his finger, playing with it. “I never stopped loving you either, and I want you to stay. I want us to spend time together. I want—“ He stopped, laughed warmly and shook his head.

 

Thranduil caught on and said, “You want.”

 

“Aye, I -want- you.” Smiling at Thranduil, he was relieved when the blond returned that smile. “Ithil has long risen and we should get some sleep. We will have to attend to many matters tomorrow and we need to rest now. Will you sleep in my bed tonight? In my arms?”

 

Thranduil hesitantly rubbed the half-Elf’s back, wondering what the future would bring. “Are you sure you want me in your bed… and in your arms?”

 

/Do not bring up Gil-galad,/ thought Elrond, pleadingly. /Do not bring him into our bed./

 

Closing his eyes momentarily, Thranduil made the decision to be completely honest with Elrond. “I cannot believe you still love me. I also know this was not about love. This was about releasing the tension that has been building for millennia. Maybe it is best if I return to Mirkwood as quickly as possible.”

 

“No.”

 

Hearing Elrond’s determined tone, his green eyes widened and he stared at the half-Elf in puzzlement. “No?”

 

“You are not leaving.” Elrond opted for action again, instead of words, knowing they wouldn’t reach the hurt blond. Slower, with much love and affection displayed in his kiss, he claimed Thranduil’s lips. His hands soothingly moved over his lover’s back, hips and then settled for stroking the silken hair. Effectively silencing Thranduil, he maintained eye contact, searching the green orbs. When he finally released the blond’s lips, he whispered, “I am not making the same mistake twice. I am not letting you get away again. I love you.”

 

/I love you…/ Elrond’s words echoed in Thranduil’s mind. “Do you? Do you really love me?”

 

Elrond nodded. “Stay with me. Stay and give our love a chance to flourish. I know you still love me… Give yourself time to heal.”

 

The ache in his hurt soul lessened, hearing Elrond’s soothing words. Thranduil sighed, wondering if he was setting himself up for more heartache. Valthoron was more than capable of ruling Mirkwood, and he could stay for longer, if he really wanted to.

 

Elrond involuntarily held his breath whilst Thranduil reached a decision. Claiming the blond’s hand, he squeezed gently. “Please stay.”

 

“I will stay,” mumbled Thranduil, hoping he had made the right decision. Elrond’s brilliant smile took him aback and when the half-Elf rose from the floor, he allowed Elrond to pull him to his feet.

 

Elrond guided him to his bed where he sat him down. He closely watched, trying to determine if Thranduil was sore or not. When the blond showed no sign of discomfort, he pushed down the covers and signaled for him to lie down. Thranduil complied and Elrond climbed into bed as well, lying down next to him and opening his arms. Thranduil moved into them and Elrond completed the hug, holding him close. “I will never leave you again,” he vowed.

 

/Do not make promises you cannot keep,/ thought Thranduil privately. His heart still beat with fear at being abandoned again. He wouldn’t survive losing Elrond a second time.

 

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 16

 

 

“Tell me if I am wrong, but it seems like you are falling asleep, nîn amdir.” Glorfindel still had a tight hold on Erestor, whose breathing had slowed down whilst resting against him. “Are you sure you are comfortable enough here on the floor? We could move to the bed.”

 

Erestor slowly shook his head against Glorfindel’s chest. “I want… to stay… here.” He felt warm and comfortable in the Elda’s arms and was right where he wanted to be. He didn’t want to move now that he had found some peace of mind.

 

Glorfindel raised a hand, placed two fingers beneath Erestor’s chin and lifted the Elf’s face so they could make eye contact. He worried that the day’s horrid events would haunt the dark-haired Elf during the night, and he wanted to fill Erestor’s mind with something pleasurable instead.

 

Erestor’s eyes filled with nervous expectation when Glorfindel leaned in closer, softly claiming his lips. Trembling, he surrendered to the sensual kiss. His inexperience showed when Glorfindel’s tongue nudged against his lips, and he didn’t realize what he was supposed to do. Slowly, the Elda’s tongue managed to get past his lips, tracing the insides, and eventually nudging against his teeth. Finally catching on, he shyly parted them, allowing Glorfindel to explore his mouth.

 

The startled expression in Erestor’s eyes told Glorfindel just how nervous the Noldorin Elf felt. Running his fingers through the long dark hair, he finally released Erestor’s lips and smiled adoringly at his new lover. “I hope you will have pleasant dreams tonight. Dream of my lips, our kiss, and my love for you.” He didn’t want to bring up Eridhren, the fight or the Elf’s death. “Know that you are no longer alone. Know that you are loved.”

 

Erestor smiled, rested his head once more against Glorfindel’s shoulder and snuggled up to him. A warm, loving sensation made his heart beat faster and he wasn’t sure how to label it. Was it the same thing Glorfindel was feeling?

 

“Erestor? Nîn amdir?”

 

Erestor raised his eyes, meeting Glorfindel’s soft gaze. What was the Elda trying to tell him?

 

“I love you…”

 

Erestor choked up. Glorfindel’s emotions were so close to the surface that they were reflected in his azure eyes. What was he supposed to say? He decided to be honest. “I feel… something for you as well, but I do not know what.”

 

Glorfindel smiled encouragingly. “What does it feel like?”

 

Erestor pleadingly looked into Glorfindel’s eyes. “I do not know. I never felt anything like it. It feels… warm, inviting. I like it when you hold me this close, but…” Growing shy, he shrugged apologetically. “I do not know what I feel.”

 

“Oh, but you do,” whispered Glorfindel reassuringly. “You just need time to name those feelings. Do not rush yourself. Give yourself a chance to grow accustomed to them.”

 

Erestor felt relieved and thankful that Glorfindel was giving him the time he needed to adjust to all these changes in his life. A yawn overwhelmed him and he wrapped his arms around the Elda, assuming his former, cuddled up position.

 

Smiling contently, Glorfindel sighed, enjoying holding Erestor close. “Sleep and dream of our love.”

 

Erestor smiled dreamily. Dozing off, he still tasted Glorfindel’s sweet lips against his.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond looked dotingly at his bed partner. Thranduil was blissfully asleep and nestled against him. Why had he waited so long to take this step? He should have traveled to Mirkwood centuries ago to bury the hatchet between them. Now tension and passion had finally overwhelmed them, causing them to seek comfort in each other’s arms.

 

That Thranduil had made himself this vulnerable surprised Elrond, but then again, it was something he should have expected. Oropher had been a harsh father and when he had first met the blond, Thranduil had been yearning for affection and attention. They had quickly admitted their feelings, had shared a tent against Oropher’s wishes and had been happy, until Gil-galad had appeared in their lives.

 

Now, millennia later, he was ready to admit the mistake he had made as a youngster. Thranduil had loved him, but Gil-galad had only lusted after him. At his young age he hadn’t been able to distinguish between the two. Only now did he realize what he had thrown away, and he thanked Elbereth for giving him this second chance.

 

Thranduil moaned in his sleep and moved slightly, causing the blond’s re-awakening erection to rub against his thigh. His wicked streak awakened and Elrond's hand stole below the sheet, loosely wrapping his fingers around the blond’s member. A needy groan left his lover’s still-bruised lips, and his own passion began to build as well.

 

During their short time together, spent at the Battle of the Last Alliance, they had quickly fallen into a pattern of him making love to the blond. When Gil-galad had appeared, that had changed, and he had enjoyed being at the receiving end as well. Last night had been for him, and he wanted this morning to be about Thranduil. The golden-haired Elf had never taken him before and he wanted a new balance to their relationship. He no longer wanted to just take; to give was now just as important.

 

Climbing onto his lover’s body, he straddled the blond’s hips, and leaned in closer to claim Thranduil’s lips. Suddenly, awareness returned to the cat-like eyes and Thranduil’s expression spoke of surprise and disorientation. Releasing his lover’s lips, Elrond smiled, feeling drunk on passion. “Good morning, nîn glaur.”

 

Thranduil momentarily felt lost, wondering what Elrond was doing straddling his hips and kissing him, but then last night’s memories vividly returned to him. Their sexual encounter had been explosive, and now he wondered where they stood. Just seeing Elrond grin at him like that caused his heart to flutter with hope. It was too soon to talk about love, but maybe they could build a foundation for a new relationship, which might deepen in time. “Good morning,” he choked out, feeling uncertain. Lying flat on his back, with Elrond straddling his hips, he was fairly immobile.

 

It pained Elrond to see the insecurity was still there in the feline eyes and he ached to take it away. He reacted instinctively. Letting his hair fall in front of his face, he bowed his head until the locks dragged over Thranduil’s chest, teasing the hardening nipples. Suddenly he knew what he had to do.

 

Arching his back, Thranduil felt helpless, watching Elrond lean in closer. The half-Elf’s surprisingly talented tongue trailed down his breastbone and then turned left, lapping at an erect nipple. His eyes widened when Elrond suckled the nub of hard flesh, sending spirals of pleasure through his body. He was already hard and stared at the half-Elf in astonishment. Did Elrond want to make love -again-? But last night had been a one time affair… or not? Feeling lost, he raised a shaky hand and let it tangle in the dark tresses.

 

The apparent need in those emerald eyes urged Elrond on. Sliding down his lover’s body, his tongue left a wet trail on the quivering skin. This time, he slowly wrapped his tongue around his lover’s erection, licking tenderly, which differed greatly from the way he had devoured the golden-haired Elf’s essence a few hours ago.

 

Last night had been about sex, lust and need. Now he wanted to make love.

 

Elrond looked up, let his lover’s arousal slip from his mouth, and stared right into Thranduil’s dilated pupils. The blond wanted him as well, but expected to be taken again. But things were going to change. Bending down, he attended to his lover’s need again, licking up and down the length of the shaft, and lavishing the head, preparing his lover for what was to come.

 

Hesitantly, still insecure about their new relationship, Thranduil reached for the half’s-Elf’s hair, twirling a strand around his finger. The silence between them was new, but felt extremely comfortable. It was almost like they didn’t need the words; their bodies and expressions spoke for them. Elrond suddenly released his throbbing erection and deeply gazed into his eyes. Thranduil sensed the change in Elrond’s mood, but was unable to label it correctly. He involuntarily held his breath when Elrond suddenly raised himself, positioning himself above his erection. Stunned, he stared at the half-Elf. “What…?” Never before had Elrond offered to let him experience this side of their lovemaking. Why now?

 

“Hush… Do not speak…” Elrond bit his bottom lip, lowering himself and allowing himself to be impaled by his lover’s erection. Slowly, he took in more, quickly getting used to the invasive sensation. In the end, his buttocks settled in Thranduil’s lap, having taken his lover completely.

 

All Thranduil was capable of was staring at his dark-haired lover, trembling a little and gasping. Several questions swept through his mind, but he didn’t voice them, realizing something extraordinary had happened. Elrond had taken a step which he had been incapable of before. A passionate and needy moan escaped his throat and he slowly placed his hands on the half-Elf’s hips, stroking the soft skin.

 

Elrond shifted slightly and sucked in his breath when the hard flesh rubbed his sweet spot, making him dizzy with passion. He took hold of his lover’s hands, placed them on either side of the blond’s head and intertwined their fingers, supporting himself and using the hold as leverage when he finally raised himself.

 

Thranduil’s body quavered beneath the sensual attack and he instinctively thrust into his lover’s body, seeking release. Rational thought had deserted him now that this tight glove engulfed him. Elrond impaled himself again, and this time, Thranduil released a whimper, pleadingly locking eyes with the half-Elf. “What are you… doing to me?”

 

“I am making love to you,” whispered Elrond in a tender tone. “Something I should have done millennia ago.” Leaning in closer, he briefly brushed his lover’s lips and then concentrated on setting a slow and seductive rhythm that quickly drove them wild with passion.

 

Feeling slightly more secure, Thranduil took the initiative, something he had rarely done during their short love affair. Elrond had always been the dominant one, dictating their actions, but now that he was growing more confident, he boldly freed his hands from Elrond’s death-grip and brought them up behind his lover’s back.

 

Elrond realized the blond’s intentions too late and before he knew it, he had been rolled onto his back. Thranduil settled between his legs, and the look of utter bliss in those green eyes made him wrap his legs tightly around his lover’s waist, allowing Thranduil to take him even deeper.

 

Surprised that Elrond allowed this, Thranduil buried his face in the crook of the half-Elf’s neck, thrusting, and panting softly into his lover’s ear.

 

Elrond’s eyes darkened to near-black, realizing that Thranduil had accepted the challenge. Maybe that was the thing that had been missing from their relationship; some aggressiveness on Thranduil’s part. Gil-galad had possessed that quality, and in retrospect he realized it had drawn him close like a moth to the flame. “Harder,” he demanded, panting his need. His hands now clawed the sheet, and he stared into wild, emerald eyes. Had he ever seen them this passionate, this alive before?

 

“Harder?” Thranduil wasn’t sure he had heard correctly.

 

“Aye, harder!” Elrond raised his hips to meet Thranduil’s next thrust and pushed back.

 

Obliging the half-Elf, he thrust harder, but still couldn’t let go completely. He had never been on top before and was scared to hurt his lover. He couldn’t help being concerned and cautious. His hands now moved through the dark hair, and when he claimed Elrond’s lips, the half-Elf quivered with release.

 

His heart missed a beat when the half-Elf’s inner muscle contracted around his aching member, sending ripples of ecstasy through his body. Stopping all movement, he surrendered to the sensation, which quickly led him to a shattering orgasm. Arching his back, he threw back his head and trembled over his entire body. It was the most intense orgasm he had ever experienced.

 

Enraptured, Elrond stared at the blond beauty trembling above him. He quickly wrapped his arms around him, and slowly rolled them onto their sides, relishing the fact that Thranduil was still inside him. Staring into dilated pupils, he managed a shaky smile.

 

“What…do I do... now?” Thranduil was relieved to be lying down again.

 

“Pull out slowly,” whispered Elrond tenderly. Although he tried to mentally prepare himself for losing this intimate connection, he still released a disappointed sigh when the blond’s sated sex left his body.

 

Thranduil, still catching his breath, stared at the half-Elf in barely concealed puzzlement. “Why did you do that?”

 

Elrond caressed the blond’s face, tracing the jawline. “Because I love you.” But for some reason that seemed to mystify Thranduil even more; the confusion in those green eyes grew more intense. “I want our relationship to be balanced, to be equal. We should aim to make it better than what he had millennia ago. We are older now, and hopefully a little wiser.”

 

Thranduil’s heart thundered, hearing Elrond’s words. “That is what I always wanted, always dreamt of, but I never dared think it could come true.”

 

Letting his fingers tangle in the soft, golden locks, Elrond smiled warmly. “I love you and you love me. What else do we need?” Unexpectedly his stomach growled, reminding them that it was time for breakfast.

 

“Nourishment, it seems,” teased Thranduil, still feeling insecure about their relationship. But Elrond’s words had given him courage. He would do his part to build a solid relationship.

 

“Aye, we need to eat.” Elrond nearly lost himself in the sea of green that was Thranduil’s eyes. “We should bathe, get dressed and join the others for breakfast. I also want to check on Elrohir. He tried to hide it last night, but I know he was upset.”

 

“And I want to look in on Erestor. I worry about him.” Thranduil didn’t know if he could act normally when facing the others. Would they realize something had changed? How would Elrond’s sons react? How would -his- sons react? Growing worried, he wondered what had possessed him to give into his need.

 

“What is wrong, nîn glaur? Why does your gaze darken?” Elrond elbowed himself into a sitting position and searched his lover’s eyes.

 

“We did not think this over,” said Thranduil softly. “We never considered what impact this would have on Elladan and Elrohir…” His voice faded, concerned. “And how can I possibly face them, or my sons, after… after…”

 

“After making love to me?” Elrond understood. “I have not given this much thought either and I am inclined to not tell them yet.” Seeing sudden nervousness appear in Thranduil’s eyes, he quickly added, “And it is not because I am ashamed of you, or embarrassed! I just want more time for us to grow accustomed to this.”

 

Thranduil sighed, realizing Elrond had made a valid point. They should wait before announcing they were together again. Their love was still too fragile.

 

“Breakfast, then?” Elrond planted a chaste kiss on Thranduil’s brow. “And after breakfast we will discuss those border patrols. Maybe later, we can go for a walk in the gardens?” He didn’t want to pressure Thranduil into anything, taking it slowly instead. /Taking it slowly!/ he laughed privately. /Making love twice is taking it slowly?/

 

Thranduil met Elrond’s gaze, and said, “But I would like to join the others for dinner tonight. We have a lot to discuss.”

 

Elrond nodded approvingly. “And after dinner we can retreat to my chambers?”

 

“And do what?” Thranduil’s voice trembled.

 

Elrond smiled wickedly whilst rising from the bed. He extended his hand and signaled for Thranduil to follow him, which the blond did. “Maybe you will sing for me? You have such an enchanting voice.” Thranduil actually blushed at his words and Elrond led the blond into bathroom for a quick bath.

 

“Maybe I will,” said Thranduil thoughtfully.

 

“I hope you will.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrohir felt rested when he woke in his brother’s arms. After Elladan had brushed his hair, they had cuddled up like they had done when they were little. Smiling warmly, Elrohir began to tickle his twin through his robes, which caused Elladan to wake up with a soft scream on his lips.

 

”What in Elbereth’s name are you doing?” Elladan burst out laughing when Elrohir tickled him in earnest. He was relieved to find that his younger brother had recovered from Eridhren’s attack. The dark anxiety that had been in his eyes last night was gone. “Have mercy!”

 

Elrohir stopped tickling his twin and stretched luxuriously. “We should check on Erestor.” He yawned, ran a hand through his hair, and sat upright.

 

Elladan nodded. “I am sure Glorfindel is taking good care of him.”

 

Elrohir blinked once. “Do you think there is something going on between them? There is a certain expression in Glorfindel’s eyes when he looks at Erestor, and it appeared after they returned from their hazardous journey.”

 

Raising an eyebrow, Elladan shrugged. “There might be some attraction on Glorfindel’s part, but I doubt Erestor is interested.”

 

“But then again, Erestor has changed a lot since we brought him back wounded.”

 

“You are right,” sighed Elladan, suddenly reminded of the dreadful state they had found Erestor in. “I am so glad he did not bleed to death.”

 

“And I am glad his father did not get to him.” A shudder coursed through him. “Eridhren was insane. There is no other explanation for his behavior.” Elrohir rose from the bed, stretched again, and headed for the bathroom for a quick wash.

 

Elladan got to his feet and walked over to the closet. After opening it, he selected a blue shirt and leggings for Elrohir and chose a brown tunic for himself. Draping the clothes over a chair, he walked over to the window, smiling at Arien’s warm rays.

 

His gaze drifted to his father’s balcony. Elrond usually opened his balcony doors in the morning and would sit in the sun until it was time to eat breakfast. Seeing that the doors were still closed made him frown. His father rarely slept in late, and he couldn’t help but worry if something was wrong.

 

Elrohir had slung a towel around his hips and was drying his hair, joining his twin in front of the window. “Is Ada awake yet?”

 

“His balcony doors are still closed,” whispered Elladan thoughtfully. “What does that mean?”

 

“Maybe he was tired and slept in late?”

 

Elladan shook his head. “As the host he should be looking after Thranduil.”

 

“And tonight Eridhren’s corpse will burn on the pyre.” It promised to be a long, exhausting day. “Do you think Erestor will attend?”

 

“As long as Glorfindel is there to support him, aye.” Elladan turned around and headed for the bathroom to take his bath whilst Elrohir got dressed.

 

Sitting down in front of the mirror, Elrohir combed his hair and braided it again. Suddenly Elladan’s voice reached him.

 

“Did you notice the tension between Ada and Thranduil? At first I did not know what to make of it, but I have the feeling that there is a lot of unfinished business between them.” Elladan wrapped himself up in a towel and stepped into the bedroom, picking up his clothes. After exchanging the towel for his tunic and leggings, he joined Elrohir in front of the mirror. His fingers ran along his brother’s braid, picked up a hair clip and fastened the dark mane.

 

Elrohir nodded. “I sensed something as well, but I have no idea what stands between them.”

 

“Maybe it has something to do with Oropher’s death. I was always under the impression Thranduil blamed Ada for that.”

 

“That could be it,” said Elrohir, smiling. “Let us eat first and then we will talk to Erestor.” He had the feeling they might run into each other when having breakfast.

 

Elladan returned the smile and decided to let his hair hang loose. Hungry, he grabbed his brother’s hand and pulled him along. “Let us eat!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor’s eyes slowly regained awareness and the first thing he noticed was a strand of golden hair dangling in front of his nose. /Glorfindel./ The blond mystified him, and after last night’s admission he wondered how the Elda could possibly be in love with him. But he couldn’t deny having some feelings for Glorfindel as well. He just didn’t know how to label them correctly.

 

“We should eat something.”

 

Hearing Glorfindel’s voice startled him. He hadn’t been aware of the fact that the Elda was awake already. Tentatively, he raised his head and stared at the blond. Warm sunbeams surrounded Glorfindel’s head, making him appear as radiant as Arien. “I cannot believe I slept peacefully last night.”

 

“Must be my charming company,” teased Glorfindel, running a light fingertip over Erestor’s lip. “Do you want to take a bath?”

 

Erestor shook his head. “I want to eat first.” Only now was he growing aware of just how hungry he was.

 

“You do seem at ease,” said Glorfindel, smiling pleased. He reluctantly released Erestor, and after placing a chaste kiss on the dark-haired Elf’s brow, he rose to his feet. Extending his hand, he pulled Erestor to his feet and bestowed a warm hug on the Noldorin Elf.

 

Erestor smiled shyly, actually looking forward to spending his day with the Elda.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elrohir smiled, encountering Erestor and Glorfindel in the corridor. The two elder Elves seemed to be heading for the dining room as well. “Good morning, Erestor. You look rested.”

 

Erestor’s smile remained shy, locking gazes with the youngest twin. “I seem to have made a friend who is rather worried about me, pen-neth. Glorfindel watched over me last night.”

 

The Elda beamed with pride and contentment, now that his arm was tightly wrapped around Erestor’s waist, no longer hiding his affection. The gesture made Elladan smile.

 

Glorfindel opened the door and pulled Erestor inside. He raised an eyebrow inquisitively, finding Elrond and Thranduil already eating breakfast.

 

Elrond looked up and smiled, seeing the four of them enter. His first glance was for Elrohir. Finding his youngest son smiling back at him reassured him. His next glance was for Erestor and seeing Glorfindel holding his hand made the half-Elf smile. It seemed like they had worked through last night successfully, which made him feel relieved. “Good morning.”

 

Elrohir sat down at Elrond’s left and Elladan in between his father and Thranduil. If the oldest twin was surprised to find Thranduil present, he didn’t show it. From the other side of the table, Elrohir glanced questioningly at him and he shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t know why Elrond was having breakfast with Thranduil either. The last time he had seen them they had been fighting, and he had sent his father to apologize to Thranduil. Maybe his little ploy had worked and they had buried the hatchet?

 

Glorfindel’s gaze searched Elrond’s, wondering what had happened during the night between the half-Elf and Thranduil.

 

A maid placed a plate filled with fruits, bread and cheese in front of Erestor, who also accepted a warm mug of tea, which he sipped slowly. His gaze unexpectedly locked with Thranduil’s and he frowned at the peculiar expression in those emerald eyes. Something about Thranduil was different.

 

Elladan, whose gaze had shifted to Thranduil as well, suddenly noticed a wound on the blond’s neck. Cocking his head, his eyes narrowed, studying the wound.

 

Thranduil, feeling Elladan’s eyes on him, looked up from eating breakfast and locked eyes with the younger half-Elf. Elladan’s expression unnerved him.

 

Elladan grinned, attracted his brother’s attention and pointed his finger at Thranduil’s neck.

 

Elrond, who happened to accidentally glance at his oldest son, dropped his fork onto his plate with a metallic thud at seeing Elladan’s wicked grin. He knew his son well enough to realize he was in trouble.

 

Thranduil felt a similar panic. They had decided to keep their attraction a secret, and now that Elladan had noticed the bite mark he didn’t know what to say.

 

“Someone left a passion mark on you, my Lord Thranduil,” said Elladan impishly. “I wonder who it was.”

 

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 17

 

 

So many things happened in that one moment when Elladan asked his question. Thranduil’s gaze locked with Elrond’s, wondering what to say. Did Elrond want him to lie or…?

 

Elrond answered that gaze and hoped Thranduil wouldn’t blurt out the truth. He needed a moment to think this through!

 

At the same time, Glorfindel’s suspicions that Elrond and Thranduil had had a lover’s quarrel, and that the argument had been resolved, were confirmed. The Elda smiled wickedly at Elrond and then gave him a wink.

 

Elrond’s eyes widened, seeing Glorfindel’s reaction. It seemed the Elda had figured everything out, and what was even more surprising, the blond didn’t seem to mind.

 

Absentmindedly, Glorfindel gently squeezed Erestor’s hand and the dark-haired counselor followed the Elda’s gaze, realizing Glorfindel thought Elrond had left that passion mark on Thranduil. But could that really be? Well, why not? Thranduil’s wife had long sailed to Valinor and so had Elrond’s. It shouldn’t be a surprise that they would seek comfort in each other’s arms. A smile settled on his face, approving as well. He wanted Thranduil and Elrond to be happy.

 

Elrond was beginning to panic now that Erestor and Glorfindel were smiling giddily at him. It was obvious they had been found out, and at hearing Thranduil’s sharp intake of breath, his gaze shifted back to his lover.

 

Thranduil stared pleading at Elrond. What was he supposed to say?

 

“Elladan, you asked a rather indiscrete question,” said Erestor, coming to the rescue. “I do think you owe Thranduil an apology.” He immediately noticed Thranduil’s thankful smile and inclined his head, hoping the warm expression in his eyes told his former protector that he approved of his relationship with Elrond.

 

Elladan raised an eyebrow at hearing Erestor’s words. He knew he was treading on thin ice, asking such a question, but Thranduil’s and his father’s reaction surprised him. The look that passed between spoke of concern, panic and… intimacy. /Nay, that cannot be it. I must have reached the wrong conclusion!/ Seeking out his brother’s gaze, he wondered what Elrohir thought of the situation.

 

Elrohir had reached the same conclusion as Elladan. The tension that had hung heavy between the two Elves had changed into something else. Something intimate, he realized. He wasn’t sure what to think of this revelation and returned his twin’s gaze. Could it be that their father had chosen a new lover? Where did that leave Celebrian?

 

Elladan sensed an echo of his twin’s thoughts and realized that the same thing troubled him as well. Their mother had left, telling them she hoped they would be reunited one day, but neither he nor Elrohir had ever considered sailing to Valinor. It would be several more centuries, maybe even millennia before they would make that decision. Was it fair to expect their father to remain chaste for such a long time?

 

Elrohir nodded once, telling Elladan they would discuss this in private later.

 

“I apologize for being so forward, sire,” said Elladan, but his tone made it very clear that he didn’t feel sorry at all. His wicked streak, which he had doubtlessly inherited from his father, showed when he said, “And if I searched really hard, would I find a passion mark on you too, dearest Ada?”

 

Rendered speechless, Elrond stared at his oldest son in disbelief. He hadn’t expected Elladan to address this! “I do think you are out of line, Elladan!” He wasn’t ready to announce his new relationship to his sons! Thranduil and he were still testing the waters! Why couldn’t Elladan just keep quiet?

 

Glorfindel now intervened as well. “Elladan, you cannot address your father like that. What he does in the privacy of his bedroom is…” He stopped, realizing he was only making things worse, confirming Elladan’s suspicions, but he finished anyway, “is his business, not yours.”

 

Elrond bowed his head, shook it and sighed, distressed. He couldn’t confirm Elladan’s suspicions. Thranduil would never agree to admit the truth… or would he? His gaze locked with his lover’s, realizing there really wasn’t a way out of this, except if he lied to his sons. He had always been honest with them and didn’t want to destroy the trust between the three of them, but would the twins accept this? Why should they? He expected them to be cross with him.

 

Thranduil’s eyes widened with the realization that Elrond was inclined to tell the twins about their newly-found relationship. Mutely, he stared at the half-Elf, begging him to reconsider.

 

“I cannot lie to them, nîn glaur.” Elrond drew in a deep breath and then faced his sons, who were staring at him with a mixture of shock and curiosity.

 

Thranduil leaned back into the comfort of his chair and wished the floor would open and swallow him. He had never expected anyone to find out this quickly. Frustrated he glared at Elrond. This was the half-Elf’s fault; why had he bitten him in the heat of passion?

 

Elrond cleared his throat and cringed beneath Elladan’s gaze. He quickly looked at Elrohir, hoping both would understand. Maybe it was best to tell them everything. “Thranduil and I were lovers for a short time at the Battle of the Last Alliance, long before I ever met your mother.”

 

Elladan’s eyes widened, realizing Elrond had decided to tell them. He quickly exchanged a look with Elrohir and they silently agreed to hear their father out.

 

Elrond decided to leave out his involvement with Gil-galad. There was no need to distress his sons further. His gaze briefly swept over to Erestor and Glorfindel and he took heart, seeing their encouraging looks. “During the Battle we broke up. We had an argument and took separate paths. When I met Celebrian, I fell in love with her and she gave me the greatest gift of all; three bright and beautiful children. When she sailed for Valinor it broke my heart and I never considered being with someone again, but then…” His voice faded, as he locked gazes with Thranduil. “Something unexpected happened.”

 

Thranduil shifted on his chair, growing increasingly nervous. Elrohir was staring at him with big eyes, and Elladan… He failed to label Elladan’s expression, which worried him even more. Listening to Elrond, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

 

“Thranduil and I…” Elrond paused, searching for the words, “We never talked things through, and stayed cross with each other for millennia. Things… progressed into something more when we finally did talk.”

 

Elrohir had long stared at his father, trying to decide how he felt about Elrond and Thranduil being lovers. He had expected to feel betrayed, because his father was no longer faithful to Celebrian, but instead he found he was happy that Elrond had found someone to love. Even Celebrian would be happy for him. She had loved him dearly and would never want him to suffer because of her.

 

Elladan was having similar thoughts. He couldn’t blame his father for wanting a lover when his wife had left centuries ago. Elrond deserved to be happy as well. “But why Thranduil? You always told us how arrogant and self-centered he was!”

 

Thranduil now glared at Elrond. “Arrogant? Self-centered?”

 

Elrond flinched. “Nîn glaur, I was upset with you for many centuries.”

 

Thranduil shook his head. “You were upset with me? You were the one who left! If anyone…” Suddenly he grew aware of the four pairs of eyes that were staring at him. “We will discuss this later. In private.”

 

“In private,” snickered Elladan softly. It was actually quite amusing to see Thranduil bite his lip and blush. “I wonder what else they will do in private.”

 

“I do not want to think about it,” said Elrohir, pretending to shiver. “I really do not need to know.”

 

Elrond couldn’t believe his luck. Were his sons actually willing to accept this? He hadn’t expected them to be this accepting, and certainly not this quickly. They hardly knew Thranduil! And what he had told them in the past about the blond wasn’t flattering either. First he searched Elrohir’s eyes, and then Elladan’s. But both were non-judgmental, even amused. This was unexpected.

 

Thranduil wasn’t sure how to react either. Looking to Elrond for help, he saw the half-Elf smile, relieved, and took that as a sign that everything had been settled for now. He was relieved as well that the twins seemed to accept this unexpected development. He addressed Elladan in a hesitant tone, “My offer to spar with you still stands… if you still want to.” He would understand if Elladan was no longer interested.

 

Elladan read insecurity in Thranduil’s eyes and suddenly wondered about the elder Elf. Thranduil had been friendly toward him from the start and was now obviously worried that their beginning friendship had been ruined. But he loved his father and if Thranduil meant this much to Elrond, there had to be something very special to the blond. “We will spar,” he said, smiling reassuringly.

 

Elrond heard his lover’s relieved sigh and understood completely. The fact that his sons accepted this meant a lot to both of them. They would still have to talk about this in depth later, but for now they had reached a satisfying understanding.

 

The smile that appeared on Thranduil’s face told Elladan that the elder Elf felt slightly more secure now. “Maybe tomorrow?”

 

Thranduil nodded once and then forced himself to address another matter that also worried him. Looking at Erestor, he was pleased to find a warm smile on the Elf’s face and he hated being the one to remind him of Eridhren. “It is my sad duty to remind you that your father’s pyre will be lit tonight. Do you wish to attend the ceremony?”

 

Erestor’s smile instantly died and he noticed the disapproving glance that Glorfindel gave Thranduil. “He is only reminding me,” said he, addressing the Elda. He didn’t want Glorfindel to be cross with Thranduil.

 

“You should not be bothered with something like that,” said Glorfindel protectively, but slowly the realization sank in that he couldn’t keep reality out of their lives.

 

“He was my father,” said Erestor in a nervous tone. He locked eyes with Elrohir and moistened his lips. “I am sorry he attacked you. He had—“

 

Elrohir quickly interrupted his friend. “You are not responsible for his deeds. There is no reason to take the blame and apologize to me.”

 

Erestor shrugged apologetically. “I wished he had never come here.”

 

But Thranduil’s opinion differed greatly. Leaning in closer, he whispered into Elrond’s ear, “Now that he is dead we no longer have to worry that he will hurt someone.”

 

Elrond had to agree. “Erestor will recover more quickly now.” Suddenly realizing how close Thranduil was, Elrond fought down the urge to claim those luscious lips. Just being close to the blond was becoming pure torment!

 

Recognizing the needy expression in the half-Elf’s dilated pupils, Thranduil leaned back into the chair. Did he really have such an impact on Elrond? When had that happened? Or had he been determined to not notice the change? Focusing on Erestor, he asked, “I would accompany you if you want to attend the ceremony.”

 

“I will be at his side if he desires to attend,” said Glorfindel with a hint of overprotectiveness in his tone. In his heart he knew Thranduil meant well, but Erestor was –his- lover, and –he- would attend to his needs and no one else!

 

Thranduil smiled. “Oh, I am sure you will be there, Glorfindel. I was merely offering Erestor my support as well.” Baiting the Elda was too easy. Maybe it was unfair that he was testing Glorfindel, but he had to be sure the Elda wouldn’t desert his former protégé.

 

Glorfindel realized the true intent behind Thranduil’s words and wasn’t sure if he should be cross with the other Elf, or pleased that Thranduil was trying to protect Erestor.

 

Erestor decided it was time to take control of the situation. “I suppose I should attend. He was my father, and I…” He bit his lip, uncertain if he should admit this to them. “And I want to convince myself he is really dead and that he cannot return to hurt me again.” Glorfindel unexpectedly wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled his chair close. Erestor just stared at the Elda, wondering what would happen next.

 

“I promise that no one will ever again hurt you. Do you understand, nîn amdir? You are safe now. You do not have to look over your shoulder any longer.”

 

“That has not fully registered yet,” admitted Erestor, lowering his eyes. “I have lived in fear for so long.”

 

“And we never noticed.” Elrohir felt guilty for never finding out what was wrong. “We always suspected something troubled you, but—“

 

“But I let the situation continue,” finished Elrond for his son. “This was my fault as well.”

 

“We should look toward the future,” said Thranduil, disliking the tone of this conversation. If anyone was to blame, it was him. /But,/ he thought, sighing, /it is time to let go of the past./

 

“I have no idea what the future will bring.” Erestor glanced shyly at Glorfindel. “I have never…” he paused, uncertain if he should continue, “I never had friends before.”

 

“And in me you have found more than just a friend,” said Glorfindel passionately. He wanted all of Arda to know how much he loved Erestor. “I will be there for you every step of the way.”

 

Erestor actually blushed, feeling extremely shy, being the center of their attention. “I know you will.” And he was really beginning to believe that. Looking back at these last few weeks, he could hardly understand the changes that had taken place in his life.

 

Thranduil cleared his throat, realizing Erestor needed a moment to compose himself. “Elrond, we should look into the possibility of joining forces when it comes down to guarding our borders.”

 

Erestor immediately looked at the half-Elf, wondering if his presence was required. Did Elrond still want him to act as his chief counselor, or…? He didn’t dare finish that thought.

 

Elrond easily read the expression in Erestor’s dark eyes. “I would appreciate it if Glorfindel and you joined us.”

 

Noticing Erestor’s relieved sigh, Glorfindel nodded reluctantly. He had hoped to persuade the dark-haired Elf to take things easy today and rest, but it looked like Erestor wanted to return to his duties as quickly as possible. “We will be there.”

 

Erestor shot the Elda a thankful glance. The blond was quickly becoming his world, his support and his hope.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond was pleased with the outcome of their meeting. Thranduil had agreed to intensify communication between their guards, making sure both rulers knew when Orcs approached their borders. They also agreed to exchange several of their guards so Mirkwood and Imladris would grow accustomed to each other’s presence. In the end, they would try sending out mixed patrols, hoping one party could benefit from the experience of the other.

 

“It is agreed then,” said Erestor, writing down the terms of the agreement. Looking at Elrond, a frown appeared on his brow.

 

“What is it?” asked Elrond; he knew that frown. It appeared when Erestor had thought of something they had missed.

 

“This alliance would become even more powerful if Lothlorien joined in as well. Would Celeborn be interested in taking part of this?” Erestor shrugged his shoulders. “It was just something that came to mind.”

 

Thranduil nodded once, locked gazes with Elrond and said, “That seems like an excellent idea to me.”

 

Elrond had to agree. “Glorfindel, write Celeborn a letter, stating this request, and then dispatch a messenger.”

 

“I will take care of it,” said Glorfindel, pleased that Erestor had found a way to strengthen this alliance even further.

 

The half-Elf looked out of the window to find that Arien had already started her descent and that Ithil was rising. Had they really spend all day locked up in his study?

 

“We should end this now,” said Thranduil. “We still need to prepare for Eridhren’s funeral.”

 

Erestor nearly dropped the quill, but Glorfindel’s hand settled on his shoulder and squeezed gently. Taking heart, he sighed and finished the document, which he then handed to Elrond. “If you no longer require my services I would like to spend a moment in private.” Hearing Glorfindel sigh disappointed, he immediately locked eyes with the Elda. “Not alone… I want a moment with you,” he quickly clarified, hoping he hadn’t hurt the Elda’s feelings.

 

Glorfindel smiled warmly. “Then let us return to my rooms.” Erestor had told him earlier that he had no desire to return to his own rooms, where Eridhren had died, and they had agreed that Erestor would share his quarters. That arrangement made Glorfindel happy, for it meant he could spend even more time with his new lover.

 

Elrond nodded his permission and watched them leave. Then he turned around and faced Thranduil. This was their first moment alone since breakfast. Thranduil’s suspicious look urged him to quickly cover the distance between them and he wrapped one arm around the blond’s waist. “I never expected Elladan to mention the bite mark. I counted on him being discreet.”

 

“It was our fault,” admitted Thranduil. He’d had an ample amount of time to think everything through. “We were careless. You should not have bitten me above the collar and I should have made an attempt to conceal it, but I never realized it showed that clearly.”

 

Elrond cocked his head and studied the angry mark. “I should not have bitten you at all.”

 

“You always do,” said Thranduil whilst shrugging his shoulders. “And I do not mind.”

 

Elrond released Thranduil, noticed the blond’s frown, and explained, “I want to apply some salve to the bite. I am not satisfied with its healing rate.”

 

Thranduil watched Elrond move to his desk, open a drawer and take out a crystal vial. The half-elf opened it, allowed for some drops to settle on his fingertips and then returned to him.

 

Elrond swept away Thranduil’s hair, probing the mark. “I bit too deeply.” Applying the balm, he studied the blond, who looked strangely shy. But when they had made love in the morning, Thranduil had taken the lead. What would it take for the blond to do that again? A soft whimper fled from Thranduil’s lips and Elrond smiled, knowing his touch was welcome and would speed the skin’s recovery. “The ceremony will start within the hour.”

 

Thranduil nodded. They could finally close this chapter and start a new one. One without fear.

 

“Can I meet you in your rooms in thirty minutes?” They needed to change into formal robes and had to return to their quarters, but he wanted Thranduil to know he needed him at his side.

 

Thranduil nodded once more. “Do you think Erestor will need us tonight?”

 

“I doubt it. Glorfindel will want to take care of him. But maybe we can spend some time with Elladan and Elrohir?” Surprised, he felt Thranduil shiver. “What is wrong?”

 

“I do not feel comfortable facing your sons. Won’t they think I am trying to take the place of their mother?”

 

Elrond shook his head, determined. “Celebrian cannot be replaced and they know you won’t try to take her place. But they might be jealous at times.”

 

“Jealous?” Thranduil frowned.

 

“For the last few centuries they had my undivided attention. Now they will have to share me with you.”

 

“Is it not about time they took a mate themselves?” wondered Thranduil aloud.

 

“Aye, but they have not mentioned a love to me.” Elrond folded one arm around the blond and together they left the study and headed for their rooms. “Will you share my bed with me tonight? I do not wish to be alone.”

 

Thranduil swallowed hard. “I do not want to be alone either.”

 

Elrond leaned in closer and bestowed a gentle kiss onto his lover’s lips. “I love you, nîn glaur. How could I have been so blind to let you go?”

 

Thranduil remained quiet. He had asked himself that question countless times and hadn’t found an answer either.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Tears streamed down Erestor’s face, watching the pyre burn. The flames shot into the night, tried to reach the heavens, and then began to die after long and mentally exhausting moments. He was swaying on his feet and Glorfindel’s supportive arm wrapped around his waist was the only reason he was still standing.

 

Looking to his right, he found Elrond and Thranduil, standing incredibly close. Now that he looked closer, he found that the half-Elf had wrapped an arm around the blond’s waist. To his left were Elladan and Elrohir. On their faces lay a determined expression and he could only guess at their thoughts. For some reason they seemed frustrated, and he realized they were busy blaming themselves for not realizing something was wrong at an earlier time. He would have to talk to them about that. They hadn’t known because he had been careful to not arouse their suspicions.

 

“Are you still coping, nîn amdir? We can return to my rooms if you want to.” Glorfindel worried about his lover. The tears that dripped down the dark-haired Elf’s chin were growing fewer, but he easily sensed his lover’s sadness and pain. All he wanted was to hold him close and assure him everything would be well.

 

Erestor leaned into Glorfindel’s embrace and rested his head against the Elda’s shoulder. “I would not have been able to deal with this without you.”

 

“You do not have to deal with this alone, nîn amdir.” Glorfindel realized that it would take time for Erestor to full accept that he was no longer alone. But now that Eridhren was dead they had all the time they needed.

 

“I still cannot believe he is dead.” Erestor shook his head against the Elda’s shoulder. “I cannot believe he can no longer hurt me. I still expect to see him around every corner. Seeing him again brought everything back.”

 

“We will work through this together,” promised Glorfindel. “Let us go now.” The fire was dying and he wanted Erestor back in the safety of his rooms where the dark-haired Elf could break down, should his strength desert him.

 

Erestor allowed Glorfindel to lead him away from the pyre. After casting one more look at the dying flames, he sighed and put his trust in the Elda, who had promised to see him through this.

 

Elrond and Thranduil watched them depart and the half-Elf’s gaze was drawn to his sons, who stood closely together, offering each other comfort. “Elladan, Elrohir…”

 

The twins turned around and looked at him. “The ceremony has come to an end. Why don’t you go to your rooms and try to rest? These last few days were eventful and exhausting.”

 

Elladan and Elrohir drew in a deep breath, walked away from the pyre and entered the Last Homely House. Elladan spoke first. “As far as I am concerned, Eridhren got what he deserved for hurting Erestor like that.” Grim determination echoed in his voice.

 

Elrohir nodded firmly. “I agree. But Erestor is hurting and needs us to be supportive. Do not give in to this hate, brother.”

 

Elladan sighed, realizing his brother was right. “I am glad this nightmare is over.”

 

Suddenly a servant appeared. The Elf walked up to them, bowed and then addressed them. “Forgive me for disturbing you at such a delicate moment, but another guest has arrived.”

 

“A guest?” Puzzled, Elladan locked eyes with his brother. “We are not expecting anyone, are we?

 

Elrohir shook his head. “No one that I am aware of. Who is it?”

 

“It is Legolas, the youngest son of Thranduil.”

 

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 18

 

 

A worried expression appeared on Elladan’s face. During their short sparring match Thranduil had told him about his sons, but he had never expected to actually meet one. “Legolas…” He paused, looked at his brother and nodded. “Thranduil mentioned him to me.”

 

“What should I do?” asked the servant. In the distance the last flames were dying, and in their reflection he could see Elrond and Thranduil, slowly heading for the half-Elf’s quarters. He didn’t want to disturb the two Elf Lords during such a painful moment.

 

“We will take care of this,” said Elladan after exchanging another look with his twin.

 

“And tomorrow morning we will tell Thranduil that Legolas has arrived.” Elrohir felt it was important that tonight Thranduil and his father could talk about everything that had happened lately.

 

The servant bowed slightly. “I asked Legolas to wait in the Halls of Fire.”

 

“We will welcome him and then escort him to the guest rooms,” said Elladan, taking charge.

 

The servant, relieved that the twins would see to their guest, returned to his duties.

 

“What do we say?” asked Elladan.

 

Elrohir shrugged his shoulders. “The words will come to us.” Then he mused, “I wonder what Legolas is like. Do you think he will resemble his father?”

 

“Elrohir, he is bound to find out about his father and ours…” Unable to finish, his voice faded. “Do you think he will accept their love?”

 

“We can worry about that later,” said Elrohir, being the voice of reason. “We should welcome him first.”

 

The two dark-haired half-Elves headed for the Halls of Fire, wondering why Legolas had arrived so unexpectedly.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Legolas waited patiently, hoping Elrond Peredhel would allow him to meet up with his father shortly. He realized that his arrival was unexpected, but he carried a message from Celeborn, who had asked him to deliver it to his father when he had been passing through Lothlorien. He liked Celeborn and Galadriel, he always had, and had assured them that carrying this message to his father was no burden at all.

 

Apparently Orcs had been sighted on Lothlorien’s borders, and Celeborn was becoming worried that the foul creatures would grow increasingly bolder. This was a danger they should face together, instead of fighting separately.

 

Straightening out his tunic, his gaze traveled to the entrance, hearing voices. He was surprised to see two young, dark-haired Elves enter, instead of a much older Elrond Peredhel. He had never met any of the Peredhil and felt curious. He raised an eyebrow, realizing the two half-Elves looked identical.

 

/Twins. Ada once told me about Elrond’s sons./ So Elrond had sent his sons to welcome him. Was the older half-Elf too busy to welcome him personally? Had something happened? He knew his father had been worried because Eridhren wanted to accompany him. Had this something to do with Eridhren? He had always known the Elf presented a danger.

 

The twins came to a halt in front of him and Legolas politely inclined his head in greeting.

 

“Welcome, Legolas, son of Thranduil. I am Elladan, son of Elrond and this is my younger brother, Elrohir. You are most welcome in Imladris.” Elladan smiled at the Mirkwood prince. Legolas looked like a younger version of Thranduil, but the large, blue eyes definitely set father and son apart.

 

“Thank you for your kind words, Elladan, son of Elrond.” Legolas studied them, and found himself wondering if there was a way to tell them apart. Both half-Elves were dressed in long, brown robes and their hair had been braided according to their station. They truly were a magnificent sight.

 

Elrohir spoke next. “The night is already upon us and I assume you would like to rest before speaking with your father. Please allow us to guide you to your guest rooms.” He caught himself staring dreamily at the golden-haired beauty. Something about Legolas had immediately caught his attention. He had never felt such an instant attraction before, and he quickly averted his eyes to make sure the blond couldn’t read the confusion in them.

 

Legolas looked questioningly at Elrohir. He had hoped to speak with his father as quickly as possible, but he was willing to wait until the morning. “Thank you for your hospitality.”

 

Elrohir nodded his head once, feeling surprisingly nervous when he raised his hand to direct Legolas in the right direction.

 

Legolas followed Elladan and looked at Elrohir when the twin fell into step beside him. His father had told him about Elrond and most of the time sadness and regret had sounded in Thranduil’s voice, when he had expected to hear anger and frustration. It was no secret to him that his father had once loved Elrond.

 

Elrohir’s eyes danced nervously, stealing glances at their guest. Legolas was fluid elegance and his hair glimmered like Arien. But the eyes were what stunned him most. Looking at the blue orbs, he felt like staring into the sky, warmed by the sun. Suddenly Elladan looked at him over his shoulder and he quickly lowered his gaze. His twin knew him through and through and had probably figured out he felt attracted to the blond.

 

They reached the guest rooms and Elladan opened the door to let Legolas enter. “Is there anything you need? A servant will bring you some refreshments and in the morning you will be escorted to the dining room so you can speak with your father.”

 

Legolas’ gaze swept through the room, finding it furnished luxuriously. He was hungry and thirsty and already looking forward to those refreshments Elladan had hinted at. “I will be fine.”

 

“If anything is amiss just contact one of the servants.” Elladan took a step back and bumped into his brother, who was still staring at Legolas. Intent on saving his twin from more embarrassment, he turned Elrohir around and quickly pulled him along. “What is wrong with you?” he asked, hearing Legolas close the door behind him. “What has gotten into you?”

 

Elrohir shook his head, trying to clear it of Legolas’ image, and then looked at his brother. “I do not dare say the words.”

 

“What words?” Elladan quickly steered his younger brother into the corridor their rooms were in. A moment later, he opened the door, closed it again and now that they were in the privacy of his rooms, he placed his hands on Elrohir’s shoulders. “What is wrong? Elrohir, you worry me! I have never seen you act like this before!”

 

Elrohir swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. “You will think me insane.”

 

Elladan was now really growing worried. Why was his brother acting this peculiarly? “Why would I think that?”

 

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” There, he had said it. Now Elrohir closed his eyes; he didn’t want to see Elladan laugh at him for this folly. But he couldn’t deny the sweet, maddening desire that was rushing through his veins. “I never did. Until now.”

 

Elladan’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Love at first sight? Elrohir, what are you trying to tell me? Is it Legolas?”

 

Elrohir nodded, but his eyes remained closed. “I never felt anything like it before. I cannot describe the feelings coursing through me.” In the end, his eyes opened to look at Elladan, now that no laughter was forthcoming. “I have never been in love before, but this feeling swept me off my feet.”

 

Elladan studied his younger brother. He could tell Elrohir was serious from the look in his twin’s eyes. A new passion had taken up residence in them, and yet, there was also confusion and fear. “I never experienced love at first sight, but I do think it exists.”

 

Elrohir sighed, relieved. “Brother, do not leave me alone tonight. And talk to me. Maybe your closeness and the sound of your voice will keep my thoughts from straying back to Legolas.”

 

Elladan steered his brother toward his bed and sat him down. After pulling up a chair, he sat down and clasped Elrohir’s hands in his. “You do not wish to feel this way?”

 

Elrohir looked at him pleadingly. “Elladan, think about it. He is Thranduil’s son. What would father and Thranduil say, should I tell them about this unexpected attraction? We should be like brothers, and now I find myself attracted to him.”

 

Elladan understood Elrohir’s worries, but only to a certain degree. He sighed, wondering when things would go back to normal so they could get some rest. Seeing Elrohir’s distressed expression, he opted for humor. “It seems you have inherited Ada’s preference for beautiful, golden-haired Elves then.”

 

For one brief moment Elrohir stared at his brother in shock. Then Elladan smiled warmly at him and he couldn’t help returning that smile. But in the end, the smile faded again. “Will you help me fight this?”

 

Elladan frowned; his brother’s frantic tone worried him. “Fight this? Elrohir, in Elbereth’s name, why do you want to fight this?”

 

“He is the son of Ada’s lover! How can I possibly...” His voice faltered. “I cannot feel this way about Legolas.”

 

Elladan gave Elrohir a thoughtful glance. “I do not think you should fight it.”

 

“But Ada and Thranduil will never allow it!”

 

Elladan’s frown deepened. “Why do you think that?”

 

“I just know.”

 

“I think you are making a mistake in judgment, but I will stay close in the mean time, if that is what you want.”

 

Elrohir nodded thankfully. “I felt so incredibly nervous when he stared at me. Elladan, what is happening to me? Even now, all I can think about are his eyes.” He felt utterly helpless, and that feeling scared him.

 

“My brother, you are in love,” said Elladan, smiling. “Enjoy it.”

 

But Elrohir shook his head and then lowered his eyes. “I am scared.”

 

Elladan shifted over onto the bed and enfolded his brother in his arms. “You do not have to be scared.” Holding Elrohir, he thought back to the golden-haired prince that had arrived today. /You had better not hurt his feelings, Legolas./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Thranduil sat down on the bed and stared at the remains of the pyre. Was it wrong to feel relieved now that Eridhren was dead?

 

“Here, have some miruvor.” Elrond pressed a glass filled with the potent liquid into the blond’s hand and then stood beside him, watching the swirling black ashes as well. “You have finally been released from his presence. Guarding him during all these centuries must have been tiring.”

 

“It was,” admitted Thranduil, sipping. He looked up and made eye contact with the half-Elf. “Erestor is finally free.”

 

Elrond sat down next to the blond and held Thranduil’s gaze. “We need to talk, nîn glaur. Are you cross with me for telling them the truth?”

 

“It could not be helped. Lying to them felt wrong as well.” He took another sip, and it burned his throat.

 

“I did not want to lie to them either,” said Elrond. He slowly raised one hand and wrapped a strand of golden hair around his fingertip. “We should discuss our future.”

 

Feeling uncomfortable, Thranduil sipped again. The miruvor was quickly traveling to his head, making him speak freely. “What future? I will return to Mirkwood and you will stay here. All we have is the moment.”

 

Elrond frowned. “It does not have to be that way.”

 

Thranduil quickly emptied his glass, got to his feet, and walked over to the cabinet where he refilled his glass. He seldom drank miruvor, but now craved the rush it would bring. Now that he had found out that Elrond returned his love, he didn’t want to lose it again -- but losing the half-Elf was inevitable.

 

Worried, Elrond rose and joined Thranduil. “What is really troubling you?” He placed his glass on the table and then rested his hands on the blond’s hips, turning him around so they were facing each other.

 

“I do not want to live without you,” admitted Thranduil, breathlessly. “I have been alone for so long. Now that I have tasted love again I do not want to go without it.”

 

Elrond’s eyes filled with love and understanding. “I never realized how much I hurt you.”

 

Thranduil’s gaze dropped. “First I lost you, then my father, and I only led one third of my people home. Death quickly became a constant in my life and I wished you were still there with me. But I had lost you as well.”

 

Elrond led Thranduil to the bed, where they sat down. “What happened next?”

 

“I grieved for everyone and everything I had lost. I was afraid I would follow my father to Mandos, but then Aewithôn entered my life. She was like a refreshing breeze, when I felt suffocated. I tried to push her away, but she stopped me. Her persistence warmed my heart and I began to greatly care about her. It was never passion; what Aewithôn and I shared was more of a spiritual nature. She gave me two sons. Valthoron, my oldest took after her, but Legolas… He reminds me of myself when I was much younger, but he is more confident, and wiser than I ever was.” 

 

“I am glad you found comfort in her arms,” offered Elrond.

 

“When I began to court her I told her about you. My love for you. I still wonder if that was a mistake. She spent the rest of her life living in your shadow.”

 

Elrond’s gaze dropped. “I am sorry.”

 

“We found happiness in seeing our sons grow up,” continued Thranduil, “but after several millennia she realized she could not win over a ghost. My heart never fully belonged to her. Mentally tired and emotionally exhausted, she told me she needed to rest. She sailed for Valinor the day after Legolas reached his majority. We still mourn her departure.”

 

Elrond grew saddened, hearing Thranduil’s tale. “I do not know what to say.”

 

“There is nothing to say,” said Thranduil, shrugging his shoulders. “I find comfort in the thought that she is happy now.” After this emotional bloodletting, Thranduil emptied his glass again, enjoying the dizzy sensation that now swept through his head. The warmth that spread through his body finally relaxed his tense and cramped muscles. “Must we speak of this?”

 

Seeing the unfocused expression in Thranduil’s eyes, Elrond took hold of the blond’s empty glass and placed it on the floor. “You have had enough.” He wanted to discuss something important and needed Thranduil clear-headed.

 

Thranduil now stared at his empty hands, lying idly in his lap. Elrond’s heart contracted with sympathy. “I want to discuss our future because I have this idea…”

 

“What idea?” Sighing dejectedly, Thranduil reluctantly met the half-Elf’s eyes.

 

“My sons are old enough to rule Imladris. It is time they accepted their responsibilities -- and your sons are capable of ruling Mirkwood. We could spend a year in Imladris and the next in Mirkwood. That way we could stay together. What do you think?” Elrond paused, seeing the stunned disbelief in Thranduil’s feline eyes. “I mean it, nîn glaur. This does not have to end when you return to Mirkwood.”

 

“You would come with me and live with me in Mirkwood? I cannot let you make such a sacrifice.” Suddenly realizing how close Elrond was, the urge to kiss the half-Elf’s lips overwhelmed him. “By Elbereth, I need you.” The wine made him bold and he leaned in, claiming Elrond’s lips and possessively wrapping his arms around the half-Elf. “I want you so badly,” he breathed into his lover’s mouth.

 

A pang of arousal swept through Elrond’s body, pooling in his groin. Growing erect, he let himself fall back onto the bed and Thranduil straddled him within seconds, eagerly rubbing his erection against him. This was what he had dreamt of; a possessive and an eager Thranduil. “Take me, nîn glaur. Make love to me.”

 

The look Thranduil directed at him, made goose flesh appear all over his body. Never before had the blond looked this predatorily at him. Suddenly Thranduil bowed forward, brutally claiming his lips and forcing himself a way past his teeth to explore his mouth. It had been like this with Gil-galad, and now that Thranduil was acting in the same way his entire body felt on fire. “Please take me…” He wasn’t beyond begging at this time. His erection throbbed painfully and he couldn’t wait to feel his lover move inside him.

 

Elrond’s eagerness urged Thranduil on. Drunk on the miruvor, it was easier to let go and try new things. His hand stole inside Elrond’s robes, quickly unbuttoning them until he could push them aside. Staring at Elrond’s smooth, hairless chest and slender hips, he pinched a nipple and then rolled the hard flesh between his fingertips. The moan that left the half-Elf’s lips went straight to his groin. “Now, I want you now.”

 

“You have me,” moaned Elrond, blissfully. Thranduil continued to remove his robes and he sighed, relieved when his erection was freed from its confines. But he stopped the blond when Thranduil wanted to remove his clothes as well. “Now.”

 

Thranduil was too enraptured to question Elrond’s demand. He unlaced his breeches, pushed aside any cloth that was in the way and searched for anything he could use to ease his way inside. Elrond, moaning and reaching frantically for him, seemed frustrated with the delay, so he explained. “Do you have anything I can use?”

 

Elrond understood and pointed at the vial of oil on the nightstand, which he usually rubbed onto his skin after taking a bath. “That will do. And now hurry!” He raised his hips, urging Thranduil on.

 

Thranduil took hold of the vial and generously coated his erection with the slippery oil. Had he been thinking rationally he would have stopped to prepare his lover, but the need to be one with the half-Elf was overwhelming. He parted his lover’s legs, knelt between them and then draped the long legs over his shoulders. With one hand he gathered Elrond’s wrists and brought them together above the half-Elf’s head.

 

Elrond’s member twitched with excitement. “Aiya, take me! I cannot wait any longer!” The fact that he was completely at Thranduil’s mercy thrilled him. Although he could easily free his hands, he didn’t, showing the blond how much he appreciated the fact that he was taking control of the situation. “Please…”

 

Thranduil surrendered to the overpowering urge to bury himself in Elrond’s body and positioned himself at the tight opening. Locking eyes with the dark-haired half-Elf, he waited for Elrond to nod and then pushed inside.

 

Elrond released a choked yelp as the invasive feeling grew. Pain and pleasure mixed and danced through his body. “More… Deeper!”

 

Thranduil growled possessively and looked at their joined bodies now that his erection was disappearing into the tight channel. With one grunt, that erupted from deeply within his throat, his heavy balls slapped against Elrond’s buttocks, burying himself completely. Staring down at the trapped half-Elf, he maintained his hold on Elrond’s wrists.

 

Throwing back his head, he pulled out, and then pushed inside again. Both groaned in pleased surprise and Thranduil slightly changed the angle of his thrusts. He aimed for his lover’s sweet spot, hoping to ease Elrond’s discomfort, which had finally registered in his lust filled brain.

 

Pushing back, Elrond stared at the blond in rapture. His wildest dream was quickly becoming true and he screamed his pleasure when Thranduil’s thrusts became harder and deeper. Abandoned to the thrusts, he pushed back. His own erection dripped pre-ejaculate, but he couldn’t touch himself now that Thranduil had a tight hold on his wrists. “Please…” he whimpered again when the golden-haired Elf’s thrusts shoved him over the bed toward the head end. The force of Thranduil’s thrusts increased and Elrond moaned deliriously when his erection twitched again, this time releasing warm cream. His pupils dilated, realizing Thranduil had stopped thrusting.

 

Thranduil bowed his head, succumbing to the intense ecstasy that now washed over him. Elrond’s inner muscle contracted around him, milking him dry.

 

The long, golden locks touching his bare chest were torment and ecstasy at the same time, making Elrond groan. Finally their gazes met and Thranduil instantly released his wrists, staring at him in disbelief. Elrond quickly brought up his arms behind the blond’s back and pulled him close, wrapping his legs around his waist, all to make sure Thranduil didn’t pull out yet. 

 

Finally realizing he had allowed his urges to control him, Thranduil stared at Elrond in disbelief. “What did I do?”

 

“You made love to me,” said Elrond, teasingly. “And I loved it.”

 

“You did?” Thranduil frowned. “But…”

 

“I came, didn’t I?” Elrond soothingly stroked the golden locks. “I need to confess something… I like it when you take control.”

 

“You do?” Thranduil’s eyes had widened in surprise. “But I did not prepare you properly and—“

 

Elrond’s fingers now trailed down the long hair, slipped into Thranduil’s robes and effortlessly located one hard nipple, which he pinched teasingly, secretly hoping the blond would grow hard again whilst still inside him. “Will you make love to me again, nîn glaur?” Using his hold on Thranduil, he pulled the Elf close enough to kiss him.

 

Thranduil groaned when Elrond kissed him hard. What was the half-Elf doing to him? Elrond, rolling one of his nipples between his fingertips, sucked on the tip of his tongue and… “What?” he panted the word, realizing he was growing hard again. “I am still inside you…”

 

“Then take me again.”

 

“You will be sore.”

 

“I do not mind,” whispered Elrond, slowly rocking his hips. “Not as long as you make love to me.”

 

Unable to deny Elrond, Thranduil planted a passionate kiss on the half-Elf’s lips. “Then I will make love to you until the day we die.”

 

 

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 19

 

 

Glorfindel led Erestor back to his rooms. After closing the door behind him, he steered the trembling Elf to the fire place, where they slowly went down onto their knees. Erestor’s arms came up behind him, pressing him close. Glorfindel returned the embrace, waited for the shaking Elf to rest his head on his shoulder and then rocked him slowly until the emotional storm had passed.

 

“I… am-m s-so s-sor--ry…” stuttered Erestor, his face buried in Glorfindel’s silken hair. “I n-never…w-wwant-ted t-to f-fall… apart l-like this-s.” He felt ashamed for breaking down in front of the Elda. It was beyond him why Glorfindel continued to put up with him.

 

Glorfindel drew in a deep, steadying breath. “You need to let go, nîn amdir. You have kept this locked up inside you for so long, and now that it is finally allowed a way out, your pain demands to be heard. Do not feel ashamed or embarrassed, melamin.”

 

Erestor continued to sob for a few more minutes and then lifted his head, making eye contact with the blond. “Why are you s-still here? Aren’t you f-fed up yet with m-my behavior?”

 

Glorfindel’s eyes shone with love and understanding. “I am not your father, Erestor. I won’t get cross with you for being upset.”

 

Feeling caught, Erestor lowered his gaze at once. He had wondered when Glorfindel would be angry with him for the first time, but so far the Elda had only shown patience and understanding. “I am s-sor—“

 

But Glorfindel interrupted him. “There is no reason to be sorry, melamin. Just allow me to comfort you.” Erestor’s tears stopped and using his sleeve, Glorfindel wiped away the tears still sitting on the dark-haired Elf’s face. “Do you feel better now?”

 

Erestor nodded reluctantly. It was true; he did feel better. “And n-now what?” He felt adrift on a sea of emotions and couldn’t think straight.

 

“Now we will take a hot bath, dress you in a sleeping robe and then I will hold you tight for the rest of the night.” Glorfindel smiled proudly, realizing he had made Erestor smile. “I take it you would like that?”

 

Erestor smiled shyly. “Aye, I w-would.” The Elda got to his feet and pulled him along into the bathroom. Suddenly his nervousness returned. Did Glorfindel plan on them taking that bath together? Shuffling his feet, he watched in amazement as the blond began to take off his clothes. A moment later, a naked Glorfindel looked at him, raising an eyebrow at finding him still dressed. “I…” he stuttered, embarrassed, wondering what to say or how to act.

 

Glorfindel walked over to Erestor and took the dark-haired Elf’s hands in his. “Do you trust me?” If Erestor said no, his world would shatter into tiny pieces.

 

“I do,” choked out Erestor, “But…” Biting his bottom lip, he stared at the blond’s magnificently shaped body. “I d-do not compare to you.” And he didn’t want Glorfindel to accidentally see the scars on his neck.

 

Unexpectedly Glorfindel began to unbutton his tunic, and Erestor continued to bite his lip, shuffling nervously.

 

To Glorfindel, Erestor looked like a trapped animal, deadly afraid of having to suffer more pain. “Trust yourself to me, melamin. I promise to take good care of you.”

 

Erestor had lowered his gaze and was now staring at Glorfindel’s hands, which removed his belt, letting his robes fall open. “I am a-afraid I will

d-disappoint you,” he admitted in a strangled tone. He flinched when Glorfindel pushed down the robes. They now pooled at his feet, revealing his trembling, naked body to the blond. His breath caught when the golden-haired Elf knelt in front of him, but then he realized Glorfindel wanted him to step out of his boots, which he promptly did.

 

Glorfindel got to his feet again and extended one hand to lead Erestor into the pool of warm, scented water. The pool was big enough for both of them and he slowly guided Erestor down the steps until the water reached their waist. “Sit down.”

 

Probing the ledge, formed beneath the water surface, Erestor slowly sat down and stared at Glorfindel, who reached for the soap. Erestor felt paralyzed when the golden-haired Elf sat next to him, pulling him close. Glorfindel’s legs parted, and the Elda pulled him even closer. His breath caught, feeling the blond’s still lax sex pressed against his buttocks. Overwhelmed, he closed his eyes, but that didn’t stop the tears from rolling down his face.

 

Glorfindel was unaware of the second emotional storm that was now raging inside Erestor and began to tend to his lover’s hair, washing it gently. His gaze was drawn to the scars and he wondered if he could bring them up. He really wanted to know what had caused them. Cupping his hands, he rinsed Erestor’s hair. Frowning, he realized that Erestor’s shoulders shook and the raven-haired Elf had wrapped his arms around his waist. “Melamin, are you crying again?”

 

Glorfindel rested his hands on Erestor’s shoulders and turned the other Elf around so he could look at his face. The tears had reappeared, but there was something else that shone from the dark eyes; fear. But no, that couldn’t be! Why would Erestor be afraid of him? “Nîn amdir? Please confide in me and tell me what has upset you!”

 

Erestor’s lips became a thin line. He knew Glorfindel had no idea what had sparked his fear and he didn’t want the Elda to think this was his fault. “It is n-nothing.” He opened his eyes and hesitantly met Glorfindel’s gaze.

 

Realizing he had to do something, Glorfindel asked, “Does it have something to do with these scars?” He let one fingertip trace the scars and caught Erestor’s startled gasp.

 

“Please… do not t-touch me in that m-manner.” Erestor bowed his head and began to sob again. Just when he had thought things were finally looking up, Glorfindel had to ask that particular question.

 

Glorfindel stopped caressing the damaged skin, but he refused to break off bodily contact and wrapped his arms around Erestor’s waist, forcing the dark-haired Elf to lean into the embrace. Erestor seemed reluctant at first, but then rested his head against the blond's shoulder. Glorfindel released a relieved sigh. “Remember, you can trust me. You can tell me what caused them.”

 

“But I do n-not want to t-tell you!” Erestor’s eyes filled with sadness and remembered fear. “I do not w-want you to look at me… w-with loathing in your eyes.”

 

Glorfindel frowned. “Why would I look at you like that?”

 

Erestor trembled, but realized this had to come in the open. He hoped he wouldn’t lose Glorfindel’s love, but the Elda had a right to know the truth.

“P-put your ha-hand on my n-neck.”

 

Glorfindel trembled when he followed Erestor’s instructions. His heart skipped a beat when the raven-haired Elf bowed his head. “What are you doing?”

 

His surroundings suddenly faded. The bathroom was gone and Erestor was back in his father’s house. Eridhren had a tight hold on him, bending him forward. “M-most of the time I br-brought my f-father to orgasm b-by using my hands... or my m-mouth... whatever he d-desired... but in the end… it w-was no longer enough.”

 

Glorfindel started at Erestor’s continued stutter and realized the Elf was lost in his memories. He quickly removed his hand, pulled Erestor against him and stroked the long hair. Giving his lover the time he needed, he waited for Erestor to continue, already dreading the terrible things to come.

 

“He was about to f-force himself on m-me and… and I… I ran. I could n-not let that hap…pen.” Erestor needed to see the expression in Glorfindel’s eyes and looked at the blond. Seeing the sadness and understanding in the sapphire eyes slightly reassured him and made him continue. “I knew... I would d-die if I l-let him t-touch me in that w-way.”

 

“So you ran?” Glorfindel was holding his breath. “You must have been so scared, so confused.”

 

“But even b-back then… I was d-determined to s-survive... and get away from him... I w-wanted a better life for myself… b-but I did not know how… t-to accomplish that.” More tears escaped Erestor’s eyes. “I r-ran…, but he caught me and gave me the worst b-beating I ever had to endure… I ran again... and this ti-time I headed for Thranduil’s throne r-room… I hid b-behind his throne and w-when he f-found me I knew I was s-safe... I begged him to k-keep my fa-father away from me… and he d-did… Only a f-few hours l-later… I was traveling… to Imladris.”

 

Glorfindel tightened his hold on the trembling Elf. Erestor looked startled by this maneuver, but eventually returned the hug. Making sure Erestor was tightly enfolded in the embrace, Glorfindel used one hand to lift the trembling Elf’s face until Erestor finally made eye contact. Staring deeply into the dark pools of pain and sorrow, Glorfindel sighed deeply. “Why did you not tell me earlier? I knew your father abused you, but I never realized he actually tried to force himself on you in that way.” But it explained why Erestor had flinched when he had settled the dark-haired Elf between his legs.

 

“I… c-could not-t t-tell you,” whispered Erestor in an emotional tone. “I could n-not t-tell… anyone. The only one… who k-knew was Thranduil… and… he pr-promised to n-never tell a l-living soul… My secret-t was s-safe… with him.”

 

“It must have been hard for you to build a life here in Imladris.” Glorfindel now caressed the long, wet strands of dark hair, occasionally pushing them behind a delicately curved ear.

 

“It w-was... Elrond wanted to send me b-back… when he realized I had not r-reached m-majority… and I do not know what I w-would have d-done… if he had insisted I l-left. I would n-never have returned home… I would probably have fa-faded.” Erestor studied the Elda’s eyes. Glorfindel seemed shaken, but was still holding him. Did that mean the blond still wanted him?

 

“I will have to thank Elrond for letting you stay then.” Suddenly tired of discussing the past, Glorfindel leaned in closer and touched his lips to Erestor’s. The dark-haired Elf flinched away from the touch and stared at him. “I just want to kiss you, melamin.”

 

Erestor lowered his eyes. “No one e-ever has. I d-do not know how… What…” Confused, he looked pleadingly at the blond. “I do not k-know what to d-do. I have been alone… for so long.”

 

“That has changed, melamin.” Glorfindel determinedly tried again, and this time succeeded in bestowing a gentle kiss on trembling lips.

 

“I will d-disap-p-point you,” repeated Erestor. “E-e-motionally I am a m-mess, and I am not s-sure I will ever be able to r-return your kisses, your touches, and your… l-love.”

 

Glorfindel immediately soothed him. “Melamin, so many things have happened in these last few days and it is understandable that you feel confused. Give yourself the time to recover.”

 

“But you cannot… want a lover who fl-flinches at every t-touch! Who clamps up when k-kissed!”

 

But Glorfindel smiled warmly. “I am not worried about those things, for I am sure you will feel more confident in time, and you do trust me, do you not?” Erestor nodded once, biting his lip again, something which Glorfindel found utterly charming. “Would you wash my hair?” He had to do something to take away the tension that had build between them.

 

Erestor took hold of the soap, and slowly washed Glorfindel’s long mane. Sitting on the Elda’s lap felt odd and he prayed to Elbereth that his lover wouldn’t grow aroused; he wouldn’t be able to deal with that.

 

Glorfindel read that very thought in those dark, startled eyes and realized just how fragile Erestor still was. It would take time for the raven-haired Elf to adjust to his new life. “I love your touch,” he said, trying to reassure Erestor, who was now rinsing his hair. Seeing Erestor blush made him smile warmly. “Will you let me comb and braid your hair later?”

 

Erestor returned Glorfindel’s gaze shyly. “Then the s-scars will show.”

 

“Does it matter?”

 

“I do not want anyone to s-stare at them... They will wonder what caused them.”

 

Glorfindel drew in a deep breath. “Elrond and the twins have already seen them.”

 

Erestor grew pale. “They have…?”

 

“When they cared for you. Elrond told me that one of the twins discovered them. And I do not want to worry you, but I think they already figured out that your father was responsible for them. They might not know the details you just told me, but—“ Glorfindel stopped talking, seeing the embarrassed expression on Erestor’s face. “You should stop worrying about these things. Your father is gone and you should concentrate on your recovery.”

 

Erestor felt nervous. “Why do you want to b-braid my hair?”

 

“Because I love the way it feels when I run my fingers through it, and I have a particular design in mind for these long, beautiful tresses.” Erestor’s pallor changed into a blush, slightly reassuring Glorfindel. “Wait here for me. I will fetch some towels.”

 

Erestor was surprised when the blond lifted him effortlessly and placed him on the ridge beside him. Glorfindel then exited the pool and Erestor’s breathing slightly sped up, seeing droplets slide down the blond’s gorgeous body. He panted in surprise when his groin tightened. He was growing erect, but that couldn’t be happening! Ashamed, he wished his erection would go away, but then Glorfindel bend down to pick up the towels and the perfect round globes sent another wave of desire through his body. Quickly, he closed his eyes. /I cannot lust after him like that. It is wrong./

 

Glorfindel heard Erestor’s sharp intake of breath and looked over his shoulder at the dark-haired Elf. Erestor’s eyes had closed and a panicked expression lay on his face. He quickly hurried back to the pool and searched the Elf’s face. “Melamin?” The blush on Erestor’s face confused him. “Come out of the water. It is growing cold.”

 

“I cannot… do that,” stuttered Erestor in embarrassment.

 

Glorfindel frowned. “Why is that?” He unfolded a towel and held it in front of him, hoping to lure Erestor from the cooling water.

 

“I can… not,” whispered Erestor, panicking now that his arousal refused to fade. Why had he looked at Glorfindel when the blond was bending over?

 

Realization finally dawned on Glorfindel and he trod carefully, knowing that Erestor’s ideas on sexuality differed from his, which was understandable, considering what the Elf had been through with his father. “Melamin, I am honored that my body pleases you. There is nothing wrong with desiring me in that way.”

 

“But it is… wrong,” whispered Erestor, stricken now that the blond had figured out he was erect. “I do not want to… to be like my father.”

 

Glorfindel swallowed hard, dropped the towel and descended into the pool again. His hands now clutched either side of Erestor’s head and he made sure he had the Elf’s undivided attention when he addressed him again. “You are not your father, Erestor. You are a compassionate and caring soul, who deserves to be loved. Please do not be afraid to explore the physical side of our love.” He paused, uncertain if he should address this now, but in the end, he decided he should. “You have never had a lover before?”

 

“Never,” whispered Erestor, nervously.

 

“But you did touch yourself when the tension in your body became too much?” Glorfindel knew this topic made Erestor uncomfortable, but it was better to discuss it now.

 

His arousal was fading now that they were discussing this and Erestor sighed, distressed. “Only when I had to… I tried to do it at little as possible.”

 

Glorfindel cursed Eridhren for doing this to Erestor. “It is normal to find pleasure in touching yourself, melamin.” Taking the plunge into the deep, he added, “I would like to touch you and bring you pleasure.”

 

“Right n-now?” Erestor’s throat tightened with tension. His voice sounded hoarse when he added, “Why?”

 

Glorfindel chose his words carefully. “What your father did was wrong. Forcing you to touch him like that was wrong. He should never have done that, and because of it you never found pleasure in touching your body. I want to bring you pleasure and show you that there is nothing wrong when lovers touch each other in that way. I want to see passion and rapture in your eyes. I want you to pant my name when reaching orgasm. Let me free the passion that you have kept locked away for so long?”

 

Erestor blushed, hearing Glorfindel’s words. “It is still beyond me… w-why you want me.”

 

“I know you do not understand,” said the Elda in a saddened tone. His hands dived beneath the water and he entwined his fingers with Erestor’s. “The water has turned cold. Come with me and let me dry your skin and braid your hair.” The sensual moment had passed, and he could tell by looking into the dark eyes that Erestor’s arousal had faded.

 

Erestor nodded slowly. Glorfindel was right; the water was cold and making him shiver. He followed the Elda out of the water and allowed Glorfindel to wrap several warm towels around his trembling frame. After the blond had rubbed him dry, Glorfindel reached for a sleeping robe and told him to put it on, which he gladly did. Being naked made him feel uncomfortable.

 

Glorfindel quickly dried his skin and then slipped into a shirt, which barely covered his private parts and buttocks. He took hold of Erestor’s hand and led the Elf back into the bedroom, where he sat him down in front of the mirror, running first his fingers and then a comb through the black, tangled mass of hair.

 

Erestor still felt nervous, occasionally catching a glance of the half-naked Elf behind him. The fact that certain body parts were still visible unnerved him. Part of him wanted to reach out and touch the smooth skin, but another recalled his father touching him like that, and the last thing he wanted was for Glorfindel to feel pressured.

 

Glorfindel read the conflicting emotions in Erestor’s eyes and it was the very reason why he refused to cover up more of his body. He hoped Erestor would feel more comfortable in time, maybe even confident enough to actually touch him when seeing him naked. “Would you open the bottom drawer for me?”

 

Erestor reached forward and opened the drawer, revealing a wooden box. He arched an eyebrow questioningly.

 

“Take it out of the drawer and place it on the dressing table.” Glorfindel noticed the apprehension in Erestor’s eyes and sighed. The raven-haired Elf said he trusted him, but was that the truth? And could he blame Erestor for being careful and suspicious after everything he had been through? “Now open it.”

 

Erestor’s fingers trembled when he opened the box. Tiny golden beads in the shape of flowers, and a circlet, with a flower woven into the gold, glimmered in the velvet clad box. Then he remembered; he had seen Glorfindel wear this on formal occasions. The circlet represented the house he belonged to when he had been captain of the Golden Flower in Gondolin.

 

“Hand me one of the beads?” Glorfindel had braided Erestor’s hair into small plaits and now added the first bead, weaving it into the dark tresses.

 

“What are you d-doing?” Big-eyed, Erestor stared at the blond, who now told him to hand him more beads. He had never before worn his hair braided and now Glorfindel was also decorating it with golden, flower-shaped beads.

 

“I want to see you wear these. I think they will suit you very well.” Glorfindel ignored Erestor’s confused expression and reached for the front tresses, putting the same knots in them which Elrond liked to wear, once more adding the beads.

 

“W-why are you doing-g this?” Erestor swallowed hard. “I have hidden these s-scars my entire l-life, and n-now… you… are…” His voice faded, seeing the disappointed expression on Glorfindel’s face in the mirror. Now he felt guilty for disappointing the blond!

 

Glorfindel sighed. “Do you want me to remove them?” He had hoped that Erestor was ready to stop hiding the wounds which Eridhren had inflicted on him.

 

Erestor almost nodded his head, but in the end, he whispered, “Leave them in-n.” Instantly the smile returned to Glorfindel’s face and he couldn’t help smiling back. “But I do think it looks r-ridiculous.”

 

“Why?” Glorfindel finished weaving the last bead into the dark hair and then checked his handiwork. Erestor looked breathtaking and he swore he saw golden specks in the dark eyes. Bending forward, he wrapped his arms around Erestor. “I think you look breathtaking, nîn amdir.”

 

A fierce blush spread across Erestor’s features and he quickly averted his eyes. “I do n-not look breathtaking. The s-scars make me look ugly.” Then he sucked in his breath when Glorfindel’s soft lips touched the scars, kissing the damaged skin. He was about to ask the Elda to stop when Glorfindel’s fingers softly stroked the plaits, and that gesture took him aback, rendering him speechless. The amount of love displayed in the kisses and touches nearly brought tears to his eyes.

 

“I have not finished yet,” whispered Glorfindel into Erestor’s ear. He reached past the dark-haired Elf and took hold of the golden circlet.

 

“No… Please… Don’t.” Erestor squirmed on the chair, lifting pleading eyes to meet Glorfindel’s determined ones. “Why… are you… doing this?”

 

“I want you to know how much I love you.”

 

“But others might see me w-wear it and…”

 

“Hush now, nîn amdir. I want others to see you wear it. I want everyone to know just how much I love you.” Skilled fingers quickly worked the circlet into the braids until the coronet sat tightly in the long hair. “I have no ring to give you… yet, that is… but I hope this will prove my love to you. I want you as my life partner, my mate, do you understand that? I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”

 

Erestor moved on the chair until he was facing Glorfindel, who now lowered himself onto his heels so they were level and could look into each other’s eyes. “But you can do *so* much better. I am scarred for life.”

 

Glorfindel determinedly shook his head. “I refuse to believe that. I understand that you feel like that right now, because your father reappeared, but you will feel more comfortable in time. And I will do my best to prove to you that I love you.” He smiled warmly, wrapped his arms around Erestor’s waist and rested his head in the dark-haired Elf’s lap.

 

Erestor didn’t know what to make of Glorfindel’s affectionate gesture and slowly raised a hand to caress the golden hair. He nearly froze, hearing the blond purr his contentment at feeling his touch. “What do I do with you…? Why won’t you listen to reason…?”

 

Glorfindel raised his head and grinned at Erestor. “You want to know what you should do with me? Love me. It is as simple as that.”

 

“Not… that simple.” Erestor sighed deeply. The night’s events were catching up with him and he was growing tired. He doubted however, that he would be able to sleep.

 

Catching the fatigue in the dark eyes, Glorfindel rose to his feet and pulled him along to the bed. “We should sleep now. Arien will rise in a few hours and I want you rested in the morning.”

 

Erestor went willingly, trying hard to avoid looking at the smooth round globes that showed beneath the blond’s shirt. Another pang of arousal swept through him, nearly making him sway. Lying down, he quickly pulled up the covers, hoping the Elda hadn’t noticed the return of his erection.

 

But Glorfindel had, and when he lay down, he allowed the shirt to move up his stomach, revealing his lax member, nestled in a bed of blond hair. Erestor’s eyes seemed glued to his groin and he easily identified the curiosity and fear in the dark eyes. It would be a while before Erestor would dare touch him. “Would you snuggle up to me? I would love to hold you close tonight.”

 

Erestor closed his eyes and returned to biting his bruised lip. He slowly moved closer to Glorfindel, rested his head against the blond’s shoulder, and tentatively wrapped one arm around the Elda’s waist. When his fingertips encountered bare skin, he blushed. The sensation sent another wave of desire through him and confusion overwhelmed him. What, in Elbereth’s name, was happening to him? His hand rested on a slender hip and he gasped when Glorfindel draped one leg possessively over his, keeping him in place.

 

“Please open your eyes and look at me,” requested Glorfindel in a soft tone.

 

Unable to deny the blond, Erestor locked eyes with him. Did Glorfindel know what kind of confusing sensations were coursing through him? But no, the Elda couldn’t possibly know he was hard again and… Aiya, probing fingers brushed his erection and he wanted to jerk back, but Glorfindel held him in place. “What…?”

 

“Will you allow me to touch you? I want to pleasure you.” And maybe Erestor would manage to fall asleep after climaxing. Maybe releasing this tension would ease his troubled mind -- or at least Glorfindel hoped so.

 

Erestor, caught up in his feelings, couldn’t believe he was actually nodding his head, giving the blond permission to touch him. He didn’t know why he longed for Glorfindel’s touch, but he did. He wanted to get as close to the Elda as possible, and when skilled fingers curled themselves around his throbbing erection, his eyes widened impossibly.

 

“Be at ease, melamin. I love you and want to give you pleasure.” Glorfindel moved a little closer and gently claimed Erestor’s lips. The dark-haired Elf wavered, but then the lips and teeth parted, allowing him to dive into the warm cavern. Moaning into Erestor’s mouth, he stroked his lover’s hard flesh, enjoying the feel of pre-ejaculate that now dripped from the head. Releasing Erestor’s lips, he smiled and teasingly licked the bruised lips.

 

Erestor couldn’t believe this was really happening. Glorfindel was doing incredible things to him. One hand continued to stroke his arousal, whilst the other gently massaged the sac, bringing him to a shattering orgasm within seconds. His body shook and his mind was barely capable of accepting the pleasure that coursed through his body. Shaking like a leaf, he clung to Glorfindel, riding out maddening waves of ecstasy.

 

Looking into blue eyes, Erestor found them swimming with tears. “Are you… crying?” His body was still shaking with ecstasy when he gently wiped one tear from Glorfindel’s cheek. “Why?”

 

Glorfindel smiled through his tears. “Because I am so happy!”

 

“Happy?” Erestor still trembled, quickly gathering Glorfindel close to him. The hand that had brought him to orgasm now rested on his hip, beneath his sleeping robe, and caressed his bare skin.

 

“Aye, happy, because you trusted me enough to allow me to touch you in that way. I could tell that you were scared.” Glorfindel wiped away his tears and then grinned impishly. “You made me come.”

 

Erestor frowned, puzzled. Stealing a look at Glorfindel’s groin he saw that the blond had found release as well. “But how? I never touched you.”

 

“Seeing you climax, and knowing I was the one doing this to you, made me come too.” The impish smile remained on his face, as he kissed Erestor’s lips one more time. “You have no idea what you do to me, do you?”

 

Erestor, still mystified, shook his head. “I am still trying to understand why you even want to be with me.”

 

Glorfindel knew it was the truth and nodded once. “Let me clean us up and then we will try to sleep, agreed?”

 

Still puzzled, Erestor nodded. He sighed, distressed, when Glorfindel released him to fetch a wash cloth, and curled up where the blond’s body had been, soaking up the warmth that still radiated from the mattress.

 

Glorfindel found him like that, dozing off already and he quickly cleaned them up. After disposing of the wash cloth, he slipped into bed again and Erestor immediately curled up against him, draping a leg across his thigh. The dark-haired Elf was clinging to him like his very life depended on it. “Sleep well, nîn amdir, and may you dream of our love.” He kissed Erestor’s brow and enfolded the Elf in a warm hug. “I will never let you go again.”

 

Erestor, who was balanced between sleep and a waking state, still caught Glorfindel’s words. Sleepy, and feeling sated after reaching orgasm, he whispered, “I love you, nîn meril, my golden flower…”

 

Glorfindel beamed with pride and love, hearing Erestor’s admission. The raven-haired Elf was finally beginning to open up to him and obviously trusted him. “I will never betray your trust or your love,” he vowed, his eyes growing heavy with sleep as well.

 

Within minutes both were sound asleep.

 

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

Dinîf en Qualen.

Part 20

 

 

When Erestor opened his eyes the next morning, he found that he was still in Glorfindel’s arms. The golden-haired Elf was sound asleep with his face nestled in the crook of his shoulder. Tentatively he raised a hand and caressed the long, silk hair, marveling at its beauty. What, in Elbereth’s name, did Glorfindel see in him?

 

The Elda purred against his shoulder, moving closer to him, and Erestor sucked in his breath, feeling Glorfindel’s erection brush his hip. What was he to do? He could pretend he was still asleep and ignore his lover’s arousal. The last thing he wanted was for Glorfindel to wake up.

 

Stealthily, his hand drifted lower, down the fabric of the silk shirt and eventually encountered, hot, soft skin. Glorfindel smelled like a meadow, after a refreshing rain shower had released all kinds of sweet fragrances. The blond was seductive in his sleep and Erestor quickly pulled back his hand, berating himself for touching his lover when he was still asleep.

 

Several long moments passed and still Glorfindel wouldn’t wake up. Now the golden-haired Elf even began to thrust against him, moaning pleadingly. Erestor swallowed hard, feeling at a loss. He wanted to return the pleasure Glorfindel had given him, but the blond was asleep! He couldn’t touch him like that! It reminded him too much of finding his father at his bedside, fondling him. And although it had happened many decades ago, it felt like it had happened only yesterday.

 

“E…res…tor…” Glorfindel moaned and even in his sleep, his fingers curled in the black hair.

 

Biting his lip, Erestor wondered what to do. Maybe waking Glorfindel was the best thing to do after all. “Glorfindel, wake up,” whispered Erestor, rubbing the blond’s hip. The skin seemed to grow hot beneath his touch and he flinched away, letting his fingers tangle in the golden locks instead. “Wake up…” He sighed, relieved, when Glorfindel’s eyes filled with awareness. “I do not know what to do.”

 

Glorfindel frowned, wondering what Erestor was referring to. “What is it, melamin?”

 

“You… are… hard,” stuttered Erestor, nervously.

 

Glorfindel smiled, relieved that nothing was wrong. “That is fairly normal.”

 

Erestor averted his eyes. “I… would like to return… the pleasure you gave me…. last night…” Squirming in Glorfindel’s embrace, he stared at his lover. “But not when you were… asleep.”

 

Glorfindel thought he understood what was going on. “Your father would approach you in your sleep?” The mere thought was enough to make his morning erection go away.

 

Now Erestor felt guilty for worrying Glorfindel. The blond’s arousal had faded and he knew it was because of what he had just revealed to his new lover. “It happened a few times, yes.” Suddenly he was buried in a warm, all-enveloping hug. Glorfindel was squeezing the breath from his lungs and he gasped. “Please…”

 

Realizing Erestor was having difficulty breathing, Glorfindel loosened the hug. “I just want to hold you and keep you safe for the rest of your life.” Erestor blushed, which made him smile. “Are you hungry, melamin?”

 

“I think so,” admitted Erestor slowly. It had been a while since he had eaten a full meal, and breakfast was probably being served right now. “Do you want to head for the dining room to eat breakfast?”

 

“That,” said Glorfindel, leaning in to press a teasing kiss on the tip of Erestor’s nose, “is an excellent idea.” Erestor stared at him, cross-eyed, when Glorfindel treated the tip of his nose to one sensual lick. “And now, we need to leave this warm bed!”

 

Erestor regretted letting go of Glorfindel, but watched the Elda as he walked over to his closet, not bothering to hide his private parts. “I do not have any clothes,” realized Erestor. “I will need to go to my rooms.” His features briefly contorted. “Aiya, I do not think I can ever go in there again.” He would always see Eridhren lying on the floor, blood pooling beneath him.

 

“I will ask one of the servants to gather your personal belongings and to bring them here,” decided Glorfindel, still checking the content of his closet. “You can wear my robes until then.”

 

“Yours?” Erestor swung his feet onto the floor and rose from the bed. Slowly, he walked over to the blond, who had now selected a robe, made of a silk like material in a lovely shade of mauve. On the sleeves golden flowers had been embroiled.

 

“Would you were these? I do think they will suit you.” Glorfindel handed Erestor, who looked stunned, the robes and then reached to push back a wayward plait.

 

“I do not wear colors like this…” Erestor stared at the valuable garment, knowing it was one of Glorfindel’s formal robes.

 

Glorfindel unhappily shook his head. “You wear black, grey and brown, and that is it. Very depressing colors, melamin. Why not try something new? The robes would go well with the circlet.” The confused stare that Erestor aimed at him, made him smile. “The long winter of your life has passed. It is summer now.”

 

Erestor resigned himself to Glorfindel’s cheerfulness. “I will wear them.”

 

Glorfindel allowed Erestor some privacy, turning around and selecting a green shirt and grey leggings for himself. A dark green cloak completed his outfit. Casting a glance in the mirror, he found that Erestor had slipped into the robes and was now putting on his soft, leather boots. The dark mane was in disarray and Glorfindel walked over to him, wrapping an arm around Erestor’s shoulder and steering him to the dressing table.

 

Erestor sat down in front of the mirror and let Glorfindel fuss over his hair like the Elda had done during the night.

 

Satisfied, Glorfindel leaned in closer, rested his chin on Erestor’s shoulder, and smiled. “You are beautiful, melamin. Are you ready to have breakfast?”

 

Erestor rose from the chair and straightened out his robes. Looking at his reflection in the mirror, he blinked. Who was that Elf staring back at him? Was that really him? “I barely recognize myself.”

 

Noticing the puzzlement in Erestor’s eyes, Glorfindel simply smiled. “You will continue to amaze yourself, nîn amdir.” Grabbing Erestor’s hand, he pulled his lover along. It was time to eat breakfast.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond shifted uncomfortably on his chair and glared at Thranduil. “Don’t you dare apologize again!” Once Thranduil had realized he had left the half-Elf sore, Elrond had tried to stop him from apologizing over and over again. “I wanted it that way. It was not your fault.”

 

Thranduil sighed, resigned, and gave in. “At least eat, then.” He pointed at the delicious fruits, omelets and freshly baked bread the maid had just placed on the breakfast table. “Would you like me to pour you some tea?” That way Elrond wouldn’t have to get up and walk over to the buffet.

 

Elrond nodded once. How could he convince Thranduil to not feel guilty? “I would love some,” he said in the end, seeing the Sinda’s hopeful expression. “And add some honey.”

 

Thranduil quickly got to his feet, poured the tea, added the honey, and then placed the cup in front of the half-Elf. Their eyes locked and unable to hold back, he leaned in closer, claiming Elrond’s lips and hungrily explored his lover’s mouth again. He felt like he couldn’t get enough of dark-haired half-Elf.

 

Glorfindel cleared his throat, trying to discretely announce their arrival. Glancing at Erestor, he was pleased to see a grin on his lover’s face. “Elrond, Thranduil,” he started, walking toward the table, “I hope you do not mind our company?”

 

Elrond grinned, hearing Thranduil sigh, exasperated. “Sit down, nîn glaur.” After studying Glorfindel’s eyes, his gaze traveled to Erestor and he gasped, surprised at the Elf’s changed appearance. “Those robes look good on you,” he said, complimenting Erestor, “They never looked that good on Glorfindel.”

 

Glorfindel snickered, sitting down next to Thranduil. “Elrond, mellon-nîn, I would feel jealous if I did not know your heart belonged to Thranduil.”

 

Now it was Elrond’s turn to mutter softly. He briefly glared at his seneschal, but then his expression changed into a smile when he looked at Erestor. “You never wore your hair like that before. It suits you.”

 

Erestor, feeling nervous now that all attention was focused on him, cleared his throat and looked to Glorfindel for help.

 

“It is the truth,” said Glorfindel, shrugging his shoulders. “You are beautiful, lirimaer.”

 

Erestor lowered his eyes and stared at his hands, resting in his lap. Nervous, he wondered why they were saying these things. He wasn’t beautiful.

 

Thranduil realized that the teasing, however well it was meant, was getting to Erestor and silenced Elrond and Glorfindel by raising a hand. “That is enough.” Everyone heard Erestor’s relieved sigh and Thranduil frowned. Addressing his former protégé, he said, “I always looked upon you as a son, Erestor, and now, in the absence of your parents, I need to ask you a question.”

 

Erestor trembled; he knew Thranduil well enough to know what that question was.

 

Glorfindel, growing worried at finding Erestor averting his eyes, glared at Thranduil. Suddenly Erestor’s hand covered his, squeezing it tightly. The dark eyes beseeched him to remain quiet and to not interfere. He decided to wait and see what Thranduil wanted to know, but he wouldn’t stand by idly in case the question caused his lover emotional pain.

 

“Glorfindel has clearly stated his claim, but what I want to know is if you love him as well. Do you really want him as your mate?” Thranduil searched very familiar eyes; he had learned a long time ago to recognize any deception in them. Eridhren had ordered Erestor to lie, but the young Elf had been a terrible liar and he suspected that that hadn’t changed. Erestor’s face would always be an open book to him. “Do you love him? Do you really want to be with him?”

 

Glorfindel held his breath, staring at the dark-haired counselor. What would Erestor say? But then his lover squeezed his hand, raised it, and pressed a kiss on his knuckles.

 

“Aye, sire, I love Glorfindel. I love him with all my heart and I want to be with him for the rest of my life. He has shown me life is worth living.” Erestor saw the pride in Glorfindel’s eyes and hesitantly leaned in closer, claiming the Elda’s lips. Embarrassed at hearing Thranduil and Elrond sigh, he quickly pulled back, shooting Glorfindel an apologetic look.

 

Glorfindel had never been happier in his entire life. Erestor had taken the initiative and had kissed him in front of their friends! “I love you!” he exclaimed loudly, bringing Erestor’s hand to his chest and resting it close to his heart.

 

Thranduil and Elrond exchanged a pleased look. All Erestor needed was time, and Glorfindel was patient enough to take things slowly.

 

Unable to deal with the attention aimed at him any longer, Erestor looked at Elrond and asked, “Where are the twins this morning?”

 

Elrond frowned; Erestor was right. The twins should be here. Where could they possibly be?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Elladan, can you not do this alone? Why do you need me to be there as well?” Elrohir cringed when they reached the door to Legolas’ guest quarters. This was the last place that he wanted to be. Not even Elladan’s company had kept his thoughts chaste last night. When he had finally fallen asleep after tossing and turning for hours, he had dreamt of Legolas, feeling the blond’s lips pressed against his.

 

His crush was making it hard for him to think logically and he turned, trying to sneak out of the corridor. But then Elladan grabbed him by the collar, pulling him back.

 

”Where do you think you are going?” Elladan wasn’t sure if he should pity or envy his brother for having these feelings. He had never been in love before and wondered about his brother’s behavior. “We will merely escort him to the dining room and then we will leave, joining today’s patrols. By the time we get back he will have left Imladris again.” He had hoped his words would reassure Elrohir, but instead his younger brother’s features contorted.

 

“Left?” Elrohir didn’t want Legolas to leave!

 

Elladan sighed, and then knocked on the door. “Legolas? It is Elladan. We are here to escort you to your father.” Looking at Elrohir, he added, “And you are staying, brother.”

 

Elrohir nervously shuffled his feet, trying to regain his outer calm. He couldn’t let Legolas see how confused he felt!

 

The door opened and Legolas stepped into the corridor. Did the Imladris Elves always get up this late? He had been awake for hours! “Please lead on. I do not want to keep my father waiting.”

 

Elrohir briefly swayed on his feet and was grateful when Elladan reached out to steady him. Pulling himself together, he drew in a deep breath, trying to appear calm. “Will you stay for a longer period of time or do you plan to leave shortly?”

 

“That depends on my father,” said Legolas, wondering about the blush that had settled on Elrohir’s face. The half-Elf was nervous and his eyes darted wildly in their sockets. Elladan however, was calm and controlled. He followed the twins down the endless corridors and halted when the half-Elves did. Elladan opened the door and signaled for him to follow.

 

Legolas stepped into the dining room and located his father at once. “Ada…”

 

Thranduil, surprised to see his youngest son, rose from the chair, left the table and walked toward Legolas. “What are you doing here, ion-nîn?” He wrapped his arms around his son and hugged him tightly, whilst whispering, “Are you well? Did something happen to Valthoron?” His first worry would always be for his sons.

 

Legolas returned the hug, whispering, “All is well at home. I am here because Celeborn asked me to deliver a message.” Pulling back, he smiled warmly at his father. “You look well, Ada.”

 

Thranduil felt relieved; this morning he had actually made an effort to conceal the still-healing bite mark. He would have hated for Legolas to find out about his new lover in that way. But he would have to tell Legolas about Elrond shortly; his son was intelligent enough to figure things out -- and then there was Elladan, who, he recalled, didn’t mind blurting out the truth. Locking eyes with Elladan, he mutely asked the half-Elf to remain quiet and was relieved when Elladan seemed to understand, nodding once.

 

Elrond rose from his chair, and welcomed his guest. He had been stunned to see just how much Legolas resembled Thranduil. His lover had been right when he had said that his youngest had taken after him. “Welcome to Imladris, Legolas. I am honored to finally meet you. Your father speaks highly of you.”

 

Legolas’ eyes narrowed with suspicion. The last time he had talked to his father he hadn’t received the impression that his father and the half-Elf were friends and now Elrond was honored to meet him? Strange. But his father had taught him well, and he said, “Your sons have already welcomed me to Imladris last night, Master Elrond. And I am honored that you now welcome me personally.”

 

“You arrived last night?” Thranduil frowned and then sought out Elladan’s gaze. “Why was I not told?”

 

“We thought you might like to rest after attending Eridhren’s funeral,” explained Elladan in a nervous tone.

 

“His funeral?” Legolas locked gazes with his father. “Ada, it seems we need to talk.”

 

“Aye, Elrond, would you excuse me? I need to inform my son.” Thranduil waited for Elrond to nod and then folded an arm around his son’s shoulder, leading him into the corridor and then into the gardens.

 

“Ada, what is going on here? Since when are you and Elrond on friendly terms?” He would never forgive the Peredhel for hurting his father’s feelings in the past. Elrond had seemed kind, but he wasn’t fooled by the mellow exterior.

 

“There is a lot you do not know…” Thranduil sighed, wondering how to tell Legolas that Elrond and he were lovers once more. “Let us sit down.” He steered his son toward a bench. “First tell me why you are here.”

 

“Celeborn asks if you would consider joining forces with him. Orcs were sighted near his borders and he is growing worried.”

 

Thranduil nodded once. “There is already a messenger on his way to ask Celeborn the same thing. Mirkwood is now allied with Imladris and we would be even stronger if Lothlorien joined in as well.”

 

“Celeborn will be pleased to hear that.” Now that the formal matter had been discussed, he searched his father’s eyes and found Thranduil averting them when his look became too probing. “What are you hiding from me? I cannot remember you ever avoiding my gaze before. Ada? Is something wrong? Are you well?” Worried, he took hold of his father’s hand, squeezing it.

 

“Legolas, there is something you should know, but I am afraid of your reaction.” Thranduil stole a glance at his son. Legolas was wise for his years and so strong. His youngest had always given him joy and unconditional support. He had to believe Legolas would accept this as well. “Elrond and I talked.” He sensed Legolas tense up next to him and cringed.

 

“Ada, he hurt you so badly in the past. Do not let him hurt you again.” Legolas rubbed his father’s knuckles. “I cannot bear to see you suffer.”

 

“Aiya, Legolas…” His nervousness increased. “I took him back as my lover.” He flinched, waiting for his son’s reaction. When Legolas remained silent, he looked up, locking gazes with him. “Please say something.”

 

Legolas probed his father’s eyes, finding hope, and fear of rejection. He couldn’t say he was completely surprised; he had always known that his father had continued to feel attracted to Elrond. “Are you sure, Ada? Are you sure he won’t desert and hurt you again? You spent so many millennia mourning that love. Do you really think Elrond is sincere?”

 

Thranduil nodded; he understood that Legolas was worried. “I think he is sincere. No, I –know- he is sincere!” Thranduil clasped his son’s hand in his. “Elrond finally realized what he lost when he chose Gil-galad over me. I know he won’t make the same mistake twice. Please give him a chance to prove himself. For my sake?”

 

Legolas sighed deeply, still maintaining eye contact. “You never stopped loving him.”

 

Thranduil felt relieved now that Legolas seemed to understand. “You are right. I still love him.”

 

Legolas straightened his shoulders and stared determinedly at his father. “If Elrond hurts you, he will answer to me!”

 

Thranduil smiled nervously at seeing the fierce expression in his son’s eyes. He knew Legolas well enough to know his son was serious. “Do not hurt him, Legolas, for he is dear to me.”

 

“I will try to get along with Elrond… and his sons… because you love him.” Legolas cleared his throat, feeling rather emotional. “But if he hurts you…”

 

Thranduil smiled, proudly. “Then you will avenge my honor, pen-neth?”

 

“Of course I will!” Legolas meant every word he had said. Returning his father’s smile, he added, “Do you want me to stay or to return to Mirkwood?”

 

“Would you stay, Legolas? We rarely see each other these days.” Thranduil smiled at his son. “And I would like you to befriend Elladan and Elrohir.”

 

Legolas groaned; he should have seen that one coming. “I will try.” The twins seemed nice enough. “And what will you do?”

 

“I will stay for another month and then I will return to Mirkwood.” He paused, feeling nervous. “Elrond said he would stay with me in Mirkwood for one year and then we could return to Imladris and reside here for a year.”

 

“That sounds reasonable,” agreed Legolas, and then changed their topic. “And what happened to Eridhren?”

 

Thranduil nodded once and then took the time to update his son.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond sensed something was wrong with Elrohir, and continued to study his youngest son, who looked pale. When Thranduil and Legolas returned, Elrohir almost seemed to panic.

Erestor, seated next to Elrohir, had also noticed that something was wrong and now slowly rested his hand on the younger half-Elf’s, hoping the touch would reassure him.

 

Glorfindel was pleased to see Erestor reach out to Elrohir and hoped it was a new beginning. Erestor had locked his feelings away for so long.

 

“Is something wrong, Elrohir?” Erestor followed the direction of Elrohir’s stare and found it was directed at Legolas. Elrohir quickly looked away, but that glance told the experienced counselor all he needed to know. So Elrohir felt attracted to Legolas? How would Elrond and Thranduil react when learning this? However, he didn’t plan on enlightening the two Elf-Lords... Yet.

 

“I do not feel well…” whispered Elrohir, hoping his twin would come to the rescue, but Elladan merely smiled at him.

 

Thranduil and Legolas seated themselves at the table and the elder Elf looked at Elrond, wondering if something had happened during his short absence.

 

Elrond couldn’t help being concerned, recalling that it was his sons’ turn to join the border patrols - and if Elrohir wasn’t feeling well, he was inclined to make him stay. Suddenly the perfect solution came to him. “Elladan, you can lead the patrols today. And Elrohir? Would you stay and show Imladris to Legolas?” Elrond completely missed the look of panic in Elrohir’s eyes as his gaze shifted to Legolas. “I assume you will stay for a short while?”

 

Legolas nodded once. He had promised his father to stay and to befriend Elrond’s sons.

 

Elrohir sought out his brother’s gaze and shot him a trapped look. They had to trade places! There was no other way! Just being close to Legolas caused him to stop thinking logically. /Elladan, you have to switch places with me! You must!/

 

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 21

 

 

“Elrohir, I trust you to take good care of Legolas. Show him around and make sure he feels welcome,” said Elrond, who had completely missed his son’s bewilderment. “Now that Legolas has decided to stay he should feel at home here.”

 

Mortified, Elrohir averted his gaze and stared at the floor. Why wasn’t his father noticing his discomfort? Maybe because Elrond was already smiling at Thranduil and had mentally dismissed him? His gaze traveled to Elladan, pleading with his twin to have mercy on him, but when his brother shook his head, he knew he had to somehow survive the afternoon without utterly embarrassing himself.

 

“You will be fine,” whispered Elladan, squeezing his brother’s shoulder for moral support. Then he turned and left to join the border patrol.

 

Realizing that Legolas was expectantly looking at him, he cleared his throat. “Please follow me.” Finding that his voice was shaking with emotion made him tremble. Legolas was probably wondering if Elrond’s youngest son was a simpleton for acting in this way.

 

But Legolas managed a weak smile. After pondering Elrohir’s reactions, he realized the younger twin probably felt nervous, like he did. “Lead on, Peredhel.”

 

Shivers traveled down Elrohir’s spine, hearing Legolas’ soft, melodic tone. He guided Legolas back inside and gave him a tour of the Last Homely House. Legolas’ alert expression told him the Elf was trying to memorize as much as possible. “These are my rooms, which I share with Elladan."

 

“You share a room with your brother?” At first Legolas wondered about that, but then realized that being twins probably provided the two half-Elves with a very tight bond.

 

“It has always been that way,” said Elrohir, shrugging his shoulders. “We are twins.”

 

Legolas smiled warmly. Hearing Elrohir put it like that made him realize it was that simple to them; they were twins. They shared each other’s lives. “Show me the rest of Imladris,” said Legolas, already falling in love with the light and warmth the place radiated. He could tell Elrond had taken great care when building this safe haven. “This truly is a beautiful and peaceful place. You must greatly enjoy living here.”

 

Elrohir was eager to keep the conversation going, as he was afraid a silence would be awkward between them. “What is life like in Mirkwood?”

 

“Dangerous,” said Legolas in a firm tone. “The wood is full of predators.”

 

“Ada told me that you live underground? In caves?” Elrohir shivered momentarily. “I cannot imagine what that is like.”

 

Legolas chose his words carefully. “You were misinformed. We live in talans, high up in the trees. The caves come in handy occasionally, but we do not live in them.”

 

Elrohir stopped in his tracks and sought out those heavenly blue orbs, which radiated life and passion. He easily lost himself in their expression and he quickly averted his eyes, afraid to give himself away. This was folly. Why had Elladan refused to help him out by taking his place? When exactly had he lost his heart to Legolas? And how could he ever hope to reclaim it?

 

Legolas located a bench beneath an old oak tree and sat down. Elrohir, unable to do anything else, followed suit and seated himself as well, but at an appropriate distance from the blond. He didn’t want Legolas to grow suspicious and realize he had feelings for him.

 

Legolas studied the half-Elf. Elrond, Elladan and Elrohir were so different from the way he had imagined them. They were smart, compassionate, caring and not to forget extremely handsome. Aye, he understood why his father had fallen for Elrond. Looking at Elrohir, he saw a rare beauty, and a warm light shining from within. Clearing his throat, he asked, “And what do you think about my father and yours binding themselves in such a way?”

 

Elrohir swallowed nervously. “I like Thranduil. I never thought I would, but I do. Maybe it is because he feels so protective of Erestor… and I always loved Erestor. He has a good heart.”

 

Legolas nodded. “I know about Eridhren’s perversions. My father always made sure that my brother and I never stayed in the same place as he was.” But Elrohir hadn’t really answered his question yet. “Do you approve of their relationship?”

 

Elrohir answered honestly. “My mother left for Valinor many years ago and my father always seemed so sad after that. Thranduil has rendered that. When I now look at my father his eyes are alive again. So aye, I approve. I want him to be happy.”

 

“Your mother sailed for the Undying Lands as well?”

 

Legolas’ soft tone, which nearly bordered on anguished, made him seek out those impossibly blue orbs again. “After a pack of Orcs attacked her she was suffering in mind and body. She had started to fade, and letting her sail for Valinor was the only way to keep her alive.” Elrohir wondered what it was about Legolas that made him want to open up to the blond. “I still miss her. I know she loves me, but I wish she were still here with me.”

 

Legolas closed his eyes momentarily. They had more in common than he had thought. “My mother sailed for the Undying Lands one day after I reached my majority. I miss her too.”

 

Their gazes met and they smiled, saddened, at each other. Legolas wondered about the Peredhel. When he had come here he had been determined not to like the half-Elves, but he couldn’t help liking Elrohir. “Will you show me the rest of Imladris as well?”

 

“Of course,” said Elrohir, smiling. “This way.”

 

Legolas followed, curious to find out more about Imladris and its inhabitants.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“What would you like to do today?” asked Glorfindel. They had in walked the beautiful gardens and had enjoyed the rich fragrances of the blossoming trees and flowers. The hesitant glance that Erestor directed at him made him raise an eyebrow inquisitively. Erestor seemed painfully shy, and yet passion showed in those dark orbs as well.

 

“I…” Erestor’s voice first faltered, but then he tried again. “I want to go to your rooms and…” He nearly gave up on voicing his needs and desires, but Glorfindel’s warm and encouraging gaze made him continue. “I would like to… touch you.”

 

The last two words were barely audible and Glorfindel had to strain to hear them. His heart thundered with joy. He raised Erestor’s hand, which he had been holding during their stroll and brought it to his lips, placing a tender kiss on the knuckles. “I greatly desire to be touched by you.”

 

Erestor nervously cleared his throat. “You do not think me… forward?” His eyes darted in their sockets uncertainly. Seeing Glorfindel shake his head, he added, “It is just I… I have never felt this comfortable with anyone before and… I want to deepen our relationship. I just do not know how.”

 

They had reached a bench and Glorfindel pulled Erestor into place beside him when he seated himself. It would be best to discuss this now before they took things further in the bedroom. “I think you do know how.”

 

Erestor nodded, letting some strands fall in front of his face. Most of the plaits however, kept his dark tresses in place and he sighed dejectedly, realizing he couldn’t hide behind this black curtain any longer. “I would like to… to touch you. To return the pleasure you gave me.” In the end, he shyly raised his gaze and looked at Glorfindel from behind long eyelashes. “But I do not want to pressure you.”

 

Glorfindel brushed silk strands behind Erestor’s ears and waited for the dark-haired Elf to meet his gaze. “I trust you, nîn amdir. I –know- you could never hurt me and you would –never- pressure me, because you –are- this hesitant and shy.” He hoped he had emphasized the right words in order to calm Erestor’s nerves. “I really crave your touch, the caresses you can bestow on me. I hope that one day we will be able to make love.”

 

Erestor closed his eyes momentarily, trying to force back his tears. “To make love…” his voice faded into nothingness. “I would like that.”

 

“Open your eyes and look at me, melamin?” Glorfindel’s heart ached at seeing the swimming dark orbs. “Give yourself the time you need and take small steps.”

 

Erestor smiled warmly and tentatively touched a finger to the blond’s lips. “I love you so much for being patient with me.”

 

“Patient?” Glorfindel sighed, dejectedly. “After learning what your father did to you I am honored that you can still bear my touch. Whatever you can give me is more than enough.”

 

Erestor was beginning to feel depressed now that their conversation had taken such a turn and he reached for Glorfindel’s hands, burying them in his. “Can we go to your rooms now? I think I am ready to take one of those small steps.” The way Glorfindel’s azure eyes lit up made his heart beat faster. “But… I want you to promise me something.”

 

“What?” Glorfindel would promise Erestor anything he wanted. Rubbing his lover’s fingers between his, his breath caught, seeing the passion hidden beneath Erestor’s shy surface. What kind of lover would the dark-haired Elf be once he had shed his fears?

 

“I want you to tell me to stop when I do something that makes you uncomfortable. Please,” he added, seeing Glorfindel’s expression, “This is important to me. My father never gave me any choice, but I want you to know that…” Suddenly the tears welled up and flowed down his face. “That you -do- have a choice.”

 

“I understand,” whispered Glorfindel compassionately. Enveloping Erestor in a warm hug, he encouraged the dark-haired Elf to rest his head on his shoulder. He simply held on tightly. “I love you, nîn amdir. I love you.” He repeated his admission countless times until Erestor relaxed against him, pressing closer toward him.

 

Erestor drew in a deep breath, knowing what he had to do, what he –wanted- to do. Slowly, he freed himself of his lover’s embrace and rose from the bench. Glorfindel’s hands were still in his and he pulled the Elda to his feet. “Will you come with me and trust yourself to me?” He didn’t know where he found the courage to take the lead, but Glorfindel’s warm expression assured him that the blond wanted to take this step as well.

 

Glorfindel cradled Erestor’s hands fondly in his and followed his dark-haired lover to his rooms, smiling blissfully.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor nervously coughed, closing the door behind him. They were back in the blond’s rooms and he wavered momentarily, his gaze drawn toward the bed.

 

“Lirimaer?” Glorfindel moved closer to Erestor, searching his gaze. “Are you having second thoughts? We do not have to do this right now.”

 

“I –want- to do this. I –need- to do this!” Erestor pleadingly locked gazes with the Elda. “I want to show you how much I love you.”

 

“Melamin, I already know how much you love me.”

 

Erestor nervously shuffled his feet. Lowering his eyes, he asked, “Will you remember your promise?”

 

“Aye, I will.” But he doubted Erestor could do anything that would make him uncomfortable. /Except if he does something that makes *him* uncomfortable. Then I will stop him./ “What do you want to do?”

 

Erestor swallowed hard, trying to rid himself of the lump that had formed in his throat. Still holding Glorfindel’s hand, he stared at the floor whilst leading the blond to the bed. “I… I do not know how far I can take this.” He bit his bottom lip and finally found the courage to look at his lover. “Maybe this is not fair to you and we should stop.”

 

Glorfindel’s heart missed a beat. He placed a finger under Erestor’s chin and smiled encouragingly. “I am your willing subject, melamin. Do whatever you want with me.”

 

Erestor, taking heart at hearing his lover’s words, nodded. Raising a hand, he rested it at the nape of the blond’s neck, letting the golden strands tease his fingertips. “You are so beautiful, Glorfindel, like Arien herself.” Seeing the Elda smile, he leaned in closer, very slowly, and touched his lips to Glorfindel’s. The delighted moan that fled from the blond’s lips hummed through his body and traveled to his groin. “You have no idea how much you mean to me or how much I love you.”

 

Glorfindel’s eyes darkened to midnight blue, hearing his lover’s words. He had expected many things, but not Erestor verbally making love to him. At least, that was what it felt like now that his lover was weaving this seductive web of words around him.

 

“I love you too.” He whispered the words against Erestor’s lips. The dark-haired Elf wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer. Delighted at Erestor’s move, he eased into his lover’s embrace and happily parted first his lips and then his teeth when Erestor’s tongue demanded entry.

 

Glorfindel’s knees buckled under the sensual caresses. His gaze was still locked with Erestor’s and he could tell the other needed the eye contact. Sighing blissfully, he allowed Erestor’s tongue to chase his and eagerly awarded victory to his lover when the Elf’s tongue intertwined with his. Slowly Erestor retreated, leaving him breathless. “You taste so sweet,” he panted softly, wondering about the raven-haired beauty in his arms. He had the feeling he was in for a few surprises.

 

Erestor closely monitored his lover’s reactions. Glorfindel seemed to enjoy the kiss and he felt encouraged now that the blond’s eyes had darkened with passion. Placing his hands on his lover’s chest, he gently pushed him down, until Glorfindel was sitting on the bed. Suddenly his nervousness returned; what was he supposed to do now?

 

Glorfindel saw the return of his lover’s uncertainty and lay back, staring dreamily at Erestor. Reaching out, he took hold of the raven-haired Elf’s hands and pulled him on top of him. And that was all he planned to do. Now it was up to Erestor to decide where he wanted to take this.

 

Looking at his flaxen-haired lover, Erestor carefully straddled his hips. He hadn’t expected this to be easy, but they were both aroused, and panting with need. After placing his hands on either side of Glorfindel’s head, he dotingly looked down at his lover, whose pupils had dilated with need. Elbereth help him, but he felt the same way. What had he done? Suddenly he panicked. Could he finish what he had started? He nearly jumped off the bed, fleeing the room, but then the palms of Glorfindel’s hands rested against his cheeks, wiping away the tears that he hadn’t realized were flowing again.

 

“You are doing so well, lirimaer. Please do not stop now.” Glorfindel hoped it was what Erestor needed to hear. He was incredibly pleased that his lover felt confident enough to take this step. “I want you to touch me in whatever way you desire.”

 

Erestor had devoured Glorfindel’s words and he nodded once. “I want this too.” Bending down, he claimed the blond’s lips again. He constantly maintained eye contact, knowing that when he closed his eyes, his father’s face might appear to taunt him. Glorfindel answered the kiss with an eagerness that made his passion blaze anew. Slowly, he lowered himself until he blanketed the blond, always looking for signs of discomfort in those heavenly blue eyes. “Am I not crushing you?”

 

“You hardly weigh a thing,” whispered Glorfindel, feeling hypnotized as he looked into those passion-clouded orbs.

 

Feeling uncertain, Erestor carefully rubbed his erection against Glorfindel’s, and even through the fabric he moaned at the exquisite sensation it caused. Groaning, he tried to lose himself in the sparkling, sapphire eyes.

 

Glorfindel involuntarily held his breath, wondering if Erestor knew how seductive he looked, rubbing himself like that. He was tempted to remove Erestor’s clothes so he could finally worship his lover’s body as he was supposed to, but he stopped himself, knowing Erestor needed to be in control.

 

Fortunately Erestor’s passion-driven mind had the same idea. “May I undress you?”

 

Glorfindel groaned, and nodded approvingly. “Please.” Looking up at Erestor, he threw back his head, exposing his throat to his lover, hoping the dark-haired Elf would indulge him.

 

Erestor briefly felt confused, but then lowered his lips onto the smooth skin, lapping and then softly biting. Glorfindel released a series of needy groans and Erestor looked at the blond in sheer amazement. He had never expected Glorfindel to surrender this quickly, this willingly. “What do you want?”

 

“Whatever you can give, lirimaer ...” managed Glorfindel through his lust-induced haze. “Just touch me…”

 

With shaky fingers Erestor unbuttoned Glorfindel’s shirt, slowly sliding it down the bronze skin. He marveled at the smooth skin and lovingly ran his fingertips over the willing flesh.

 

Glorfindel arched his hips, wantonly, begging his lover to increase their bodily contact. Panting with desire, he quavered at the delicate touch, feeling Erestor’s fingertips slide down his skin. “More, please…”

 

Erestor, once more biting his bottom lip, removed Glorfindel’s shirt and stared at the hairless chest. Running his fingers down the blond’s chest, he encountered a hardened nipple. Just touching it seemed to catapult Glorfindel off the bed. His lover panted, pleadingly looking into his eyes. Experimentally, he rubbed the nub of hard flesh between his fingertips and then squeezed cautiously.

 

Glorfindel wasn’t sure how much more of this torture he could take. His erection strained against his leggings and he was afraid he would come right there and then. It took every ounce of his self-discipline to not rub himself against Erestor in order to find release.

 

Erestor stared at his lover in wonder. “Do you like this?”

 

“I crave it!”

 

Erestor briefly wondered if this would spin out of control, but this was Glorfindel and the blond would never, ever hurt him! Reassured, his hands reached for the Elda’s waistband. Leaning in closer, he bestowed a shower of feather light kisses on his lover’s smooth chest.

 

Just when Glorfindel thought he couldn’t possible be more aroused, a slick tongue encircled one of his nipples and then eager lips suckled gently. “Aiya, Erestor!”

 

At once, Erestor pulled back; scared he had done something wrong. “Forgive me, I thought…”

 

Realizing Erestor had taken his passionate cry the wrong way, Glorfindel buried his hands in the black hair, gently pulling his lover closer to him. “Don’t stop, Erestor, just don’t.”

 

Reassured, Erestor let his tongue dash out and lap at the other, formerly neglected nipple. Glorfindel arched his back and seemed to thrust against him and only then did he realize that he was driving the Elda mad with desire. “Do you wish to come?”

 

Glorfindel’s eyes widened at that. Long past thinking rationally, he nodded. “Please…”

 

Erestor hooked his fingers behind the waistband and slowly removed the Elda’s leggings. “Raise your hips,” he commanded softly. His heartbeat quickened when Glorfindel obeyed eagerly. He dropped the green leggings onto the floor and took in his lover’s naked body. “Beautiful,” he whispered, adoringly.

 

A smile surfaced on Glorfindel’s face, hearing the compliment. He almost suggested that Erestor removed his robes as well, but in the end, he didn’t voice that thought. He wanted Erestor to act freely.

 

“May I t-touch… you?” stuttered Erestor nervously. His hand hovered above the blond’s erection, but he didn’t touch the hard flesh yet. He wanted permission first.

 

“Please…” Glorfindel suddenly realized just how many times he had said that word during these last few minutes. Erestor already had him begging for more! “Please, melamin, place your hands on me!”

 

Erestor rested one hand against Glorfindel’s abdomen. Making eye contact again, he cautiously wrapped the fingers of his other hand around the blond’s erection, feeling shy when he found the hard flesh slippery and eagerly responding to his touch.

 

Glorfindel helplessly raised his hips, trying to create more friction so he could finally reach orgasm. Looking into Erestor’s eyes, the obvious wonder in them took him aback. “What are you thinking?”

 

Glorfindel’s question surprised Erestor, who licked his lips.

 

Glorfindel groaned pitifully, seeing his lover’s tongue moisten his bruised lips. Never before had he found that sight so seductive.

 

“I am thinking how much you must love me to entrust yourself to me in this manner.” Erestor tightly curled his fingers around the eager flesh and stroked slowly, almost teasingly.

 

Bucking hard, Glorfindel stared at his lover. He needed more, needed to feel Erestor close. “Kiss me?”

 

Erestor, trying hard to maintain the rhythm he was stroking his lover in, leaned in closer and kissed the blond hard. Suddenly his hand slipped away from the slick shaft and he cursed softly, almost apologizing for his nervousness.

 

“Don’t…” panted Glorfindel, seeing a pained expression slip into his lover’s eyes. “I love you…” He rested one hand at the nape of Erestor’s neck and kissed him passionately.

 

Erestor folded his fingers once more around the hot flesh and resumed stroking, wanting his lover to reach orgasm. Glorfindel took him by surprise by folding his arms around him, crushing him close to him and rhythmically thrusting into his hand. Mesmerized, he stared into large, blue eyes and then he felt the blond tense against him. Warm cream spurted onto his hand, whilst Glorfindel clung to him.

 

Glorfindel couldn’t remember ever coming this hard before. Looking into Erestor’s eyes, he smiled, still panting. “Oh, lirimaer…”

 

Releasing the now sated flesh, Erestor lay down next to the blond. He wasn’t sure how to react when Glorfindel snuggled up to him. Acting instinctively, he wrapped his arms around the Elda, holding him close. His heart thundered madly in his chest at the realization that he had brought his lover to orgasm. “D-did you l-like it?”

 

Glorfindel raised eyes, filled with disbelief, at his lover. “Lirimaer,” he started, still panting, “I cannot remember ever coming like that before. Does that answer your question?” He couldn’t believe that Erestor still doubted himself. “I love you.” He would never tire of saying it, knowing Erestor needed to hear it over and over again. “I love you, Erestor.”

 

Erestor blushed. “I take it… you liked it then?”

 

“Oh, I did!” Now that the ecstasy had faded and no longer hindered his thinking, he adoringly looked into his lover’s dark eyes. “There is no reason to doubt yourself, melamin.” Calming down, he returned the embrace, ignoring the fact that he should be cleaning himself up. Holding Erestor and reassuring him was more important. “I must admit that you surprised me. I never expected you to take this step, at least not this soon.”

 

Erestor shrugged and averted his eyes. “What I really want is… is to m-make love with you,” he stuttered, nervously.

 

Glorfindel sighed, tiredly. He waited until Erestor looked at him and then said, “But we made love just now. There is more to making love than penetration.”

 

Flinching, Erestor tried to look away, but Glorfindel rested his palm against his face, making sure the eye contact remained. “You already came such a long way, nîn amdir. Don’t push yourself to take a step when you are not ready for it.”

 

Erestor managed a weak smile. /You are so good for me, so patient. I do not deserve you./

 

Glorfindel frowned, as if catching an echo of that thought. Realizing he needed to distract the brooding Elf, he said, “And why are you still clothed when I am naked?”

 

Now Erestor’s smile turned genuine. “I like it when you are naked.”

 

Glorfindel briefly entertained the thought of offering to bring his lover to orgasm as well, but he could tell Erestor’s arousal had faded; it no longer pressed against his stomach. “Will you join me for a bath then?” His fingers moved through the tangled strands of raven hair, slowly undoing the braids and removing the circlet. “That cannot have been comfortable when you were asleep,” he remarked, running his fingers through the now loose hair.

 

“I did not mind,” whispered Erestor, his eyes shining with love. “I hardly felt any discomfort. It means a lot to me that you want me to wear it… even in public.”

 

Hearing that nearly brought tears to Glorfindel’s eyes. “I will braid your hair if you do mine.”

 

Erestor’s smile was filled with love and pride, looking at his lover. As words eluded him, he just leaned in closer and placed a passionate kiss on the blond’s luscious lips.

 

“I take it that is a yes then?” teased Glorfindel, feeling delighted when the dark-haired Elf playfully poked him in his side. “Ah, definitely a yes!”

 

Erestor smiled at him with swimming eyes. “You are my life, Glorfindel. I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”

 

“Is that a proposal?” Glorfindel’s smile remained, but something else appeared in his eyes. “Would you bind yourself to me by taking the vows?”

 

Erestor suddenly realized that the time for teasing had passed. This was serious. “I would… gladly.”

 

Glorfindel brushed an elusive lock behind Erestor’s pointed ears. “You would be mine for the rest of our lives?”

 

“Is that a proposal?” asked Erestor, breathlessly staring at the blond.

”Aye, it is… Will you give me an answer or make me wait?” Oh, Erestor’s eyes had already given him his answer, but he wanted to hear his lover say the words.

 

“Aye, I want to be yours for the rest of my life, Glorfindel.” Unable to stay in control of his raging emotions any longer, Erestor flung himself at the blond, holding on tight.

 

Smiling, Glorfindel placed a kiss on Erestor’s hair. “Then I will be yours… forever.”

 

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 22

 

 

Thranduil watched Elrond closely when the half-Elf sighed. The Lord of Imladris sat slightly slumped forward behind his desk in the study. For one moment it looked like all of Arda rested on the half-Elf’s trembling shoulders. Aye, he reckoned it would feel like that to Elrond at times.

 

Elrond rubbed his brow, and then set to massaging his temples. He felt tired and weary. These last few weeks had been more taxing that he had shown them to be, and he longed for some peace. If he had been able to, he would have sneaked into his bed to lose himself in sleep for the next few hours. But there were reports to read, letters to reply to; a never-ending flow of correspondence continued to come his way. Why wasn’t he ever allowed to fully unwind and rest? Because, obviously, he was the Ruler of Imladris, and so much depended on him.

 

Elrond tensed slightly, almost having forgotten about Thranduil’s presence. But then his lover placed his hands on his shoulders, massaging the tense muscles. He bowed forwards and sighed, contented. Thranduil had always had magical hands when it came down to massages.

 

The groan that left Elrond’s lips made Thranduil aware of how exhausted the half-Elf really was. “You should rest.”

 

“I cannot do that. There are so many letters… Reports…” Elrond’s voice faltered when Thranduil’s talented fingers worked on a sore spot just above his shoulder blade.

 

Thranduil frowned, recalling something Elrond had admitted to him earlier; that the half-Elf liked him to take control. Now he was severely tempted to that just that… and he did.

 

Elrond moaned disappointedly when Thranduil stopped the divine massage. Drawing in a deep breath, he said, “Thank you,” and reached for the next report. But then the blond’s fingers curled around his wrist and he looked up in surprise. The determined look in Thranduil’s feline’s eyes took him aback.

 

“You are going to rest, Elrond,” decreed Thranduil. “I can see how tired you are and I do not like it!”

 

Elrond smiled faintly. “I wish I could…” He gasped when Thranduil pulled him to his feet, exercising just enough force on his wrist to pull him along and out of the study. “What do you think you are doing? Where are we going?”

 

“Your rooms,” said Thranduil between clenched teeth. “And do not give me any arguments. This is –not- up for discussion!”

 

Elrond stared at the blond in sheer amazement. Was this really Thranduil? He had never acted like this before! “But…”

 

“I said no discussion.” Thranduil opened the door to Elrond’s private chambers, pulled the half-Elf inside and then closed it behind them. “You are tired and need rest.”

 

Elrond smiled, and shook his head. “What has gotten into you?”

 

“I am concerned,” said Thranduil, suddenly wavering. “And you said that… that you liked me to take control. That is what I am doing right now.” Had he made a mistake in dragging Elrond here? “I apologize if I was out of line.”

 

Staring at the blond in pleased disbelief, Elrond smiled warmly. Thranduil had really listened to him and was now trying to take charge? That was an unexpected, but welcome development! “Don’t apologize, nîn glaur. You just took me by surprise.”

 

“I understand if you want to return to your work,” offered Thranduil, shuffling his feet. He had obviously overdone it.

 

Elrond gave the blond a long, thoughtful look and then pressed the length of his body against his lover’s. “You were right; I like it when you take care of me. And now tell me, what do you want me to do?”

 

Thranduil’s eyes widened in surprise. “You want me to--?” Uncertain, he searched Elrond’s eyes.

 

“You wanted me to rest…” supplied Elrond, helpfully. “Don’t stop now.”

 

Thranduil cleared his throat, suddenly overcome by the trust he saw in the half-Elf’s blue eyes. “I want you to lie down and rest. Preferably, I want you to sleep.”

 

Elrond smiled, pleased, walking over to the bed and sitting down on it. His gaze never left Thranduil’s, wondering how far the blond was prepared to take this. He began to recline onto the bed, but caught the frown on his lover’s brow. “What is it?”

 

“Do you really want to sleep in all those clothes? That cannot be comfortable.”

 

“Do you want me to remove my robes?” Elrond was coaxing Thranduil further, hoping the blond understood that he wanted him to continue to take the lead. Thranduil’s eyes darkened with some unreadable emotion and Elrond involuntarily held his breath.

 

“Aye, I want you to remove them. I want you to rest comfortably.” Thranduil sat down in a chair, no longer trusting his legs to carry him. The expression in Elrond’s eyes was strangely predatory. He couldn’t believe he was actually going to say this! “You will remove your robes -now-.” The moment those words had left his lips he wondered if he had made a fatal mistake, seeing the ecstatic expression in the half-Elf’s eyes.

 

Elrond’s groin burst into fire and he grew erect, hearing those demanding words. Thranduil wanted him to strip? Grinning, he rose from the bed and slowly, teasingly, began to unbutton his outer robes. As they slid down his shoulders, a white linen shirt was revealed and he slowly undid the laces.

 

Thranduil practically drooled, seeing the patches of naked flesh, which were now revealed. “Remove –all- your clothes.”

 

Elrond inclined his head, stepped out of his robes and let the white shirt slide down his shoulders. When the cloth finally hit the floor, he was completely naked and painfully hard. Waiting for Thranduil to give him new instructions, he licked his lips, wishing Thranduil would continue to take the lead.

 

A throbbing heat was building between his legs and Thranduil shifted uneasily on his chair, seeing his lover’s arousal stand proud and begging for his touch. A predatory grin appeared on his face. He could grow used to being in control! Seeing the eager anticipation on Elrond’s face, he said, “Now lie down on your back.”

 

Trembling with expectation, Elrond did as he was told. His eyes never left Thranduil’s form. The golden-haired Elf now rose from his chair and advanced on him. His gaze drifted lower and he stared admiringly at the bulge in the blond’s leggings. He sighed, hoping this would lead to another round of lovemaking. His fatigue seemed to have disappeared beneath the onslaught of passion that was taking control of him.

 

Eagerness, want and lust shone from Thranduil’s green eyes, taking in his lover’s naked form. His eyes quickly scanned the room and he located the vial filled with scented oil, which they had used earlier, on the nightstand. Next, his gaze was drawn to several brown ribbons that Elrond sometimes used to braid into his hair.

 

Elrond stared at Thranduil, who now picked up those ribbons and his heartbeat quickened. What did the blond plan to do to him? His erection twitched, and he wriggled on the bed, hoping Thranduil would take pity on him. “Nîn glaur? I want you, need you. Come here…”

 

Carrying the ribbons with him, Thranduil returned to the bed, studying his lover’s display of wanton need. Elrond arched his back in mute pleading and raised his arms, urging him closer.

 

But Thranduil removed his clothes first, whilst constantly maintaining eye contact with the raven-haired Elf. His erection bobbed free from its confines and he stroked himself once, closely watching Elrond’s reaction.

 

Elrond released a strangled yelp, seeing his lover pleasure himself. He tried to sit upright, but suddenly Thranduil was all over him, eventually straddling his hips. The blond had moved quickly and was now pinning him down to the bed. To his joy, he found that the ribbons were still in his lover’s hands. Panting hard, he tried to rub his erection against Thranduil’s, begging to be touched.

 

Thranduil placed the ribbons onto the bed next to him and considered the squirming half-Elf beneath him. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

 

Elrond didn’t bother to ask Thranduil what –this- was supposed to be. “Take me… Make me yours… Ride me!” The need that burned his loins set him aflame. Raising his hands, he buried his fingers in the long, soft hair, needing the contact.

 

Slowly, Thranduil took hold of one brown ribbon, once more studying the half-Elf. “Raise your head.” His lover’s body trembled violently beneath him; Elrond’s eagerness surprising Thranduil. 

 

The half-Elf did as he was bid and tried to control his hurried breathing when Thranduil tied the ribbon in front of his eyes, taking away his sight. The blindfold was tied loose enough for him to shake it off, but he felt no desire to do so. “Oh, by the Grace of the Valar, what are you doing to me?” His erection throbbed, but the blond was blatantly ignoring the hardened flesh.

 

“Don’t speak,” whispered Thranduil, bending forward until he could claim his lover’s lips. He indulged himself and kissed the half-Elf breathless, but then his tongue drifted lower, sucking the skin beneath Elrond’s ear. Hearing his lover hiss, he grinned and moved upward to lap at a slightly pointed ear, sucking greedily at its tip.

 

Elrond bucked involuntarily under the sensual caresses. His eyes were big, but the blindfold kept him from making eye contact with his lover. “Ah, nîn glaur … I need you so badly.”

 

“Soon,” soothed Thranduil. Continuing the lapping, he left a wet trail from Elrond’s neck to his chest, where he teased first one, and then the other nipple into complete hardness. Elrond bucked again and he placed a restraining hand on the half-Elf’s hips, keeping him in place. “I never thought I would enjoy seeing you at my mercy.” His reactions kept taking him aback. He had never been the dominant one during their prior relationship, but now he found that he loved to make Elrond squirm and beg.

 

Elrond whimpered helplessly. “Ai, Thranduil… I… I… need… you…” Now that his eyesight had been taken away from him, his other senses seemed heightened and every touch, lick, caress bestowed onto his skin made him wiggle helplessly beneath the blond. It frustrated him to no end that Thranduil continued to ignore the burning need between his legs. “Nîn glaur… want… need… now… take me… oh…”

 

Thranduil smiled wickedly, taking hold of another ribbon, and then moved into a kneeling position next to the squirming half-Elf’s body.

 

No longer feeling his lover’s weight on top of him, Elrond started. “What…? Thranduil? Aiya… so hard…” Had Thranduil reconsidered and ended the game they were playing? He sighed relieved when the blond’s hands settled back onto his hips, slowly but deliberately rolling him onto his stomach. His heart fluttered with excitement and he let Thranduil manhandle him until he was flat on his stomach, rubbing his erection against the sheets.

 

His breathing stopped momentarily, feeling soft silk slip around his left wrist. And then his world began to spin, realizing Thranduil was tying him to the bed. Rubbing himself shamelessly, he tried to create more friction, but a teasing slap to his buttocks stopped him. His eyes widened behind the blindfold at feeling the slight sting that the slap left behind. His right wrist was treated to the same procedure and now his hands were tied to the bed posts, leaving him squirming helplessly. “Aiya, nîn glaur, what… are you…doing to me?”

 

Surveying his handiwork, Thranduil wondered if he wasn’t taking this too far. He knew Elrond wanted this - the half-Elf was practically begging for it - but he still worried about causing his lover unnecessary discomfort. “Are the bonds too tight?” he asked, straddling Elrond’s lower back and leaning in closer to whisper the words into the half-Elf’s right ear.

 

A slight pull told Elrond that he could easily free himself. “Nay, they are… perfect,” he panted, reassuring his lover. A part of him couldn’t believe Thranduil was acting in this manner. “Aiya… nîn glaur, I love you so much, but would you… take me now?” He squirmed beneath the blond, hoping Thranduil would finally touch him in his most private places.

 

But Thranduil was now really enjoying his dominion over the raven-haired half-Elf and used two more ribbons to tie his lover’s feet to the wooden bed posts. Looking down at the trembling form beneath him, his hands stroked the long, strong back. Amused, he realized Elrond was rubbing himself against the sheets, trying to find release. “Are you still comfortable with this?” He needed to be sure that he wasn’t acting against his lover’s will.

 

“Take… me!” whimpered Elrond, pitifully. “Take me… -hard-!”

 

But Thranduil shook his head. “Nay, I left you sore the last time we made love.” He wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. He loved Elrond too much to cause him pain, not even during their lovemaking. Running his hands over the two perfect mounds of flesh in front of him, he kneaded them until he felt Elrond relax. Lazily, he let some droplets of oil drip onto his skin, before sliding one probing finger down his lover’s cleft, gently teasing the tight opening that would shortly welcome him.

 

Elrond was moaning deliriously, wondering when and how this sweet torment would end. He had closed his eyes behind the blindfold, relishing the sensations running through him. Thranduil’s weight shifted and a moment later, a slick finger circled the entrance to his body. Groaning blissfully, he surrendered to his lover. Not knowing what would happen next excited him even further.

 

Thranduil took his time to massage the guardian ring and ease the tense muscles trying to grip him. Elrond continued to whimper, to beg him to take him, but he was determined to take his time.

 

Elrond tried to raise his hips, but the ribbons limited his movements and all he could do was beg. “Have mercy…. Oh, yes… now… want… you…” His fingers curled around the ribbons, and his nails clawed at the silk fabric when one probing finger slid into his passage. It was a perpetual motion that kept him on the brink for many long moments. Whimpering loudly, he tried to thrust back, but the ribbons stopped him. “Nîn glaur… have mercy… take me… make me come…”

 

“Soon,” repeated Thranduil, doing his best to ignore his own throbbing heat between his legs, which urged him to bury himself in the tight passage. But he controlled his desires tightly. Adding more oil, he pressed two fingers inside his lover’s body and began to stretch the half-Elf, still taking his time to properly prepare his helpless lover.

 

Elrond was no longer capable of logical thought. Rubbing his erection against the sheet didn’t provide him with enough friction and he endured the sweet, sensual torment Thranduil bestowed on him. “Now, take me! Take me!”

 

Thranduil took pity on his lover, realizing Elrond couldn’t take much more. Coating his aching shaft with oil, he parted his lover’s buttocks and positioned himself at the twitching opening.

 

“In one stroke… one… fast… hard…” panted Elrond, pleadingly, feeling the hot head of his lover’s arousal press against his opening.

 

Thranduil nodded; he would try to indulge his lover, but only if he didn’t bring Elrond any discomfort. Pushing inside, the guardian ring admitted him and he continued to slide inside, grabbing Elrond’s hips to make sure the half-Elf didn’t move unexpectedly, pulling his lover close.

 

Elrond bit into the sheet as his lover’s heat pierced him. Shallow pain, already mixing with pleasure, slid through his body. It was so intense that he was afraid to lose consciousness. But then Thranduil was fully sheathed inside him and instead of thrusting, the blond remained motionless.

 

Whimpering, he tried to gain his lover’s attention, but then Thranduil rested his body on top of his, penetrating him even deeper and brushing his gland, hidden deep within the channel. “Hard… hard… Ai… hard and deep!” He panted the words and felt frustrated when Thranduil slowly pulled out and then tormenting slowly entered him again. He was about to protest to the slow thrusts, but then Thranduil brushed his sweet spot again, causing hot sweat to form all over his body.

 

Thranduil wrapped his arms around the half-Elf’s trembling frame, rocking slowly. One thrust took several heartbeats, and he could hear Elrond yelp and feel him shake with sensation. Slowly, he continued to possess his lover, thrusting deliberately and deeply.

 

Elrond suddenly tensed beneath him and he buried himself deeply within the tight, hot passage. The spasms that erupted around his shaft took his breath away and he buried his face in the long, now damp hair. Finding the nape of his lover’s neck, he bit into the smooth flesh, marking the half-Elf as Elrond had marked him.

 

Squirming in ecstasy beneath the blond, Elrond realized that his lover was still hard, still inside him and hadn’t come yet, whilst he had just reached his orgasm. “Ah, I… do not… want to… leave you…behind.”

 

Thranduil smiled wickedly, and was glad that Elrond couldn’t see his primal expression. “I am just waiting for you to stop riding those last waves of pleasure and then I will take you again.”

 

“Aiya, what?” Finally coming down from the sensual high, Elrond cocked his head, cursing the blindfold. He wanted to look into his lover’s eyes!

 

Thranduil, sensing Elrond’s need, slowly removed the blindfold. When their eyes met, both were taken aback by the expression in the other's eyes. The half-Elf’s long hair was a tangled mess and a precious droplet of blood flowed down his lover’s neck, where he had just broken the skin.

 

Unexpectedly Thranduil’s tongue lapped at his neck and Elrond felt the familiar stirrings of arousal return. “Again…” He had only just come and now Thranduil was moving inside him again! The rhythmic thrusts began anew, but this time they were fast and shallow. Abandoned to the rocking, he allowed his lover to make love to him again.

 

“Aye, again!” Thranduil executed a few shallow thrusts to bring himself to orgasm, careful not to leave the half-Elf sore. Throwing back his head, he released a triumphant growl.

 

Elrond’s eyes widened, hearing that growl. Looking over his shoulder, his heart thundered madly, seeing the blond surrender to his ecstasy. /So beautiful… and he is mine!/

 

Thranduil collapsed atop of his lover and rested his head against the half-Elf’s back. “Was that what you wanted?”

 

Elrond struggled against the ribbons and one by one, they gave in. Free now, he rolled onto his side, causing Thranduil’s sated sex to slip from his body.

 

Thranduil spooned up behind the half-Elf, emitting a contented moan. Wrapping his arms around Elrond, he sighed blissfully. “You have exhausted me, Peredhel. Now we both need to rest.”

 

Elrond smiled and pushed back, relishing the feel of his lover’s body curled around his. “Thank you…”

 

Thranduil moved slowly, pulling Elrond even closer to him. “Why do you like it so much when I take control?”

 

“I get to let go for the briefest of moments. At times it feels like the faith of Arda rests on my shoulders, and when you take control I can let go, surrender.” Elrond sighed, and pulled Thranduil’s arm tightly around his body. “Thank you for relieving that burden.”

 

Thranduil smiled into the damp hair. “So you would like me to do this again?”

 

Elrond grinned. “Aye.” Had he really found everything he needed in Thranduil? Yes. With a sated grin on his face, he slowly fell asleep, finally letting go of his worries.

 

Thranduil however, remained awake, watching over his lover.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor blinked sleepily, waking up in Glorfindel’s protective arms. When had they fallen asleep? Then his memories returned. They had bathed, braided one another’s hair, and then the blond had suggested lying down to rest. He had obediently curled around the flaxen-haired Elda and had almost instantly fallen asleep.

 

“Awake again?”

 

Erestor smiled, hearing Glorfindel’s amused tone. Looking up, he locked gazes with the blond. They lay facing each other and his lover had twirled a strand of dark hair around his finger. The look the Elda directed at him caused a lump to form in his throat. “Is something wrong?” he asked, timidly, wondering why there was such a thoughtful expression in his lover’s eyes.

 

“Nay, everything is finally right,” whispered Glorfindel, dotingly. “I had this incredible dream,” he continued in a soft tone, “And in that dream you promised to be mine forever.”

 

“That was no dream,” said Erestor, shyly. “I did promise to bind myself to you.”

 

“And you meant it?” Glorfindel stared, entranced, into his lover’s dark eyes.

 

“Did you?” asked Erestor teasingly, already knowing Glorfindel’s answer.

 

“Oh, yes.” Dreamily, Glorfindel tangled his fingers in the long, dark tresses. “I cannot imagine life without you.”

 

Pleased, Erestor smiled at him. He raised himself onto all fours and boldly crawled onto Glorfindel and straddled his hips.

 

“What are you doing, melamin?” Glorfindel raised an eyebrow, puzzled. But then his expression changed into pure pleasure when Erestor curled up in his arms.

 

“You feel so warm. I cannot get enough of you.”

 

Glorfindel pressed a kiss onto the dark hair. “I hope you will never get enough of me, melamin…” Amused, he listened to the soft snoring that now tumbled from Erestor’s lips. “By the Grace of the Valar, he is asleep again!” Smiling warmly, he buried his lover in a warm hug and then returned to sleep as well.

 

TBC


	23. Chapter 23

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 23

 

 

Legolas had enjoyed Elrohir’s company during the afternoon, but then the half-Elf had excused himself to check on Elladan, who was about to return from the border patrol. On his way to the guest quarters, he was overcome by a sense of melancholy that had visited him frequently these last few weeks. Sitting down beneath an ash tree, he enjoyed the peace and quiet.

 

Sniffing the air, he realized that the kitchens had to be close, as delightful fragrances drifted up his nostrils. His stomach growled softly, reminding him he hadn’t eaten since breakfast. Ah, but dinner would be served within the hour.

 

Motion to his right attracted his attention and he raised an eyebrow, seeing a white bunny hop his way. It had long, fluffy ears, a shiny coat and came to a halt in front of him, sitting on his hind legs. It almost seemed like it was looking at him.

 

Legolas smiled, extended his hand and let the animal take in his scent. When the bunny didn’t move away, he carefully gathered it in his hands and placed it in his arms, stroking the long ears.

 

It had been a while since he had felt this much at peace. The smile slowly faded and a frown returned in its place. Melancholy, regret and even depression crept into his heart, making him sigh, distressed. Losing himself in the simple motion of stroking the soft fur, he bowed his head. Loneliness crashed in on him and almost caused tears to appear in his eyes.

 

Loneliness… He had been lonely for so long. He had hoped to find a mate, the other half of his soul, but he had either been disappointed or betrayed when his would-be lovers admitted that they were mostly attracted to him because of his appearance. Why couldn’t anyone look beneath his so-called beauty?

 

Many potential lovers had sung about his long, golden hair and eyes that sparkled like sapphire. But when he stood in front of the mirror and studied his reflection, he couldn’t see that fabled beauty. All he saw was a terribly lonely Elf.

 

His father had assured him that the day would come when he would find true love, but he had given up on that hope. Once someone looked into his eyes, they seemed lost and hardly ever tried to get to know him. The real him. If only he could shed his beauty and search for love that would be true to -him-, not his looks.

 

Suddenly, and interrupting his musings, one of the cooks appeared in the doorway, an angry frown on his face. Legolas didn’t know why, but he quickly covered the rabbit, which had comfortably settled in his arms, with his cloak, hiding it from view.

 

The cook scowled, and his eyes narrowed, as if searching for something. Spying Legolas beneath the tree, he addressed the blond. “Excuse me, but have you seen a rabbit? It is supposed to be part of tonight’s dinner, but it somehow escaped. I am hoping to catch it again.”

 

Legolas didn’t plan on letting the rabbit being part of dinner and shook his head. “I am sorry, but I cannot help you.”

 

The cook sighed, disappointedly, and returned to his chores, leaving Legolas behind. The Elf pushed back his cloak and stared at the large, brown eyes trustingly looking up at him. “You were very lucky, my little friend. If I had not saved you, I would have found you on my plate tonight.”

 

It was hard to believe that such an accomplished warrior and hunter like him would take pity on a fluffy bunny. But he patted the animal’s head and then placed it on the ground. Feeling the grass beneath its feet, it immediately sprinted away. He envied the animal its freedom. Maybe it had a mate out there, and now they would be united again.

 

Shaking his head at that thought, he tiredly pushed himself to his feet. He couldn’t help but wonder if he would be alone for the rest of his long, immortal life. But at least he still had his father and brother. And maybe he could befriend Elrohir as well. Another deep sigh fled from his lips and his slumped shoulders revealed his weariness as he headed for his father’s quarters, hoping Thranduil would spare him a moment and talk to him. He needed his father right now.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Thranduil regretted having to leave his lover for even a brief moment, but he had agreed to move into Elrond’s quarters and was now collecting his belongings from his quest rooms. The soft knock on the door made him smile, knowing exactly who was standing on the other side of it. “You do not have to knock, Legolas.” For as long as he could remember he had shared a bond with his youngest that had never been established between himself and Valthoron.

 

“I did not want to… interrupt anything,” said Legolas shyly, but with a smile on his face. “You might have been busy… with Elrond.” Having searched his feelings where his father and Elrond were concerned, he had found that he felt happy for them. His father had suffered in silence for so many centuries that he was glad the half-Elf had finally come to his senses. How Elrond could ever have rejected his father was beyond him. Thranduil was one of the most passionate, intelligent and caring people he had ever met - and he had met a lot of people during his wanderings all over Arda.

 

Thranduil cleared his throat, slightly nervous. He knew Legolas accepted this union, but he still felt a little hesitant to discuss this matter with his son. “I… uhm, Elrond asked me to collect my belongings and… and to move in with him.” Blushing slightly, he smiled apologetically at his youngest. “If you do not mind, that is.”

 

Legolas smiled ruefully. “Ada, I want you to be happy. You should know that.”

 

But Thranduil tasted the pain and sorrow beneath those words. After catching his son’s gaze, he rested a hand on Legolas’ shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. “Your time will come.”

 

Legolas shrugged, unconvinced. “I doubt that.”

 

Hearing those words greatly pained Thranduil. “If only I could take away your sorrow. You were never meant to carry such a burden.”

 

“At times I wished I had not been graced with your looks,” admitted Legolas in a choked tone.

 

“But it is more than just your looks that blinds everyone who looks at you.” Thranduil gathered his son’s hands in his. “There is this incredible radiance inside you and it shines from your eyes. People cannot help falling in love with your warmth, that radiance.”

 

“But they never love me for who I am, just for the way I look.”

 

“Legolas, do not give up. Not all people are that shallow. One will come that looks further than your looks and will love you for being the warm and caring person that you are.”

 

“I wish I could shed this skin and… and…” Legolas stuttered, uncertain what he wanted to say. “Why was I not born… ugly?” He gladly gave in when his father’s arms came up around him, holding him close. “I want to have what… what you and Elrond have. Why can’t I have that?”

 

Thranduil sighed, deeply. Legolas’ pain was his pain. Soothing his youngest, he said, “Try to find comfort in the company of the twins. Spend time with Erestor and Glorfindel; maybe their presence will distract you from your troubles.”

 

Legolas’ eyes met his father’s. “I cannot do that. They are happy. My presence would only cause them distress, especially Erestor.”

 

“You could not cause –anyone- distress, Legolas, not even if you tried.” Thranduil probed his son’s eyes. “You cannot help attracting people, Legolas. It is this light… and it shines from within you.”

 

Legolas meekly accepted his father’s words, which he had heard countless times before. “But I am still alone.”

 

Thranduil worried about his son. It wasn’t good for someone of Legolas’ age to be alone, to be without a mate. The solitude could turn into grief and then he would lose his son to Mandos. Maybe it was about time he intervened and found his son someone worthy to love?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elladan dismounted, happy to see that his twin was already awaiting him. Walking toward Elrohir, he noticed the sadness in the dark eyes, and instinctively, he clasped his brother’s shoulder, pulling him in for a hug. “What is wrong, Elrohir?” His brother would never be able to hide anything from him, and most certainly not pain or sorrow. They were an open book to each other. “What causes you such sorrow?”

 

“Legolas…” whispered Elrohir, crestfallen. He fell into step beside his brother when Elladan headed for their rooms. “I spent the entire afternoon in his presence and we have so much in common. His mother sailed for the Undying Lands as well. He seemed so sad when he mentioned losing his mother only one day after reaching his majority… And he has an older brother as well.”

 

Elladan sighed. “Your feelings for him are deepening.”

 

“Aye,” murmured Elrohir. “I can only think of him. His eyes, the light that shines from them. Oh, brother, I can tell he is a warm and caring person. But I cannot spend any more time in his company. You –must- trade places with me. Ada asked if I could take Legolas to the Bruinen tomorrow and show him the borders. I cannot do that. My heart is breaking, knowing he is this close and that I cannot tell him how I feel.”

 

Elladan closely studied his brother. “Aren’t you overreacting, brother? You only met him a few days ago. How can he have such an impact on you? Granted, he is beautiful, but…”

 

“Aiya…” Elrohir sighed, distressed, and placed his right hand over his heart. “I can feel it here. I have never felt anything like it before. Elladan, brother, did Ada not tell us that an Elf can die of a broken heart? Mine feels broken. I wonder if that means I will die after Legolas has left.”

 

Suddenly Elladan grabbed his brother’s shoulders tightly and shook him. “Come to your senses, brother! You are not going to die!” What had gotten into Elrohir? “You are in love, but that feeling will pass once Legolas leaves for Mirkwood. The feeling will fade in time.”

 

Elrohir’s gaze darkened, saddened. “I do not want him to leave. I want him to stay. To hear his voice, to bask in his inner glow.” Growing angry, he shook off his brother’s hands. “You cannot possibly understand!”

 

“Brother, calm yourself. You are beginning to scare me!” Elladan persevered and regained a hold on his brother’s shoulders. “We are going to see Ada now. This cannot continue.” The truth was that Elrohir was scaring him. It almost seemed like his twin was losing his sanity. “Ada will know what to do.”

 

Elrohir bowed his head, realizing Elladan had made a valid point. He was not acting normally and a part of him understood that he was losing control. When he had been with Legolas, he had felt at peace, cherished, warm, but now that the blond was gone, he felt cold and lonely. “Help me, Elladan. I do not know what is happening to me.”

 

“We are going to talk to Ada,” decreed Elladan, determined. “Now.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond looked up in mild surprise at seeing his sons enter, but one good look at Elrohir told him that something was amiss with his youngest. Rising from behind his desk, he quickly advanced on them and turned Elrohir’s face toward the sunlight, closely probing the haunted eyes. “Ion-nîn, what weighs this heavily on your mind?” Looking at Elladan, he caught the twin’s nod. “You may leave, Elladan. I will talk to your brother.”

 

Elladan left his father’s study and wandered aimlessly through the corridors, ending up near the guest rooms. Why was he here? Looking about, he saw that Thranduil’s door was ajar. Unable to help himself he remained quiet, listening to the King’s soft and caring voice. Whom was Thranduil talking to?

 

“You could not cause –anyone- distress, Legolas, not even if you tried. You cannot help attracting people, Legolas. It is this light… and it shines from within you.”

 

That was Thranduil’s voice all right, soothing and calming. And apparently he was reassuring his son. A sudden, distressing thought entered his mind. Had Legolas realized how upset Elrohir was and now felt guilty? But no, he knew his brother better than that; Elrohir wouldn’t show his feelings that openly to Legolas.

 

Then Legolas’ voice could be heard, as light as butterfly dancing in the wind. “But I am still alone.”

 

The blond’s tone made Elladan flinch. Alone? Why would Legolas be alone? He probably had a group of admirers at home, throwing themselves at his feet. Maybe some of them were more than admirers? Lovers even? But no, that didn’t make sense either, for then Legolas wouldn’t feel lonely. What a tangled web this was!

 

Feeling like the intruder he was, he backed away from the doorway and ventured outside in need of some fresh air. Bowing his head, he wondered when everything had become so complicated.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Sit down,” said Elrond, gently guiding his youngest son to the chairs close to the fire that was sparkling in the fireplace. “And now tell me what is wrong.” Seating himself opposite Elrohir, he clasped his son’s hands tightly, letting the younger half-Elf know he would do whatever he could to relieve his pain.

 

Elrohir averted his eyes and wondered what to say.

 

“You can tell me. You should know that.” Elrond now truly felt worried. Elrohir had never hesitated to trust in him. His heart faltered when a sudden thought startled him. “Is this about my relationship with Thranduil? Do you disapprove? Would you prefer…” He wasn’t sure if he could give up on his love for the golden-haired Elf, but it this love caused his youngest son to be in pain, he would have to sacrifice his personal happiness for the sake of his son. Elrohir was so very dear to him!

 

Elrohir’s eyes widened at hearing his father ramble uncontrollably and he quickly squeezed Elrond’s hands, cutting him short. “Nay, Ada, I am happy for you and Thranduil. I approve with my entire heart. Your love for him is… not the problem.” But his love for Thranduil’s son was. “I cannot tell you,” he whispered, embarrassed.

 

By now Elrond was fairly sure this was about matters of the heart; a heart which Elrohir might have lost to someone...but who? Who could have conquered his son’s heart? Who had recently entered their lives and possessed the inner beauty to enrapture his son like this?

 

“This is about Legolas,” said Elrond in a soft, understanding tone, having reached the only possible conclusion. Elrohir’s stricken expression confirmed his thoughts. “What did he do?”

 

“Nothing,” sighed Elrohir, distressed. “We spent the afternoon together and I… liked his company.” After drawing in a deep breath, he finally confided in his father. “I liked his company too much.”

 

“Too much?” Elrond studied his son from beneath an arched eyebrow.

 

Elrohir shifted on the chair. Did he really have to spell it out to his father? “I think I am in love with him,” he admitted in a tiny voice. His eyes downcast, he shivered, wondering what his father had to say about this. “I did not plan it. It just happened.”

 

Elrond continued to rub Elrohir’s hands, tightly cradled in his, and waited for his son to calm down. Once the shy, dark eyes met his, he said, “Legolas is very fair and younger than you are.” Thoughtfully, he studied his son. “Will you tell me how this started?”

 

“It happened when he arrived at the night of Eridhren’s last rites. Thranduil and you were about to retire and Elladan and I did not want to disturb you so we welcomed Legolas instead. That was when I felt it for the first time. It felt like liquid light traveling through my veins, warming my body from the inside out. And when he is near I feel lightheaded and warm. I cannot bear the thought of being away from him and even now, talking to you, an ache burns my heart.” Breathless after his long speech, he drew in a deep breath. “Ada, I do not want to feel this way. I know it is wrong.”

 

Elrond frowned, concerned. “Why do you think it is wrong to feel this way?” He slowly realized that Elrohir was truly troubled by his love for Legolas. The fact that he had mentioned an ache in his heart alerted Elrond, only too familiar with the concept of grief. He had seen his wife fade and he never wanted to see something that sad ever again.

 

“Because…” Elrohir shrugged, growing timid. “Because of you and Thranduil. I should not love Legolas in that way. Now that Thranduil and you are lovers, I feel like I should love Legolas like a brother - but not in –that- way. By Elbereth, did that make any sense?” Looking at his father, he found amusement in Elrond’s gaze. By the Grace of the Valar, how could his father find any of this amusing? He was in serious, emotional distress here!

 

Elrond allowed a small grin to break through. “Correct me if I am wrong, Elrohir, but are you tormenting yourself like this because I am in love with Legolas’ father?”

 

Elrohir nodded, curtly. “I cannot be attracted to him in that way, but my heart refuses to listen. Ada, tell me, what do I do? How can I stop these feelings, this desire to be near him?”

 

But Elrond didn’t answer just yet. First, he asked, “What does Elladan think of this attraction you developed for Legolas?”

 

Elrohir shrugged again, and leaned into the comfort of the chair, appreciating the fact that his father was still holding on, gently rubbing his knuckles. He had been worried about Elrond’s reaction when finding out about his crush. He wasn’t sure how he had expected his father to react, but he was glad Elrond was patient and understanding. “At first he said I should stop fighting these feelings and give in them. But now he realizes as well that I am losing control and he dragged me here to talk to you.”

 

“So Elladan approves of this attraction?” Elrohir’s eyes were weary when they met his, and Elrond realized he had to tread carefully.

 

“He does, but why I do not know.” Elrohir’s eyes were beginning to fill with tears. “Ada, tell me what to do, for my heart cannot take any more of this.”

 

Elrond nodded once. “What does your heart tell you?”

 

“My heart?” echoed Elrohir, “My heart tells me to conquer his and cherish him.”

 

“And your mind?”

 

“To stay away from him. To deny these feelings inside me. My heart and mind and are war with each other and I feel adrift on these emotions.” Suddenly Elrohir leaned in closer, pulling his father’s hands close to his heart. “Please send me away. Send me to ‘Lorien to visit my grand parents, send me anywhere, but please do not make me stay here.”

 

Elrond firmly shook his head. “I won’t do any of that, but I will ease your mind.” Elrond pushed his chair closer to his son’s and made sure he had Elrohir’s undivided attention. “First, I want you to know that your feelings for Legolas are normal. You are in love, Elrohir, and your body sings with love and affection for the subject of your desires. There is –nothing-, absolutely –nothing- wrong with feeling this way.”

 

“But he is Thranduil’s son!” Elrohir was close to bursting into tears.

 

Elrond smiled warmly. “Love comes in all forms, Elrohir. The fact that Thranduil and I are lovers does not mean you cannot pursue Legolas. If anything, I commend you on your choice. I do believe the young Princeling and you are well suited for each other. If it is reassurance you sought, know that you have it. If it was permission to pursue Legolas, you have that as well. But you do not have my permission to run away to ‘Lorien and deny these feelings. Elladan is right, you know. You should rejoice at feeling this way.”

 

But Elrohir wasn’t convinced yet. “And what if he does not want me? What if he does not feel the same way about me?”

 

“This won’t be easy,” admitted Elrond. “I do not know Legolas’ feelings. Maybe you should try to befriend him first? Once he realizes what a kind and caring person you are, you might be able to take the next step. Do not rush this. Let friendship blossom between the two of you first, and should your feelings be mutual, then act on them.”

 

Elrohir was calming down, hearing his father’s reassuring words. “Then you do not think it is wrong for me to feel this way?”

 

“I don’t,” said Elrond, smiling dotingly at his son. “You reached your majority many decades ago. It is about time you fell in love and took a mate. But do not pressure Legolas. Let him come to you instead.” Elrond bit his bottom lip, uncertain if he should add the observation he had made earlier, but in the end he decided to tell Elrohir. “I watched Legolas and you earlier. When you were not looking, a very pained expression surfaced in his eyes. I might be wrong, but my instincts tell me he is very unhappy.”

 

“Unhappy? Why?” Elrohir straightened his shoulders at hearing this new information.

 

“I do not know why, but he seems lonely to me.” Elrond frowned, wondering why someone as beautiful as Legolas would be burdened by loneliness, but that question led him to his answer. He had seen it many times before; Elflings who had grown to be exceedingly stunning had been lonely because hardly anyone dared to approach them, and the ones who did usually didn’t look further than the outward appearance. Maybe Legolas had experienced too many of those courtiers and had lost the hope that he would ever find that special one who would love him for who he was. “Give it time, Elrohir, and at your young age, you have plenty of that.”

 

Elrohir slowly wiped away his remaining tears. “I cannot believe you said that.”

 

“What did you expect me to say?”

 

“That I should stay strong and not pursue this.”

 

“You were wrong then,” said Elrond, teasingly. “Do you feel better now?”

 

“I do,” said Elrohir, smiling weakly. “I feel… relieved.”

 

“And tonight you will have the pleasure of joining Thranduil and I for dinner. And did I mention Legolas will be there as well?” Elrond beamed at seeing the glow return to his son’s eyes. “Maybe you could take him for a walk in the gardens? And I will keep Elladan occupied. Do not worry about deserting him.”

 

“Thank you, Ada.” Leaning in closer, he freed his hands and folded his arms tightly around his father’s shoulders. “Thank you to talking to me.”

 

“You are always welcome, Elrohir. Always.” He hoped he had managed to soothe his son’s mind, and he might even talk to Thranduil about this development. He didn’t think anything wrong with trying to enlist his lover’s help.

 

TBC


	24. Chapter 24

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 24

 

 

Glorfindel couldn’t tear his eyes away from Erestor’s form. The raven-haired Elf was sitting behind his desk, in a room adjoining Elrond’s study. The blond had nestled on the windowsill, trying hard to not disturb his lover as he was working his way through a pile of paperwork. Erestor had assured him it would be fine if he returned to his own chores, but he had refused, unable to part from the advisor.

 

“You are still watching me,” whispered Erestor, trying hard to remain focused on the work at hand.

 

“I cannot help it,” said Glorfindel cheerfully. “You are stunning.” He smiled, pleased at seeing a fierce blush spread all over his lover’s face. It was sad really, realizing that being complimented was something Erestor still had to get used to. “You really are, nîn amdir.”

 

Erestor sighed, giving up on finishing the report he was working on. Looking at his lover, he returned the warm smile, which he encountered on Glorfindel’s face. “I really do not deserve you.” Pushing back his chair, he got to his feet and walked over to the window.

 

Glorfindel lowered his feet onto the floor, opened his arms and wrapped them around Erestor’s frame. Resting his head against his lover’s shoulders, he sighed blissfully. “I am so happy that things have eventually calmed down. These have been some very troubling weeks.” Looking up at Erestor, his smile darkened. “Only a few weeks ago I barely managed to tolerate your presence and then… I often wonder if the Valar sent that storm, for it made me see beneath your mask, melamin.”

 

Erestor, whose heart missed a beat, wrapped Glorfindel in a tight embrace. “I have an admission to make…” His voice faded, as if uncertain if he should continue.

 

Glorfindel frowned. “What kind of admission? Nîn amdir, please do not tell me you are keeping more secrets.”

 

“Only one,” mumbled Erestor, burying his face against the silk of Glorfindel’s green tunic. He really didn’t want to make this admission, but felt his lover had a right to know. “Do you recall the day you arrived in Imladris?”

 

Still frowning, Glorfindel nodded once. “Aye, I remember. Elrond had an arm around Celebrian’s waist and she was cradling Arwen in her arm. Lindir was still here and Elladan was more than curious to meet me. But Elrohir reached for you, holding your hand tightly and I…” Glorfindel wavered, bit his bottom lip nervously, and then continued, “And I wondered why he liked you that much. You seemed so cold, so distant. Now I understand why you were hiding and how much you had perfected that mask, but back then you intrigued me.” Searching his memories, Glorfindel added, “I disliked you.” Giving Erestor an apologetic smile, he hoped his words wouldn’t cause his lover sorrow. “If only I had realized how much pain was hiding beneath that cool exterior.”

 

“I would not have let you see beneath it,” said Erestor thoughtfully. Still kneeling in front of his lover, he cradled Glorfindel’s hands against his chest. “But the dislike was not mutual.”

 

Glorfindel raised an eyebrow curiously. “Not mutual? I could have sworn…” His eyes grew big, finally fully realizing what Erestor was trying to tell him. “You liked me?”

 

Erestor cleared his throat and averted his eyes, unable to maintain eye contact with his lover. “I thought you were the most radiant being I had ever seen.”

 

Glorfindel unexpectedly laughed warmly. “And I was convinced you hated me.”

 

Erestor’s features contorted painfully. “That was what I wanted you to think.”

 

“Aiya, melamin, it saddens me to know that we could have been lovers much earlier.”

 

Erestor shook his head. “Nay, I would not have been ready to take that step back then. You would not have gotten through to me. I am surprised you did at all.” If he hadn’t been that seriously wounded they might never have realized their love.

 

Glorfindel slowly rose from the windowsill, pulling Erestor to his feet with him. Smiling radiantly, he planted a passionate kiss on his lover’s lips, realizing just how fortunate he was to have gained the raven-haired Elf’s love.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond watched the interaction between Elrohir and Legolas and quickly realized that his son was perfectly hiding his attraction from the blond. No matter how badly Elrohir had panicked in his study earlier, not a trace of nervousness had been left on the younger half-Elf’s face. But he knew Elrohir well enough to know his youngest son was suffering in silence.

 

Legolas seemed completely unaware of the situation. The blond was playing with the food on his plate, his appetite clearly gone. Elrond wondered why.

 

His gaze shifted further to Thranduil and he noticed the worried look the blond shot Legolas. The expression in Thranduil’s eyes alerted him and he wondered why his lover felt this sad. Was something wrong with Legolas? He sighed softly, hoping no one had heard. Only hours ago he had relished the peace and quiet when his lover had taken charge of the situation, and now new problems had appeared. As usual, it was up to him to solve them.

 

Thranduil had heard Elrond’s sigh and he searched his lover’s troubled eyes. It was most fortunate that the half-Elf was seated next to him, so it was easy to lean in and whisper into Elrond’s ear. “I do not like that look in your eyes. Should I sweep you off your feet and carry you to your rooms to make sure you stop brooding?”

 

Elrond actually grinned. “I would like that, but no, that is not necessary. You are right though. I am worried.”

 

“What about?” Thranduil, realizing Elrohir and Legolas were questioningly staring at him, straightened his shoulders. He still didn’t feel completely comfortable at expressing his feelings for Elrond, but he didn’t plan on hiding them either.

 

“We will discuss this later… in private.” Elrond had intercepted Elrohir’s worried glance and graced his son with a warm, reassuring smile, telling him everything was all right.

 

But Elrohir realized something was wrong and probed his father’s gaze. /Do not tell Thranduil! What I told you was confidential! Please do not tell Thranduil!/ When he had confided in his father, he hadn’t been thinking straight, otherwise he might have remained quiet. His father and Thranduil were lovers. It was only logical they would discuss him and his feelings!

 

Elrohir’s gaze darted nervously to Thranduil’s eyes, but the blond was now staring intently at Legolas. He was missing some pieces of this puzzle. His father was concerned about him and Thranduil about Legolas. The only one who was truly cheerful and unburdened was Elladan.

 

Elladan had watched the scene with slowly unfolding amazement and curiosity. It seemed like he was carrying out a conversation with himself as no one else was listening or reacting. He was beginning to feel sorry for his younger twin, although Elrohir did seem calmer than when he had delivered his brother to his father’s study. Talking to their father had helped, but had it soothed Elrohir’s troubled mind sufficiently?

 

Elrond leaned back in his chair, making his move. “Elrohir, why don’t you show Legolas your mother’s gardens? I am sure the cool, fresh air would revive your spirits, which seemed to be bored by Elladan’s chatter.” He ignored the fact that Elladan arched an eyebrow at his words and almost shooed them out of the room. “And take your time. There is no reason to hurry back!”

 

Elrohir, after rising from his chair, found himself unsteady on his feet, and reached for the wall, composing himself. Suddenly he grew aware of Legolas walking toward him. After drawing in a deep breath, he forced himself to smile warmly. “My father is right. I do think you will enjoy a walk in the gardens.”

 

Legolas nodded politely. He still wondered why Elrond was this determined to see them off to the gardens instead of spending the evening with them. But he quickly fell into step beside the half-Elf, and glanced at his companion. He just couldn’t determine if Elrohir was nervous or calm. Something just didn’t feel right.

 

Elrohir guided Legolas into the gardens and he deeply inhaled the flowers’ sweet fragrances. They made him feel calm and he peeked at the blond, walking silently next to him. “The night is quiet and beautiful, don’t you think so?”

 

Legolas smiled weakly. “I like the night; its calm, the peace that settles over the land.” Returning Elrohir’s glance he asked, “Don’t you think your brother will feel left out? As twins you will be seldom parted.”

 

Elrohir laughed. “Oh, it is not like we are joined at the hip. We are perfectly capable of leading separate lives, although we greatly enjoy another’s company.”

 

Legolas felt somewhat relieved. “I would have hated to be the reason for any separation, however brief, between the two of you.”

 

Elrohir rolled his eyes. “Believe me, there are times when I wished we did not share quarters. It is hard to get some privacy at times, but we have never considered asking father to assign us new rooms. They feel comfortable.” Elrohir scanned his surroundings and located a nice spot beneath an old oak tree. “We could sit down for a moment and enjoy the quiet.” He certainly hoped his nervousness didn’t show; he was doing his best to radiate calm.

 

Legolas accepted Elrohir’s lead and seated himself next to the twin, when the half-Elf rested his back against the trunk. He tucked his legs beneath him, sitting cross-legged and enjoying Ithil’s silver beams.

 

“Legolas?” Elrohir heard how much his voice trembled at speaking that name and wondered if he shouldn’t have remained quiet instead. But then those incredible azure eyes focused questioningly on him and he knew he had to continue. “What is life like in Mirkwood?”

 

Pleasantly surprised that Elrohir was inquiring about his home he gladly obliged the half-Elf. “We live high in the trees, in telain. I like it there. The caves, which you mentioned earlier, are guarded and hold most of father’s treasure. And not all of it is just jewelry. He also possesses a large of collection of ancient scrolls and books. When I was an Elfling I sometimes liked to dwell there. And yes,” he added, just knowing what Elrohir was about to say, “At times father also uses those caves as a prison, but it has not been used in that capacity for decades.”

 

Elrohir briefly closed his eyes and let himself drift on the pleasant tone of Legolas’ voice. “And your older brother?”

 

“Valthoron?” Legolas studied Elrohir, who seemed utterly relaxed. “He is centuries older than I am and always thinks he has to keep an eye on me. I love him, but he is overprotective. When my mother sailed for the Undying Lands he tried to take her place. He tried so hard… too hard. I slowly felt suffocated and asked father permission to leave Mirkwood and explore the rest of Arda.”

 

Elrohir’s eyes opened and he blinked at finding Legolas staring at him. “I have patrolled the borders and I have visited Lothlorien, but I have never been into the lands of Man and Dwarves. Did you meet any?”

 

Legolas nodded. “They stared at me in disbelief and I quickly learned to hide my features. They are not used to Elves walking in their cities, and at first they followed me around, thinking I was one of their deities.”

 

Elrohir could actually picture Legolas running through the streets, being chased by a crowd of admirers. The thought made him grin giddily and he slapped his knees.

 

“What is so funny?” Legolas frowned; this was one reaction he wasn’t used to.

 

“I can just see you trying to hide from a mad crowd, which thinks that you are one of their gods incarnated.”

 

“And that is funny? Why?”

 

“I have no idea,” admitted Elrohir, slowly sobering. “I apologize for my outburst.” But he continued to grin, shaking his head to dispel the amusing mental image. “It is late. I am probably just tired.” Looking at Legolas, he caught the blond shooting him a most confused glance.

 

Legolas felt thoroughly confused. Most Elves didn’t dare burst out laughing in his presence, but Elrohir was apparently different, which was utterly refreshing. “We should return to our rooms shortly.”

 

“The night is still young,” said Elrohir slowly. Ithil’s silver beams seemed to caress Legolas’ silk hair and alabaster skin. Elrohir quickly composed himself, keeping a sigh of admiration from fleeing his lips. He hoped Legolas felt comfortable being around him and he didn’t want to ruin the hopeful beginnings of their friendship by staring at him with a maddening, lusty gaze, which would only drive the blond away from him.

 

Recalling his father’s observation, Elrohir carefully probed. “But you must have felt lonely, roaming Arda alone. Did your heart not call you back to Mirkwood?” Legolas tensed noticeably and Elrohir wished he hadn’t asked that particular question, but it did mean that his father’s observation was correct. Why else would Legolas become as tense as a bowstring and stare at him with such a lost expression in his eyes?

 

Legolas felt cornered. How was it possible that the half-Elf had seen his loneliness, which he managed to hide most of the time? He decided to skillfully maneuver around answering the question. “Mirkwood is my home and will always call my name.”

 

Elrohir inclined his head, realizing Legolas had dodged answering his question. He would try again later, maybe once the blond felt more at home in Imladris. “Do you already have plans for tomorrow?” He felt bold, asking such a question! He barely refrained from lowering his eyes when Legolas looked quizzically at him. /Please do not let him see the love in my eyes./ Instead, he returned the inquiring gaze, trying to appear calm and controlled.

 

Legolas shook his head. “Why ask?”

 

Elrohir shrugged his shoulders, feigning only marginal interest in his companion. “Father thought you might enjoy a visit to the Bruinen and maybe we could test some of our fighting skills? An archery contest, perhaps?” The sudden glow that appeared in Legolas’ eyes took him aback. He had obviously said something that had pleased the blond.

 

“Archery?” Legolas grinned. “Prepare to be defeated then. I have never been bested and I cannot imagine it happening now.”

 

Legolas’ smile was infectious and Elrohir grinned madly as well. “There is a first time for everything.” Looking at the golden-haired Elf, he felt pleased at the relaxed setting their conversation was taking place in. They both seemed comfortable and maybe they would become friends. /But I want it to be so much more./ Everything he had heard had made him fall more in love with the blond. /He loves his family and is loyal to them, but he is also adventurous./ Legolas’ appearance, which had attracted him at first, was becoming less important, now that he was learning what a kind and caring person the youngest son of Thranduil was.

 

It also made him more determined to pursue Legolas. He would take his father’s advice and take things slowly and not pressure the blond. He wanted Legolas to come to him, because for some reason his companion seemed shy and insecure. /I am patient. I can wait./

 

“We should return to our rooms now,” said Elrohir, regretting the magical night had come to an end. “But I will meet you here again tomorrow?” He secretly thanked his father for suggesting visiting the Bruinen. Maybe they could go for a swim and… Oh, swooning, he quickly reached for the trunk of the tree to steady him; he might get to see Legolas naked then. But that lovely thought also presented him with a problem; what if he became aroused in the presence of the blond? But then again, maybe Legolas would have the same problem? Smiling fondly, he fell into step beside Legolas, as they returned to the Last Homely House.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Thranduil had waited until they had reached Elrond’s rooms before addressing his lover. “I know I missed something at dinner tonight; tell me what it is. I caught you staring repeatedly at both Elrohir and Legolas.”

 

Elrond carelessly dropped his outer robes onto the floor and removed his leggings. Clad in only a white linen shirt, he headed for the bed, his shoulders tiredly slumping forward. Why couldn’t he shake what was quickly becoming perpetual fatigue that tormented him in body and mind? Sitting down on the bed, he rested his back against the headboard and stared at the flaxen-haired Elf standing in front of his bed. “Would you hold me?” Voicing his need wasn’t as hard as he had feared.

 

Thranduil was beside him on the bed within a heartbeat and the obvious concern in the feline eyes made him smile weakly. Strong, soothing arms settled around him, pulling him close to a powerful chest and finally he began to unwind. “Can we discuss this later?” He was afraid Thranduil wouldn’t take the news that Elrohir was attracted to Legolas well.

 

“You are troubled,” said Thranduil, stating the obvious. “I thought you trusted me. Why then do you feel you cannot confide in me now?”

 

“I am afraid this will cause a rift between us.” He wasn’t sure how Thranduil would react. “One more moment then? I feel so tired and resting in your arms feels so good.”

 

Thranduil frowned, wondering how tired Elrond really felt. “I will hold you as long as you want,” he vowed, hoping to get through to Elrond. He rested his chin on the silky, raven hair and soothingly rubbed his lover’s arms. “Do you really think I will let you get away after finally catching you after all these centuries?”

 

Thranduil’s words slightly reassured Elrond, who now regretfully pulled away from the blond.

 

Thranduil reluctantly allowed it, but the distance that had now come between them felt uncomfortable. Acting instinctively, he covered that gap between them by stretching on the bed and resting his head in Elrond’s lap.

 

Surprised at Thranduil’s move, Elrond began to stroke the long, golden mane. Staring trustingly into the emerald eyes, he drew in a deep breath. “This afternoon Elrohir sought me out.”

 

Thranduil nodded, relishing the feel of his lover’s fingers moving through his hair. So this was about Elrond’s youngest son then? He decided to hold back any questions he might have and let Elrond tell his tale in his own pace.

 

“He was quite upset - in tears actually.” Elrond lovingly stared into his lover’s cat-like eyes. “He is a very sensitive youth, unlike his brother.”

 

Thranduil nodded and by doing so, moved the golden mass of hair over Elrond’s hands in a hidden caress. His lover smiled at the gesture. “Something has upset him then?” He had learned during these last few weeks that Elrond was just as close to his sons as he was to Legolas. And when Elrohir was upset, he reckoned Elrond was as well. Reaching up with his left hand, he reassuringly caressed his lover’s face. “What was he upset about?”

 

Elrond was incredibly thankful that Thranduil was giving him the time to explain properly this. “He is in love.”

 

Thranduil smiled, warmly. “In love?” He had never seen that one coming. So what was the problem? The twin had long reached his majority and was free to bind himself to the Elf of his choice.

 

Elrond moistened his lips, realizing he couldn’t continue to postpone this. “He was desperately trying to fight these feelings.”

 

“Why?” Thranduil frowned, realizing there was more to this than he had thought. “Why fight it?”

 

“Because he thought I would disapprove of his choice.”

 

“And did you?” Thranduil pushed himself into an upright position and sat cross-legged opposite his lover, looking deeply into stormy blue eyes.

 

“I did not disapprove, and told him so.”

 

Thranduil’s frown remained. “Then when do I feel like something is still wrong?”

 

“Because he - and I must admit, myself as well - fears your reaction. Your disapproval.”

 

Deep lines appeared, etched onto his brow, as Thranduil tried to put all pieces of the puzzle together… and failed. “Elrond, tell me what this is about. I grow tired of trying to solve your riddles.”

 

Elrond swallowed hard, mentally preparing himself for whatever reaction Thranduil might display. “Elrohir is in love with Legolas.” Holding his breath, he watched his lover closely. Thranduil’s lips parted, releasing an ‘oh’, and then the blond seemed to focus inward as debating the matter privately. Nervous, Elrond waited, hoping Thranduil would give this young love a chance.

 

Thranduil needed a moment to digest the unexpected news. Elrond’s youngest son was in love with Legolas? During the time he had now spent at Elrond’s side he had come to know the twins somewhat and he had to confess he liked Elrohir. The young half-Elf would make a good mate for his son.

 

“Nîn glaur?” Elrond grew worried now that the blond wasn’t responding. He would have preferred it if Thranduil had raged, anything except this deadly silence. “Thranduil?”

 

Thranduil shook himself from his musings. “And Elrohir is sincere about my son?”

 

Elrond’s eyes widened slightly. “Aye, I think he is. He has never come to me in tears over an Elf before. I am not sure, but I feel fairly certain Legolas is his first love.” Elrond tentatively gathered his lover’s hands in his, needing the contact. “I told him to follow his heart and to befriend Legolas.”

 

Absentmindedly, Thranduil nodded. “Do you think Elrohir would be a good match for Legolas?”

 

“I do not know Legolas very well,” said Elrond tentatively, “but I do know Elrohir. He is intelligent, cunning, tender and caring. He is fiercely loyal and would never do anything to bring Legolas or you dishonor or grief.”

 

Thranduil finally met his lover’s eyes and saw the apprehension in them. Elrond was afraid he would disapprove and break Elrohir’s heart. “Maybe I should welcome your son’s interest in Legolas,” he said at long last.

 

Elrond was glad he was sitting down, for Thranduil’s mellow reaction even took him aback. “You welcome it?”

 

Now it was Thranduil’s turn to sigh, distressed. “Legolas has been suffering from loneliness for the last few decades.”

 

“Loneliness?” So he had been right after all! Elrond shook his head. “But I do not understand. He is fair, caring and a great catch.”

 

“And therein lies the problem,” sighed Thranduil, smiling sadly at his lover. “No one ever falls in love with –him-. They fall in love with his eyes, his hair, his body, and that saddens Legolas. He does not want to settle down in a marriage that is mostly based on his appearance. He wants someone at his side who loves him for who he is.”

 

Elrond nodded in understanding. “But Elrohir is not that shallow.”

 

“I hope not,” said Thranduil, suddenly feeling tired as well. “What do you suggest we do?”

 

“Let them find their way. If this love was meant to be they will find passion in another’s arms and if not… We will be there to pick up the pieces.”

 

“I will make sure it won’t get that far,” stated Thranduil determinedly. “Elrohir had better not break my son’s heart.”

 

“Nîn glaur, there is little we can do except to encourage their friendship.” He refused to play match maker.

 

“And what about Elladan?” Thranduil had seen how close the twins were.

 

“We could pay more attention to him, but in the end he must find his way as well. They are twins, yes, but that should not stop them from leading their own lives.”

 

“We should keep an eye on all three of them,” decided Thranduil. “Elrond?” He raised one of the half-Elf’s hands to his lips and kissed the palm.

 

“Aye, melamin?” Elrond was relieved they had mastered this challenge. He could have easily lost his lover, had Thranduil not been this accepting.

 

“I feel tired as well.” Thranduil folded an arm around his raven-haired lover and pulled him down with him until they had attained a comfortable sleeping position. “Let me make love to you in the morning and sleep now?”

 

Elrond smiled when Thranduil spooned behind him. “I love you for accepting this.”

 

“Let us hope Elrohir and Legolas will later thank us for giving them our blessing. If not… I do not dare to think of the heartache that might follow.” He buried his face in his lover’s dark hair and managed to kiss the nape of Elrond’s neck, before settling in for the night.

 

Elrond decided to let go of his worries as Thranduil curled around him. No one knew what the future might bring, but for the moment he was content to rest in his lover’s arms.

 

TBC


	25. Chapter 25

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 25

 

The next morning, after spending another blissful night in Glorfindel’s arms, Erestor shyly knocked on the door to Elrond’s quarters. He had hoped to find the half-Elf in his study, but apparently Elrond had decided to sleep in, which was rather unusual for the Lord of Imladris.

 

Knocking softly, he sincerely hoped he wasn’t disturbing any intimacy that was taken place inside the room. The last thing he wanted was to interrupt Elrond and Thranduil when making love. Suddenly his hand dropped; wasn’t he making a big mistake in coming here? Aye, he should reconsider and leave. He couldn’t possibly ask the Elf-Lords these kinds of questions!

 

But Elrond’s voice already echoed through the room. “Enter.”

 

After drawing in a deep breath, Erestor pushed down the handle and opened the door. He quickly stepped into the room and immediately closed the door behind him, not wanting anyone to accidentally glance inside the room. Keeping his eyes lowered, he waited for Elrond to address him.

 

Elrond, sitting up against the headboard, looked up from braiding his lover’s hair and was delighted to see Erestor. “Mellon-nîn, you look better every time I see you… And is that a blush on your face?”

 

Thranduil now fastened his gaze on Erestor’s as well, recognizing their friend’s unease when Erestor shuffled his feet.

 

“I can leave if you want me to,” offered Erestor, carefully glancing at them and then lowering his eyes again. “I do not want interrupt…” His voice faded, leaving a nervous tremor in the air.

 

Elrond continued to smile at the younger Elf. He finished one braid and then began another with his lover seated between his legs. It was a good thing they had covered themselves up with sheets at the sound of that knock. Erestor looked like he was ready to bolt and the younger Elf certainly would have done just that, had he found them naked.

 

“Pull up a chair and sit down,” said Thranduil, wondering what had brought Erestor here. The younger Elf’s movements were slow and hesitant, but Thranduil’s warm smile seemed to encourage Erestor to take a seat. “How can we help?” Having known Erestor as an Elfling, he easily identified the pleading expression in the dark eyes.

 

Erestor nervously moistened his lips and still felt unable to look at the two Elves, who so easily displayed their love and affection to one another. “I have made a mistake in coming here…” he offered eventually in a shy tone. “I should have known better. I will leave now.” But contrary to his words, he didn’t move.

 

Thranduil looked over his shoulder at Elrond and signaled for his lover to stop braiding his hair, which the half-Elf did. Moving away from his lover, he shifted closer toward Erestor and slowly gathered one of the younger Elf’s hands in his. “Now tell me what is wrong. When you were younger I told you that you could always come to me. That offer still stands.”

 

Elrond smiled warmly at hearing his lover’s tone and was content to watch the scene unfold. Thranduil was at an advantage here, sharing a lot of history with Erestor. Hopefully Thranduil would manage to make Erestor open up about whatever troubled him.

 

Erestor swallowed hard, trying to rid himself of the growing lump in his throat. All kinds of emotions made it hard for him to meet Thranduil’s eyes, but when he did, he only encountered concern and genuine interest in the deep green orbs. For some reason he felt like the Elfling that had put the little trust he had in Thranduil and his wife. Maybe he could confide in the golden-haired Elf again.

 

“I…I…” Erestor stuttered and suddenly became aware of Thranduil soothingly rubbing the back of his hand. “I need your advice.”

 

Elrond moved closer, resting his chest against his lover’s back, listening intently. Maybe he could help as well?

 

“You know you can have it,” said Thranduil reassuringly. “Would you look at me?” It unnerved him that even after all these centuries Erestor was still hesitant to meet his gaze. When the younger Elf looked at him, he gently squeezed Erestor’s hand. “Tell me what troubles you.”

 

Erestor couldn’t believe he was actually going to tell Thranduil, but suddenly the words tumbled from his lips.

 

“IloveGlorfindelandIwanttomakelovetohimitisnotfairthatwecannotmakelovebutIdonotknowhowtomakelovetohimandIdonotwanttodisappointhimand—“

 

Thranduil shushed him, hearing him ramble. “Calm down, Erestor, and try again.”

 

Elrond’s heart grew heavy, seeing the self-doubt in Erestor’s swimming eyes. By the Grace of the Valar, coming here to ask for their advice was hard on their friend. Still, he remained quiet, listening closely instead.

 

“I do not know what to do,” said Erestor eventually, doing his best to maintain eye contract with his former protector.

 

Thranduil nodded in understanding. “You have never had a lover before,” he said, sighing. “I should have known.”

 

Elrond now felt even guiltier for never having pressed Erestor to tell him the truth about his past. Maybe then the younger Elf’s life wouldn’t have been so incredibly lonely. His heart twitched in his chest when Erestor finally found the courage to include him in his glance as well. The pleading expression in those dark eyes was so obvious that Elrond reached out and placed his hand on top of Thranduil’s, cradling both.

 

Erestor smiled, weakly. “I do not know what to do. I want to please him and I am afraid to disappoint him. What do I do?” Now that he had asked his questions he felt slightly calmer. “Can you give me some advice?”

 

“Advice...” Thranduil grinned encouragingly at his former charge. “What would you prefer? Us telling you what to expect or ask us questions instead?”

 

Erestor quickly averted his eyes. “I had hoped to catch Elrond alone. I never really counted on you being here as well.”

 

But Thranduil merely continued his grin. “There is a third option. We could –show- you.” However ridiculous it sounded, it did make sense. Seeing Elrond and him make love might take away Erestor’s fears. He still wondered how badly Eridhren had damaged Erestor. Was the younger Elf afraid to be intimate with Glorfindel, or was it just nervousness?

 

“-Show- him?” Elrond didn’t know if he should be amused or shocked. During these last few days his lover had undergone quite a transformation. Gone was the angry, insecure and doubt-driven Elf from his past, and instead a confident, playful mate had emerged

 

Erestor, who looked stricken, was lost for words. He must have misheard!

 

“Aye, show him. Elrond, it makes sense if you think about it.” Thranduil’s gaze shifted from Erestor to the half-Elf. In a barely audible tone he added, “Who knows how scared Erestor is after what his father did to him. In case you have forgotten, he was submitted to sexual abuse. It would be good for him to realize that sex is also caring and beautiful. He has only known pain and fear. Do you understand?”

 

In a weird way, Elrond did. He understood the point Thranduil was making. Nodding his head, he agreed to the proposal. Once they were focused on each other, they would quickly forget Erestor’s presence.

 

Thranduil placed a kiss on his lover’s brow and then looked at Erestor, whose big eyes told him how stunned the younger Elf was. “What do you say, mellon-nîn? Are you willing to learn by watching us? I will explain my actions as our lovemaking progresses and I promise you that you will learn how to please Glorfindel.”

 

Erestor couldn’t believe he was actually considering the King’s proposal. “But… but what about… This is personal, private. I cannot watch you… make love… I cannot.” He seriously doubted this was okay with Elrond. The half-Elf was probably only going along because Thranduil had asked him.

 

Elrond sensed some of Erestor’s worries and decided to ease them. “We are serious, Erestor. We would not mind if you watched us this one time.”

 

Erestor’s eyes darted wildly from Elrond to Thranduil. “I cannot do that.”

 

Thranduil decided to take charge. “Move your chair back toward the wall.” Erestor wouldn’t be comfortable being this close, but maybe if there was some distance between them, things might be easier for the younger Elf.

 

Erestor wavered, uncertain what to do. Two different needs were dueling inside him. He didn’t want to invade their privacy, but how else would he ever learn how to please his lover and keep his insecurities at bay? He was desperate not to disappoint Glorfindel. That last feeling won in the end, and he slowly did as Thranduil had said, pushing back his chair until there were several feet between him and the bed.

 

Thranduil, realizing he had to make slow, passionate and maddening love to Elrond, already looked forward to the challenge. Turning around, he shifted Elrond on the bed until Erestor had a good view of both of them. The half-Elf’s eyes had already darkened with expectation and he smiled lazily. “Always take your time to explore your lover’s body. Tease him with soft caresses, let your tongue taste his skin, and find all those places that make him scream.”

 

Just hearing those words had caused Elrond to grow painfully erect. Moaning, he allowed Thranduil to lay him down on the bed, and when the blond moved between his legs, he eagerly parted them.

 

Kneeling between his lover’s long legs, Thranduil bent forward, set on utterly possessing the half-Elf during their love making.

 

Erestor stared in disbelief at Thranduil, who was now kissing Elrond slowly, and had lured the half-Elf into parting his teeth. Then Thranduil enthusiastically dipped his tongue inside the warm, welcoming mouth.

 

Glorfindel and he had kissed before as well, but there had never been this intensity between them. His fears and self-doubt always kept him back. But looking at Thranduil now, he saw the passion and eagerness with which the golden-haired Elf devoured his lover’s mouth.

 

“Pay particular attention to his throat, neck, ears and eyes.” Lovingly, Thranduil placed tiny kisses on Elrond’s closed eyelids and then moved on to subtly suckle the flushed skin beneath his lover’s collarbone. Moving up, he nipped at an earlobe and ran his tongue along a pointed ear, causing the half-Elf to buck hard in need.

 

Erestor couldn’t help being fascinated by the sensual, wanton display. The certainty with which Thranduil explored Elrond’s body was something he had never witnessed before. It almost seemed like the elder Elf wasn’t worried in the least.

 

At first he had felt uncomfortable watching them, but now he saw the beauty in their movement, the kisses and caresses. Love radiated from their forms and all he could do was watch silently and listen to every word Thranduil panted between the caresses he now bestowed on his partner.

 

“Nipples are a delight to toy with,” continued Thranduil, moving lower. “You can do all kinds of delicious things to them.” Briefly he looked at Elrond, making sure his lover was enjoying himself during the lecture.

 

Elrond’s stormy eyes were dark with passion and he wished Thranduil would hurry and take him, but for Erestor’s sake he knew the blond would draw this out and only take him after a long preparation. This was going to be torment!

 

Erestor gasped softly, seeing Thranduil’s tongue swirl around an erect nipple, drawing delirious groans from Elrond’s lips.

 

“Treat them gently at first,” said Thranduil, truly enjoying himself whilst giving Erestor these pointers. One nipple twitched against his lips when he sucked gently and the other hardened even further, rolling the nub between his fingertips. “You might want to ask Glorfindel just how sensitive his nipples are.” Grinning at Elrond, he added, “Concentrating on them like this can make your lover come if you are not careful.”

 

Elrond trembled with need, and buried his fingers in the sheets, clawing at the material. Thranduil was driving him insane with lust!

 

“Once you have satisfied your curiosity, explore other areas as well.” Thranduil licked his lips, leaving a wet trail down Elrond’s abdomen. “But ignore his arousal for now.”

 

“Ai!” Elrond bucked, frustrated, when Thranduil licked the inside of his thighs, but blatantly ignored his throbbing erection. Closing his eyes, he resigned himself to this sweet and slow torment, realizing it would be some time before he found release.

 

Erestor vaguely wondered if Thranduil expected him to take notes, and smiled warmly for the first time since entering these rooms. A faint twinge of arousal warmed his veins as well, and although he appreciated their beauty, his passion was kept at bay by the realization that he only wanted to be with Glorfindel.

 

“Sometimes licking skin can really spark the fire,” whispered Thranduil, wickedly, licking the back of Elrond’s knees and then lowering himself to massage the half-Elf’s feet. “Touch your lover in whatever way you desire. As long as love accompanies your touch it will be eagerly accepted, even craved.” Teasingly, he let go of Elrond’s foot and sat back, watching his lover squirm and groan softly. “At this point he should be purring.”

 

Erestor smiled privately, hearing Elrond’s distressed whimpers and groans. Looking at them, he wondered which role Glorfindel would want him to adopt. The passive or the active one? Clearing his throat, he hesitantly formulated his question. “How do I know… if… my lover wants to do these things to me? Or if he wants me to do them to him?”

 

Thranduil nodded thoughtfully. At seeing Elrond’s distress, he resumed stroking those long legs. “When you are not very sure of his preference, simply ask. Glorfindel will answer you truthfully. Communication does make things easier.”

 

Elrond, getting fed up by being Thranduil’s test subject, sat up slightly and reached for his lover. “Aiya, do not leave me like this…”

 

Thranduil smiled reassuringly. “Erestor? Always carefully prepare your lover, and should you find yourself in Elrond’s position insist Glorfindel does the same thing for you. During your first time there might be some discomfort.”

 

Erestor mentally made a note and then watched, open-mouthed, as Thranduil reached for a small vial of oil. The golden-haired Elf coated a finger in the scented oil and then circled his lover’s entrance.

 

“First of all, be gentle.” Thranduil, still kneeling between the half-Elf’s legs, tenderly massaged the guardian ring, relaxing Elrond even further. “Don’t push inside… Slide inside…”

 

Elrond bit his bottom lip, feeling his lover’s probing finger easily slide inside. Now the torment had started to become agony. “Please touch me…”

 

“Always listen to your lover,” continued Thranduil, curling his fingers around the half-Elf’s erection and stroking the hard flesh slowly.

 

Erestor was now growing hot and wondered if this was the moment when he should discretely disappear, but he found he was fascinated, watching the two Elves.

 

“Make sure your lover does not climax yet. He will want you to be inside of him when he does…” Thranduil smiled at Elrond, who now pushed back onto his finger. “Don’t you, melamin?”

 

“Aye… You inside of me… Now…” Elrond continued to push down, but one finger was barely enough stimulation for him to find release.

 

“Crook your finger,” said Thranduil, “and explore. A gland is hidden inside his passage and when you find it…” He paused wickedly and brushed his lover’s sweet spot. “You will know.” Elrond yelped pitifully and wriggled on the bed.

 

Erestor now grinned, crooking his finger as well, realizing how much pleasure he could give Glorfindel by locating the gland Thranduil had mentioned.

 

“Now…now…now…” raved Elrond, far beyond thinking. His entire body hummed with need.

 

“Soon, nîn ind, soon.” Thranduil removed his finger and added more oil. Although Elrond was more than ready to be taken, he was going to do this by the book. “Add more oil and then return with two fingers.”

 

Elrond raised his hips in want, easily allowing his lover entry to his body. “Take me… Make me yours!”

 

Thranduil laughed warmly. “I am sorry, melamin. I know you are ready, but Erestor needs to learn how to do this without hurting Glorfindel or being hurt himself.”

 

Erestor blushed at hearing Thranduil’s words, and was once more reminded they were doing this for him. He should probably apologize to Elrond later, for making him suffer in this way.

 

“Move them inside the tight passage. You do not want to hurt him later.” Scissoring his fingers inside his lover’s heat, Thranduil stretched and prepared the half-Elf. He had stopped stroking his lover’s erection and watched Elrond arch his back and thrust in return. “So eager, nîn ind?”

 

“Aiya…” Elrond was panting hard. “Now… Now…”

 

“Not yet,” teased Thranduil. “Erestor? Add more oil and then slide three fingers inside.” Which he did. “If your lover can take those, he is ready.”

 

Elrond raised his hips, welcoming the solid pressure when three fingers slid inside his body. “Now? Nîn glaur, I am about come…”

 

“Ah, that presents us with two options.” Thranduil cast a quick look over his shoulder, watching Erestor briefly. The expression in the younger Elf’s eyes was admiring, even affectionate. The fact that they were willing to demonstrate this act must mean a lot to Erestor. After smiling reassuringly, he focused on his squirming lover once more.

 

“What…two… options?” Big-eyed, Elrond stared at his lover. For some reason those words worried him. What was the blond up to?

 

Thranduil lazily stroked his lover’s skin, letting his fingertips bestow feather light touches to Elrond’s abdomen. “You could let him come right now… That way he will be utterly relaxed when you take him, but… there is much pleasure in feeling him come when you are buried inside him. So, the question is; do we let him come now and then wait for him to grow hard so he can come again… or not?”

 

Elrond nearly cursed his lover. “Take me now! We are –not- waiting for me to grow hard again!” He wouldn’t endure more of this torment, not even for the sake of Erestor’s ‘education’.

 

“Always listen to your lover,” whispered Erestor, wondering when he had become this involved in their lovemaking.

 

Elrond sighed thankfully. “Erestor is right. That is what you said!”

 

Sighing dramatically, Thranduil’s green eyes twinkled with mischief, but in the end his own arousal made him humor his lover. Taking hold of the oil again, he applied a generous amount to his hard flesh. “You would be better to use too much than too little.”

 

Elrond grabbed some strands of Thranduil’s hair, forcing the blond to speed up. “Take me… now!” Thranduil’s blazing emerald eyes made him twitch in anticipation.

 

“Your lover should be relaxed by now,” resumed Thranduil, as he curled his fingers around his hard flesh. “But continue slowly.” Positioning himself at his lover’s entrance, he antagonizing slowly slid inside.

 

Elrond threw back his head, arched his back and relished the feel of Thranduil burying himself to the hilt effortlessly. Using his hold on the blond’s hair, he pulled Thranduil closer.

 

Thranduil was finding it increasingly difficult to teach Erestor the finesse of lovemaking. His tone was raw when he whispered, ”Always look into his eyes, Erestor, for they are the mirror of your lover’s soul.” Setting a slow and lazy rhythm, he supported his lover’s legs, whilst making passionate love to Elrond. For a few moments he lost himself in the thrusts, and all he knew was this incredibly slick heat engulfing him. “I love you, nîn ind,” he declared, kissing Elrond breathless.

 

Once more, Erestor wondered if he was supposed to leave now, but he couldn’t take his eyes of the two radiant being making such sweet and tender love. Instinctively, he knew that this was what making love should be like.

 

Elrond, unable to keep back any longer, came hard, spilling warm cream between their joined bodies.

 

Thranduil stopped thrusting, craving the sensations clenching his hot flesh. The spasms, caused by Elrond’s inner muscle, led him to his orgasm. Belatedly, he realized he should tell Erestor what this felt like, but he couldn’t be bothered, riding out tidal waves of passion instead.

 

Exhausted, Thranduil collapsed on top of his trembling lover. Hearing sounds behind him, he forced himself to say, “Stay, Erestor. We are not done yet.”

 

Erestor obediently settled down in his chair again. What else was there for him to learn?

 

Thranduil showered Elrond’s face with tender kisses and locked eyes with the half-Elf, smiling brightly. “I love you,” he repeated and devoured his lover’s words, when Elrond declared his love as well.

 

Pushing himself away from the half-Elf, he flexed his muscles and slowly pulled out of his lover’s body. “Be careful when you pull out, Erestor. You can actually hurt your lover when you act too rashly.” After easing out, he kissed Elrond again and rolled the half-Elf onto his side, away from Erestor. Spooning up behind Elrond, he said, “There might not be any need to talk, but I am sure your lover will eagerly listen to any compliments you wish to bestow on him. Hold him close; tell him how much you love him.”

 

Erestor nodded. After clearing his throat, he whispered in a shaky tone, “Thank you for sharing this with me. I never knew how wonderful and tender this act could be. I do not feel afraid any more.”

“Good,” Thranduil chuckled. “And that concludes your lesson. You should now practice on your own lover, Erestor.”

 

“I will,” said Erestor, feeling incredibly lightheaded and warm. After closing the door behind him, he leaned against the wall for support. His heart was racing with passion for Glorfindel, and if it were up to him, he would seduce the Elda right now. But Thranduil had taught him way more than just the actual act. The golden-haired Elf had taught him to always put his lover first. If he really wanted to follow through and seduce his lover tonight he needed to make preparations.

 

Hurrying down the corridor, he nearly broke out in song, for his heart was filled with more love than he had ever thought possible.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond laughed softly, feeling Thranduil’s lips pressed against the nape of his neck. “You enjoyed that.”

 

“Aye, I did,” admitted Thranduil, amused. “But I should apologize for drawing it out this much. I just wanted to make sure Erestor knew what to do.”

 

“Glorfindel will be a very happy Elf once Erestor finds enough courage to make love to him,” said Elrond, giddily.

 

“Uhm…” mused Thranduil, “You think Glorfindel will be on the receiving end?” Had he inspired Erestor to be the dominant one?

 

“I think so,” sighed Elrond, pleasantly tired. “Erestor now realizes just how much pleasure he can give Glorfindel and he will want to do just that.”

 

“Well, you did squirm nicely beneath my touch.” Thranduil gently suckled his lover’s skin, and then moved to nip at his slightly pointed ear.

 

“Aye, you made me squirm.” Elrond had seldom felt this sated before. “It was nice though; you making such slow love to me.”

 

Thranduil nodded, snuggling closer to his lover and pulling Elrond to his chest. They would clean up in a moment, but he wanted to savor this moment. “Maybe the next time we make love you can make me squirm?”

 

“Maybe. Do you think Erestor needs another lesson then?” teased Elrond. “You did forget to mention the variety of positions available to him.”

 

“Ah, but that was on purpose. Let him find out himself.” Thranduil grew serious. “I took you in this way, because Erestor will need eye contact with Glorfindel and therefore this was the only right position.” Stroking the long, dark hair, he deeply inhaled the half-Elf’s musky scent. “I love to see that expression in your eyes when you finally find release. This is quickly becoming my favorite position to make love in. What about you?”

 

“I like to feel you behind me… When I am on all fours and…” A huge yawn made it impossible for Elrond to finish. He blinked sleepily. No, this couldn’t be happening! He couldn’t go back to sleep! It was noon and work was piling in his study.

 

“I will keep that in mind,” promised Thranduil. His lover’s breathing was slowing down and he could tell the half-Elf was drained. “You are about to fall asleep again. Did I wear you out?”

“I think you did,” sighed Elrond, resigned. “But I cannot stay in bed all day long. There is so much work—“

 

Thranduil cut him short. “Why don’t you sleep for a few hours? I will ask Elrohir and Elladan to look at all pressing matters.”

 

“You cannot. Elrohir is at the Bruinen with Legolas, and Elladan…” Yawning again, he chuckled softly. “Elladan joined today’s patrol.”

 

“Then I will attend to these matters myself. But you should rest.” Running his fingers through the long, dark mane, he waited for Elrond to fall asleep. Once the half-Elf was sound asleep, he whispered, “Elrond, I love you so much that I can no longer live without you.” After pressing a kiss on the silk hair, he rose from the bed and tucked a warm blanket tightly around the half-Elf’s form.

 

After cleaning himself up and getting dressed again, he regretted leaving Elrond behind. He would have loved to hold the half-Elf in his sleep, but someone had to keep an eye on Imladris.

 

Closing the door behind him, he wondered how Legolas was doing. Elrohir and Legolas were spending the day at the Bruinen and he hoped his son was enjoying himself. He hated to see his youngest son full of sadness and sorrow. Hopefully Elrohir would be as good for Legolas as Elrond was for him.

 

TBC


	26. Chapter 26

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 26

 

 

Amused, Legolas watched Elrohir’s mental struggle. They had arrived at the Bruinen and were now removing their clothes so they could hold a swimming contest. It bemused Legolas to no end that Elrohir was now wading into the water with his leggings still on. Did the half-Elf plan to swim like that? Chuckling, he dropped his shirt and then called out, “Is that the way Imladris Elves swim? It would make more sense to remove those leggings as well!”

 

Elrohir looked over his shoulder and couldn’t help blushing. Shrugging awkwardly, he whispered, “I was not sure if that would make you uncomfortable.” He was knee deep in the water, which surprisingly was icy cold. Maybe this was a stupid idea and he should reconsider.

 

Legolas’ gaze darkened guiltily. Elrohir had kept his leggings on to make sure his guest was comfortable with the situation! Touched by the half-Elf’s concern he shuffled his feet. “I apologize for my words. They were spoken rashly.”

 

“Don’t apologize,” said Elrohir, shivering now that the cold crept up his body. He left the water and returned to Legolas’ side. “We do not have to go for a swim.”

 

Legolas’ eyes cleared of the guilty expression and the sparkle returned to them. “I want to swim, but not with any clothes still on.” Smiling at Elrohir, he added, “Do not worry. You are not my first naked Elf…” He couldn’t quite explain his mirth, but he felt giddy and free. He heavily suspected that it had to do with Elrohir’s presence. The mere fact that the half-Elf wasn’t trying to seduce him, made him want to trust Elrohir. It was good to know that the half-Elf didn’t want him in that way. Maybe they could become really good friends; he did like Elrohir.

 

Elrohir averted his eyes when Legolas removed his leggings. The golden-haired Elf was naked now and waded into the water, apparently unfazed by the cold. Then Elrohir shook his head. Legolas appeared unfazed because he was. Elves didn’t feel the cold. But being a half-Elf himself, he did feel uncomfortable in the icy water.

 

Sighing, resigned, he stepped out of his leggings as well and tried hard to ignore Legolas’ probing look, aimed at him. He had never felt self-conscious about his body and he refused to start now. He was handsome - enough maidens had assured him so - but this was different. His appearance paled in comparison to Legolas’ radiance. Shivering, he stepped into the water.

 

Legolas watched Elrohir and secretly admired the gorgeous, well-trained body the half-Elf possessed. The long, dark hair now hung in front of the handsome features, making it impossible for him to seek out the other’s eyes. “Why are you shivering?”

 

“The water is cold,” replied Elrohir, slowly lowering his upper body into the water. His nipples became painfully hard when the cold water touched them, but at least he wouldn’t have to worry about growing hard. The cold actually made his private parts move closer toward his body.

 

Legolas raised a delicately curved eyebrow. “Cold?”

 

Embarrassed, Elrohir shivered again. “I am half-Elven, in case you have forgotten. I do feel the cold.” And Elbereth help him if he caught a cold! That would not go down well with his father. Elrond had nursed Elladan back to health after his twin had nearly drowned in the river and they had been forced to listen to their father’s warning to stay away from cold water for years.

 

Legolas bit his lower lip, feeling he owed Elrohir another apology. What was wrong with him? Why wasn’t he paying more attention? Maybe it was because he felt so comfortable around Elrohir that he was letting down his guard, which seldom happened; usually only when either his father or Valthoron were close.

 

“Just don’t,” said Elrohir through gritted teeth, realizing Legolas was about to apologize –again-. He dived beneath the surface of the water, trying to bite down the cold. Rising again, he threw back his head, causing his long, black hair to cling to his back.

 

Something inside Legolas stirred, seeing the half-Elf soaking wet like that. Droplets of water clung to the long tresses and others slid down the agile young body. Confused, Legolas dived beneath the water as well, swimming several feet under water. He needed a moment to sort out his feelings and thoughts.

 

Although a large number of Elves had tried to gain his interest, he had dismissed all of them after realizing that they were only interested in either his appearance or his position as the youngest Prince of Mirkwood. Some of his suitors had hoped to gain power and influence by courting him and that realization had saddened him and had made him feel utterly alone.

 

And now, suddenly, here was Elrohir Half-Elven, son of Elrond. Elrohir radiated calm, patience and understanding and did absolutely nothing to gain his favor, which was quite a relief. All he desired was to befriend the half-Elf.

 

But was that really true?

 

/If I only want him as my friend, then why did I react like that just now? I admired his body; I like his disposition and he appears to genuinely want to be my friend. Am I now disappointed that he is not trying to gain my favor? Can it be that –I- want him to be interested in –me-? That would be a first!/

 

Others always lusted after him! He didn’t lust after others! But Elrohir…

 

Legolas reached the surface and looked about in search of the half-Elf.

 

 

The sight Legolas presented took Elrohir’s breath away. Stunned into silent admiration, he followed the path the droplets were taking down the golden-haired Elf's body. He would gladly give everything he possessed to be one of those droplets. He had already been in love with Legolas, but now it actually felt like his heart would break.

 

“Race you to that tree over there,” called out Legolas, obviously enjoying himself so much that he completely missed the look of utter admiration on the half-Elf’s face.

 

“I accept your challenge!” Elrohir was eager to prove himself to Legolas. He hoped he would win and therefore impress the flaxen-haired Elf. Throwing himself into the water, he swam quickly.

 

Legolas laughed, amused, and followed.

 

They reached the tree at exactly the same time. The contest was a draw, much to Elrohir’s disappointment. “Maybe we should try archery instead.”

 

“Ah, you will most certainly lose.” Legolas smiled warmly, hoping to lighten any sting his words might provoke. “Let us do away with the contests then, for it seems we are evenly matched.”

 

Now that Elrohir was standing still, the chill crept into his very bones. “Would you mind leaving the water? I am cold.”

 

Legolas instantly inclined his head. “How inconsiderate of me. Come, let us sit in the warm sun and let it dry our skin.”

 

Elrohir felt intensely grateful that the icy water stopped him from growing aroused, seeing Legolas leave the water. The Elf had reached his clothes and now bent forward, picking them up. Even in spite of the cold engulfing him, Elrohir felt heat stir in his groin. Everything about Legolas was just perfect. Too perfect. A beautiful Elf like Legolas couldn’t possibly be interested in him!

 

/Are you sure?/ whispered a tiny voice in the back of his head. /Thranduil chose your father for his lover and Elrond is half-Elven as well. Do you really think your heritage makes a difference?/

 

Elrohir sighed; he had to agree with this annoying voice. Thranduil had taken his father for a lover, so maybe Legolas would be inclined to give him a chance as well?

 

Looking over his shoulder, Legolas caught Elrohir’s gaze with his. The expression in the half-Elf’s eyes almost took his breath away. Something about the look in those dark eyes made him blush and he quickly turned away. /This cannot be happening. All these decades others have wanted me, and I now want Elrohir?/ He had never really been in love before, too cautious around everyone who seemed to adore him, and now he found himself in his suitors’ position. Now he knew how it felt to crave something he couldn’t have, and for once he wished that the half-Elf would make a move on him. But so far Elrohir hadn’t given any sign that the interest could be mutual.

 

It was ironic,-mused Legolas-, that he would fall in love with the one person who didn’t chase after him. Life was cruel.

 

Suddenly Elrohir sneezed. Legolas, surprised, looked at the half-Elf and found Elrohir shivering. His companion had already slipped into his leggings and tunic, but as his skin was still wet, the now-damp clothes did little to fight off the cold.

 

Elrohir cursed privately, realizing he had contracted a cold after all. /Great./ Now his father would fuss over him. Unexpectedly, a hand settled on his back and a warm voice drifted into his ears.

 

“Did you catch a cold? I know humans get colds, and you did sneeze…” Legolas’ voice faded away in concern. When Elrohir’s gaze met his, it felt as if the air between them sizzled with energy and he barely refrained from pulling back and thus breaking contact.

 

“Don’t tell my father the water was too cold. He will lecture me and then confine me to bed.” Shivers spiraled down his spine and he wished he had taken a cloak with him to wrap around him. But he had left his warm cloak behind, thinking he wouldn’t need it.

 

A shy smile surfaced on Legolas’ face. “My father is like that too.” Thranduil had become a mother hen after Aewithôn had left for the Undying Lands. “You can trust me to keep quiet. But I doubt that will make a difference if you…” He had to pause because Elrohir sneezed again, “If you continue to sneeze.”

 

Elrohir shot him a thankful look. “I will just excuse myself for dinner.” The cold would pass in a few days. All he had to do was to lie low - and maybe Legolas would be willing to help him avoid running into Elrond? He stifled a moan of regret, when Legolas removed his hand from his back. He had liked the blond’s touch, even when the fabric from his tunic had kept it from feeling intimate.

 

He was surprised again when something heavy was draped across his shoulders. His eyes widened slightly, realizing Legolas had wrapped his cloak around him. “But…”

 

Legolas interrupted the half-Elf. “Elrohir, I do not feel the cold like you do. I do not need the cloak.” He hoped Elrohir accepted this gesture. It was a strange sensation, taking care of someone. Usually people tried to take care of him and he liked the reversed roles. “Let me escort you back to your rooms. You should be in a warm bed and resting.”

 

/In a warm bed with you keeping me in your arms,/ thought Elrohir, blissfully, surprised that Legolas cared enough to look after him. Pulling the heavy cloak closer around his body, he deeply inhaled the Elf’s scent. Legolas smelled of the forest, pine and cinnamon; a truly lovely combination. “Thank you,” he whispered softly, not trusting his voice. “I will return it to you shortly.”

 

Legolas’ smile broadened and experimentally he folded an arm around the half-Elf’s shoulder. It was a strange sensation, when Elrohir trembled against him, but he contributed it to the cold. Maybe his body heat would help warm his chilled companion.

 

But Elrohir’s trembling wasn’t only just because of the cold. He had a hard time believing Legolas had reached out to touch him, to fold an arm around him. Almost, he slipped, as he was about to lean into the touch, but he quickly caught himself. He couldn’t do that. His father was right; Legolas and he had to become friends first.

 

“Hopefully we won’t run into my father or yours,” said Elrohir, thoughtfully. “I do not want to spend the rest of the day in bed.”

 

“It might be best though,” remarked Legolas, “At least make sure you stay warm.”

 

Elrohir nodded absentmindedly. /As long as you stay close I will stay warm./ The thought brought a blush to his face and he hoped Legolas attributed the flush to the cold.

 

Seeing Elrohir’s face grow flustered, Legolas sped up. “I will take you to your rooms and please, rest?”

 

Elrohir stared at Legolas, hearing the blond say ‘please’. Aiya, he would do everything the other Elf wanted. He was about to reassure Legolas that he would be fine, when an unexpected round of coughing tormented his lungs. By the Grace of the Valar, this was quickly becoming worse!

 

“To bed with you, now!” Legolas shooed him into the Last Homely House, and recalling the route to the twins’ rooms, he pulled Elrohir into the next corridor.

 

Not really looking where he was going, Elrohir bumped into a warm, soft body.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Glorfindel, who had just taken a bath and was now in the process of finishing getting dressed, looked up in surprise when Erestor entered. He blinked; was his lover really humming and hopping toward him? And was what that inane smile doing on his face? He couldn’t remember ever seeing Erestor that cheerful. Before he knew what was happening, he found himself with an armful of raven-haired Elf.

 

“Erestor?” he whispered, pleasantly surprised. He couldn’t help return Erestor’s giddy smile. What had caused this change in his normally so listless, timid lover?

 

But Erestor didn’t seem inclined to answer verbally. Instead, his lover claimed his lips in a hot, passionate kiss, which sent warm vibrations through his body, pooling in his groin. “Melamin?” He panted the endearment, wondering if he was really holding Erestor in his arms or a double. “Is it really you?”

 

Erestor nodded, quickly, and then touched his lips to Glorfindel’s. He wasn’t going to let his lover ruin this by talking! He wanted to make the best of this moment!

 

Erestor’s mirth and passion was quickly overwhelming Glorfindel and he regretted pulling away to address his lover. “It is almost time for dinner.”

 

Sighing regretfully, Erestor stared dotingly at his flaxen-haired lover. “Must we join them for dinner?”

 

“I am afraid so. I could think of more pleasant things to do, like continuing to kiss you, but our presence was requested by Elrond and Thranduil.”

 

Erestor suddenly realized that this invitation ruined his plans for tonight. He couldn’t make all the necessary arrangements when stuck at the dinner table. His smile faded slightly, but then he took heart again, knowing tomorrow would be another day, another chance. This didn’t have to happen tonight. He would wait for the right opportunity to present itself.

 

“We should not keep them waiting,” said Glorfindel, straightening his robes. “I do not want to let go of you. I have never seen you this alive before. I do not know what caused this change, but I welcome it wholeheartedly!”

 

Erestor looked down at his robes. “Do you think I need to change?” He thought he still looked rather respectable, considering the scene he had just witnessed.

 

Glorfindel took Erestor’s hand in his and guided his lover to the dressing table. “You look breathtaking, but then you always do. Would you braid my hair? It is a tangled mess.”

 

Erestor lovingly combed the wet, golden tresses and then began to braid them. “I loved it when you braided my hair,” he admitted, feeling shy again, but the radiant smile remained on his face. “No one ever braided my hair before.”

 

Glorfindel smiled, warmly. “Then I will do it again the next time you wash your hair.”

 

Erestor blushed. Leaning in closer, he swept away a plait and pressed his lips against the nape of his lover’s neck. “I love you, nîn bellas.”

 

Glorfindel’s smile brightened, turning around to face his lover. “I love you too.” Brushing a stray behind Erestor’s pointed ear, he got to his feet again and led his lover to the doorway. “Maybe we can take another one of those steps we discussed earlier after dinner?”

 

Erestor immediately knew what Glorfindel was referring to. Recalling the passionate lovemaking he had just witnessed, he nodded fervently. “Aye, I think I am ready to take the next step.”

 

Glorfindel brought his lover’s hand to his lips and placed a kiss on it. The reason completely eluded Glorfindel, but in a way, his lover seemed changed. And it was for the better.

 

As they walked down the corridor they were so lost in another’s eyes, that they didn’t notice the party heading towards them, until it was too late.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The breath was knocked out of Elrohir’s lungs when he accidentally bumped into Erestor. The advisor instinctively caught and steadied him, at which Elrohir mumbled, “Thank you. Sorry, I was not looking where I was going.”

 

Erestor’s eyes knowingly swept from Elrohir to Legolas. The blush on his former student’s face had given Elrohir away. /So he really fancies Legolas?/ His former suspicions were now confirmed and he wondered if Elrond and Thranduil knew, but he still wasn’t inclined to inform the two Elf-Lords. “No harm was done, pen-neth.”

 

Elrohir tried to stop himself from sneezing but failed miserably.

 

Erestor raised an eyebrow questioningly and his gaze settled on Legolas. “What happened?”

 

“We went swimming in the Bruinen,” supplied Legolas.

 

Glorfindel shook his head in disapproval. “We have talked to you about this before. You were an Elfling then and I thought you had learned your lessen. Your father will not be pleased to learn you have caught a cold.”

 

Elrohir hung his head in defeat. “Please do not tell him. I will go to bed and keep warm, but do not tell him. I do not want to worry him.”

 

Erestor’s thoughts raced. Maybe he still had a chance to make his plans for tonight work. Addressing Glorfindel he said, “Why don’t you head for the dining room ahead whilst I deal with Elrohir?”

 

Glorfindel felt suspicious at hearing those words, but he couldn’t quite explain why. Well, maybe Erestor just wanted a word in private with Elrohir. “I will meet you there. Hurry.” Ignoring Elrohir’s giggling and Legolas’ gasp, he kissed Erestor. “Don’t make me wait. I am hungry.”

 

Erestor watched his lover leave and then turned to Elrohir. “I should not do this, but I will refrain from telling your father -if-…”

 

“If what?” Elrohir asked, eagerly. He would do anything to keep his stupid mistake from his father.

 

Erestor cleared his throat, suddenly no longer certain of himself. After glancing apoplectically at Legolas, he addressed Elrohir once more. “If you go to Glorfindel’s room and take care of some matters for me.”

 

“What matters?” Elrohir’s eyes had narrowed. What was Erestor up to?

 

“I want you to put scented candles around the bed, but be careful you do not start a fire, pen-neth. Wait until after dinner to light them. I want tonight to be… romantic,” he added, hesitantly.

 

Elrohir smirked. “Candles… I think we can do that. I take it Glorfindel does not know about your plans?”

 

“We?” asked Legolas, feigning surprise. Secretly he looked forward to being partners in crime with Elrohir.

 

“Legolas, you -must- help me!” Elrohir’s eyes widened when another sneeze announced itself. “I hate having a cold,” he whispered, miserably. But as he looked at Erestor, his smug grin returned. “Anything else you want us to do?”

 

Erestor nervously shuffled his feet. “I do not know. What else is considered romantic?”

 

Elrohir’s smugness faded, realizing Erestor had never done something like this before. “Why don’t you leave this in our –capable- hands?”

 

“Capable?” echoed Legolas, bemused. His stay in Imladris was getting more interesting with every passing moment!

 

“Aye, capable.” Elrohir teasingly poked Legolas in his stomach. “Play along. I do not want my father to find out about my cold and we can do this for Erestor. He deserves our help!”

 

Legolas nodded. “Aye, capable hands it is.”

 

Erestor shook his head, smiling at them. “Thank you for doing this for me.” Elrohir suddenly lunged for him and Erestor found himself buried in a warm hug. The ‘old’ Erestor would have frozen in Elrohir’s arms, but now he felt comfortable and hugged him back. “Thank you for everything, pen-neth.”

 

Elrohir pulled back, smiling brilliantly. “Put your trust in us. We won’t let you down. Good old Glorfindel won’t know what has hit him when he enters his rooms.” Signaling for Legolas to follow him, he guided the blond to Glorfindel’s rooms.

 

Erestor watched them go and hoped they wouldn’t overdo it. The last thing he wanted was to scare Glorfindel away.

 

Turning around, he straightened his robes and resumed his walk to the dining room.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond and Thranduil had already seated themselves and watched curiously as Glorfindel entered alone. “Where is your shadow?” asked Elrond, teasingly.

 

Glorfindel, still a bit dazed, sat down and stared at Elrond. “I do not know what happened, but he dashed into the room and… he was laughing. He was giddy! I have never seen him like that before.”

 

Elrond and Thranduil exchanged a knowing gaze. “I take it you approve of this change?” asked Thranduil.

 

“Aye, I do, but… I do not understand.”

 

“Then stop trying to understand,” advised Elrond, “And simply accept that he is getting better. Thanks to your love and support his heart is filled with joy and affection. Welcome it.”

 

“I do,” whispered Glorfindel, chuckling softly. “I just wonder what to expect next.”

 

At that moment Erestor entered the room and seated himself next to Glorfindel. He noticed the curious looks all three Elves were giving him, but he ignored them. “What is for dinner? I am hungry.” For the first time in ages he really felt hungry.

 

“Duck,” said Elrond, amused. Leaning in closer to Thranduil, he whispered words that were only intended for his lover’s ears. “You were right, nîn glaur. Glorfindel will be a very happy Elf.”

 

Glorfindel, who had only heard Elrond say his name, looked up, puzzled. Seeing the glance Elrond threw at him, he wondered in what kind of trouble he was. His instincts told him this was about Erestor, and looking at the advisor, he found that the dark eyes were twinkling with mischief. That heavenly sight made his heart miss a beat. /I love you so much, nîn amdir, but I wonder what you are up to - and why do I feel like it involves me?/

 

TBC


	27. Chapter 27

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 27

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Note; I know that due to canon Elrohir can't catch a cold, or rather I chill. So I wanted to stress (as Ilye advised me) to say that Elrohir's chill isn't according to canon.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

Elrohir cursed privately as another violent cough squeezed the air from his lungs. A warm hand settled against his back and he smiled apologetically at Legolas. “Sorry for ruining the day. It was not my intention to contract a cold.”

 

“Do not worry about it,” said Legolas reassuringly. They were on their way to Glorfindel’s rooms to keep up their part of the bargain. They had agreed to create a romantic atmosphere in the seneschal’s rooms in turn for Erestor’s silence. Feeling like an Elfling again, Legolas grinned. “What items do you reckon we need to ‘decorate’ the rooms with? How romantic does Erestor want them?”

 

A similarly wicked grin surfaced on Elrohir’s face, which was growing hotter due to his rising temperature. “Romantic? We should go for seductive instead.”

 

Elrohir laughed warmly, as the reached Glorfindel’s rooms. “After you, my fair Prince.”

 

Legolas quickly hurried inside, hoping Elrohir hadn’t seen his nervousness at hearing the half-Elf call him fair. He composed himself again and studied the luxurious rooms. “We will need candles. Lots of them,” he mused aloud.

 

“And flowers. Roses, preferably.” Elrohir nodded absentmindedly. “I do not want to head outside again and you do know where the gardens are. Would you supply the roses?”

 

“Of course.” Legolas didn’t want Elrohir to step out into the open either, afraid the half-Elf’s cold might worsen. “Is there anything else you want me to bring?”

 

“Wine… Glasses… Maybe some fruits or sweets?” A plan was forming in Elrohir’s mind. Oh, he would make sure Erestor was pleased with him. This would make perfect blackmail material someday.

 

“I will bring those items as well,” said Legolas, moving toward the doorway. “And aye, I also know where the kitchen is,” he said before Elrohir could ask anything. He recalled the incident with the rabbit and hoped the animal was relishing its freedom. “I will be back in a few minutes.”

 

“Take your time,” whispered Elrohir in a thoughtful tone.

 

Turning around, he scanned the room with his eyes. It definitely had potential, and with candles and roses added, things would look even more inviting. He looked over his shoulder, realized Legolas was gone already, and returned to stare at the bed. Oh, he would love to share a bed, whatever bed, with the blond!

 

He was about to release a tormented sigh when a sneeze unexpectedly shook his frame. This chill would confine him to bed eventually -- but not yet. First, he wanted to spend as much time as possible with Legolas.

 

/The bed…/ Glorfindel’s sheets were soft, but not perfect for lovemaking. His father had a lovely collection of sheets made of the finest, purest silk. /I doubt he will miss a set./

 

Elrohir headed for his father’s rooms, where he collected two sheets and coverlets. Priding himself on not having been caught, he headed for Glorfindel’s rooms once more. Calling out to a servant, he asked her to deliver scented candles to the seneschal’s rooms and did his best to ignore her curious expression.

 

Stepping into Glorfindel’s rooms again, he found that Legolas had returned as well. Dozens of roses lay on the table and next to the flowers stood a tray with wine, goblets and sweets. “Perfect,” commented Elrohir, beginning to change the sheets.

 

“We could crush some rose petals so they will release their fragrances and then spread the rest across the floor and bed. That way Erestor and Glorfindel do not have to worry about thorns.”

 

“That is an excellent idea!” Elrohir finished changing the sheets and straightened the fabric. He grinned madly; Erestor and Glorfindel wouldn’t know what hit them! Pleased, he turned around and helped Legolas separate the petals. “Maybe we could create a private setting near the fireplace?”

 

Legolas nodded. “There is already a pile of blankets and pillows tucked away in that corner. All you have to do is spread them over the floor.”

 

“I will do just that.” Elrohir positioned the blankets and pillows to his liking and then scattered a few handfuls of rose petals over the area. Hearing someone knock on the door, he reckoned it was the servant bringing the candles. After opening the door, he selected a few sweetly scented candles and placed them around the bed.

 

Legolas had finished removing the petals, but had saved three particularly beautiful roses and now placed them on the pillows. “They are too lovely to ruin,” mused Legolas aloud. Dreamily, he scattered the rose petals all over the bed and the floor. After collecting some scented candles, he placed them on the nightstand. “I will open the window and let the breeze in. Ithil shines exceptionally bright tonight.” He was starting to feel romantic himself, and wished he had someone to share his bed with.

 

Looking at Elrohir, he sighed, feeling melancholy. His heart was growing heavier with each passing day. Elrohir had managed to unlock his heart and for the first time in his life he wasn’t afraid to share it with someone. But Elrohir didn’t want him in that way. Another miserable sigh wrestled free from his lips as the moon’s light illuminated the room.

 

His attention was drawn to Elrohir when the half-Elf sneezed again. His companion was shivering all over his body and his brow was covered in sweat. “You should be in bed.” Growing concerned, he advanced on the half-Elf. “How much longer until they finish dinner?”

 

“Ten more minutes, I think.” Elrohir pulled Legolas’ cloak even closer and inhaled the blond’s scent. “We should light the candles.” He doubted something would go wrong in those few minutes after they had had left.

 

Together they lit the candles and after one last, pleased look at the rooms, they headed for the doorway.

 

“Let us get out of here before they return.” Elrohir had no desire to watch his former tutors seduce each other. Shivering, he began to long for his warm, comfortable bed. “I hope Erestor appreciates what we did for him.”

 

Legolas, concerned at seeing the tremors grow worse, wrapped an arm around Elrohir’s shoulders, hoping that the half-Elf would benefit from his body heat.

 

Elrohir, nervous, wondered what Legolas thought of him; a half-Elf, contracting a cold! Being ill was an alien concept to the blond.

 

Legolas walked Elrohir to his rooms and when they reached the door, he felt reluctant to part with his companion. He wanted to make sure Elrohir was safe and warmly tucked beneath the blankets.

 

As he entered his rooms, Elrohir frowned, making sure his features were hidden from Legolas’ view by letting his hair fall in front of his face. The blond was still close -- why?

 

“Why don’t you slip into a sleeping robe?” suggested Legolas, who now headed toward the bed to push down the covers.

 

“Uh?” Elrohir stuttered incoherently. Legolas had reached the closet, selected a warm, brown sleeping robe and handed it to him.

 

“Go change.”

 

Elrohir simply accepted the sleeping robe and feeling strangely prudish, he disappeared into the bathroom where he changed his clothes.

 

Legolas watched him go with a grin on his face. He hadn’t thought Elrohir was that shy! But then again, the half-Elf had wanted to keep his leggings on when they had gone swimming.

 

Elrohir returned a moment later, clad in the sleeping robe. His hair was a tangled mess after undoing his braids, as he was too tired to brush it. All he wanted was to lie down and rest.

 

Legolas watched Elrohir carefully. “Lie down.”

 

Elrohir obeyed; he didn’t want to fight Legolas anyway. Lying down, he allowed Legolas to tuck him in.

 

“Is there anything you need?” Worried, Legolas placed his head on Elrohir’s brow. Hissing in surprise, he pulled back his hand. “You feel hot. Maybe it would be best if we told your father.”

 

“I will be all right,” said Elrohir reassuringly. He pressed deeper into the comfort of the mattress, relishing the warmth that now surrounded him. “I just need to drink lots of water.”

 

Legolas’ eyes scanned the room, trying to locate a carafe filled with drinking water, but failed. “I will fetch you some from the kitchen.” Halfway to the doorway, he looked over his shoulder and said, “What about hot tea? Would that help?”

 

Shivering, Elrohir nodded. “It did the last time.”

 

“I will be back with water and tea then.” And he would add some bread, which Elrohir could soak in the tea in case he grew hungry.

 

Elrohir closed his eyes when Legolas left, thankful that the blond would return shortly. Having a chill wasn’t that bad when Legolas was near.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor couldn’t help growing slightly nervous during dinner. He wondered if trusting Elrohir and Legolas had been an intelligent thing to do. Only Elbereth knew what those two younger Elves were up to. If they wanted to, they could hugely embarrass him. Sighing worriedly, he wondered in what state Glorfindel’s rooms would be in upon their return.

 

Glorfindel… As he looked at his lover, a now familiar and sensual tingling spread through his groin. After watching Elrond and Thranduil make love he ached for the blond’s touch. Wasn’t it yet time to return to their rooms? Having to wait was driving him crazy.

 

Suddenly Glorfindel’s hand settled on his knee beneath the table, gently squeezing it. The worry and questions in Glorfindel’s eyes were obvious, but Erestor just shook his head. No, they couldn’t discuss this now!

 

Glorfindel was becoming increasingly worried where his lover was concerned. Erestor’s face was flustered and the big, dark eyes seemed too large, too intense. He just knew something troubled Erestor. “Shall we return to my rooms?” he whispered, concerned. Hearing Elrond chuckle, he glanced at the half-Elf. It didn’t seem appropriate for Elrond to be chuckling when Erestor felt nervous.

 

“Aye, let us do that,” whispered Erestor, his voice unsteady with anticipation.

 

Glorfindel pushed back his chair and got to his feet. Extending his hand, he waited for his lover to place his in it, and then guided Erestor out of the dining room and into the corridor, heading for his quarters. “What is wrong, nîn amdir?”

 

“Wrong?” Erestor grinned giddily at his lover. “Nothing is wrong. For the very first time in my life everything is right!”

 

Puzzled, Glorfindel pulled his lover close, wrapping an arm around Erestor’s waist. “Are you sure?” Seeing Erestor nod, he sighed. “It is just… I have never seen you this… happy before. Are you truly happy, then?”

 

“More than happy,” Erestor said reassuringly.

 

Glorfindel involuntarily held his breath when Erestor leaned in closer. Expecting to be kissed on the lips, he grinned, when his lover gently kissed the tip of his nose. “I am not complaining, mind you. I could get used to this more playful side of yours.”

 

Erestor beamed with bliss, hearing his lover’s words. “And this is just the beginning,” he hinted mysteriously.

 

Glorfindel arched an eyebrow. “The beginning? Do you have more plans for tonight then?” By the way Erestor was moving in his arms, it almost felt like his lover was rubbing himself against his body. The manipulation was successful; he was growing hard.

 

“Aye, I have plans for tonight.” Erestor let his voice trail off and held his breath, opening the door to Glorfindel’s rooms. /Please, Elrohir, do not let me down. I trusted in you to.../ Unable to finish that thought, he trembled with delight, seeing the romantic atmosphere, which Elrohir and Legolas had created. /Thank you, pyn-neth./ He stepped aside to let Glorfindel enter and carefully watched the blond’s reaction.

 

Glorfindel needed a moment to take in the stunning sight. The candles had filled the room with warm, sweet fragrances and a moonbeam illuminated the three red, long-stemmed roses resting on the pillow. Turning around to face his lover, everything suddenly fell into place. “Elrohir and Legolas.”

 

Erestor shuffled his feet. “Aye, they did this when we were having dinner.” Taking in his surroundings more carefully, he walked toward the bed. His fingertips caressed the silk sheets, encountering soft rose petals. “Are these sheets yours?”

 

Glorfindel laughed warmly, recognizing them. “They are Elrond’s!”

 

Erestor chuckled as well, wondering what had possessed Elrohir to plunder his father’s linen closet. “But they do feel nice.” Another fingertip slid along the soft, inviting fabric.

 

Glorfindel cocked his head to study his lover extensively. He couldn’t remember ever seeing Erestor this relaxed, this much at peace with himself. “Lirimaer?” After walking over to the dark-haired beauty, he folded his arms around his lover’s waist. “Why did you arrange this?” He thought he already knew the answer, but wanted Erestor to say the words.

 

“Because I want to make love to you,” replied Erestor, blushing. “You mentioned taking small steps, but I feel so comfortable around you that I want to…” Pausing, he searched for the right words. “I want to completely bind myself to you.”

 

Glorfindel’s eyes were soft, warm and radiated love. Had his lover been nervous and afraid, he would never have consented to this, but now he was actually considering giving in. “You want to make love with me?” Not even in his wildest dreams had he expected Erestor to take the lead in this.

 

Erestor recalled Thranduil’s advice to ask Glorfindel about his preferences concerning lovemaking. After clearing his throat, he whispered, “I do not really know how to say this, but… What would you prefer? Me taking you or…?” Peeking shyly at Glorfindel, he squirmed when the blond tightened his hold on him, pulling him close enough to kiss.

 

Glorfindel searched Erestor’s eyes and thought he saw his lover’s real needs. “Tell me what –you- want.” It would be best if Erestor took him, as the dark-haired Elf had literally no experience when it came down to lovemaking. After all the abuse Erestor had suffered, he wanted to empower him.

 

“What –I- want?” Erestor averted his eyes and then rested his head against Glorfindel’s shoulder. “I want to give you pleasure and…” He couldn’t possibly tell the blond he had watched Elrond and Thranduil make love! But then again, his lover might wonder about this sudden desire to take him.

 

“You want to make love to me, to take me,” supplied Glorfindel. He felt the nod against his shoulder and smiled. Until now he had always been the dominant one in his relationships, but for Erestor, he would do anything. All he wanted was to make his lover happy. “Then take me, meleth-nîn.”

 

Suddenly Erestor’s head jerked back, staring at him in disbelief. “What?” questioned Glorfindel, “You did not think I would let you take me?”

 

“I thought you would prefer to take me.” Erestor nervously moistened his lips. “I have never done this before and you have.”

 

“Feel free to explore then. I am still your more than willing subject.” Glorfindel slid one hand up Erestor’s back and cradled the nape of his lover’s neck in his palm. “Do whatever you want to me.”

 

Erestor swallowed, nervously. “Are you sure? And please remember the promise you made; tell me when I make you uncomfortable.”

 

Glorfindel nodded, smiled, and claimed his lover’s lips, hoping Erestor would take the hint to assume control of the situation.

 

Erestor cautiously brought his arms up behind Glorfindel’s back, always keeping in mind that he wanted to give his lover as much pleasure as possible. Taking the lead was something he had never done before, but with Glorfindel it seemed almost natural. The blond leaned into his touch and the kiss deepened. Growing bolder, he slowly parted his lover’s lips and rejoiced when the Elda eagerly parted his teeth. His tongue slid into a welcoming moist heat and the sensation was almost enough to make him faint.

 

Erestor trembled in his arms and a smile surfaced on Glorfindel’s face. Never before had he felt such passion, need and want when being with a lover. When Erestor briefly broke the kiss, he whispered, “I love you.” He took hold of one of the long-stemmed roses and ran the soft petals along Erestor’s jaw line, relishing the tremors the caress brought forth.

 

Erestor, carefully staying away from the candles, guided his lover to the bed and then laid him down, stroking wayward blond locks behind a pointed ear. “I love you more than life itself.” Gathering his courage, he straddled his lover’s hips, looking down at the blond in rapture. “You are my soul. The very spirit that keeps me alive.”

 

Glorfindel smiled warmly, raised a hand and let his fingers tangle in the dark locks. “And you are my heart.”

 

Erestor began to unbutton his lover’s robes. Delighted, he found that Glorfindel had the same idea and was now slowly undressing him. Always maintaining eye contact, Erestor leaned in closer to kiss his lover’s lips, whilst the blond slid his robes down his shoulders. Smiling, Erestor took hold of the Elda’s hand and placed it against his warm chest.

 

Glorfindel had stopped trying to understand the change that had taken place in Erestor and simply accepted the warmth and pleasure given to him. Sliding his hand down the dark-haired Elf’s abdomen, he undid the laces to his lover’s leggings.

 

Erestor briefly sat back, removed the annoying clothing and dropped the leggings and robes onto the floor. Although he was completely naked now, he still felt comfortable. Glorfindel’s loving and appreciative glance caressing his body actually made him feel cockier. “You are still wearing too many clothes.”

 

Glorfindel sat upright and shrugged off his robes. He then allowed his lover to remove his leggings, freeing his erection from its confines. He closely eyed Erestor, still alert in case any unease or discomfort shone from his lover’s dilated pupils. Somehow, he had imagined their first time very differently; Erestor being timid and having to be coaxed into touching him. What he hadn’t expected was this eagerness.

 

Both were naked now and, recalling Thranduil’s words, Erestor took his time to slide his fingers over his lover’s skin. Straddling his lover’s hips, he smiled, feeling the blond’s arousal press against his buttocks. The absence of fear was liberating and he bowed forward, eagerly caressing Glorfindel’s skin with his lips.

 

He started by licking down Glorfindel’s throat, chest and playfully swirling his tongue around a hardened nipple. Absentmindedly, he made a mental note to thank Elrond and Thranduil for their demonstration. Glorfindel arched beneath him, lifted a hand and played with his black locks. “You… are… so… beautiful.” Every word was accompanied by a passionate kiss delivered to the blond’s flat abdomen.

 

Glorfindel was glad he was lying down, for he was afraid his knees would have buckled beneath him, hearing those words and feeling butterfly kisses against his abdomen. Erestor’s tongue had continued down its path and was now licking the inside of his thigh. He hoped his lover would also treat other places of his body to the same procedure, but the raven-haired Elf stayed clear of his arousal.

 

Feeling some of his lover’s disappointment, Erestor pleadingly locked gazes with the blond. “I cannot pleasure you like that. I am sorry, but it brings back memories.” He had entertained the thought of taking Glorfindel into his mouth, but long forgotten memories had threatened to return when he imagined bestowing a lick on his lover’s hard flesh.

 

Glorfindel’s features contorted, feeling ashamed and guilty for not keeping in mind how his lover had suffered in the past. “You do not have to.”

 

“Thank you,” whispered Erestor, willing his father’s face to leave his mind. This was not the moment to remember the abuse. Seeing Glorfindel was about to sit upright, he decided to take the lead again; he didn’t want the blond to end their lovemaking because of this incident.

 

Glorfindel tried to stop Erestor, but suddenly his lover’s fingers curled around his throbbing erection and he fell back onto the bed, completely surrendering to his lover’s touch. Pushing his body into the comfort of the mattress, he squirmed beneath Erestor.

 

Stroking the blond’s hard flesh slowly, Erestor realized he needed oil or another lubricant to properly prepare his lover. Thranduil’s warning rang clearly in his ears. “Do you have any oil?”

 

Glorfindel, wondering what Erestor was talking about, forced himself to concentrate, which would be easier if his lover stopped stroking him. Arching his hips in blatant want, he finally realized what Erestor had asked. “Top drawer… Nightstand…” he managed to whisper, whimpering when Erestor’s hands deserted him.

 

Opening the drawer, Erestor took hold of the massage oil and stared at the vial. Fully realizing what he intended to do to his lover, he sought out Glorfindel’s eyes. The blond was wiggling beneath him, trying to somehow create enough friction to make himself come. Breathless, he watched his lover. Glorfindel was beautiful in his need.

 

Glorfindel grabbed at strands of Erestor’s hair, making it clear that his lover should hurry.

 

Erestor opened the vial, let some droplets flow onto his fingertips and then eyed Glorfindel closely. “Do you really want me to take you? It is not too late to reverse roles.”

 

Glorfindel’s fingers touched his lover’s face. “I am sure. Please make love to me, Lirimaer.”

 

Bending forward, Erestor showered Glorfindel’s face with tiny, soft kisses. Now that the blond was moaning again, his hand trailed down Glorfindel’s stomach. Moving into a kneeling position, he watched Glorfindel part his legs and then settled between them.

 

Glorfindel reached out, grabbed a pillow and raised his hips, shoving the pillow beneath him.

 

Staring at the naked body beneath him, Erestor craved to reach out and touch. Whilst teasing one of Glorfindel’s nipples, he placed one oiled finger at the blond’s entrance, slowly massaging the guardian ring like Thranduil had shown him.

 

Glorfindel, surprised, looked into Erestor’s dilated pupils. “You know what to do?” He hadn’t expected that!

 

Erestor cleared his throat, concentrating on loosening and relaxing the ring of muscle. “I should probably have told you earlier, but… Elrond and Thranduil… They showed me.”

 

“Showed you?” Glorfindel, already relaxed beneath his lover’s touch, frowned and slightly arched his back.

 

Erestor, not expecting the movement, suddenly found that his finger had easily slid inside. A tight heat enveloped his digit and he stared at Glorfindel in surprise. Recalling Thranduil’s advice, he probed the tight passage cautiously and then crooked his finger, trying to find the hidden gland that would bring the blond so much pleasure.

 

Glorfindel bit his bottom lip, feeling Erestor’s finger move inside him. His lover was actually trying to locate his sweet spot! “Showed you?” he repeated, slowly.

 

“Aye, they made love for me,” said Erestor, blushing. “Thranduil showed me what to do.”

 

Lust flashed through Glorfindel at hearing Erestor’s words. “You watched them make love?” Oh, his hard flesh twitched in delight as he tried to picture that scene.

 

“I did.” Erestor pulled back, growing frustrated now that he had been unsuccessful in locating his lover’s hidden gland. Adding more oil, he placed two fingers at Glorfindel’s entrance. Looking at the blond, he waited for permission.

 

Glorfindel blinked, realizing that his lover wanted his permission first, and he nodded eagerly. “Don’t stop now…”

 

Nodding, Erestor gently slid two fingers inside and stretched his lover. Unexpectedly Glorfindel groaned and pushed back.

 

“Ah, yes!” Glorfindel smiled adoringly at his lover when one of Erestor’s fingertips brushed against his sweet spot. “Again, please…”

 

Erestor happily obliged and gently rubbed the nub, relieved that he had managed to find the gland.

 

Panting softly, Glorfindel tried to push down on his lover’s fingers, but then stopped. He didn’t want to come yet. “Take me,” he whispered, pleadingly. He stared at Erestor in disbelief when his lover shook his head, removing his fingers. “What?”

 

Erestor coated another finger and then returned with three. He was beginning to feel nervous now. Glorfindel felt incredibly tight and he wondered how he could ever bury himself in his lover’s body.

 

Glorfindel writhed in impending ecstasy, wishing Erestor would have mercy on him. “I am more than ready, Lirimaer.”

 

Erestor instinctively knew Glorfindel was right and poured a generous amount of oil over his erection, stroking once to make sure every part of him was covered. Now that he had come so far, he was beginning to waver. Glorfindel was just too tight; there was no way the blond could take him! How had Elrond managed to accommodate Thranduil? The half-Elf hadn’t been in any pain.

 

After curling his fingers around his throbbing erection, he positioned himself against his lover’s slippery entrance. He helped the blond support his legs, when Glorfindel wrapped them around his waist.

 

“Take me!” Urgency now sounded in Glorfindel’s voice and he barely refrained from stroking himself to completion. Raising his head, he pleadingly looked at Erestor. “Now…”

 

Erestor’s hard flesh nudged against his lover’s entrance, but in the end, he pulled back, bowed his head in shameful defeat and almost burst into tears. “I cannot do it. I am afraid I will hurt you.”

 

Glorfindel sighed worriedly and sat upright. Erestor was kneeling in front of him and the dark eyes were swimming with tears. “You have stretched me, prepared me. I am more than ready. Erestor, you won’t hurt me.”

 

“Please forgive me, but I cannot do this. I cannot fit in there; it is impossible and I would end up hurting you.” Tears threatened to leave his eyes. “I am so sorry that I have disappointed you. I really thought I could do this, but… you are so tight and…”

 

Glorfindel decided it was time to take action or Erestor would end up in tears. “Lie down, Lirimaer, let me do this for you.”

 

Erestor’s eyes widened, but he complied at once. Lying down, he found himself flat on his back with Glorfindel straddling his hips. He couldn’t stop staring at the blond, who positioned himself over his erection.

 

Glorfindel smiled warmly and eagerly entwined his fingers with Erestor’s when the dark-haired beauty reached for him.

 

Erestor’s heart missed a beat when Glorfindel began to lower himself onto his shaft. “I cannot believe… you are… doing this!” Speech was becoming incredibly difficult now that this velvet-like glove surrounded him. His eyes filled with warmth and love for his lover, whose buttocks now settled in his lap. How was it possible that Glorfindel had taken him to the hilt?

 

“I told you I was ready,” remarked Glorfindel teasingly, as he slid his arms beneath Erestor’s back to pull him close. Remaining motionless, he relished the moment and imprinted the look on Erestor’s face in his mind. He had never seen such rapture on his lover’s face before.

 

Erestor, afraid to move, waited for Glorfindel to take the initiative. “What do we do now?”

 

“Now you make love to me.” Using his tight hold on his lover, he rolled Erestor atop of him. He closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of Erestor’s filling him. “Move, Lirimaer. Do not leave me like this.”

 

Erestor thrust cautiously, uncertain of how much power he should use. The sigh that left Glorfindel’s lips made him claim them and his tongue dived into the hot cavern, dueling wildly.

 

“Har…der…” groaned Glorfindel when Erestor briefly released his lips. He needed more; more friction, more stimulation, and he needed it hard. Being on the receiving end was way more pleasurable than he had thought, and now that his lover brushed his sweet spot with each stroke, he was slowly losing control. Pushing back, he tried to speed up their rhythm.

 

Erestor took his lover’s hint and thrust harder. Intertwining their fingers, he made slow love tot the blond.

 

Unable to keep back any longer, Glorfindel threw back his head, arched his hips and gave into ecstasy. “Ai… nîn amdir… harder… and again… again… oh, yes… harrrrrdeerrrrrr!” He released a strangled moan, reaching orgasm and after tensing, his body relaxed, sated.

 

Erestor had grown motionless during Glorfindel’s climax and now his eyes widened, feeling the blond’s muscle contract around him. “Glorfindel… what… is… this? I… I…Oh…” Buried to the hilt, he tumbled over the edge, coming hard and releasing his seed deep inside his lover’s body. “Oh….” Collapsing atop of his lover, he clung to Glorfindel.

 

Glorfindel quickly wrapped his arms around Erestor and whispered words of reassurance. “Just ride it out. Do not try to stop these feelings. Enjoy them.” Rubbing Erestor’s back, he planted an adoring kiss on his lover’s hair.

 

Trembling with ecstasy, Erestor followed his lover’s advice and enjoyed the pleasant sensations that were coursing through his body. “I love you… nîn faer.”

 

Wrapped in the other's arms, Glorfindel soothingly stroked Erestor’s hair. He could feel his lover soften inside him and he moaned at the loss when Erestor’s sex slipped from his body.

 

Curling around Erestor, Glorfindel held him protectively. “I do not know what to say. Words cannot express the feelings I have for you.”

 

“Then let us be quiet instead.” Erestor rested his head on Glorfindel’s chest, enjoying its up-and-down movement. The silence was more than comfortable; it was reassuring. They didn’t need words to know how deep their love was.

 

Glorfindel realized they should clean up or else they might end up stuck together, but he didn’t want to release his lover just yet. Listening to Erestor’s deep and steadying breathing, he realized the raven-haired Elf had fallen asleep. “Sleep tight, nîn bellas, and may Elbereth always watch over you.”

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Ilye, thanks!

Drawing by Nellas, thanks!

Pyn-neth = young ones

Nîn faer = my soul/spirit.


	28. Chapter 28

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 28

 

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Note; I know that due to canon Elrohir can't catch a cold, or rather I chill. So I wanted to stress (as Ilye advised me) to say that Elrohir's chill isn't according to canon.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

Elrond, who was selecting some sweets to take to his rooms with him, looked up when Legolas entered the kitchen, asking for water and hot tea. One of the maids complied and asked the blond to wait. As Legolas hadn’t noticed him yet, Elrond got a good chance to study the younger Elf.

 

For the most part Legolas’ features mirrored Thranduil’s, but there was one great difference; the thoughtful azure eyes. Where Thranduil’s eyes were feline and emerald, Legolas’ were as blue as the sea.

 

He decided to reveal his presence and walked up to the younger Elf. “Greetings, Legolas. I hope you had a pleasant time at the Bruinen?” And now that he thought about it, where was Elrohir? Elladan had patrol duty, but he had expected Elrohir to join them for dinner.

 

Legolas blinked at seeing the half-Elf. He had never been a good liar and Elrond would probably realize that he wasn’t telling the truth. Was there a way out? “Elrohir is resting. He was a tad tired,” Legolas replied eventually. “He asked for some hot tea and I will deliver it to his room before turning in for the night myself.” He complimented himself on not lying; he had merely omitted the fact that Elrohir had caught a chill that was quickly developing into a fever.

 

Elrond frowned; it didn’t happen often that Elrohir admitted to being tired, but maybe it was his son’s way to gain Legolas’ attention. He judged it best to not meddle in his son’s affairs and smiled reassuringly. “I hope he will feel rested shortly. And do tell him that I expect to see him at the breakfast table.” That was just to make sure nothing was wrong with his youngest son. As a parent, he would always feel protective.

 

Legolas accepted the tray that a maid placed on the table and thanked her. “I should return to Elrohir’s rooms now,” he said apologetically. He was desperate to get away from Elrond, whose piercing gaze made him feel uncomfortable. Elrohir trusted him to keep silent about his chill, but Legolas found it increasingly difficult to hide the truth from the elder half-Elf. Picking up the tray, he headed for the doorway. “I will tell him that you want to see him at breakfast.”

 

Elrond’s frown vanished and a smug grin appeared instead. Picking up his own tray with wine and sweets, he headed for his rooms, where Thranduil was eagerly awaiting his return.

 

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Elrohir was shivering beneath the covers. Why did he have to catch a chill now, when all he wanted was to spend time with Legolas? Growing sad, he wondered if he had missed his chance to impress the blond. He was afraid that he had made a complete fool out of himself.

 

Sighing, he pulled the blanket closer around his trembling form. His throat felt awfully dry and he longed for the hot tea, which Legolas would hopefully bring shortly.

 

He did feel like a complete failure for contracting this chill. He had planned on entertaining Legolas and making his stay very enjoyable, but this cold had sneaked up on him! Angry with himself, he closed his eyes, trying to forget just how miserable he was.

 

At the sound of the door opening, he peeked out from beneath half-closed eyelids. Legolas was carrying a tray and now placed it on the floor, next to the bed. The blond wavered momentarily, but then sat down on the edge of his bed.

 

“I brought you lemon-flavored tea.” Legolas filled a cup.

 

Reluctantly Elrohir pushed himself into a sitting position. Reaching out, his shaky hands curled around the hot cup. After waiting for it to cool down, he sipped slowly. “Thank you.”

 

“You are welcome,” said Legolas, smiling. Raising a hand, he was about to place it against Elrohir’s forehead, but not before asking, “May I?”

 

Elrohir nodded and grew nervous, feeling Legolas’ fingertips brush his brow. “It will be some days before the fever goes down.”

 

“How long did this chill last the last time you had it?”

 

“About a week.” Elrohir had finished his tea and now cuddled up beneath the covers. “And I am not looking forward to being confined to bed for a whole week!”

 

Legolas suddenly recalled Elrond’s words. “Staying in bed might prove difficult. When I was fetching your tea your father told me he expected to see you at breakfast.”

 

“I cannot do that!” Elrohir panicked slightly. “He will instantly notice that something is wrong!” Another coughing fit overwhelmed him and he rode it out under Legolas’ worried look. After regaining his breath, he tried to reassure the blond. “Do not look at me like that. It is not like I will die due to a cold.”

 

“Are you sure?” whispered Legolas thoughtfully.

 

Elrohir gave the blond a startled look. “I may be half-Elven, but I won’t die due to a mere chill.” He wasn’t planning on dying at all! But Legolas’ concern deeply touched him. It meant a lot to him that the blond worried about him like that. He didn’t want Legolas to leave, but he didn’t have the right to take up this much of the other Elf’s time. “You do not have to stay here.”

 

“I do not mind,” said Legolas shyly. His thoughts returned to Elrond’s request that Elrohir be present in the morning. “Maybe you could send Elladan in your place?”

 

Hidden beneath the blanket, Elrohir shook his head. “That won’t work. My father can easily tell us apart. Elladan would not be able to fool him, and my brother won’t return for at least one more day. It is his turn to lead the border patrols this week.”

 

Legolas didn’t want to say it aloud, but he figured Elrond finding about Elrohir’s chill would be a good thing. “Would you like me to stay for the night in case you grow worse? I would rather not leave you alone in this condition.”

 

Elrohir shot him hopeful but guilty look. “I am sure you would rest more comfortably in your own rooms.”

 

“I am not that tired,” said Legolas reassuringly. “I will make myself comfortable in a chair.”

 

Elrohir locked eyes with Legolas. “Why don’t you take Elladan’s bed? He won’t be home tonight.”

 

“Are you sure Elladan won’t mind?”

 

“I am sure.” Elladan would be grateful that Legolas had stayed to look after him.

 

Legolas moved to the twin bed next to Elrohir’s and propped the pillow against the wall. Lying propped up on his side he studied the half-Elf. “What does it feel like? Having a cold?”

 

“I feel miserable,” admitted Elrohir, growing thirsty again. “I feel cold and then hot. I cannot stop shaking and my throat feels raw.”

 

Legolas pushed himself into an upright position again, already reaching for the water. “Would you like another drink?”

 

“I would love some water.” Elrohir struggled free of the blankets and greedily drank the water Legolas offered him. He cherished Legolas’ touch when the Elf helped him to get comfortable again. “Thank you for staying.” He would have hated being alone tonight.

 

Legolas settled back onto Elladan’s bed and gave him a warm smile. Being able to help Elrohir made him feel warm inside. “I will stay, mellon-nîn, and now go to sleep. You need to recuperate.”

 

Hearing Legolas’ voice soothed him enough to close his eyes and relax. Slowly, he surrendered to his exhaustion. But just when he was drifting off, Legolas’ hands settled on either side of his face, almost shaking him.

 

“Open your eyes! Elrohir!”

 

Oops. Elrohir felt guilty as he realized what had happened. Smiling at the blond, he rested a shaky hand atop of Legolas’. “You should know that I sleep with my eyes closed. I am sorry. I did not mean to startle you.” Legolas’ wide eyes grew calm again and Elrohir soothingly rubbed the blond’s knuckles. “Sleeping with my eyes closed is normal for me,” he paused, and then added, “And for Elladan as well.”

 

Legolas felt slightly reassured, but wasn’t inclined to remove his hands from Elrohir’s face. The half-Elf was close and so were those seductive lips. /What am I thinking? He does not feel attracted to me./ The thought saddened him, and he resigned himself to just being friends. “I won’t overreact again.”

 

“You did not know,” said Elrohir. “I should have told you, but…” He had to pause again, as another coughing bout tormented his lungs. “I hate colds.” Legolas’ fingers combed through his hair, and after steadying his breathing, he smiled lovingly at the blond. “I will keep you awake, coughing all night long.”

 

“As I said before, I am not that tired.” Legolas smiled warmly, and regretted having to let go of the silk strands. He lay down again and resumed watching Elrohir, whose eyes were slowly closing again. Seeing those dark eyes close still made him feel apprehensive, but at least now he understood what was happening. For one terrible moment he had been afraid that half-Elves could die from colds after all!

 

To his surprise, he found he needed some sort of physical contact to reassure himself that Elrohir was fine. Reaching out, he managed to curl his fingers around Elrohir’s right hand, which rested above the blanket. He rubbed the half-Elf’s fingers, wondering about the strong attraction he felt. But he resigned himself to just being Elrohir’s friend, because that was what the half-Elf wanted.

 

Staying awake during the night, he guarded Elrohir’s restless sleep.

 

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Glorfindel had lovingly twirled a strand of dark hair around his index finger and now enjoyed the sensation it caused against his skin. Making love with Erestor had felt incredibly right and he was so happy that his lover had been able to take this step. He doubted exchanging vows could deepen their relationship further, but he would happily make Erestor his officially. Maybe Elrond could help him organize a ceremony.

 

Erestor moved in his arms, sighed, and snuggled closer. During the night, his lover had rolled onto his other side, allowing the blond to spoon up behind him. Releasing the silk strand, he relished running his fingers through the raven mane, expecting his fingertips to encounter the scars at the nape of Erestor’s neck.

 

Frowning, he brushed aside the dark hair and probed the skin. Looking closely, he realized that the scars were completely gone. A smile surfaced on his face; their love had empowered the dark-haired Elf’s healing abilities and Erestor had healed eventually. “I love you, nîn ind.” 

 

Erestor’s eyes slowly regained their awareness and he sighed, hearing Glorfindel’s whispered words. Turning around in the blond’s embrace, he dotingly looked at the Elda. He brought up his arms behind Glorfindel’s back and held his lover close. “I love you too, nîn faer.” Waking up in the blond’s arms felt divine.

 

“Thank you for trusting me the way you did.” Glorfindel returned to play with the raven strands, wondering if he should tell Erestor that the scars were gone. But their silence was comfortable and he decided to mention it later, once he braided Erestor’s hair. “We should take a bath.”

 

Erestor nodded, but didn’t want to let go of his lover. His gaze moved to the window, realizing it was still night. Ithil still rode the dark sky and it would be several hours before Arien rose.

 

Glorfindel broke their embrace, slid out of bed and extended his hand. “Come with me. I will prepare a warm bath and afterwards we will snuggle up together.”

 

Hearing it phrased like that, Erestor couldn’t resist. He quickly rose to his feet and allowed his lover to lead him into the bathroom.

 

 

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Some time during the night Legolas’ worry increased. Violent coughs and tremors wracked the half-Elf’s body and at times the eyes opened, only to close again. Sitting upright, he reached out and placed his hand on Elrohir’s brow. He hissed at the heat that seeped into his fingertips. It felt like his charge was burning up.

 

“Elrohir? Elrohir!” He tried to awaken him, but Elrohir mumbled incoherently in his sleep.

 

Legolas frowned; he no longer felt comfortable keeping this a secret. Elrond had a right to know that Elrohir wasn’t well. “I am sorry to betray your trust, but I cannot let this continue, meldir. A few hours ago you were alert and healthy, but now you are growing worse fast. I need to tell your father.”

 

Elrohir didn’t react to his words and Legolas rose from the bed. The last time he had seen his father, Thranduil had been moving his belongings to Elrond’s rooms, so he decided to head for the half-Elf’s quarters. He would have preferred to talk to his father first, but now he would go straight to Elrond.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“There is someone at the door,” remarked Thranduil, lying propped up in Elrond’s bed. He was enjoying a honey-covered sweet and was not inclined to leave his warm nest. Elrond on the other hand, still needed to undress as the half-Elf had been answering some letters. “Would you get it?”

 

Elrond, amused, glanced at the blond beauty in his bed. He still regretted wasting all these centuries by being angry with his lover. Indulging the blond, he walked to the doorway and opened the door. “Legolas?” He was rather surprised to see the younger Elf on his doorstep. The worried expression on Legolas’ face made him feel apprehensive. “Is anything wrong?” Why else would Legolas seek him out at this late hour?

 

Legolas nervously shuffled his feet and averted his eyes. With every passing moment he felt guiltier. “May I come inside?” He didn’t want to inform Elrond that his son was ill whilst standing in the corridor.

 

Hearing his son’s voice, Thranduil’s brow furrowed. “Legolas, is that you?” He wrapped a sheet around his waist and got to his feet, whilst Legolas walked over to one of the chairs near the balcony. Oh, he knew the expression in his son’s eyes; it usually meant trouble.

 

Legolas cleared his throat, not looking forward to this. Glancing at his father, he was nearly overcome by amusement, seeing Thranduil clutch his sheet close. But he quickly sobered again. Meeting Elrond’s eyes shyly, he said, “It is about Elrohir.”

 

Elrond’s heart missed a beat. “Is something wrong with my son?” He didn’t like the way Legolas was dodging his gaze. He barely refrained from storming out of his rooms in search of his youngest son.

 

“When we were at the Bruinen, he contracted a chill,” said Legolas. His features contorted briefly. “He asked me not to tell you, but I grew worried, sitting with him. He feels so hot and I cannot get used to seeing him sleep with his eyes closed.” After drawing in a deep breath, he made eye contact with Elrond. “I could not keep quiet, seeing him suffer like that. I do not want him to be in any pain.”

 

Elrond shook his head. “What was he thinking? He should have told me!” Locking gazes with Legolas, his tone softened. “You did the right thing in coming here. Thank Elbereth that you listened to your common sense instead of my thick-headed son!”

 

Legolas swallowed hard. “Is there anything you can do to help him?”

 

“I will check on him –now-,” said Elrond determinedly.

 

“I am coming with you!” said Legolas at once, but then shied back. “If I may.”

 

Elrond nodded once and then looked at his lover. “Are you coming along as well?” Seeing Thranduil nod, he added, “Get dressed first and then join us in the twins’ rooms. I cannot have you wander around only wearing that sheet!”

 

Thranduil had the grace to blush weakly. “Go on, I will catch up with you later.” He briefly wanted to ask Legolas to stay, but the concern on his son’s face kept him back. When Elrond had told him about Elrohir’s crush, he had hoped Legolas would develop feelings for the young half-Elf and now he was fairly sure his son had fallen in love as well.

 

Legolas tagged along after Elrond, who now rushed from the room. The ruler of Imladris was muttering to himself and Legolas tried to stay in the background.

 

When they reached the twins’ rooms, Elrond rushed inside, not bothering to knock. He cursed privately, seeing his son’s sweat-covered brow. “By the Grace of the Valar, what were you thinking?” He headed for the bed and placed his hand on his son’s brow. “Oh, Elrohir, you are burning up!” Looking over his shoulder, he addressed Legolas. “Go to the healing house and ask one of the healers to gather the medical herbs that will bring down his fever and drive the cold from his body. Go!”

 

Legolas came to life and immediately ran down the corridor, grateful that Elrohir had shown him around earlier. At least now he knew the way around!

 

Elrond peeled the blanket from his son’s damp body and checked his pulse. “Elrohir? Can you hear me?” He took hold of his son’s shoulders and shook him gently, trying to wake him.

 

Elrohir’s eyes reluctantly opened. A big, dark form appeared in front of him, and it took him a moment to identify it, expecting to see Legolas instead. “Ada?” What was his father doing here?

 

“Why must you always be this stubborn? You take care of everyone except yourself. Well, it looks like Legolas and I have to do it for you.”

 

“Lego…las… Where is he?” He tried to look past his father, but his vision was becoming increasingly blurry.

 

“I sent him to gather healing herbs,” explained Elrond, who looked over his shoulder at the doorway when Thranduil entered. “Would you ask one of the servants to bring hot water for tea?”

 

Thranduil, grateful he could help, nodded once and instructed a maid to bring the hot water. Then he returned to Elrohir’s room, coming to a halt behind Elrond. Cocking his head, he took in Elrohir’s rumpled appearance, and the sight made him wonder. Until now he had never really considered the fact that Elrond was half-Elven. “Elrond, can you catch a chill as well?”

 

Elrond looked up at the blond. “It is possible.”

 

“Then you should not be tending to him. If you catch a cold we will have to nurse you back to health as well. Why don’t you tell me what to do and Legolas and I will tend to Elrohir?”

 

“That won’t be necessary,” said Elrond dismissively. Rationally, Thranduil was right, but he wasn’t going to leave his son’s side. “It wouldn’t have been this bad if he had come directly to me.”

 

“But he didn’t. At least let me help then.”

 

“I think Legolas will want to do that and I do not want the room crowded.”

 

Thranduil sighed, giving in. “Suit yourself.”

 

The argument was ended when Legolas returned, carrying several leather pouches. He placed them on the floor next to Elrond and then stood back, watching eagerly as Elrond sorted out the herbs.

 

Thranduil walked over to the door when the maid appeared, and carried the hot water over to the bed where he helped Elrond add the right herbs to the water. He stirred it, helping the herbs release their healing potential. “Legolas, sit down on the bed and help Elrohir sit upright.” He knew Elrond was dying to help Elrohir, but he wanted to limit the risk of his lover contracting a cold as well.

 

Elrond briefly glared at Thranduil, but then realized why his lover was acting in this way; Thranduil was concerned for his health. That realization made him give in.

 

Legolas sat down, pulled Elrohir into a sitting position and then supported the half-Elf.

 

Elrond placed the cup, filled with the healing essence, against his son’s lips and encouraged Elrohir to sip.

 

Elrohir, barely coherent due to the fever, swallowed instinctively. After emptying the cup, he rested his head against Legolas’ shoulder, relishing the other’s closeness.

 

“If you tell me what to do I will stay with him and watch over him,” offered Legolas, friendly but determined.

 

Elrond and Thranduil exchanged a knowing glance. Although he worried about his son, Elrond smiled warmly. “I will take you up on your offer.” Legolas’ relieved sigh told him how sincere the younger Elf was. “He must stay in bed, keep warm, and make sure he drinks a cup of this tea every hour. If he is thirsty give him water. I will check on him in the morning.”

 

Locking gazes with Elrohir, Elrond added, “And we will talk once you feel better. You should know better than to neglect a chill. I cannot understand why you did not come to me! But we will discuss that later. Elrohir, you must take better care of yourself. Take the time to recover.”

 

Elrohir nodded, although he wasn’t sure what his father had just said. Elrond’s words sounded distorted. His eyes began to close and he slipped back into sleep, resting comfortably against Legolas. The blond felt soft in the right places and he cuddled up to him.

 

Legolas nervously peeked at Elrond, wondering what the ruler of Imladris was thinking, but he relaxed slightly, seeing the amused and approving expression on the elder half-Elf’s face.

 

“He looks extremely comfortable,” commented Thranduil, enjoying seeing Legolas squirm at his words. He couldn’t remember seeing that particular expression on his son’s face before. Wasn’t it ironic that his youngest would fall for Elrond’s youngest son?

 

“Stay with him,” said Elrond, rising to his feet. “Use fresh herbs to make more tea and do not hesitate to call for me, should Elrohir grow worse. But I expect him to sleep peacefully for the rest of the night now that he has drunk this healing tea. It should bring down his fever rather quickly.”

 

Legolas wondered if Elrond expected him to move away from Elrohir. After all, Elrohir was Elrond’s son and he would probably like to sit in his place and hold his son.

 

“No, stay,” said Elrond, raising his hand, reading Legolas’ expression. “No need to wake him now. You will have to wake him anyway when it is time for his herbal tea.”

 

Thranduil tucked the blanket back around Elrohir’s form and exchanged a smile with his son. “Take good care of him, Legolas.”

 

“I will, Ada.” Legolas smiled, realizing Elrohir fitted perfectly in his arms. Watching the two elder Elves leave, he sighed contented. Now that Elrohir was in his arms, he didn’t want to let go ever again.

 

TBC


	29. Chapter 29

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 29

 

 

Legolas watched Elrohir closely and made sure the half-Elf drank the healing tea regularly. At some time during the night Elrond checked on them, peeking around the door, but seeing Elrohir fast asleep and Legolas alert, he closed the door again to let his son rest.

 

Looking out of the window, Legolas found that Arien was rising and he hoped that her warm beams would lure Elrohir from his sleep. He still had to admit to the half-Elf that he had betrayed his trust and told Elrond. But he hoped Elrohir would understand he had been worried about his health and forgive him.

 

“Mornin',” said Elrohir in a hoarse tone. Legolas’ big eyes revealed the blond’s surprise at finding him awake and Elrohir smiled reassuringly. He cherished the touch when Legolas brushed some stray locks from his face. “Did you really stay all night long?” And why did he recall seeing his father at his bedside?

 

Legolas nodded once and smiled shyly. “I did.” He moistened his lips and then reluctantly continued, “During the night your fever grew worse and I… I told your father.”

 

“Ah, that is why I remember seeing him in my dreams.” Elrohir sighed, realizing that Legolas had acted out of concern; he couldn’t possibly be cross with the blond. “Was my father angry with me for not telling him?”

 

“He was not pleased, I can tell you that!” Legolas tried for an amused tone, and when Elrohir smiled, he felt relieved that the half-Elf was not angry with him. “I was so worried about you! You told me that you sleep with your eyes closed, but when the fever worsened, I was afraid you might die after all.” The realization that he wanted to wrap his arms around the half-Elf reminded him once more of the fact that he was falling for Elrohir and he regretted the distance between them.

 

Elrohir, who had grown warm, pushed back the covers. Even his sleeping robe felt hot. “I am surprised my father is not here right now.”

 

“Well, that might be –my- father’s doing,” offered Legolas apologetically. “He was rather concerned that Elrond might catch a cold as well, so he was eager to get your father back to his rooms. I offered to watch over you, which he approved of.”

 

Elrohir, still feeling slightly light-headed and fuzzy due to his fever, mumbled, “He is not the only one who approved.” Even in his foggy state of mind, Legolas’ frown registered. Oops, had he said that aloud? Oh well... maybe he could blame it on his fever.

 

“Elrohir, what did you mean by that?” Legolas, seated on the edge of the bed, leaned in closer to study Elrohir’s widening eyes. Suddenly he felt like he was missing something.

 

Elrohir felt torn; should he confess up or continue to hide his attraction? In the end, exhaustion made his decision for him. He just didn’t have the energy to hide his feelings any longer. “I –like- you,” he whispered, barely audible. “A lot.”

 

Legolas momentarily forgot to breathe, hearing those words. “I like you too, Elrohir.” His heart fluttered madly in his chest, but he was afraid to hope Elrohir’s words might mean more. “A lot.”

 

Elrohir and Legolas stared at another, searching the other’s eyes. In the end, it was Elrohir who could no longer bear the tension between them. “I have fallen in love with you,” he said, sucking in his breath, afraid of Legolas’ reaction. His heart would most certainly break if the blond rejected him! And the fever was making him even more emotional! “I tried to fight it, because your father and my father are lovers and I thought I should love you like a brother and not…” Raving, he averted his eyes. He really didn’t want to hear Legolas’ reaction; the rejection that would shortly follow.

 

Legolas was doing his best to fully understand what Elrohir had just admitted to him. “You are in love with me?” His greatest wish was quickly becoming reality!

 

“Aye, it started the moment I met you. I never really believed in love at first sight, but my feelings proved me wrong.” Elrohir couldn’t believe he was telling Legolas how he felt. “But I know you do not feel the same way about me, so—“ He didn’t get a chance to end his sentence as Legolas interrupted him.

 

“But… how do you know I do not feel the same way about you?” Legolas beamed with happiness and smiled giddily at the half-Elf.

 

“Because… look at you and then at me. I do not compare to you…”

 

Legolas’ heart contracted painfully in his chest. Was this just about his looks? If it was, his heart would break.

 

Elrohir instinctively took hold of the blond’s hands and moistened his chapped lips. How he wished he could have a drink of water before delivering his admission. “There is a light inside you that I never witnessed before and it comes from caring about others. You accepted my father and me in your life when you did not have to. You escorted me home, put me to bed and even now you are still here, taking care of me.”

 

Legolas remained quiet. So far Elrohir hadn’t managed to convince him that this was really love and not just lust or infatuation.

 

“Legolas,” Elrohir started again, his mouth now dry and his throat hurting, “We have so much in common! Your mother sailed for Valinor and so did mine! You have an older brother, so do I! And let us not forget that our fathers are lovers, which is just another factor that binds us!” He actually managed to draw a chuckle from Legolas and he sighed, relieved. Maybe he still had a chance if he played his cards right! “Legolas, do you really have feelings for me?”

 

Legolas reluctantly nodded his head. “But I am afraid to act on them.”

 

“Why?”

 

Realizing how hoarse and raw Elrohir’s voice was, Legolas filled a cup with water and handed it to the half-Elf, who sipped slowly after shooting him a grateful look. “Because I… do not trust or believe easily.”

 

“Why?” Elrohir frowned, seeing Legolas shift nervously on the bed.

 

“I had… suitors before. Male and female, and they told me how much they loved me. But when I probed deeper they either were in love with my looks or wanted to gain more influence at my father’s court. I learned to be cautious.” The look of startled disbelief on Elrohir’s face surprised him. “Something like that has never happened to you?”

 

“Legolas, you are my first… love. I never had these kinds of feelings before and no one ever proclaimed to have them for me.” Elrohir shook his head in disbelief. “It never occurred to me that you might feel… cautious around me.”

 

“I must admit that I was relieved when you did not make a pass at me,” said Legolas, putting down the now empty cup. “But I must also confess that I soon regretted that you kept your distance and only wanted to be friends. I never felt drawn to someone in that way before and I am glad you feel the same way.” Blushing, he weakly squeezed Elrohir’s hand.

 

“I would like to give this a chance… when I am feeling better,” Elrohir said with a tired smile.

 

Legolas, feeling shy, looked and slowly nodded his head. “I want to get to know you better as well.”

 

“No pressure,” said Elrohir reassuringly. “We will take things slowly.”

 

Legolas nodded, feeling thankful. “I would like that too.”

 

Feeling utterly drained, Elrohir closed his eyes. “I am afraid I am going to fall asleep again… I do not want to, but…”

 

Legolas lovingly brushed a strand of waywaird hair back behind Elrohir’s ear and smiled as he continued to watch over his new love, who was quickly dozing off.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor followed Glorfindel into the dining room where Elrond and Thranduil were already eating breakfast. He frowned at seeing the dark circles beneath the half-Elf’s eyes and asked, “Did something happen last night that I am unaware of?” Sitting down next to Glorfindel, he studied Elrond.

 

Elrond placed his knife on the plate and nodded once. “Aye, but I did not deem it necessary to worry you about it.”

 

“What happened?” asked Glorfindel, placing freshly baked bread and a slice of cheese on his plate.

 

“Elrohir caught a chill and tried to hide it from me,” said Elrond with a sigh. “But I already checked on him. I expect him to be back on his feet within the week.”

 

Erestor did worry, however. “Could I visit him later? Or would you prefer that he rests?”

 

“You may visit,” said Elrond, chuckling softly. “But I suggest you do not try to nurse him back to health. Legolas would not like that idea.”

 

“Legolas?” Glorfindel was beginning to feel lost.

 

“Elrohir is in love with Legolas,” said Elrond.

 

“And I know my son well enough to recognize the warmth in his eyes when he looks at Elrohir,” added Thranduil, amused. “We should disturb them as little as possible, to give them a chance to get to know another.”

 

Erestor grinned smugly. “I just knew it.” Seeing Elrond and Thranduil’s questioning glances, he added, “I suspected as much, but I was not sure. I will keep my visits limited then.”

 

Elrond smiled, shaking his head. “You could have told me.”

 

But Erestor didn’t agree. “I did not want to interfere. Love usually finds a way when it is supposed to be.”

 

Glorfindel’s face radiated love when Erestor squeezed his knee under the table. That reminded him he was supposed to ask Elrond a favor. After clearing his throat, he drew in a deep breath and looked at his old friend. “Erestor and I want to exchange vows. We want to marry officially. Would Thranduil and you be our witnesses?”

 

Pleased, Elrond released an approving gasp. “Of course! But you should invite Elrohir and Elladan as well. The two of you always were very important to them and they greatly care about you.” Elrond was rather sure that his sons wouldn’t forgive them for not including them when exchanging vows.

 

Erestor nodded and then exchanged a look with Glorfindel. The blond nodded as well and Erestor said, “We will wait one week, and when Elrohir feels better we will exchange our vows. Elladan and Legolas are also invited.”

 

“We will be there,” replied Elrond, placing his hand atop his lover’s. Maybe in future they would want to exchange vows as well.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elladan was glad to be returning home. Some uncanny feeling had haunted him since leaving his twin behind in Imladris and he was eager to be reunited with his brother. For some reason he felt worried and he needed to make sure Elrohir was fine.

 

He dismounted, told the stable hand to attend to his horse, and headed for his rooms. He was desperate to take a bath and change into a fresh set of clothes. Opening the door to his rooms, he halted abruptly, seeing Legolas hold Elrohir whilst his brother was asleep. A wicked grin surfaced on his face. It looked like Elrohir had been successful in his quest to conquer the blond’s heart.

 

Startled, Legolas looked at the doorway. Seeing Elladan grin at him, he wondered how to react to the twin’s presence. His growing nervousness made him explain quickly. “Your brother caught a chill and I offered to sit with him after Elrond left.”

 

“A chill?” Elladan walked over to his twin, and after pulling a chair close to the bed, he sat down. Studying his brother, he couldn’t repress a chuckle. “The last time this happened we were Elflings!”

 

“We went swimming and the water of the Bruinen was cold,” offered Legolas. “I never realized he could catch a chill.”

 

“It will pass within the week. I had a few chills myself and although they made me feel miserable, they will pass.”

 

Legolas arched an eyebrow. “Elladan? Should you be in here then? If you can catch it as well...”

 

“I could move into some guest rooms,” said Elladan, shrugging. He wondered if Legolas’ inquiry was made out of worry or the desire to be alone with Elrohir. Elladan’s grin broadened. “I will just collect some of my clothes then.” Oh, he didn’t plan to interfere in this matter! If Elrohir wanted to be with Legolas, he was happy to oblige!

 

Whilst collecting his belongings, he watched Legolas closely. The blond brushed hair from Elrohir’s face and at times whispered softly. In the end, curiosity got the better of him. “You look like you greatly care about him.” Legolas’ eyes darted wildly, as if hesitant to make eye contact with him. /Interesting./

 

Legolas nervously cleared his throat. There was no way out of this. Sooner or later he had to tell Elladan. “Elrohir told me he is in love with me and I… I feel the same way about him.” Averting his eyes, he tightened his hold on his charge, as if drawing strength from the trembling form resting in his arms.

 

Elladan correctly interpret the look in Legolas’ eyes. “Don’t be afraid that I will meddle in this affair. I want Elrohir to be happy as well.”

 

Legolas sighed, relieved. He hadn’t been sure that Elladan would approve. “Elrohir and I want to take this slow.”

 

“Good.” Elladan headed for the bed, carrying a bag with clothes in his hand. Briefly, he reached out and rubbed his twin’s brow, which still felt clammy and hot. “You have taken good care of him so far. I trust you to continue to look after him.”

 

“I will,” vowed Legolas, looking deeply into Elladan’s eyes.

 

Satisfied, Elladan smiled, whispered words of love to his brother and then headed for the doorway. Closing the door behind him, he hoped Elrohir and Legolas would be happy.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond quietly opened the door to his sons’ rooms and entered soundlessly. He smiled, finding both Elves asleep. Legolas must have given in to exhaustion at one point, but he was still tightly holding Elrohir in his sleep.

 

Reassured that his youngest son was recovering, he closed the door behind him. He addressed one of the servants and told him to bring more hot water to his sons’ rooms so Elrohir could continue to drink of the healing tea.

 

Walking down the corridor, he peeked into his study, finding Glorfindel and Erestor working their way through a pile of papers; the backlog of these last few weeks. He continued his walk, heading for his rooms, where Thranduil was waiting for him.

 

Now that Elrohir couldn’t lead the border control, Thranduil had offered to take over and Elrond wanted to say goodbye to his lover. It was amazing; Thranduil wasn’t gone yet and he already missed him!

 

Entering his rooms, he found his lover girding on his sword. He was reminded of that one shameful moment when he had thought Thranduil had attacked Elladan.

 

He really didn’t want his lover to leave, but duty called and it meant a lot to him that Thranduil was willing to help protect Imladris.

 

Thranduil turned around and met his lover’s stormy eyes. He knew Elrond didn’t want him to leave, but he refused to let the half-Elf lead the patrols instead. Imladris needed Elrond safe and sound in the Last Homely House. “Do not worry about me. I will be back in a few days.”

 

Elrond nodded and forced himself to smile. “Promise me to be careful.”

 

“There have been no sightings of Orcs for quite some time now, and even if they dared attack, they would find me more than they can handle. I disarmed you, didn’t I?”

 

Thranduil’s words slightly reassured Elrond. “Just be careful.”

 

“I promise.” Thranduil planted a possessive kiss on his lover’s lips and then marched out of the room.

 

/Hurry back to me,/ thought Elrond, his heart contracting in pain. /Always come back to me!/

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrohir dotingly looked at Legolas, obediently eating the small pieces of fruit the blond was feeding him. He wasn’t sure if it was due to his father’s healing tea or Legolas’ excellent care – probably a combination of both - but he was beginning to feel better.

 

Legolas offered him a slice of an orange, and as he wrapped his tongue around it, he accidentally licked the blond’s index finger as well. To his surprise, Legolas blushed fiercely and muttered something unintelligible. “Sorry,” Elrohir whispered, realizing Legolas was feeling shy. “I did not do it on purpose.”

 

Legolas offered him a weak smile. “This is going to be awkward.”

 

“In what way?”

 

“You are my first lover and, from what you told me, you are untouched as well. It makes me wonder if either of us knows what we are doing.”

 

“Oh, do not worry about that! I am sure we will figure everything out.” Elrohir felt lost staring into the azure eyes. “Aiya, the way you make me feel...”

 

Legolas chuckled softly. “You are doing the same thing to me.”

 

Elrohir raised a hand and buried his fingers in the flaxen hair. Legolas was right. Neither of them knew what to do. /But that does not matter. The only thing that matters is that we love one another./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Two days later, Elrond finally allowed Elrohir to leave his bed for the first time. Elrohir wasn’t sure how he felt about that; he had loved being fussed over by Legolas.

 

Pushing back the covers, he swung his feet to the floor whilst being closely observed by three pairs of concerned eyes; his father, Elladan and Legolas. “Stop looking at me like that… Please!” He was growing uneasy beneath their stares. “The fever is down and I no longer feel groggy!”

 

Legolas lowered himself and sat on his heels, gathering Elrohir’s hands in his. “We are worried. We cannot help it.”

 

“I know you are worried,” said Elrohir, softly, “But I do feel better!” Momentarily forgetting his father and brother’s presence, he stroked back a strand of golden hair behind Legolas’ ear. “At least now you are no longer stuck with me in these rooms. Once I am back on my feet, we—“

 

Elladan cut his twin short. “Don’t even think about leaving our rooms yet! Ada told you to stay indoors for a few more days.”

 

Elrond fiercely nodded his head. “You are –not- leaving these rooms, Elrohir!”

 

Elrohir sighed. Still holding Legolas’ hands, he slowly pushed himself onto his feet.

 

Legolas immediately reached out to steady Elrohir if necessary, but the half-Elf seemed to have recovered nicely and was steady on his feet. Somewhat reassured, Legolas walked beside Elrohir when the half-Elf headed for the bathroom. After closing the door behind his charge, he turned and looked at Elrond. “He is getting better.”

 

“He is.” Elrond still felt slightly disappointed that Elrohir hadn’t confided in him about the chill, but realized his son had had his reasons for keeping quiet. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t lecture Elrohir about it when his son had recovered. “Continue to keep an eye on him, Legolas. Elrohir always worries about others, but tends to neglect himself.”

 

“I will watch over him,” said Legolas, smiling. The bemused looks he was getting made him worry that their love was no longer a secret. Had Elladan and Elrond realized Elrohir and he were in love? Legolas blushed and wrung his hands behind his back.

 

Elrond moistened his lips, sensing Legolas’ discomfort. Now that Elrohir wasn’t close, he decided to address this matter. “I assume Elrohir told you that he is in love with you?”

 

“I suspected you knew,” whispered Legolas, feeling ill at ease.

 

Elrond raised a hand and rested it on Legolas’ shoulder. “Elrohir came to me a few days ago and admitted he had lost his heart to you. For one moment I feared his feelings were one-sided, but it seems you feel the same way about him -- or am I wrong?”

 

“You are right,” admitted Legolas. His gaze shifted from Elrond to Elladan. “But I do not feel very confident about courting him. I would like your blessing first. I want both of you to approve of this relationship before it deepens.”

 

Elrond squeezed Legolas’ shoulder gently. “You have my blessing, Legolas. And I very much approve of the choice of Elrohir’s heart. You will be good for him.”

 

Legolas breathed a relieved sigh, hearing Elrond’s words, but he still had to face Elladan. Looking at the half-Elf, he said, “I know Elrohir and you are close and I do not want to come between you, but… I love him.”

 

Elladan could tell by the expression in Legolas’ eyes that the blond wasn’t sure of his reaction. Elladan smiled warmly and nodded once. “It was love at first sight for Elrohir. I know, because I was there when he admitted his feelings for you. Make him happy, Legolas, for he deserves to be happy. And don’t ever hurt him, because if you do, you will answer to me.”

 

Legolas paled, but then saw the wicked grin on Elladan’s face. “Uhm, and I think Valthoron will be rather upset if Elrohir hurt me,” said Legolas, teasingly. “That is what older brothers are like, aren’t they?”

 

Elladan laughed warmly and exchanged a pleased look with his father.

 

Elrond smiled as well and headed for the bathroom when Elrohir appeared in the doorway.

 

Elrohir, having heard Elladan laugh, narrowed his eyes and stared questioningly at his brother. Had something happened during his short stay in the bathroom? Then his gaze drifted to Legolas and he felt relieved, seeing the grin on the blond’s face; Elrohir instantly knew everything was well.

 

After allowing his father to escort him to one of the chairs next to the window, he sat down. “It is rather crowded in here. Don’t you think so, Legolas?”

 

Elrond and Elladan chuckled softly. “That is our hint to leave,” said Elladan, pleased that the attraction between his brother and Legolas was mutual.

 

“But do not get –too- comfortable,” said Elrond, wickedly, “I will check on you later. Both of you had better behave!”

 

Elrohir grinned, seeing the blush on Legolas’ face. “I cannot guarantee we will!”

 

Elrond and Elladan left the room, both shaking their head in mock annoyance.

 

Elrohir signaled for Legolas to sit with him and after the blond had seated himself on the windowsill, he gathered his companion’s hands in his. “I thought they would never leave.”

 

“But they are right. You should rest.”

 

“Oh, I will, provided you will stay here with me.”

 

Legolas gave Elrohir a radiant smile. “Oh, I will…”

 

TBC


	30. Chapter 30

Dinîf en qualen.

Part 30/30

 

 

The week had passed quickly and now Elrohir was getting himself ready to attend the ceremony that would officially bind Erestor and Glorfindel. When he had heard about their plans he had been extremely pleased and happy for both of them. And when Erestor had asked him to help him get ready, he had eagerly accepted. But he still regretted having to leave Legolas’ side, even if it only was for a few hours.

 

Elladan had offered to take the blond under his wing and his twin had taken Legolas for a ride, showing him more of Imladris. Elrohir sighed; Legolas and Elladan had only been gone for a few minutes and he already missed both of them.

 

Knocking on the door to Glorfindel’s rooms, he grinned, hearing the nervous edge to Erestor’s tone when his former mentor told him to enter. Elrohir stepped inside and closed the door behind him. A bemused laugh escaped him, seeing the state Erestor was in.

 

The elder Elf stood in front of the dressing table, wrapped in towels. His hair was a tangled mess and confusion shone from his eyes. Staying calm, Elrohir advanced on his friend.

 

“I do not know where to start,” said Erestor, pointing at himself.

 

“Let us attend to your hair first. Sit down.” Elrohir waited for Erestor to seat himself in front of the mirror and then reached for brush and comb. Glorfindel had asked him to make sure Erestor wore the golden circlet and the flower-shaped beads in his hair, and Elrohir had happily assured the Elda that he would take care of it.

 

Untangling the raven mass of hair, he glanced at Erestor’s reflection in the mirror. “You seem nervous, meldir.”

 

“I am,” admitted Erestor in a hoarse tone. “I am afraid that Glorfindel will realize he is making a mistake and will reconsider. I know I am driving myself crazy that way, but a part of me still cannot believe he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.”

 

Elrohir smiled reassuringly. “Erestor, Glorfindel loves you. And in your heart you know that. You just need to hear Glorfindel say it a few more times.” Now that he had untangled the dark mane, he began to weave the flower-shaped beads into Erestor’s hair. “Speaking of Glorfindel, where is he?”

 

“Elrond offered to keep him company until the ceremony takes place. I am so nervous that I was making him nervous in turn!” Erestor fidgeted with a corner of a towel. “It is just… I still expect Glorfindel to cancel the ceremony.”

 

This time Elrohir remained quiet, concentrating on braiding Erestor’s hair. He hoped that his former tutor would feel more confident once their vows had been exchanged. “Have you already prepared your vows?”

 

Erestor nodded and Elrohir barely refrained from uttering a soft curse; wayward strands of hair escaped his fingers as the braid was undone, and he had to start anew. “Keep still.” The fact that Erestor managed a weak smile reassured Elrohir.

 

“I haven't needed to prepare any vows. I already carry them with me in my heart.”

 

Elrohir’s smile broadened. “You are a romantic soul, Erestor.”

 

The comment made Erestor blush slightly. “No one has ever said that before.”

 

Elrohir laughed softly. “Oh, I am sure Glorfindel will in the future.” Having finished another braid, he continued to weave in the last few beads. The golden beads and circlet did suit Erestor’s dark hair and brown eyes. He even thought he saw golden specks in the dark orbs.

 

Erestor remained motionless, and when Elrohir began to weave the circlet into his hair, his breath caught. A few weeks ago he had seen a stranger in the mirror and Glorfindel had merely smiled at hearing this. But now the happy and contented Elf that looked back even felt like him. Glorfindel truly completed him. Now that he felt happy, he was scared to lose Glorfindel. What if the Elda reconsidered and called off the ceremony? This question had tormented him for the last few hours and was the very reason why he had shooed Glorfindel from their rooms. He didn’t want the blond to say the words that would take away his happiness.

 

Elrohir had a pretty good idea what was haunting Erestor and wished there were some magical words that would take away the Elf’s fears, but there weren’t any. Now that he had finished weaving the circlet into Erestor’s hair, he stepped away from the dressing table and opened Glorfindel’s closet. “What do you want to wear?”

 

Erestor slowly rose to his feet and joined the half-Elf. He pointed at the mauve robes Glorfindel loved to see him in.

 

“A good choice,” said Elrohir, pleased. He straightened the fabric and placed the robes on the bed. Erestor had disappeared into the bathroom and emerged a few moments later, wearing a beige linen shirt that would go underneath the robes. He allowed Elrohir to help him into the robes and then let the half-Elf fuss over his hair again.

 

“Perfect.” Elrohir nodded his head once. “Glorfindel will fall in love with you all over again." He collected a pair of soft leather boots, and whilst Erestor stepped into them, he watched the elder Elf closely.

 

Erestor still felt skeptical, looking into the mirror once more. It was obvious that he had changed these last few months, and that was due to everyone’s apparent care. He seriously doubted he could have coped with his father’s visit without everyone’s help. Elrohir and Thranduil especially had made him see how much they cared about him.

 

And Glorfindel? The blond was a completely different matter. What he felt for Glorfindel was so deep, so unique, that his heart wept when the Elda wasn’t close; like now.

 

“Erestor?”

 

Elrohir and Erestor looked at the doorway, seeing Thranduil standing there. The Elf carried a small wooden box in his right hand and when he advanced on Erestor, he presented the box to the nervous Elf. A few days ago, Erestor had come to him, asking for help, which he had happily supplied. “I hope this is was what you were looking for.”

 

Elrohir strained to see the contents of the box when Erestor opened it, but all he caught was a flash of gold in the sunlight. Following tradition, Erestor and Glorfindel had decided to exchange wedding bands and he figured that this one was meant to go on the Elda’s finger.

 

Erestor gasped. “Aye, it is beautiful.” Smiling weakly, he looked at Thranduil. “Thank you for taking care of his for me.” He had known he could count on his former protector. After slipping the small box into one of his pockets, he slowly wrapped his arms around Thranduil’s shoulders. He had begun to realize that his touches and embraces were welcomed by his friends, but he still felt hesitant reaching out in this way to any other than Glorfindel.

 

Thranduil carefully returned the embrace, as Erestor trembled against him. “You have come such a long way, Erestor. You have made me proud.”

 

Pulling back just enough to look at Thranduil, Erestor raised an eyebrow. The blond was still holding him close, and the expression in Thranduil’s eyes was reassuring. Now that Erestor was letting his guard down, he found it easier to welcome a friend’s touch. “Proud?”

 

Thranduil smiled warmly before addressing his former protégé. “I already felt as protective as a father when it came down to you, Erestor, but now I feel as proud as a father would of his son.”

 

Erestor blushed fiercely. He should have known Thranduil would say something like that. “But I am not your son.”

 

Thranduil’s features contorted in displeasure. “Why do you say that?”

 

“It is the truth,” replied Erestor, averting his eyes. Suddenly the loose embrace was becoming awkward, but Thranduil refused to release him.

 

Choosing his words carefully, Thranduil said, “I would be honored if you looked upon me as your father.” Eridhren had been a pitiful excuse for a parent and Thranduil wanted Erestor to know that he did have a family if he wanted one. “My wife greatly cared about you and we even tried to convince your father to let us raise you. If he had agreed, you would have grown up as my son.”

 

Elrohir beamed at hearing Thranduil’s words and gently poked Erestor’s side. “Do it,” he whispered impatiently. Whenever Legolas mentioned Thranduil, it was with much love and admiration in his voice. Thranduil made an excellent father and Elrohir strongly suspected his former tutor did need someone in his life to fulfill that parental role.

 

Erestor’s blush deepened. “I am not worthy of such an honor.”

 

“Ah, but you are!” Thranduil pulled Erestor close, hugged him tight and planted a chaste kiss on the younger Elf’s hair. “You are one of the kindest souls I have ever met… my son.”

 

Hearing those last two words brought tears to Erestor’s eyes. Eridhren had never called him his son and never had there been a kind and gently tone to his father’s voice. Feeling emotional, he briefly rested his head on Thranduil’s shoulder, relishing the feel of the powerful arms around him. A few weeks ago, being held like that would have truly upset him. “Diola lle, Adar.”

 

Thranduil’s eyes radiated pride, hearing Erestor thank him and call him father. Looking past Erestor, his gaze locked with Elrohir, who was smiling warmly.

 

“Come, Erestor, it is time to go to the Halls of Fire. Glorfindel will be waiting impatiently,” said Elrohir, when Erestor finally stepped away from Thranduil, breaking the embrace. “It is time to speak the vows and to become one soul.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Glorfindel nervously looked at Elrond. “Would you mind checking on them? What can possibly be keeping them?” Flanked by Elrond, Elladan and Legolas, he stood in the Hall of Fire, impatiently waiting for Erestor to arrive.

 

“He is not late –yet-,” said Elrond amused. “Do not worry, meldir. Erestor will be on time.” This was a joyous day indeed. Finally two souls would become one and he was happy that Erestor and Glorfindel would live their lives united in love and understanding.

 

Glorfindel looked over at Elladan and whispered, “Are you sure you have the ring? You did not lose it?”

 

Elladan, grinning at the blond’s nervousness, showed him the box, which held the ring Glorfindel intended for Erestor. “It is safe and sound.”

 

Glorfindel shuffled his feet, wishing Erestor would hurry. His heart ached now that the other half of his soul wasn’t near. He hadn’t thought it possible, but being apart from Erestor hurt physically. The next time he was sent on a mission or patrol he either had to take Erestor with him –which wasn’t really an option - or suffer heartbreak, being away from his dark-haired lover. Sighing deeply, his gaze shifted to the doorway, hoping Erestor would appear there any moment now.

 

Elrond placed his hand on the blond’s arm in an effort to reassure Glorfindel. “Thranduil and Elrohir are with him. They will make sure Erestor gets here.”

 

“What if he has had second thoughts?” Glorfindel frowned, feeling miserable. “What if he realizes…”

 

“Look,” whispered Legolas into Glorfindel’s ear. “They have arrived.”

 

The worry faded from Glorfindel’s mind, seeing his lover wearing the circlet and the mauve robes that he loved to see him in. “Erestor…” He nearly broke out into a run, wanting to wrap his arms around his lover, but Elrond’s hand, resting on his arm kept him in place.

 

Erestor now began to blush. Elrohir and Thranduil had reassured him that Glorfindel hadn’t changed his mind and now that the blond was waiting for him, he felt incredibly relieved. Glorfindel still wanted him! Swaying momentarily, he felt Thranduil rest a hand against the small of his back for support. He gave the elder Elf a thankful look and then came to a halt next to Glorfindel, who immediately offered him his hand. Erestor curled his fingers possessively around Glorfindel’s and their gazes entwined.

 

Thranduil and Elrohir remained standing behind Erestor, just in case their charge needed their support. The Sinda Elf smiled at Elrond, exchanging a pleased look with his lover.

 

Elrohir’s eyes were drawn to Legolas, who soundlessly moved toward him to stand at his side, slipping his hand into the half-Elf’s.

 

Elrond cleared his throat, trying to gain the couple’s attention. “Erestor? Glorfindel?” Required to remain serious, he chuckled privately, whilst keeping a straight face. The two Elves had a hard time tearing their gazes away from another to look at him.

 

Erestor forced his eyes away from Glorfindel and stared at Elrond. He was constantly repeating his vows mentally, afraid he would forget the words when the moment came to speak them.

 

Glorfindel continued to stare at Erestor. He should be focusing on Elrond as well, but he was relieved that Erestor hadn’t changed his mind and still wanted to take the vows. Erestor had never looked more attractive to him; the circlet and golden beads already told everyone who wanted to know that Erestor was his, and he cherished the fact that his lover had been willing to wear them for him tonight. Ignoring Elrond, he whispered, “You look beautiful tonight, nîn amdir.”

 

Erestor radiated warmth and affection. He gently rubbed his lover’s knuckles and briefly brought Glorfindel’s hand to his lips, bestowing a kiss on the back. “You are a vision too, nîn faer.” Glorfindel had dressed in mint robes and wore a dark green cloak, which brought out the golden glow to his hair. “I love you…”

 

Elrond cleared his throat again, this time giving them a stern look. “I would like to start now.”

 

Glorfindel chuckled softly and gave Erestor an apologetic look. “Later,” he said, hinting at the upcoming night, which most certainly would be filled with passionate lovemaking. To his delight, Erestor squirmed next to him, already craving that intimacy.

 

Elrond raised an eyebrow, hoping they would finally let him proceed. Taking Glorfindel’s nod as his cue, he said, “The Hall of Fire is always warm, always bright, and when I look upon the two of you, I see warmth and fire in your gazes and touches. A fiery love binds the two of you, which started as a fragile spark - which could have easily been smothered by the past. But instead it grew stronger and blazed radiantly.” 

 

Erestor’s gaze met Glorfindel’s again and their fingers remained tightly entwined.

 

Elrond continued, realizing he wouldn’t have their full attention during this ceremony. They were too focused on one another… and wasn’t that the way it should be? “Both of you prepared vows. Who wants to speak them first?”

 

Erestor nodded quickly, still scared he might forget the words. “May I go first?”

 

Glorfindel smiled indulgently. “Of course.”

 

Erestor swallowed past the lump that had formed in his throat. “Glorfindel, I thought long and hard about what to say, and always the same words tumbled from my lips. I love you, I love you, I love you. I have loved you since you arrived in Imladris, but I hid my feelings. I was so certain that you would reject me and hurt me that I never dared to let my feelings show.”

 

“Aiya, nîn ind,” whispered Glorfindel, rubbing Erestor’s fingers.

 

“Please let me continue.” Erestor drew in a deep breath. “But now that I do have you, I vow to love you, protect you and make you happy. When you are sad, I will cheer you up. When you are troubled, I will listen to you. When you are happy, I will laugh with you. I want to be there for you as long as you will live. I will never stop loving you.”

 

Glorfindel’s eyes were swimming and he longed to wrap his arms around Erestor, but he couldn’t, not yet. He had to wait until the ceremony had been completed. In the mean time, he settled for running his fingertips over the palm of Erestor’s hands.

 

“The ring…” whispered Thranduil, when Erestor continued to stare at Glorfindel.

 

Thranduil’s voice broke Erestor from his reverie. He regretted letting go of Glorfindel’s hands for the briefest of moments, but he had to, opening the box and removing the ring from it.

 

Glorfindel’s heart missed a beat when Erestor slipped the ring around his finger.

 

“I want you to have this ring because it symbolizes my love for you.” It was a stunning gold ring in the shape of a heart, and in its center sat a ruby, sparkling with a fiery glow. “You have captured my heart, and it now beats only for you,” finished Erestor shyly.

 

“Oh, Erestor…” Glorfindel was unable to keep his distance any longer and folded his arms around his dark-haired lover, pulling him close and deeply inhaling his scent. “My heart beats in the same rhythm as yours, nîn ind. It always will… until it stops beating all together.”

 

Erestor breathed a relieved sigh, realizing Glorfindel liked his gift. “And so will mine…”

 

Elrond sighed dramatically, wondering why they had asked him to be master of the ceremony. He had the distinct impression that they didn’t need one. “Glorfindel, are you ready to say your vows?”

 

Glorfindel nodded eagerly. He reluctantly released Erestor from the hug, but gathered his lover’s hands close to his own chest, holding them there. “Erestor, a few months ago I found love where I least expected it. For centuries I allowed you to keep me at a distance when I should have been trying to look behind your mask of indifference. And when I finally did, I looked at the face of love instead. Erestor, you are my life. I will always love and cherish you -- protect you if necessary and my heart will always, -always- be yours to command. You are my life, nîn ind.”

 

Elladan stepped forward and handed him the jewelry box, which Glorfindel quickly opened.

 

Erestor’s eyes widened, when Glorfindel slipped the ring onto his finger. It was a beautiful golden ring, adorned with a golden flower and leaves, set with emeralds.

 

Seeing the expression in Erestor’s eyes, Glorfindel explained, “Imladris’ finest goldsmith worked on it day and night. I want you to wear the golden flower of Gondolin, nîn ind.”

 

Struck speechless, Erestor flung himself at Glorfindel and kissed him, hard, on his lips.

 

Elrond chuckled and met Thranduil’s pleased gaze. “May Elbereth bless your love and keep you safe.” Actually, he wondered if Erestor and Glorfindel had heard him at all, as they were kissing one another passionately.

 

Elrohir sighed blissfully, and squeezed Legolas’ hand, which rested in his. Looking at his new lover, he wondered if Legolas also wanted to kiss him. They hadn’t kissed yet, preferring to let everything happen in its natural pace. Suddenly Elladan poked him in his side.

 

“What are you waiting for? Kiss him!” Elladan grinned, wickedly, seeing his twin shuffle his feet.

 

Moving closer, Elrohir rested his hand at the nape of the blond’s neck, and then placed a gentle kiss on Legolas’ lips.

 

Legolas eagerly accepted and answered the kiss, pulling Elrohir even closer. Once his lips were released he looked dotingly at Elrohir; there was no need for words. Both knew their love would prosper in time.

 

Thranduil, who had walked up behind Elrond, wrapped his arms around the half-Elf’s waist and pressed him close.

 

Erestor and Glorfindel had to break the kiss, growing breathless, and they looked apologetically at Elrond. In the end, Erestor said, “Thank you for everything, Elrond. I do not know what would have happened if you had not given me sanctuary all these centuries ago…” His voice trailed off, unable to finish.

 

Glorfindel hugged him tight, disliking the saddened tone to his mate’s voice. “But all is well now. You had to travel a long and weary road, but it led you here, right into my arms. And you feel so right in them.”

 

Erestor gave Glorfindel a warm smile. “Aye, it feels right being in them.”

 

Glorfindel nuzzled the back of his mate’s neck. Yes, it was true; the mask of indifference was gone and what shone from Erestor’s face was love. Pure love.

 

Burying Erestor in a tight embrace, he entwined their fingers and rested them against his chest, just above his heart. Elbereth had truly blessed them and he would love Erestor until the End of Days.

 

 

April 2003


	31. Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to Dinif en qualen.  
> Learn Erestor's background and what made him turn to Imladris when he was only a youngster. One could call it a prequel, but I would advise readers to read Dinif en qualen first. Because then the tension remains best!

Flight

Part 1

Thranduil raised a hand as a goodbye and then turned his horse around and left, heading home.

 

Dazed, Erestor looked over his shoulder. He still couldn’t believe he was actually fleeing Mirkwood.

 

Eridhren would be raging with fury now that he had escaped his clutches. Sighing tiredly, Erestor patted the mare’s back and urged her on. He had to reach Imladris as quickly as possible. Thranduil wouldn’t tell Eridhren his destination, but what if his father had left as well and was now tracking him down? Shudders traveled down his spine at the thought that his father could be hiding behind the next hill.

 

“Hurry like the wind,” he said pleadingly, and the mare increased her speed. Holding onto the saddle, desperation overwhelmed him. What if he was turned away in Imladris? What if Elrond Peredhel refused him asylum? What if…?

 

“Stop it,” he ordered himself. He was only driving himself insane asking these questions. He had to believe he had escaped and that he was free now. Free. Had he ever been free before? No.

 

He traveled swiftly and only stopped when the mare was growing tired. Building a small fire, he sat down, hugging his knees close and shivering. His eyes scanned his surroundings, scared that his father would unexpectedly pounce on him. Darkness surrounded him when Ithil hid behind heavy clouds, and the branches, which he had thrown in the fire, suddenly snapped, making him jump to his feet.

 

Gathering his cloak close to him, he forced himself to calm down. Slowly, he lowered himself back onto the damp earth and groaned at the pain the motion caused. Until now he had felt numb, but now the places his father had left bruised were starting to ache. Raising a shaky hand, he touched his black and blue face. His father hadn’t held back and had cruelly back-handed him several times.

 

Shivering, he stared into the fire. His father had not taken rejection well, but what had he been supposed to do? Let his father rape him? The violation would have killed him eventually. No, he hadn’t had a choice. Fleeing had been his only option. But then his father had caught him, thrown him onto the floor and had started to beat and kick him. Raising his arms, he had tried to protect his head, but his father had managed to grab hold of him and his sharp fingernails had dug into the back of his neck, drawing blood.

 

In the middle of this mayhem, he had succeeded in freeing himself and he had run into Thranduil’s throne room. The King of Mirkwood and his lady had protected him before and he hoped Thranduil would take pity on him. He had hidden behind the throne, and when he had heard Thranduil’s footsteps, he had flung himself at the King, not caring what the elder Elf might think of him.

 

He had whimpered softly when Thranduil had caught him, instantly checking him for serious injuries. And what he had found had obviously angered the King, who had shooed him into his private rooms whilst ordering his guards to bring him Eridhren.

 

Sobbing in Aewithôn’s arms, he had listened to Thranduil rage whilst the King had paced his quarters. Gathering his courage, he had pleaded with the elder Elf, begging him to help him - but how, he did not know. In the end, Thranduil had turned around and had advised him to travel to Imladris where Elrond Half-Elven would hopefully grant him asylum.

 

When he had mounted the mare, he had heard Eridhren’s voice carrying through the corridor. Petrified, he had stared at Thranduil, who had grabbed the reins of his horse, and together they had headed for the forest.

 

And now here he was, seated next to a dying fire, shaking himself to pieces, but he preferred the cold and loneliness to his father’s cruelty. Somehow, he would survive, and maybe Elrond would allow him to stay in Imladris. He wasn’t without skills. Thranduil had made sure he’d had a good education, and he had been copying scrolls for the King. Maybe Elrond needed another scribe? He hoped so.

 

Curling up on the cold earth, he laid down his head to rest and shivered all through the night until Arien finally rose again. The shivers still coursed through his body, telling him just how scared he really was. “Don’t think of him. Don’t think of him.” Every time he thought of his father, the shivers worsened. He had to get this under control before he arrived in Imladris. He didn’t want Elrond to grow suspicious and send him back. By Elbereth, he still hadn’t reached his majority! If Elrond found out, the Peredhel would surely send him back to his father.

 

Biting his bottom lip, he tiredly climbed onto the mare’s back again. He still had several days of travel ahead of him and wasn’t sure he had the stamina to follow through. He had to take extra care of the mare, making sure she stayed healthy and in shape, for he would never be able to walk the distance to Imladris. “Hartha,” he said, naming her 'hope', for she was his only way to escape his father, “please take me to Imladris. Don’t forsake me.”

 

The mare snorted softly and Erestor bent down, resting his upper body against her warm neck. “Please take me away from my father…”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Three days later, he raised his weary eyes to look upon Imladris for the first time in his life. The sight was breathtaking, and so very different from Mirkwood that tears appeared in his eyes. Imladris rested in Arien’s warm sunbeams, and a soft breeze rustled the leaves. His heart contracted painfully, praying to Elbereth that he would be allowed to stay here. But could he be that lucky?

 

Reaching for the water flask, he allowed the last droplet to drip into his mouth. Now that they had finally arrived, he felt drained. His stomach had long stopped growling and his throat felt awfully dry. Maybe he could drink of the river Bruinen and quench his thirst. “We are almost there, mellon-nîn,” he said, urging Hartha on.

 

When they finally reached the Bruinen, Hartha immediately began to drink. Weakened by the lack of food and sufficient water, Erestor lowered himself onto the ground and promptly collapsed near the river. Reaching for the water, he cupped his hands and drank greedily.

 

A branch snapped behind him and, spooked, he looked over his shoulder. He was terrified when the sentries appeared. A sword was aimed at his throat and his entire body shook.

 

“Get to your feet.”

 

Erestor tried to obey, but his legs refused to carry him. “I cannot…” Would they have mercy on him and help him? “Please… Take me to Lord Elrond…”

 

“Why do you wish to speak to him?” One sentry stared suspiciously at him. “You are from Mirkwood.” He had instantly recognized the colors and braids Erestor was wearing. “Why should we allow one of Thranduil’s spies to speak to our Lord?”

 

Erestor flinched. “I am no spy! I seek refuge here. Please…” Exhausted, his eyes closed momentarily. “I beseech you… Let me speak to your master.” He didn’t know what he would do if they turned him away. Die in the wilderness, probably. He didn’t possess the necessary skills to survive in the wild. Or maybe he would fade?

 

The three sentries discussed the matter privately and then turned to face him. “We will take you to our master.”

 

“Thank you,” whispered Erestor, relieved. “But I am afraid I cannot get to my feet any more. I am so tired…” His voice faltered when exhaustion overwhelmed him. Hartha nudged against him and he grabbed hold of her neck, feeling thankful when the mare helped him back to his feet. “I will try to walk…”

 

Suddenly a pair of strong hands encircled his waist, steadying him. The next moment, his knees buckled beneath him, and he released a strangled yelp when darkness descended over him as he lost consciousness.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond studied the unconscious Elfling, lying in a warm bed and tucked safely beneath soft blankets. When his sentries had told him they had found a Mirkwood Elf, he had grown suspicious. He hadn’t seen one of Thranduil’s subjects for centuries, so what was this particular Elf doing here?

 

When the sentries had delivered the unconscious Elf to the healing house, he had told them to take him to one of the rooms, where the healers could tend to the dark-haired Elf. He had been shocked, seeing how young the Elf was, and doubted he had reached majority yet. What was an Elfling doing this far away from home?

 

Seating himself on a comfortable chair next to the bed, he continued to search the Elfling’s features. His face was heavily bruised, and the healers had told him that they had discovered several other bruises on the Elf’s arms, back and chest. He had quickly reached the conclusion that the Elfling had received a particularly brutal beating, and had felt somewhat protective, considering the dark-haired Elf’s age.

 

Using a cool, wet cloth, he wiped away the beads of sweat that had formed on the Elfling’s brow. “Who are you and what are you doing here?” He couldn’t dismiss the notion that he was one of Thranduil’s spies, but his young age and injuries didn’t support that theory. A soft groan attracted his attention, and he tensed when the dark eyes filled with awareness.

 

Erestor blinked once, twice, trying to establish where he was. This room was alien to him; he had never been in here before. As his eyes scanned the room, his breath caught, finding an elder Elf staring at him. The dark-haired Elf’s sharp glance quickly warned him that this was someone to reckon with, and the dignity and pride that clung to him made Erestor lower his eyes respectfully.

 

Elrond smiled, seeing the respect in the dark eyes, before the younger Elf averted them. “You are in Imladris, in the Last Homely House, and I am a healer.” There was no reason to reveal his identity just yet.

 

Erestor shyly peeked at the elder Elf.

 

Elrond leaned forward in the chair, his eyes searching the younger Elf’s face. “What is your name, Elfling?” Seeing the hesitation in the dark eyes, he added, “And tell me the truth.”

 

Erestor sighed; indeed, he had briefly considered giving a false name, but he seriously doubted he would get away with lying. Even Thranduil had been able to tell when he was lying. “It is Erestor.”

 

“Erestor,” said Elrond, thoughtfully, leaning back in his chair. “And have you reached your majority yet, Erestor?”

 

Now he truly panicked. “Aye, I have, only a few days ago. Please, you must believe me!” Growing hysterical, he threw off the blankets, but he froze as waves of pain coursed through his battered body. The wounds Eridhren had inflicted were still healing.

 

Elrond could easily tell Erestor was lying, but why? “You hail from Mirkwood?”

 

“I am no spy! I do not know why the sentries thought I was one, but I am not! I am a scribe!” Erestor shook like a leaf and bit his bottom lip nervously, not even realizing that it had begun to bleed.

 

“Calm yourself,” said Elrond, finally realizing he was dealing with a severely frightened Elfling. Following his instincts, he decided to give Erestor the benefit of the doubt. “Why did you leave Mirkwood?”

 

Erestor was at a loss for words. What would satisfy the elder Elf’s curiosity? When he had fled from Mirkwood he hadn’t been thinking straight, and now he had to come up with a believable explanation. Recalling that Thranduil wasn’t loved by the Rivendell Elves, he hoped for the best when he said, “I defied the King and was banished.”

 

/Another lie,/ registered Elrond, who was growing interested in the younger Elf. Seeing Erestor shake himself to pieces, he asked, “Why did you come to Imladris?”

 

“I want to beg Lord Elrond to allow me sanctuary here. I am a hard worker and I will do whatever it takes to be allowed to stay. Just do not send me back!”

 

Elrond rubbed the bridge of his nose, whilst still studying the younger Elf, who was clearly panicking. “Be truthful,” he said eventually. “Have you reached your majority yet?”

 

Erestor averted his eyes, realizing he had failed to mislead the elder Elf. “Not yet.”

 

“How many years before you reach your majority?”

 

“Ten more years,” whispered Erestor, shakily.

 

“Then you should still be with your parents.” Elrond never expected Erestor to start to sob, but when the younger Elf did, he reached out instinctively, trying to comfort him. His eyes widened, seeing Erestor violently flinch away from him. The younger Elf didn’t want to be touched. Why?

 

“Please do not send me back! I work hard and require little.” Erestor pleadingly locked eyes with the elder Elf. Maybe if he could convince this Elf then he would also be able to convince Elrond, should he be allowed to meet the half-Elf.

 

Elrond leaned back into the comfort of his chair and noticed how Erestor relaxed once he was no longer in his immediate proximity. /He was beaten, brutally at that, and fled from Mirkwood. I should not trust him, but I do. There is innocence in his eyes and he is obviously terrified of being sent back. Who scared and beat him like that?/

 

“Please, give me a chance to plead my case with Lord Elrond. If you send me back now, I… I will die, somehow…” Desperation overwhelmed him and he bowed his head in defeat. “Please do not send me back.”

 

Elrond finally reached a decision, hoping he would eventually find out what had driven the Elfling to seek refuge in Imladris. “You will rest for the new few days. Stay in bed, eat and drink.”

 

Erestor’s eyes widened in disbelief. “I can stay?” Had he really convinced the healer to let him stay until Lord Elrond would decide over his fate?

 

“Aye,” said Elrond, rising to his feet, “You may stay.”

 

“Thank you,” whispered Erestor from the bottom of his heart.

 

Elrond walked over to the doorway, still studying the frightened Elfling. Something about Erestor made him feel protective, though he couldn’t explain why. “Rest. You are safe now.” He was surprised, seeing the impact his words had. Erestor seemed to collapse into himself, finally showing his physical and emotional exhaustion. Stepping into the corridor, he recalled that his chief librarian still needed another scribe.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Hearing footsteps startled Erestor and he quickly sat upright in bed. He had been resting for two days now. A different healer to the one he had talked to had looked after him, making sure he ate and rested. The bruises were finally fading, and this healer had also tended to the wounds at the back of his neck. Staring at the doorway, he wondered what would happen next.

 

Elrond stepped into the room, inclined his head in greeting, and sat down next to the bed. “How do you fare today?”

 

“I am feeling much better, thank you.” He tried to control his curiosity, but in the end, he blurted out, “Do you know what will happen to me? Will Lord Elrond allow me to stay?”

 

Elrond watched Erestor closely whilst saying, “I have spoken to him, and he feels strongly that you should return to your family, Elfling.” Erestor’s reaction startled him. The younger Elf became deadly pale and his entire body began to shake. The fingernails dug into the sheets, clawing at them. Terrified eyes met his, and then the pleading began again.

 

“Please, do not send me back! I cannot go home, never! Please do not condemn me to death!” Panicking, Erestor left the bed and dropped onto his knees in front of the healer, who seemed to have some influence since he was allowed to talk to Lord Elrond. “Please, I will do whatever you want!”

 

Elrond regretted upsetting this fragile mind and quickly gathered Erestor’s hands in his. “Calm down, Elfling. There is no reason to panic. You may stay here in Imladris.” Erestor seemed to choke, hearing those words, and Elrond reacted by soothingly rubbing the Elfling’s back. “Calm down and breathe slowly.” Erestor was now panting hard and his eyes nearly bulged from their sockets. “There is no reason to panic, pen-neth, and calm yourself.” Elrond now knelt next to Erestor, holding him whilst the anxiety attack continued. He grew worried, realizing that the mere notion of being sent back to his family had driven Erestor straight into a panic attack. “Be calm, be at peace. You can stay here. You do not have to go back to Mirkwood.”

 

The words finally registered in Erestor’s troubled mind and he clung to them, slowly regaining his calm. “How can you say… such a thing?” he said, still panting softly. “Only Lord Elrond...can make such a… decision.” His shoulders slumped in defeat. “I want to stay...so badly. I want to remain alive... I am too young to die, please…”

 

Elrond wasn’t able to make much sense of the Elfling’s ramblings, but when he felt Erestor move away from him, he allowed it. “Worry no longer, pen-neth. You may stay.” Erestor raised his tearstreaked face and their eyes met. Elrond slowly lifted his hand and pretended to not notice Erestor’s flinch when he gently stroked the long, tangled hair. “You never asked me what my name was… Do you want to know?”

 

“Your name?” Erestor frowned through the tears that were rolling down his face.

 

“My name is Elrond Half-Elven—“ He was forced to stop talking when Erestor stared at him in shock. Nodding his head, he waited for the Elfling to calm himself and then continued, “I regret not telling you earlier, but I wanted to know why you came here, and I was afraid you would not tell me if you knew who I was.”

 

Erestor couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You… are… Lord… Elrond?” he stuttered in disbelief. At once, he pulled back, feeling uncomfortable being this close to the fabled Elf-lord. “I apologize for… for taking up this much of your precious time.”

 

His curiosity piqued, Elrond rose from the floor, followed by Erestor, who swayed on his feet. “Sit down, Elfling.”

 

Erestor obeyed at once, trembling nervously. “I was serious, my lord. I am no spy and I will work hard.” His eyes downcast, he tried to control his growing fear. “Will you truly let me stay?” Peeking through his eyelids at the Elf-lord, he wondered how low Elrond’s opinion was of him. “You won’t even know I am here.” He planned to make himself invisible, and hopefully Elrond would forget his very existence. All he wanted was a quite and peaceful life.

 

“My wife, Celebrian, will assign quarters to you where you may stay as long as you wish. If you desire to work for me, you may ask my chief librarian, Collneled, if he requires your services. You mentioned you were trained as scribe?”

 

Erestor nodded shyly. “I will work to repay you for your kindness. Thank you for letting me stay.”

 

Elrond smiled reassuringly. He still didn’t know why Erestor had sought refuge here, but he hoped to find out in time.

 

TBC


	32. Chapter 32

Part 2

Adjustment.

 

 

Erestor felt hesitant to venture outside now that he was being released from the healing house. Everyone had been friendly toward him once they had learned the Elfling was allowed to stay. He stared at the doorway, wondering where he was supposed to go now.

 

“Erestor?”

 

His breath caught, hearing his name spoken in such a gentle, liquid tone. A silver-haired she-Elf had appeared in the doorway and kindly smiled at him. Aewithôn was beautiful, but she didn’t compare to this ethereal being. “Milady?” He tentatively rose to his feet and bowed his head.

 

“I am Celebrian, Elrond’s wife. Let me show you to your quarters.” When her husband had asked her to take the Elfling under her wing she had approved at once.

 

Shyly raising his eyes, he took in her magical sight. His eyes were drawn toward her hands, which she held protectively in front of her abdomen. And only then did he realize, “You are pregnant.” Realizing he had blurted it out aloud, he quickly covered his mouth with his hand.

 

Celebrian noticed his nervousness and waved his fears away. “Aye, I am pregnant with twins, or at least my dear husband thinks so. He is convinced I will give birth to two boys.”

 

“I apologize, milady. I should not have—“

 

Celebrian cut him short and extended her hand. “Come with me.” Erestor looked so young, and her awakening motherly feelings urged her to reach out. The way Erestor stared at her hand made her realize how shy and insecure the Elfling was. “Let me show you to your room. And later, I will take you to the library. Collneled is already waiting for you.”

 

Erestor cautiously placed his hand in hers. He would rather not touch her, feeling like he defiled her splendor with his touch, but her kind eyes assured him that it was all right. He followed obediently when she led him through the corridors, until she halted in front of a door. She opened it and then pulled him inside.

 

“I hope you like your new room,” she said, smiling warmly.

 

“It is bigger than my old one,” muttered Erestor, absentmindedly. “I like it. Thank you.”

 

She seemed to float past him and pulled him along again. For such a delicate creature she did seem to possess an amazing strength, and he let her, following suit.

 

“The library is this way.” Her soft laughter echoed through the corridor.

 

Erestor felt enchanted by her. His mother had died giving birth to him and he found himself fantasizing about her looking just like Celebrian. His mother had been flaxen-haired, - at least that was what his father had told him, during the many accusations the Elf had aimed at him. He bowed his head, still hearing his father rage at him, telling him over and over again that he had caused her death; that he was a murderer.

 

“Erestor?” Cocking her head, she studied him. She understood her husband’s worry about the young one. Erestor looked like a truly lost soul. She opened the door to the library and shooed him inside.

 

Feeling nervous, Erestor involuntarily met dark grey eyes, which belonged to an elder Elf, dressed in green. That must be the librarian Elrond had mentioned. Respectfully, he bowed his head. “Greetings, I am Erestor.”

 

Collneled nodded once. “Elrond told me you desire to be a scribe here?”

 

Erestor nodded as well. “I would be honored to work here.”

 

Celebrian smiled at both of them. “Collneled, I entrust him to you. Please make sure he does not tire himself out too much? Lord Elrond thinks he should pace himself for a few more days.”

 

“Of course, milady.” Collneled smiled, watching her leave, and then turned to Erestor. “Let us find out how good… or bad… your writing skills are.”

 

Erestor followed the chief librarian. His eyes greedily devoured the thousands of books that made up Elrond’s library. He had always loved to read. It had allowed him to escape reality.

 

“Copy this scroll in your best writing,” said Collneled. Elrond had told him to treat Erestor kindly, and he realized he would have done so even without his Lord’s order. Erestor was timid, even seemed frightened. Looking out of the window, he reckoned that Arien would set in two, maybe three hours. “I will check on you when Ithil appears.”

 

Erestor nodded obediently, dipped the quill in the ink and began copying the scroll.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Collneled studied his newest scribe, impressed by the Elfling’s concentration and motivation to copy the scroll in his best handwriting. He had seldom seen such determination in such young eyes. Walking up behind Erestor, he slowly rested his hand on the Elfling’s shoulder, about to praise him for his work. He was absolutely stunned when Erestor flinched away from him, quickly stepping away and pushing over the ink in the process. The black liquid flowed down the parchment, rendering his work useless.

 

Erestor’s breathing was too fast and he fought down another panic attack. He hadn’t heard the librarian approach! His gaze shifted from the Elf to the scroll and he released a shocked gasp, seeing the damage the ink had done. “Oh, I am so sorry…”

 

“No,” said Collneled, “this was not your fault. I startled you.” Why had Erestor reacted like that? “I will clean this up.”

 

“No! I will!” He was about to protest once more, but then the librarian’s stern gaze silenced him. He felt like an utter failure. He had worked so hard and had hoped Collneled would approve of his work; now everything had been ruined because he was so jumpy.

 

“Elfling, go for a walk in the gardens, eat and then sleep. Return here in the morning.” Collneled was determined to have a word with Elrond. Maybe the half-Elf knew what had spooked Erestor. “And I do not want to see you here before Arien has risen, do you understand?”

 

Feeling miserable, Erestor nodded. “Are you sure you want me to return at all?”

 

“As I said just now, it was my fault, not yours. Now go and put this behind you. No harm was done.” He turned Erestor around and gently nudged him toward the exit.

 

Erestor left, feeling more depressed with every step he took. Why had he deluded himself into thinking things would be different here? His father was right; he was good for nothing!

 

“Erestor?” Elrond frowned. He had been on his way to ask Collneled how the Elfling had done when he happened upon a listless Erestor in the corridor.

 

Erestor cringed, unable to meet the Elf-Lord’s eyes. He came to a halt, bowed his head and kept his eyes downcast.

 

The Elfling’s behavior worried Elrond and he stepped up to the younger Elf. “Is something wrong?”

 

“I spilled ink and ruined the scroll I was copying. I am so sorry.”

 

“Was it an accident or did you do it on purpose?” He had to push through the self-contempt that radiated so lividly from Erestor’s eyes.

 

“I would never do it on purpose!” Realizing he had raised his voice, Erestor flinched.

 

“Then stop blaming yourself for accidentally spilling the ink. Now go to your room. I will have one of the maids deliver dinner to your room. Eat, and then go to sleep.”

 

“Yes, milord.” Erestor would never defy Elrond and would do what the half-Elf had said, though he doubted he could sleep.

 

Elrond watched Erestor walk down the corridor and he disliked seeing so much pain in someone that young. He had to talk to his wife. Maybe they could somehow help this tormented young soul.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor lay curled up in his bed, hidden beneath the covers. He couldn’t help listening to every noise that sounded in this wing of the house and he trembled, hearing voices in the corridor. “It is not my father… He is not here… is not….” His body failed to stay vigilant and he fell asleep sometime during the night, dreaming of his father, who was ripping the clothes from his body.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Celebrian smiled dotingly at her husband, who had finally fallen asleep after telling her he was worried about Erestor. Unable to sleep herself, she slipped out of his embrace, pulled on a warm robe and tiptoed into the corridor, trying hard to not wake him. Humming softly, she rubbed her growing belly and smiled, walking down the corridor. Maybe some hot milk would help her sleep.

 

Unexpectedly, soft sobbing reached her ears and she halted in her tracks, trying to pinpoint the source of the pitiful noise. Slowly, she walked down the corridor and then realized who was crying that brokenly. It was the Elfling, Erestor.

 

Shuffling her feet, she wondered what to do. But then she knocked, softly.

 

Not getting a response, she pushed the door ajar, relieved that Erestor hadn’t locked it. Erestor was whimpering softly, and seemed to be pleading with someone.

 

“No… please… no more… stop it…”

 

Suddenly, something moved into place behind her and, startled, she looked over her shoulder. She sighed, realizing it was her husband. “I thought you were asleep.”

 

“I woke when you left.” He quickly gathered his robes around him, fastening them with a belt. “I thought I heard someone crying, but I had no idea it was Erestor.”

 

The Elfling was now struggling against the sheets, which had wrapped themselves around him during the night and soft whimpers left his lips. “No… no more… I can… not…”

 

“What do you think happened to him?” asked Celebrian, worried.

 

“I do not know,” said Elrond, worried as well. “It will take time for him to learn to trust us, maybe even confide in us. But what he needs most, I think, is peace and quiet.”

 

“In that case, he will have it.” Celebrian closed the door behind her and resumed her walk to the kitchen, this time with her husband at her side.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

During the next few weeks, Erestor fell into a comfortable rhythm of working in the library and spending his evenings in his room, or walking in the gardens. Sometimes, Celebrian would seek him out and accompany him on his strolls. They seldom talked, as she respected his silence, which made him in turn more willing to trust her.

 

“Erestor, would you help out my husband this afternoon? Collneled highly praised you and Elrond needs a personal assistant, someone who can create order in his chaotic pile of papers.” Celebrian smiled at him. She had quickly discovered that he adored her, and seldom denied her when she asked him for a favor. “He is working on some road maintenance plans and is becoming frustrated with being unable to come up with a solution to the problem.”

 

“I would be honored to help,” said Erestor shyly. He quickly averted his eyes, hoping she didn’t see the growing affection in them. Celebrian had quickly become the mother he had never had. And Elrond? Elrond was doing his best to make him open up about his past, but he was determined to never mention his father to the half-Elf.

 

Growing tired, Celebrian sat down on a bench. Patting the space next to her, she hoped Erestor would get the hint - and yes, the Elfling sat down, but still remained at a respectful distance. At times like this, she wanted to hug him close. “You seem to feel at home here now. Do you not miss your life at Mirkwood?” She caught the violent shivers that suddenly coursed through his body and berated herself for bringing up something that was obviously painful to Erestor.

 

“I miss Thranduil and Aewithôn.” Erestor’s eyes widened in shock, realizing what he had just revealed to her. He had told Elrond that he had defied the King and had been banished… and now he had admitted to missing the royal couple. What was he doing? He had to remain alert! He couldn’t let his guard down!

 

Celebrian saw the cornered expression in his eyes and refrained from probing deeper. She sighed and rubbed her belly. “Two more months, Erestor, and then the babies will be born.”

 

Relieved that she had changed the subject, he smiled warmly. “Did you decide on names yet?”

 

“Elrond is still convinced they will be boys, so we decided on Elladan for the first born and Elrohir for the youngest. I hope I will one day give birth to a girl as well.” She smiled blissfully.

 

Erestor was at a loss for words, seeing the happiness in her eyes.

 

“Ah, there you are! I finally found you!” Elrond walked up to them and Erestor immediately rose to his feet, bowing respectfully. The half-Elf sighed; he had told Erestor to stop bowing to him, but the Elfling wouldn’t listen. He had been pleasantly surprised, realizing Celebrian and Erestor were becoming friends. Apparently his wife was getting through to the Elfling when he could not.

 

Celebrian, who now rose slowly, reached for her husband. Elrond quickly supported her. “Are you not tiring yourself out?”

 

“I am fine. Stop worrying over me.” Celebrian directed her lovely smile at her husband. “Erestor agreed to help you out this afternoon.”

 

Elrond’s gaze shifted from Celebrian to Erestor, who was still staring at the ground. “Elbereth knows I can use all the help I can get!” he said, jokingly. “But first we should walk Celebrian to her rooms.”

 

Celebrian met Elrond’s gaze when Erestor stayed several steps behind them, keeping his distance. Like her husband, she hoped that Erestor would grow more comfortable with being close to them. The downcast eyes unsettled both Elves.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor made sure that Elrond didn’t hear his sigh when he went through the unsorted pile of papers that covered most of the half-Elf’s desk. How was it possible that Elrond found anything at all? This was such a mess! Not even Thranduil had been so badly organized!

 

Elrond, realizing Erestor felt like he wasn’t being watched, studied the Elfling, who was now shaking his head, sorting out all scrolls. He was discussing these road plans again and was getting fed up with them. There was no way to satisfy all parties involved. No matter where he wanted to build the bridge, someone objected. “We will stop now and discuss this later!”

 

None of his counselors dared to protest and, one by one, they left. Frustrated, Elrond flung the plans onto his desk. He walked over to the balcony doors, opened them and deeply inhaled the sweet air.

 

Erestor shook his head again, and began to sort out the plans, which had fallen onto the floor. Absentmindedly, he scanned them. His father, being one of Thranduil’s advisors, had worked on construction plans in the past and he realized what Elrond’s problem was and how to fix it. But it wasn’t his place to point that out to the ruler of Imladris. He was a mere scribe.

 

“Erestor? Will you join Celebrian and me for dinner tonight?” Elrond turned around and looked at the Elfling. “She finds so much pleasure in your company.” It was true; Celebrian always spoke warmly of Erestor.

 

Erestor choked up. “My place is not at your dining table, my Lord. I am not worthy of such an offer.” He quickly lowered his eyes and continued sorting out the papers. He had already found more of a home here than he ever had at Mirkwood.

 

Elrond, still frustrated from working on the road plans, advanced on Erestor and slowly rested a hand on the Elfling’s shoulder, noticing that he still flinched. “You would make Celebrian very happy if you joined us.”

 

Erestor, feeling nervous, nodded eventually. “As you wish.” There was no way he could deny the Lord of Imladris.

 

“And now I should return to these plans.” Elrond sat down behind his desk, and groaned when Erestor handed him the assorted papers. “I am growing tired of this. Why can I not find a solution that pleases everyone?”

 

Erestor almost opened his mouth to make a suggestion, but then reminded himself that it was not his place to advice the Elf-Lord. Busying himself with alphabetically arranging Elrond’s correspondence, his nervousness increased. Why would they want him to be present at dinner? They had never invited him before, and he had been content to eat dinner in the safe confines of his rooms.

 

Elrond noted Erestor’s jerky movements. He had learned to recognize them as outward signs of the Elfling’s discomfort. Celebrian was doing the right thing in trying to befriend Erestor. They just had to try a little harder.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor shifted uncomfortably on the chair. Celebrian continued to smile at him and Elrond was still complaining about these accursed road plans. Suddenly Elrond released a groan and seemed to rub his shin beneath the table. His eyes widened; had Celebrian kicked her husband?

 

“No more talk of work this evening,” decreed Celebrian. “Sing for us, dear husband.”

 

Erestor actually flushed. /Sing for –us-? Why include me? What am I doing here?/

 

Elrond, still rubbing his shin, pushed back his chair, rose to gather his harp, and began to sing. Erestor, who had never heard the half-Elf sing before, looked at him in wonder; Elrond possessed a unique voice. His eyes were beginning to swim, hearing the emotion in the gentle tone. Suddenly Celebrian’s hand settled on his, trying to rub his knuckles and he needed every ounce of his courage to not pull back. She didn’t deserve the rejection.

 

Long moments later, Elrond finished the song and bowed at the waist when Celebrian praised him. His gaze then shifted to Erestor, realizing the Elfling’s stare was directed at his wife’s hand, resting on top of his. What was going on in Erestor’s head? Celebrian was the right age to be his mother… Did the Elfling need a mother in his life? It did sound logical.

 

“Regretfully, I need to return to my study,” he said, addressing his wife. “Do not wait up for me. These road plans—“

 

Celebrian sighed, silencing him. One of her ladies in waiting hurried to help her rise and then assisted her back to her rooms. She was growing heavier with every passing day.

 

“Ah, Erestor, you should go to bed as well. Someone as young as you still needs lots of sleep, even if you do not realize that.”

 

Realizing he was being dismissed, Erestor rose from his chair and bowed. “Thank you for allowing me to have dinner with you. It is a great honor.”

 

Elrond raised a hand and waved the comment away. “You are welcome to join us again tomorrow evening and now go to sleep, Erestor. You need rest.” He watched the Elfling leave, and swore he could literally see the burden the young Elf carried on his shoulders. “Why won’t you confide in us?” He signaled for one of the servants to refill his glass and indulged himself, emptying it before returning to his study.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor felt like an intruder, leaving Elrond’s study. He had entered without the half-Elf’s permission and was now shaking, hoping his visit had remained unnoticed.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond sat down behind his desk, and went through the plans again, hoping he would finally find a solution. This was definitely driving him insane!

 

Going through the plans, a note suddenly dropped onto his lap. That was strange. He couldn’t remember ever seeing it before. What was it doing here? Scanning it quickly, he realized it was a suggestion to improve the road plans. Now that it had captured his attention, he continued to read, occasionally nodding and whispering ‘yes’.

 

“This would work and it would satisfy all parties.” It was the solution he had been looking for, but had been unable to come up with. The question was; who had found the solution to his problem and had then dropped a note between his papers? Why not tell him personally?

 

“Of course…” There was only one person who would do such a thing. “Erestor.”

 

TBC


	33. Chapter 33

Part 3

Babies

 

 

Elrond watched Erestor closely when the Elfling returned to his study the next morning to finish sorting out all his papers. Erestor seemed even more nervous than usual and the half-Elf distinctly noticed the quick, stolen glances directed at his desk where he had placed the note in front of him, clearly visible. He picked up the piece of paper and turned it around between his fingers. The movement seemed to make Erestor panic, as the Elfling began to pant softly. Recognizing the approaching anxiety attack, Elrond placed the paper on his desk, pushed back his chair and rose to his feet.

 

Erestor seemed to shrink into himself, trying to hide from the half-Elf’s stare, but Elrond refused to look away and advanced on the terrified Elfling.

 

Erestor desperately tried to remain calm, but his nerves were getting the better of him and he turned away from Elrond. He rested his hands against the wall and tried to re-compose himself. Leaving the note on the Elf-Lord’s desk had been a stupid thing to do.

 

“Erestor?”

 

Hearing the softness to Elrond’s tone, he slowly looked over his shoulder; he still didn’t dare to make eye contact. Suddenly Elrond rested his hands on his shoulders, and then turned him around so they were now facing each other. Lowering his eyes, he tried to bring his breathing back under control. “My Lord?”

 

“Why do you fear me?” asked Elrond, in dire need of answers. “Do you not know by now that I mean well?”

 

Shamefaced, Erestor cringed. “I cannot help it.”

 

Elrond sighed, dejectedly. “Tell me, did you leave that note on my desk? The one about the bridge?”

 

Erestor squirmed, wishing Elrond would let go of him so he could flee the room. “I am not sure…”

 

“You are not sure?” Elrond raised an eyebrow curiously. “How can you not be sure? You either wrote it or you did not.”

 

Realizing there was no way out, Erestor sighed shakily. “Aye, I wrote it. I know I should not have, but you seemed so frustrated and the solution was rather simple. I apologize for—“ His nervousness caused him to ramble, but Elrond cut him short.

 

“There is no reason to apologize. I should thank you instead. Thanks to your ingenuity we can now start to build this bridge, which will enable more traders to enter our lands.” Gently pulling him along, he steered Erestor toward the balcony, where a servant had served tea just a moment ago. “Sit down,” said Elrond, signaling for the Elfling to seat himself in one of the comfortable chairs so they could enjoy the morning sun.

 

Erestor sat down obediently, wringing his hands. What had he done? What had he gotten himself in to? Stealing a glance at Elrond, he wondered just how cross the elder Elf was with him. Maybe apologizing again to the Elf-Lord would help? Providing Elrond would allow him to apologize and not cut him down like he had done earlier. “My Lord, I know I was out of line and I should not have written that note and—“ Rambling, he wondered what to say. “I will never do it again! Please… I…”

 

Elrond leaned in closer, took hold of the teapot, and poured the Elfling some herbal tea. “I said it before, calm yourself. You did nothing wrong. I want to compliment you instead.” He handed Erestor a cup of tea and noticed how shaky the hands were that reached for it.

 

The tea nearly sloshed over the rim and Erestor forced himself to act composed, but inwardly he was shaking himself to pieces. He decided to remain quiet and wait for Elrond to address him again. The Elf-Lord was confusing him by not being cross with him.

 

“How did you know that it was the perfect spot to build that bridge?” asked Elrond, genuinely interested.

 

Erestor closed his eyes momentarily, realizing he had to be honest if he wanted the Elf-Lord to remain this mellow. “My… father was advisor to Thranduil and…” He flinched, hearing Elrond’s sharp intake of breath. Apprehensively, he looked at the half-Elf and found a puzzled expression in the blue eyes. “He was often asked to solve a similar problem, and I...” He shrugged his shoulders. “At times I read the reports and saw how he handled the situation. I did nothing special. I merely looked at the facts and—“

 

Elrond studied the Elfling. “Your father is one of Thranduil’s advisors?” Now that was something new!

 

“Aye.” Erestor wished he had never dropped that note onto Elrond’s desk. Now the half-Elf would continue to question him!

 

“You were not banished from Mirkwood then? You did not defy the King as you told me?” Elrond frowned. He wasn’t sure what to make of this new information. But it did confirm his suspicions that Erestor was an innocent and not a spy. “Why did you leave Mirkwood?”

 

Erestor squirmed on the chair. “Please, my Lord, I cannot tell you.”

 

“I order you to tell me.” Elrond was getting fed up with Erestor’s evasive behavior and decided to try a new, somewhat harsher approach. He didn’t want to intimate the Elfling, but he had to know what had happened. “You had been beaten. Is that why you left?”

 

Erestor wrapped his arms around his chest, barely resisting the urge to rock himself in search of comfort. “Aye, I fled because I was afraid for my life.”

 

Elrond leaned in closer, deeply probing the elusive, scared eyes. “Who beat you?”

 

“I cannot tell you…” Erestor’s voice faltered and he pleadingly raised his hands. “My Lord, I did not have a choice. I wanted to stay alive and thus I had to leave. Thranduil, he…”

 

Elrond edged even closer. Realizing that Erestor was pushing back the chair to maintain a safe distance between them, he moved back slightly. The last thing he wanted was to scare Erestor. “What did Thranduil do?” Why did this have to be about his former lover? He prayed to Elbereth that it wasn’t Thranduil who had beaten the Elfling; he had always thought Thranduil was an honorable warrior.

 

“He helped me escape,” whispered Erestor, quickly glancing at Elrond. “Aewithôn and he looked after me, and… he told me to come here. He hoped you would let me stay. I did not have a place to go and I do not know how to survive in the wilderness.”

 

Elrond sipped his tea and signaled for Erestor to follow his example; the Elfling’s voice was hoarse with emotion. He felt somewhat relieved, knowing that Thranduil had aided Erestor and not hurt him. But one question still remained. “Who hurt you? Who beat you so badly?”

 

Erestor averted his eyes once more, sipped, and calmed when the warm liquid flowed down his throat. “I cannot tell you.” Maybe it was misplaced loyalty, or maybe he was afraid that Elrond might contact Thranduil to ask questions about his father, but he clamped down, unable to mutter even a single word.

 

Elrond was at a loss. “Erestor, how can I protect you when I do not know the enemy?”

 

Erestor’s eyes widened. “Protect me?” What was Elrond talking about? “Why would you want to protect me?”

 

Elrond shook his head. “Aiya, Erestor…” What had the Elfling’s life been like for him to be this surprised at hearing that someone wanted to protect him? He was about to address Erestor again when suddenly Lindir stormed onto the balcony, panic radiating from his eyes.

 

“My Lord, your Lady has gone into labor!”

 

Elrond gasped. “But she is not supposed to give birth for another two months!” Instantly worried, he pushed Lindir aside. “Where is she now?”

 

“We took her to the healing house when she told us about her first contraction.” Lindir panted softly. He had run here.

 

Elrond marched into his study, headed for the door and disappeared into the corridor. Lindir turned to leave as well, but then realized Erestor was staring at him in shock. The look in those dark and haunted eyes warned him to not leave the Elfling alone. “Are you coming as well?”

 

Erestor was at a loss for words. Would Lindir allow him to accompany him? But he wasn’t part of this family; Elrond and Celebrian hardly knew him! Why would he be allowed close?

 

Lindir, eager to follow Elrond, simply grabbed Erestor’s arm and pulled him along.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor sat frozen in the corner of the room. Several of Celebrian’s ladies in waiting were moving in and out of the next room, where he occasionally heard Celebrian yelp in pain. Wringing his hands, he tentatively looked at Lindir, who appeared calm, but Erestor swore he could see a bead of sweat sitting on the Elf’s brow. He had never really talked to Lindir, who was Celebrian’s personal assistant when it came down to running the household.

 

Lindir’s long, white hair reached his hips and a cunning expression lay in his grey eyes; now, that piercing gaze was aimed at him. Erestor shivered and cringed when another scream erupted from the next room. “Please do not let her die. Elbereth, please do not take her life.” He was painfully reminded of the fact that his mother had died in child birth.

 

/Murderer! You killed her! If it had not been for you she would still be alive now!/

 

Erestor whimpered softly when his father’s voice echoed in his head. Raising his hands, he buried his face in them, hoping no one noticed his distress.

 

But one did.

 

Lindir seated himself in a chair next to Erestor, observing the Elfling, who looked absolutely terrified. “Lord Elrond is a truly skilled healer, pen-neth. He will take good care of his wife. Before you know it, the cries of newborns will echo through these halls.”

 

Erestor peeked at Lindir through his fingers. Suddenly realizing how ridiculous he must look to the elder Elf, he forced himself to rest his hands in his lap. But now the tears and horror in his eyes showed clearly. The emotional turmoil he was in needed a way out and he stuttered, “I do not want her… to die. She is so young… so kind.”

 

Lindir smiled encouragingly. “Take heart, Elfling, she is the best hands. Lord Elrond will make sure she survives.” He understood Erestor’s fear to a certain degree, but couldn’t shake the feeling there was more to the younger Elf’s panic. “It is only seldom that an Elf dies whilst giving birth.”

 

Unable to hide the tremors that coursed through him, Erestor lowered his eyes. His anxiety was growing and he didn’t want Lindir to witness one of his panic attacks. Maybe if he let out the horrible truth, he would calm down. “My mother did.”

 

Lindir sucked in his breath. Erestor had quickly built a reputation of being reserved and it was a well-known fact that the Elfling seldom revealed personal information. So Lindir was surprised when Erestor continued.

 

“She died after giving birth to me. I never saw her face.” Erestor shook with emotion and he almost rose to his feet to flee the room, but unexpectedly Lindir’s hand came to rest on his. The contact startled him and he involuntarily made eye contact with the elder Elf. The dam broke and an emotional flood was released. “I am a murderer, you know. I killed her.”

 

Lindir’s eyes widened in shock. “A murderer? Aiya, Erestor, you did not kill her! It was most unfortunate that she died, but you are not to blame.” Who had put that idea in the Elfling’s head? “Who told you that you are a murderer?” Who could be so cold, so cruel?

 

“My father…” Erestor suddenly jumped to his feet when a baby cried out in the adjoining room. “That is one…” But Celebrian had been carrying twins. “Let her survive. Please let her survive.”

 

Lindir got to his feet as well and rested a hand on Erestor’s arm, noticing the distinct flinch that traveled through the Elfling’s body. “Your father?” It was beyond him how a father could say something like that to his son when he should have been offering his comfort and unconditional love instead.

 

Until now, Erestor hadn’t fully realized what he had told Lindir, and now that realization set in, he panicked again. “I told you… How could I do that? Promise me… Promise me you won’t tell a living soul!”

 

Taken aback by the fear in Erestor’s eyes, Lindir promised. “I won’t tell anyone.”

 

Erestor calmed somewhat. “Please, Lindir. Keep that promise.” His eyes grew big when a second baby tested his lungs, joining in when his brother cried out.

 

Lindir tightened his hold on Erestor’s arm; the Elfling looked like he was about to flee the room.

 

The door opened and a very tired-looking Elrond appeared. In his arms, he held a baby. “This is Elladan, my firstborn. Elrohir is resting with his mother.”

 

Lindir, the ladies in waiting and several advisors now approached, congratulating Elrond. Erestor stayed at the back, and managed to gaze into the next room, eager to find out how Celebrian was doing.

 

Elrond thanked all present for staying and then Lindir shooed everyone out of the room. Seeing that Erestor was leaving as well, Elrond called the Elfling back. “Erestor? Stay.”

 

Erestor felt frozen, and when Elrond advanced on him, his gaze settled on the baby in the half-Elf’s arms. Black hair already showed on the scalp and large, blue eyes stared at him from beneath long eyelashes. Erestor sighed; the baby was adorable.

 

“Come with me,” instructed Elrond as he returned to his wife’s side.

 

Erestor hesitantly shuffled into the room, and his first gaze was for Celebrian, who looked exhausted, but at the same time she was smiling happily at her youngest son.

 

Elrond sat down on the edge of the bed and gently pulled his wife close, making sure she rested comfortably against him. After placing a tender kiss on her lips, he stared into her eyes and said, “Thank you for this treasure.”

 

Celebrian smiled warmly and placed a kiss on her husband’s brow. Her eyes then searched the room and came to rest on Erestor. “Pen-neth, you must have been worried.”

 

Erestor shakily nodded his head. Curiously, he looked at the baby in Celebrian’s arms. Did all babies look identical when they were just born? But no, these were twins. How would anyone be able to tell them apart? Suddenly Elrohir, resting in Celebrian’s arms, opened his mouth and released an unintelligible sound, making everyone smile. “They are adorable,” whispered Erestor, shyly, uncertain if he was allowed to talk during such an intimate moment.

 

Celebrian gestured for Erestor to approach and sit down on the chair next to the bed. She watched the Elfling closely when he finally obeyed. There was so much pain in his eyes that her heart missed a beat. Although she was exhausted, she had to know what was troubling him so. “Erestor? Why are you in pain?”

 

Maybe it was easier to say the words because he had already told Lindir, but he blurted out, “My mother died after giving birth to me. I was afraid you would die as well.” Lowering his eyes, he tried to stare at the floor, but Elrohir’s big, blue eyes seemed to meet his, which couldn’t possibly be. A newborn couldn’t focus his gaze like that. And yet, it seemed like their gazes met and he instantly fell in love with the big, blue eyes. He didn’t know why, but he ached to hold the babies in his arms. /What is wrong with you? You are a stranger to them! It is amazing that Elrond and Celebrian allow you this close!/

 

Celebrian saw the longing in Erestor’s eyes and cocked her head to whisper into her husband’s ear. “Let him hold Elladan…”

 

Elrond nodded; he had been thinking the same thing. Rising from the bed, he walked over to Erestor and slowly placed the newborn in the Elfling’s arms.

 

Erestor stared in mute shock at the Elf-Lord. “Please don’t, I will drop him, or—“ Feeling a small, warm body in his arms silenced him. Large, blue eyes stared at him and Elladan raised a hand as if reaching for him. Feeling entranced, Erestor gently cradled the small baby to his chest and offered him a finger. Elladan wrapped his tiny fingers around it and pulled, making Erestor smile blissfully. “He likes me.”

 

Elrond gave his wife a loving glance. She would never stop to amaze him. “I love you,” he whispered, returning to her side and kissing her on the lips. Their love was so different from the passion he had shared with Gil-galad, and the silent understanding he had felt with Thranduil. “You are my life…” She had given him life, had given him sons.

 

Celebrian’s smile broke momentarily, staring deeply into her husband’s eyes, and seeing the reflection of others there. She had never been able to make Elrond forget his past loves and she sighed, disappointedly, knowing she had to share his heart with others. Elrohir thankfully cooed and wiggled in her arms, distracting her.

 

“He is probably hungry.” Elrond rose to his feet to retrieve the milk he had asked to be prepared. Celebrian had enough milk to feed one of them, but not two.

 

Erestor, who had been lost staring into Elladan’s big eyes, started when Elrond pressed a milk bottle into his hands. “What?” His gaze was suddenly drawn to Celebrian and he quickly looked away, as she was breastfeeding Elrohir.

 

“Feed him, pen-neth. Elladan is hungry.” Elrond watched, bemused, as Erestor placed the bottle at his son’s lips. Elladan, apparently craving the milk, drank eagerly. His gaze shifted back to Celebrian and he smiled contently. Although his sons had been born two months early, they were healthy and drinking greedily.

 

Celebrian had reached the same conclusion. She had been terrified when the first contraction had taken her by surprise. The fear of losing her babies had nearly paralyzed her, but thankfully Lindir had taken charge and taken her to the healing house. When Elrond had joined her, she had taken heart, and although the birth had exhausted her, she felt invigorated as well. But now her eyes were growing vacant with fatigue.

 

Elrond noticed, leaned in closer and eased Elrohir, who instantly began to cry, away from her breast. “Quickly, fetch another bottle of milk.” Lindir brought him another bottle and he sat down, feeding his son. Now that Celebrian was asleep, he allowed himself to relax. His wife had given him two beautiful sons and although she was exhausted, he was confident that she would recover quickly now that she could hold her sons in her arms.

 

Looking at Erestor, he saw a blissful expression on the Elfling’s face. Elladan seemed extremely comfortable in Erestor’s arms. The baby burped and Erestor instinctively removed the bottle. The large eyes grew vacant and Erestor’s heart missed a beat when they began to close. “My Lord?” Wide-eyed, he stared at Elrond.

 

But Elrond smiled reassuringly. “They are half-Elven. Like me, they will sleep with their eyes closed at times.” Seeing him sleep like that had startled Celebrian at first as well. “It is to be expected.”

 

Still worried, Erestor checked the baby’s pulse, and found it steady. Elrond was apparently right; the little one had fallen asleep.

 

Elrond disposed of the now empty bottle and sat down on the bed again. After rearranging the baby in his arms, he lay down. Celebrian snuggled up to him and he looked dotingly at his wife, love filling his eyes and his heart.

 

Feeling like an intruder, Erestor slowly got to his feet, approached the bed and placed Elladan in Elrond’s arms. The Elf-Lord looked at him thankfully, now cradling both his sons in his arms.

 

Erestor took several steps away from the bed and headed for the doorway. He could tell that Elrond wanted some privacy, and he was already surprised that the Elf-Lord had allowed him to hold one of his sons.

 

Realizing Erestor was about to leave, Elrond quickly addressed him. “I want to spend some time with my family, but certain formal matters cannot wait. You are familiar with my plans. I want you to take over.”

 

Erestor gasped in surprise. “But milord, what about your advisors? I am just your assistant!”

 

“Erestor, you will work together with them.” The potential he had seen in the Elfling would now be put to the test. “I trust you to take good care of Imladris for the next few days. And now close the door behind you and let me tend to my family.”

 

Dumbfounded, Erestor stepped into the corridor and softly closed the door behind him. Elrond couldn’t be serious! None of the advisors would allow him to take part in their council! He couldn’t carry out Elrond’s orders! They wouldn’t let him!

 

“Pen-neth?”

 

Erestor spun around, startled at unexpectedly hearing Lindir’s voice.

 

“Elrond told me he wants you to replace him for the next few days. You should talk to the other advisors and tell them.” Lindir’s eyes narrowed, seeing the apprehension in the dark eyes. “Is anything wrong?”

 

“But I am just his secretary, his assistant! How can I… I am not an advisor… I…” Stuttering, despair crept up on him. “Is there not someone else who can replace Lord Elrond? Maybe you?”

 

Lindir laughed softly. “I am sure Lord Elrond chose you for a reason. Now follow me. They are already waiting for you.”

 

“Who are?”

 

“Lord Elrond’s advisors.”

 

Erestor abruptly halted. “I cannot face them.”

 

“You must,” said Lindir in a firm tone. “Lord Elrond wishes it.”

 

Erestor nearly bolted from the room, but he didn’t want to disappoint Elrond, who, for some elusive reason, had decided to put his trust in him. Drawing in a deep breath, he followed Lindir to Elrond’s study, where the Elf-lord’s advisors awaited him.

 

TBC


	34. Chapter 34

Part 4

Advisors

 

 

Erestor drew in a deep breath, telling himself he could do this, had to do this because Elrond had told him so. He sensed Lindir’s eyes on him, which made him even more nervous. He really didn’t want to let Elrond down, but what had possessed the Elf-Lord to put –him- in charge for the next few days? He was an Elfling!

 

Quietly, he stepped into Elrond’s study where several advisors were already going through the half-Elf’s papers. Clearing his throat, he wondered what to say. They would never listen to him!

 

“What are you doing here, Elfling?” One of the advisors, a dark-haired Noldorin Elf called Brass, glared at him. “Your place is in the library, not in our Lord’s study. I do not know what possessed him to take on a Mirkwood Elf as his secretary, but that stops now.”

 

Erestor shook, and cold shivers coursed through his body. “I beg your pardon, but Lord Elrond himself asked me… me to…” Stuttering, his voice faltered and he lowered his eyes. His fears and panic overwhelmed him.

 

“Return to the library and do not disturb us again. Why Lord Elrond chose to trust in you is beyond me, but you will find that you cannot wrap us around your little finger that easily. We know Thranduil sent you to spy on us. Now leave!”

 

Erestor’s fingers clawed at the door handle and he left the room, trying to get his breathing back under control. Once the door had closed, he leaned against the wall, panting hard. Oh, Elbereth, he had made it easy for them to dismiss him. His every emotion had been on his face, and his fears had made him shake fiercely. They had seen his weakness and had sent him away. Elrond would be disappointed in him!

 

Bowing his head, he realized he didn’t want to let Elrond down, but how could he face that mob again? It was obvious they wanted him gone.

 

“Erestor?” Lindir, who had passed the Elfling by, saw the distress in the dark eyes and halted in his tracks.

 

“They threw me out,” whispered Erestor, still taken aback. “I let Master Elrond down.”

 

Lindir carefully considered his next move. “And you let them throw you out?”

 

Erestor stared at the white-haired Elf. “They are Lord Elrond’s advisors. How can I oppose them? They are right, you know. Why should they trust me? I am a stranger to them. The fact that Lord Elrond trusts me still baffles me.”

 

“You should not let them get away with treating you like that.”

 

Erestor shrugged. Lindir didn’t know he had been treated in a similar way by his father his entire life. He was used to being put down like that. “I should return to the library and ask Collneled which scrolls to copy. What was I thinking, actually going in there and facing them?” He flinched when Lindir suddenly grabbed hold of him. “What?”

 

“You will go back in there and make them listen to you! They cannot defy Lord Elrond like that, and they know it! They are counting on you being too timid, too emotional to call them to order. Now go in there and tell them you will carry out Elrond’s orders. Now!”

Erestor had managed to steady his breathing during Lindir’s speech. “How do I do that? They only need to take one look at me and see the state I am in. I cannot face them.”

 

Lindir sternly looked at Erestor. “Act. Even if you do not feel confident, you can pretend you do. That is what they do as well. It is a role they play; a mask they wear. You can do the same thing.”

 

Erestor stared at Lindir in disbelief. “Act confidently?”

 

“Pretend.” Lindir grinned. “I am sure you can do that.”

 

Erestor wasn’t so sure. “I can try.”

 

“No, do not just try. Do it.” Lindir nodded once. “Do not let them treat you like that. You deserve better.” Resuming his walk, he headed for the kitchen to fetch Celebrian’s hot tea.

 

Erestor couldn’t believe it was supposed to be so easy. But Lindir had made it sound easy. Just act, pretend. He could do that. He had acted his entire life, trying to fool the Elves in Mirkwood, hiding his feelings. Only Thranduil and his wife had seen through the pretence. He had watched Elrond for weeks now, and he knew how to act dignified and in control.

 

After drawing in a deep breath, he straightened his robes and adopted a regal and reserved expression. Inwardly he was falling apart from nervousness, but his outward appearance radiated confidence and control. His hand still rested on the door handle and he now pushed it down.

 

Five pairs of eyes instantly looked at him and Brass glared at him menacingly. He almost reconsidered and bolted from the room, but then Lindir’s words returned to him. The elder Elf was right; he didn’t deserve to be treated like that. “Hîri,” he said, addressing them in a calm tone, “I will carry out Lord Elrond’s orders. He asked me to carry out his duties for a few days and I will not disobey him.” Inwardly, he was running scared, but he made sure none of his raging emotions showed when he glared at them. The fact that he sounded calm surprised him, and he felt thankful for it.

 

Ignoring their indignant muttering and dagger-like glares, he walked toward Elrond’s desk and came to a stop behind it. He didn’t sit down, knowing that would be pushing the limits. Acting like nothing out of the ordinary was going on, he took hold of today’s schedule and addressed the first topic; the building of the bridge that he had suggested.

 

Elrond’s advisors were about to jump to their feet to protest, but he glared at them the same way his father had stared him into submission. He didn’t think it would work, but it did; they remained silent. Addressing one by one, he told them what needed to be done in order to build that bridge and as he talked, he realized they were actually listening. Was it really that simple? Was wearing a mask of haughty indifference the answer to his problems? At least they were now listening and at times they nodded their agreement.

 

Several minutes later, Elrond’s advisors left the study, muttering softly.

 

Erestor could tell he had surprised them, acting like that. But it had worked. /If it worked on them, will it also work on others?/ The expression in their eyes had been alien to him. It seemed to mirror respect, but he wasn’t sure. Why would they respect an Elfling? But it meant he could protect himself from getting hurt again. His jaw set grimly, determined to never let anyone treat him disrespectfully again.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Celebrian smiled when Erestor entered the bedroom. Elrond was seated in the chair next to the bed, playing with Elladan, who was trying to put his father’s thumb into his mouth to suckle it. “Pen-neth, it is good to see you. Sit down and talk to us.”

 

Elrond looked up and smiled at Erestor as well. Brass had told him how Erestor had taken charge, and he had to admit to being surprised. He hadn’t thought Erestor would assume leadership that easily, but apparently he was more talented than he had thought. Erestor would make an excellent advisor in time. “Did they give you any trouble?”

 

Erestor wavered between expressing his feelings and reassuming the mask which he had worn earlier. But this was Elrond and he did feel comfortable in the Elf-Lord’s and Celebrian’s presence. “They did, at first.”

 

Elrond inquisitively raised an eyebrow. “It is only for a few more days. I just do not want to miss my sons’ very first days on Arda.” Adoringly, he smiled at the baby in his arms.

 

Erestor smiled as well, seating himself near the window, maintaining a respectful distance from the couple; he didn’t want to infringe on their privacy.

 

Celebrian slowly pushed herself into a sitting position, swung her feet onto the floor and rose from the bed with Elrohir pressed tightly against her chest. She still moved cautiously, but more because of the baby in her arms than due to feeling weak. Holding the twins during the night had given her new strength and had aided her recovery. She walked over to Erestor and placed Elrohir into the stricken Elfling’s arms. “Hold him tight. I want to bathe in Arien’s beams for a short while.”

 

“Let me join you,” said Elrond, eager to share that moment with his wife. But Elladan was still in his arms and…

 

Erestor’s eyes widened when Elrond got to his feet and then placed Elladan in his arms as well. Now he was holding both babies and they were staring at him! Clearing his throat, he pleading looked at the parents. “I will drop them accidentally.”

 

“You won’t,” said Celebrian confidently. She took hold of her husband’s hand and they stepped onto the balcony, basking in the warm sun. She kept one eye on Erestor and the other on the babies. Erestor had looked startled at first, but was now cooing and making funny faces at the babies. “He will be fine… eventually.”

 

“I hope so. I talked to Brass earlier and what he said disturbed me.” Seeing her puzzled expression, he added, “Brass told me Erestor seemed to adopt a completely different personality when he addressed them. They were so taken aback, that they just listened and then left, carrying out his instructions.”

 

“What worries you about that?” Celebrian smiled, seeing Erestor squirm in the chair when Elrohir’s tiny hand managed to grab a strand of hair, pulling at it. She couldn’t picture Erestor like that; reserved and authoritative. Surely Brass had exaggerated!

 

“Brass said Erestor seemed like a totally different person. I do not like the sound of that.”

 

“Maybe he is not ready yet to assume the responsibilities you placed on his shoulders. He is still very young.”

 

“But,” said Elrond, after placing a kiss on her lips, “he has so much potential. He will make an excellent advisor.”

 

“Did you tell him that, dear husband?”

 

“Not yet, but I will… soon.”

 

Celebrian’s smile sparkled, hearing Erestor whimper softly. “Let us quickly rescue him.” Now both babies were pulling at his hair.

 

Elrond nodded, but at the same time he saw the smile on Erestor’s face. /I doubt he needs rescuing. He seems to be enjoying himself./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later...

 

Erestor felt relieved now that Elrond had returned to his formal duties. Standing close to the window, he stared outside. But he still continued to listen to the reports the advisors were giving Elrond. The construction of the bridge had begun and so far the progress the builders were making was satisfying. He felt some pride, knowing it was his idea that was now being carried out.

 

“Erestor?”

 

Elrond’s voice pulled him from his musings and he inclined his head, waiting for the Elf-Lord to continue. The reserved and authoritative attitude that he now adopted at formal meetings was quickly becoming a second skin, making him feel safe. The only time his mask slipped was when Elrond addressed him. He trusted the half-Elf, and couldn’t keep up the haughty attitude when Elrond sounded so compassionate. “My Lord?”

 

Elrond’s brow furrowed, seeing the reserved expression in the Elfling’s eyes. Had he made a mistake, asking Erestor to fill in for him? Had he pushed the young Elf too far? What had caused the change in the vulnerable Elfling who now acted distant and cold?

 

Addressing his advisors, he gave them permission to leave and after the door had closed, he rose from behind the desk and advanced on the Elfling. “I hardly recognize you. For how many days did you perform my duties?”

 

“I filled in for you for five days,” said Erestor, wondering why there was such a strange expression in the half-Elf’s eyes. “I hope I did not disappoint you.”

 

“You worry me,” admitted Elrond. “Now that we are alone, you have reverted to the Erestor I have come to know the last few weeks. But when my advisors are near, you become cold and reserved. Why?”

 

Erestor quickly averted his eyes, and stared at the floor. “I do not know what you are talking about, my Lord.”

 

“This… personality… that you adopted during the meetings worries me.”

 

Erestor shuffled his feet, nervously. “It was the only way they would listen to me.”

 

“Do not let it go too far,” advised Elrond. “Do not pretend to be something you are not.”

 

In his heart Erestor knew Elrond was right, but at the same time wearing this mask empowered him, took away those feelings of fear and weakness that usually terrified him. Curtly, he nodded once, but he didn’t plan to give up on wearing this mask. It kept him from getting hurt.

 

“Erestor, I need to catch up on my correspondence, and that will take several hours,” said Elrond. “But I do not want Celebrian to be alone this evening. Will you keep her company? The babies have been crying the entire time and are keeping her from getting enough sleep. They are wearing her down.” The babies usually grew quiet when Erestor was near and he hoped the Elfling’s presence would calm them down as well this time. Maybe then his wife could get some sleep.

 

Erestor nodded, bowed and fled from the study. He was looking forward to visit Celebrian and the babies. When holding them he felt at peace, and Celebrian’s cheerful chatter always lifted his spirits.

 

Erestor knocked on the door and Celebrian answered at once. Opening the door, Erestor’s features contorted in sympathy. Celebrian’s long, silver hair was a tangled mess because Elladan was pulling at the strands and Elrohir was clinging to his mother’s waist as she tried to soothe him back to sleep.

 

“Erestor! Thank the Valar Elrond sent you… Please help me?”

 

The way she looked at him told Erestor she was truly drained. Wanting to help, he managed to pry her hair from Elladan’s little, possessive fingers. Instantly Elladan wrapped his fingers around Erestor’s dark hair, tugging slightly.

 

“I am so tired, pen-neth. They just do not want to go to sleep. I do not know what to do!” Celebrian sighed, somewhat relieved to see Elladan snuggle up to Erestor when the Elfling sat down in her rocking chair with the baby in his arms.

 

“You look tired, my Lady. Who don’t you give me Elrohir as well? Then you can get some necessary sleep. I would love to hold them.” Elladan had finally released his hair and was now cooing happily.

 

“Elbereth bless you,” whispered Celebrian, exhausted. She placed Elrohir on Erestor’s lap and then walked over to the bed, where she curled up beneath the sheets. “I won’t sleep long. Wake me in an hour.”

 

Elrohir stretched hands and feet, reaching for him. Erestor smiled giddily, rubbing the soft tummy. “We need to be quiet now. Your mother needs to sleep.” Two pairs of large, blue eyes were staring at him and he gathered the little ones close, cradling them against his chest, one baby on each arm. Humming softly, he rocked in the rocking chair.

 

Celebrian smiled when the babies calmed down. Her fatigue overwhelmed her and she quickly fell asleep, trusting Erestor to take good care of her sons.

 

Rocking them, first Elladan and then Elrohir’s eyes closed, falling asleep like their mother. Smiling warmly, his eyes traveled to Celebrian’s form. Her features were relaxed in sleep and it looked like she was smiling.

 

Looking at the babies in his arms, his eyes filled with tears. Had his father felt like this when holding him in his arms? Had Eridhren loved him? Had his father rocked him? Sang soft lullabies? He couldn’t picture his father doing that.

 

“I know you cannot tell anyone,” he whispered in a conspiracy tone, “so I can safely say I love you. You are not my children, but I would have loved to have little brothers.” A tear flowed down his cheek.

 

How had his father been able to call him a murderer? Even if the birth had killed Celebrian, he couldn’t picture Elrond accusing his children of being murderers.

 

Elrond traipsed into the room, looking contently at Erestor and his sons. Elladan had fallen asleep whilst sucking his thumb and Elrohir had wrapped his tiny fingers around Erestor’s ring finger. The three of them looked very comfortable, and, reassured, his gaze traveled to his wife, who was blissfully asleep in their bed.

 

“Thank you,” he whispered, addressing Erestor, who looked startled at hearing his voice.

 

Erestor started, not having heard Elrond enter, and felt uncomfortable beneath his stare.

 

“She has not been able to sleep for two days now. No matter what I did, they would not go to sleep. The twins really adore you.”

 

Erestor blushed weakly. “I think they are adorable as well.”

 

Elrond felt relieved now that the reserved mask was gone from Erestor’s features. He pulled up a chair and sat down next to him. Fascinated, he watched his sons sleep; their tiny chests regularly rising to draw in breath. “It is a miracle.”

 

Erestor nodded, instinctively knowing what Elrond was referring to. He had lost his heart to the two little ones as well. “And they have the best parents they could wish for.”

 

Something in Erestor’s tone alerted Elrond. The sadness and regret in the soft tone made him wonder about Erestor’s family. “Would you not like to be reunited with your family?” He wasn’t prepared for Erestor’s pallor and stricken expression. He could tell that Erestor would have liked to jump to his feet and leave the room, but the babies were keeping him in place. “Or not?”

 

Erestor shook his head, giving Elrond a pleading look. “Do not contact my father.”

 

/Father?/ thought Elrond./ What about the rest of his family?/ He carefully considered his next words. “If you prefer me to not contact him, I won’t, but I must admit I wonder why you do not want me to tell him how well you are doing.”

 

Erestor blinked. How -well- he was doing?

 

“I am thinking about making you one of my advisors in future. If you continue to carry out your secretary duties satisfactorily I will make you my personal assistant, and advisor eventually.”

 

Erestor blinked again. “But… I have not reached my majority yet and…”

 

“You are very intelligent and cunning; qualities which every advisor needs.” Elrond smiled, seeing the stunned look on Erestor’s face. “But you will stay my secretary for a few more years. I just want you to know you have a future here… if you want it.”

 

“Of course I want it,” whispered Erestor, pleasantly surprised at hearing Elrond praise him like that. His father had always told him how stupid he was and now Elrond Half-Elven wanted him as his personal assistant?

 

Elladan shifted against his chest, rolled onto his side, opened his arms and grabbed as much of Erestor’s waist as he could. Dotingly, Erestor smiled at the baby, gently rubbing the tiny back.

 

“You do realize you are more to us than just a secretary? You are quickly becoming part of my family.” Seeing the surprise in Erestor’s dark eyes, Elrond added, “And you seem to be the only one who can put them to sleep.”

 

Erestor smiled hesitantly. “I do not know why they react to my presence like that.”

 

/They sense you love them. Maybe they sense even more than that. They might feel your pain and react to that. You won’t confide in us and you keep everyone inside, but the twins bring a genuine smile to your face. Erestor, why can you not allow us in? Why lock us out? What have you been through to act like that?/

 

Erestor’s gaze shifted away from the baby and was directed at him, puzzled and inquisitively, making Elrond wonder if the Elfling was able to read his very thoughts. He had to be more careful, a bit more guarded. He wanted Erestor to feel safe, not cornered. “Holding them both cannot be comfortable. Why don’t you give me Elladan?”

 

Erestor nodded, and watched as Elrond gathered his oldest son in his arms. Suddenly, his arms felt strangely empty, even whilst Elrohir was still cradled against his chest. /I need to watch my feelings. I cannot let go like that. They are not my children./ Saddened, he rubbed Elrohir’s soft skin, deeply inhaling the baby’s sweet scent. /But I cannot help it. I love you both./

 

TBC

 

Translations; 

Hîri -- My lords

Part 5


	35. Chapter 35

Part 5

The River Bruinen

 

 

“Elladan, Elrohir, you may play until dinner, but do not stray too far.” Celebrian, Elrond, Lindir and Erestor had taken to the gardens to enjoy the beautiful sunlit afternoon.

 

The twins expectedly looked at each other. They had turned twenty-five a few days ago and were full of mischief, as youngsters usually are. They were determined to visit the Bruinen, for it was the one place their father had forbidden them to go.

 

“Come on, Elrohir. They are not watching us!” Elladan, slightly bolder than his younger brother, pulled Elrohir with him.

 

“Remember! Stay close!” called out Elrond after them. He leaned back into the chair, watching Celebrian play with Arwen, who had curled up in her arms. Life was perfect.

 

“Someone should keep an eye on them,” mumbled Erestor, still peering after the twins. “I could go if you want me to.”

 

Elrond smiled warmly at Erestor, who now was one of his trusted advisors. No longer an Elfling, Erestor had become a cunning and handsome Elf. But Elrond still felt worried. During these last twenty-five years Erestor had built a reputation of being cold, distant and emotionless. He had seen it happen, but had been unable to prevent it. The only time that the mask slipped was when Erestor spent time with the twins or talked to Celebrian. At times Erestor would even act reserved toward him, which completely unnerved the half-Elf. It almost seemed like that mask had become a permanent part of Erestor. “Be at peace, mellon-nîn. They can be left alone for a few minutes.”

 

/I hope you are right,/ thought Erestor, worried. He might no longer show his affection and concern openly, but he didn’t like the idea of the twins being unsupervised. Elladan especially got himself into trouble regularly. He still searched for the twins, but trees hampered his sight. Frustrated, he busied himself with his tea, sipping occasionally.

 

He liked spending time with Celebrian and Elrond. And he enjoyed Lindir’s company as well, but he still maintained an emotional distance when it came down to all three of them. He could only let go when he was near the twins and now that they were growing older, he felt like that he couldn’t show his feelings like he used to when they were babies.

 

Celebrian convinced her husband to sing for them and smiled when Arwen cooed along with Elrond’s voice. It was such a lovely moment and she felt completely happy. Nothing bad could happen to them now.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Do not be a spoilsport, Elrohir! Come play with me! It is only water! We bathe in it all the time!” Elladan had crossed his arms in front of his chest and impatiently tapped his foot. “Come on! It is only water! Don’t be a baby! We are older now!”

 

Elrohir still wasn’t convinced. Sucking on his thumb, he stared at the frightening mass of water.

 

“And do not put your thumb in your mouth. You know Nana does not want you to do that!” Elladan grabbed his younger brother’s arm, and forced Elrohir to stop sucking on his thumb. “I want to play in the river!”

 

“Ada told us to stay away from the river,” said Elrohir in a berating tone. “The water is dangerous and we are much too little to play in it. Not even Ada, Nana or Erestor play in the river because it is dangerous.”

 

“Elrohir, I want to play in the water!” Elladan pouted angrily, staring at his younger brother. “Please? We will be careful.”

 

Elrohir shook his head. “We should not do this…”

 

“Please?” Elladan cocked his head and pleadingly stared at him. “Because I love you?”

 

Elrohir sighed, giving in. He couldn’t deny his brother when Elladan reminded him of his love for him. “But be careful.”

 

Elladan smiled triumphantly. “Hurry!” Arien was still blazing and the water would be warm, if they got in now!

 

Still reluctant, Elrohir followed. “Elladan, the water will be cold.” He really didn’t want to do this. Why did he always let his older brother talk him into these things? But as long as he was close, he could keep an eye on his twin.

 

Elladan took Elrohir’s hand in his and then waded into the water. He flinched momentarily. The water was colder than he had thought, but he didn’t want Elrohir to know he had been right… again. He always was. Pulling him along, Elladan gasped when his feet no longer encountered any ground. Elrond had tried to teach them how to swim, but it had been awkward and they hadn’t mastered it yet. Suddenly he realized Elrohir had been right. This was stupid; even worse, it was dangerous!

 

Elrohir released a strangled whimper when Elladan unexpectedly released him, even pushing him back toward the riverbank. Elladan cried out, helplessly, when the river pulled him further in, pushing him into a violent whirlpool.

 

“Elladan!” Elrohir cried out in shock, feeling his brother’s hand slip out of his. “No, Elladan, no! Come back to me! Eeeeeellaaadan!” His brother struggled against the whirlpool and he even considered jumping in after him, but he was alert enough to realize he couldn’t help Elladan; he wasn’t strong enough. Shocked, the only thing he could do was cry.

 

Elladan struggled against the water, which now closed over his head. He lost his last breath and everything became dark around him as the water pulled him toward the bottom.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor was growing increasingly restless, and although he couldn’t quite explain the feeling, he felt like checking on the twins. He just couldn’t shake the feeling that Elladan had gotten himself into trouble again. Rising to his feet, he excused himself, telling Elrond and Celebrian that he was going for a walk. He could see Celebrian’s disappointment at the thought of him leaving them, but he didn’t share their carefree nature. He needed to keep an eye on the twins.

 

After smiling at Arwen, who was playing with Elrond’s finger, he headed for the trees, the same direction that the twins had disappeared in. His speed increased when a sense of foreboding slid through him and he broke out into a run, hearing a cry in the distance. He knew he should alert Elrond and Celebrian, but time was of the essence and he couldn’t waste any!

 

Approaching the river, he immediately noticed Elrohir, standing frozen with his feet still in the water. The ends of the youngster’s hair were wet and he shook with fear. Letting his gaze sweep further, he saw dark hair floating on the water. “Elladan!” Seeing the oldest twin struggle against the water, he shrugged off his cloak and dived into the water, heading for Elladan.

 

”Gwador, help him!” Elrohir, still sobbing with fear, now stilled, watching Erestor’s valiant attempt to rescue his brother. His eyes widened as the dark hair slipped beneath the water. Erestor drew in a deep breath, dived, and came back up again with Elladan in his arms. Elrohir, finally finding his voice again, began to call out. “Nana! Ada,” and then, “Gwador, help him! Elladan!”

 

Elrond, who had followed Erestor out of curiosity, felt how his heart stopped to beat momentarily, seeing Elrohir standing in the water. Running toward him, he pulled his youngest son out of the river and sat him down on the grass. “Stay here!” He dropped his cloak onto the ground and waded into the water, heading for Erestor, who was now swimming toward him. “Give him to me!” Panicking, he took hold of Elladan and carried his son onto the riverbank, where he lay him down next to Elrohir, who was staring at his brother in shock.

 

Elrond calmed slightly when he saw that Elladan was still breathing. The oldest twin now spat out the water and pulled a face at the awful taste. Elrond didn’t know how to react. He wanted to be cross with his children, but he was too happy to know them alive. “What did you think you were doing? Putting yourself in danger like that! Can’t I ever leave you alone? I told you to stay away from the river!”

 

Erestor, who had reached the riverbank as well, sank onto his knees, his heavy robes pulling him down. One look at Elladan told him the youngster was quickly regaining his breath and he thanked Elbereth that he had been in time to pull him from the treacherous river.

 

“Oh, my babies! Elladan, Elrohir!” Celebrian, balancing Arwen on her hip, appeared as well and immediately knelt next to her sons, pulling them toward her. “Oh, to think I could have lost you!”

 

Elrond, still on his heels, looked at the two boys and saw a definitely guilty expression in Elladan’s eyes. There was no need to question them about who had instigated this. “Elladan, we will talk later. Now go home with your mother and behave.” Elrohir gave him a heartbreaking look and he quickly hugged the youngest twin, suspecting Elrohir had tried to stop his brother from carrying out this folly. “I am not cross with you,” he whispered into Elrohir’s ear. “Lindir?” Signaling for the white-haired Elf to approach, he placed Elrohir’s tiny hand in Lindir’s. “Take good care of him.”

 

Lindir lifted Elrohir in his arms and settled the little one safely in his arms. Then he pulled Elladan to his feet, and finding them shaky, he lifted the oldest twin as well, letting him sit on his shoulders.

 

Celebrian, fussing over her sons, now exchanged a glance with Elrond and then looked at Erestor. She knew why her husband wanted a moment with Erestor; he wanted to thank the Elf for saving Elladan’s life. Walking away, she continued to chide Elladan, who was now sulking.

 

Elrond turned to face Erestor and gave him a thankful look. “If it had not been for you I would have lost my firstborn.”

 

Erestor got to his feet. Water dripped from his hair and robes, but he didn’t feel the cold or the wet clothes clinging to his body. “He is alive.”

 

Signaling for Erestor to fall in step beside him, Elrond studied his friend’s face. “What made you come here?”

 

“Instinct?” Erestor wasn’t sure. “Does it matter?”

 

“I suppose not,” said Elrond thoughtfully. “I do not know why I let them wander off alone. I was wrong to not supervise them. Sometimes I forget what children are like at that age. I am immensely thankful you were in the right place at the right time”

 

“So am I.” Erestor gathered his wet robes around him and answered Elrond’s gaze. Both of them realized how close they had come to losing Elladan and were determined to keep a closer eye on the oldest twin.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elladan shivered; he couldn’t believe he had caught a cold. It was unheard of among Elves, but then again, he was only half-Elven, like his father. Trembling, he clutched the warm blanket closer to him.

 

Celebrian and Lindir had put him and his brother in a tub filled with hot water, trying to warm them up. Elrohir, who was now placed beside him on the large towel, opened his arms and wrapped them around his waist. “I am sorry,” whispered Elladan in a guilty tone. It was bad enough that he had almost drowned, but even worse was that he had endangered his little brother. “I should have listened to you. The river is too dangerous; you were right.” Returning the hug, the two children held each other close. “I am so sorry…”

 

Elrohir sensed his brother’s sincerity and rubbed his back. “Don’t go back into the river ever again, Elladan. I was so scared when you went under.”

 

Nodding, Elladan knew very well that he could have died. “I will never do something like that again.” He didn’t want to see his younger brother distressed ever again, just because he had been too stubborn to listen.

 

Celebrian sat down behind her sons and pulled them close. The three of them remained like that, finding comfort in the embrace. They looked up when Elrond entered the room.

 

“Ada…” Elladan didn’t dare meet his father’s eyes. “I was so stupid.” Elrond was a loving and caring father, but always lectured him when he had done something stupid. “I won’t ever do it again!” Eventually he looked at his father. “I am so sorry.” If it hadn’t been for his father he would be dead now. He vividly remembered the dark hair fanning around him when he had been pulled to the surface.

 

Elrond, who had planned to be stern, suddenly sighed and sat down cross-legged, catching Elladan in his arms when the older twin flung himself into his arms. Elladan sobbed, clinging tightly to him and continuing to say how sorry he was. Elrond smiled, saddened. “I hope you learned your lesson today.”

 

“I did.” Elladan raised teary eyes at his father, his hero who had saved him from the cruel, dark river. “I will never be that stupid again.”

 

Elrond hugged Elladan close, exchanging a look with Celebrian. They hoped Elladan would be more careful in future. Now that Elladan was calming down, he handed his son to Celebrian, who rocked him soothingly. Next was Elrohir, walking toward him and nearly stumbling on a corner of the blanket he was wrapped up in.

 

Enveloping Elrohir in a warm hug, Elrond stroked his son’s hair. “You tried to stop him, didn’t you?”

 

“Elladan never listens,” said Elrohir in a serious tone. “I wish he did.”

 

Elrond marveled at his youngest. Even at this tender age Elrohir was exceptionally wise. It was very probable that Elrohir would have to keep his brother away from trouble for the rest of his life. His sons couldn’t be more different, but he loved them both unconditionally. “Maybe one day he will.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor exited the bathroom, wrapped up in warm towels and collapsed on his bed. Curling up, he tried to banish Elrohir’s desperate cries from his mind. But then another image appeared; Elladan, drowning in the river. By Elbereth, if he had been a moment later the youngster would have died!

 

/Died, death… Murderer!/ After having been silent all these years his father’s voice suddenly yelled at him. His birth had demanded his mother’s life in return… Had he now made up for it by rescuing Elladan? Had he finally redeemed himself?

 

But no, saving Elladan didn’t bring his mother back.

 

Closing his eyes, he sighed deeply and curled up on the bed. He loved the twins dearly and couldn’t imagine what life would be like if Elladan had died. “Elbereth, thank you for sparing his life.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Erestor, I asked you to join me for two reasons,” started Elrond, seated comfortably behind his desk in his study. Erestor now sat down opposite him, his arms crossed in front of his chest and letting his hair obscure part of his face. “First, I want to thank you again for saving Elladan’s life.”

 

Erestor felt strangely shy. “I acted instinctively.”

 

Elrond nodded. “I will never forget what you did.”

 

Erestor blushed and squirmed in his chair. “What other matter did you want to discuss?” The thankful look Elrond was giving him made him uncomfortable.

 

“I want to inform you of an addition to the household. Tomorrow Glorfindel will arrive. He will educate the twins in warfare, diplomacy and weapons' skill when they have reached the appropriate age. I want you to show him around, tell him what he needs to know. The two of you will work very closely together during the next few decades.”

 

Erestor swallowed hard; he never got along with strangers. “Glorfindel? Is this the reborn Glorfindel from Gondolin? I heard he had been granted a new body and was returned to Arda by the grace of the Valar.”

 

Elrond nodded. “Aye, that is the Glorfindel I am talking about. He should be an excellent seneschal and tutor. I want you to incorporate his teachings into the lesson plan for the twins.” Erestor had been in charge of the twin’s education for years now.

 

“I will adjust their lesson plan,” said Erestor, regretting he now had to share the twins with this intruder. But he also knew that Elrond was right. These were skills he couldn’t teach the boys. He hoped he would get along with the fabled Glorfindel.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor watched the blond closely when Glorfindel dismounted. The Elda was a stunning sight. Long, flaxen hair reached his delicately curved hips and sea-blue eyes twinkled with life and energy. The blond was a divine vision and he quickly locked away his heart, knowing he was in danger of losing it.

 

Elrond smiled warmly at Glorfindel and inclined his head in greeting. “Welcome to Imladris, Glorfindel.”

 

“Thank you for your kind welcome,” replied Glorfindel in a formal tone.

 

Erestor’s heart strained against the bars of its cage, but the lock didn’t bulge at hearing the enchantingly soft tone. Glorfindel was an ethereal, magical creature and he quickly hid behind his cold appearance, glaring at the blond.

 

“Glorfindel?” Elrond signaled for the blond to follow him as he led the Elda over to where his wife was standing. “This is Celebrian, my beloved wife.”

 

Glorfindel bowed respectfully, charmed by her beauty. “My Lady, your star shines as brightly as Ithil during a full moon.”

 

Celebrian gracefully accepted the compliment. “Welcome, Glorfindel. And these are my children. Arwen is the youngest, my dearest daughter.” Arwen cooed at the blond when Celebrian continued, ”And these are the twins. Elladan is the oldest, and Elrohir the wisest.”

 

The two boys stared at Glorfindel in amazement. They had never before encountered an Elf who radiated as much warmth and beauty as Arien herself.

 

Amused with their reaction, Glorfindel sat on his heels and ruffled Elladan’s hair. “It is good to meet you. We will be spending a lot of time together.”

 

“Will you teach us how to ride a horse?” Elladan eagerly shuffled his feet. “And how to use a sword? And A bow?” He was literally jumping up and down with excitement.

 

Glorfindel laughed warmly at Elladan’s enthusiasm. “All that and more!” His gaze shifted to Elrohir, who stared him earnestly. “And you are Elrohir.” The boy nodded and then Glorfindel continued, “You look very serious for someone as young as you are.”

 

“Someone must keep Elladan out of trouble,” replied Elrohir calmly.

 

Glorfindel smiled warmly at the youngest twin. “And do you want to learn to ride a horse as well?” Seeing the youngster hesitate, he followed Elrohir’s gaze, which was directed at a dark-haired Elf. The first thing that struck him was the haughty expression in the dark eyes and he instantly disliked the other Elf.

 

“I like to study with Erestor,” said Elrohir eventually.

 

“Erestor?” repeated Glorfindel, puzzled.

 

Elrohir clutched his mentor's hand. “This is Erestor. He is my friend.”

 

Erestor had a hard time maintaining his cold composure at hearing Elrohir’s words. There was so much trust, so much love that sounded in that young voice, that it nearly caused his mask to crack in front of everyone.

 

Glorfindel got to his feet, straightened out his shirt and advanced on Erestor. He forced himself to nod in greeting. The cold expression in the nearly black eyes made him wonder why the boy liked his cold-hearted tutor. “Greetings, Erestor.”

 

“Greetings, Glorfindel,” replied Erestor in a clipped tone, but then Elrohir’s fingers tightened around his, tightly holding onto his hand, and he instinctively returned the hold.

 

Glorfindel missed it however, and turned away from Erestor to face Elrond. “I am looking forward to teaching your sons.”

 

“Good,” said Elrond, pleased. He had noticed the tension between Erestor and Glorfindel, but didn’t address it. “Erestor, will you show Glorfindel to his rooms?” He hoped the two would get along once they got to know each other.

 

Erestor nodded and signaled for the blond to follow him. Elrohir reluctantly let go of his hand and he gave the boy a warm look, hoping no one else had seen it.

 

Glorfindel followed Erestor through the long corridors, trying to memorize the route they were taking. “I hope that we will find a way to optimize the boys’ lesson plan.”

 

Erestor drew in a deep breath, trying to remain calm. He would never show how much Glorfindel’s arrival distressed him. He had seen the instant admiration in Elladan’s eyes and realized that he now had to share the twins’ love and affection with the blond, who would quickly become their role model and hero. /I cannot teach them how to ride a horse, shoot an arrow or wield a sword./

 

“I am confident we will find a way to adjust their lesson plan,” said Erestor in a neutral tone when they reached Glorfindel’s quarters. “I hope your rooms will be satisfactory. If they are not, please let me know.”

 

“Thank you.” Glorfindel’s eyes narrowed when Erestor began to walk away from him. Never before had he met an Elf that intrigued him right from the start. He could tell working with Erestor would be difficult at best, and getting along would be even harder, but he enjoyed a challenge.

 

Opening the door, he stepped into luxuriously furnished rooms. He headed for the bed and let himself fall onto it. Arms spread wide, he smiled. He had instantly liked his pupils and Elrond and Celebrian seemed very friendly. If only it weren’t for Erestor’s depressing presence!

 

“Well, I will just have to hope for the best!”

 

TBC


	36. Chapter 36

Part 6/7

Shadow dancing.

 

 

Elladan couldn’t sit quietly during today’s lessons. He shifted impatiently on his chair, wishing Erestor would finally finish, but instead he was now giving them a new assignment! Sighing, he glared at his dark-haired tutor. “You are making us work too hard,” he muttered beneath his breath, but he knew the opposite was true.

 

A few weeks ago Elrond had briefly taken over teaching Erestor’s classes and they had been swamped with work. Until that moment they hadn’t realized how easy Erestor was when it came down to homework.

 

“He is not,” said Elrohir, coming to Erestor’s defense before the dark-haired tutor had a chance to address Elladan. “You just cannot wait until Glorfindel appears to take you for your first riding lesson!”

 

They were thirty-five years old now, young Elflings. Glorfindel had finally decided it was time to start their riding lessons, and Elladan would go first. Elrohir hadn’t minded. He liked to study with Erestor, whose patience was endless, and the elder Elf was always willing to explain matters when he didn’t understand.

 

Erestor shook his head. “Elladan, I am not changing the assignment just because you have a riding lesson.” He could tell he was losing Elladan to Glorfindel. The blond had become Elladan’s hero and the youngster wanted to spend as much time as possible with the Elda.

 

Erestor had been relatively happy since his arrival in Imladris. The time he had enjoyed most was when the twins had been babies and toddlers. Now the time had come to let them go. They would lose interest in his lessons and hurry to meet with Glorfindel who would take them riding.

 

“Gwador?”

 

Elrohir’s timed tone alerted Erestor. Was something wrong with the younger twin? Looking at Elrohir he saw concern in the half-Elf’s eyes, which had turned darker over the years. “Aye, Elrohir?”

 

“Are you sad?”

 

Erestor swallowed; that was Elrohir, direct and caring. “Maybe a little,” admitted Erestor. “But we should continue today’s lessons.”

 

“Ah, lessons!” Glorfindel entered, smiling cheerfully. “I will give you your first riding lesson, Elladan!” He extended his hand and waited for the youngster to take it.

 

But Elladan first looked at Erestor for permission to leave the study.

 

Erestor sighed wearily. “You may go, but do not forget to hand in your assignment in time.” He ignored Glorfindel’s irritated glance, which was now directed at him. Unfortunately the tension between them had never left, and although they tolerated each other, they never sought out the other’s company. Deep in his heart Erestor had hoped things would have developed differently; he would have liked to have had a friend. No matter how much he loved the twins, they were children. “And we will continue to study this scroll.” Seeing Elrohir’s smile, his heart warmed slightly. The youngest twin had never stopped loving him, unlike Elladan.

 

“Come with me, then.” Glorfindel wrapped his fingers around Elladan’s, who was actually already pulling him along. “Wait for me!”

 

Elladan giggled, dragging Glorfindel toward the stables. “Can I ride Asfaloth?”

 

Glorfindel laughed warmly. “Asfaloth is too big for you, Elfling!” He took control and guided Elladan to one of the smaller mares. “Gell is mellow and perfect for you to start with.”

 

Disappointedly, Elladan stared at the grey mare, who now raised her head to look at him. “But I want to ride Asfaloth…” The big, white stallion was a magnificent creature and he had hoped Glorfindel would let him ride him.

 

“Maybe when you are older and more experienced. Now watch carefully.” Glorfindel placed a saddle on Gell’s back and fastened the girth. “In time you will saddle her yourself.” Looking at Elladan, he found that the Elfling was still pouting. “Maybe I will let you sit in front of me later? Then you still get to ride Asfaloth.” Elladan instantly smiled at him, happily. Glorfindel complimented himself on solving a potential dangerous situation. Elladan had quite a temper and had been known to throw tantrums which only Elrohir could soothe.

 

Glorfindel lifted Elladan and placed him on Gell’s back. He placed the reins in the Elfling’s hands and said, “Let Gell lead you. She knows what to do. Let her teach you.” Elladan’s smile faded once more, and Glorfindel quickly mounted Asfaloth, telling Elladan to follow him.

 

Elladan began to cheer up again now that he was finally riding a horse. Looking up at the window to his father’s study, he caught Elrond’s image and proudly waved at him. Elrond waved back and Elladan straightened his shoulders, proud that he was the first to ride a horse. Oh, he would tease Elrohir mercilessly later!

 

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrohir glanced at Erestor, who was lost in his reading. They had studied Tengwar for the last two hours and Erestor had allowed him to take a break. The truth was that he didn’t need a break. What he wanted was to spend more time with the dark-haired Elf, so he sat down at Erestor’s feet, rested his elbows on his knees and cupped his chin in his palms, staring at the elder Elf. /One… two… three… And yes, he looks up!/ Erestor never managed to endure his stare for longer than a three-count.

 

“Is something wrong, pen-neth?” Erestor frowned worriedly. Why was Elrohir looking at him like that?

 

“I miss Elladan,” said Elrohir, honestly. “I miss having him close. Now I cannot keep an eye on him.”

 

Erestor sighed worriedly. “You will often be apart in the future, pen-neth.” He disliked seeing Elrohir distressed. “It is part of growing up. When you reach your majority you will both go separate ways.” He cursed privately, seeing tears appear in the large eyes. “Oh, I am sorry, Elrohir, I did not want to upset you.” He felt helpless, seeing tears flow down the Elfling’s face. “Please do not cry.”

 

“But I miss him!” Elrohir now sobbed in earnest, wrapping his arms around his waist and rocking slowly. Usually Elladan would soothe him, but his twin was out riding with Glorfindel. “He deserted me! Elladan does not love me anymore! He wants to spend time with Glorfindel instead of me!”

 

“Aiya, pen-neth, Elladan still loves you. You are his brother; he will always love you. But he needs some time alone as well.” His hands itched to wrap Elrohir in a tight hug, but the half-Elf was too old now and he was afraid to reach out; still scared to get hurt again.

 

“Gwador?” Elrohir wrapped his arms around Erestor’s knees. “Why does my heart hurt?”

 

Erestor tightly held onto his book. He wanted to reach out so badly, but couldn’t. His fears were keeping him back. “Would you like to go back to studying? It will distract you.” Seeing Elrohir’s wet face, he added, “And maybe the pain in your heart will lessen slightly.”

 

Elrohir squeezed against Erestor’s knees, wishing his tutor would bury him in a hug like his father always did. But the dark-haired Elf didn’t move. Dejectedly, he nodded. “Aye, maybe it will help.”

 

Erestor’s heart felt heavy, guiding Elrohir back to the desk. They sat down, he uncovered the scroll they had been studying, and told Elrohir to read aloud. The Elfling’s voice was raw with sadness and Erestor sat on his hands; it was the only way to refrain from reaching out to Elrohir. /Glorfindel, bring Elladan back quickly. I cannot bear to see Elrohir in this much pain./ He could only hope Elladan felt sad at being separated as well and would hurry home.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Hours later, Elrohir had curled up on his bed, hiding beneath the sheets and crying his heart out. Glorfindel and Elladan hadn’t returned in time for dinner and now he felt abandoned. Elladan had forgotten about him! He had been right earlier; his brother no longer loved him! Erestor had tried to convince him otherwise, but his tutor was wrong; Elladan didn’t want to be close to him any more!

 

His frame shook, crying even harder. Why didn’t Ada or Nana hear him? They were his parents and supposed to know he was hurting! Why weren’t they here with him? Consoling him? Releasing a strangled choke, he angrily wiped his eyes, but the tears continued to flow.

 

“Pen-neth?”

 

Erestor’s voice took him aback and, surprised, he stopped crying. Feeling tense, he pulled down the sheets and peeked at his tutor. What was Erestor doing here? “Gwa…dor?” he stuttered, sobbingly. Instinctively, he opened his arms, begging Erestor to hold him close.

 

Erestor sighed and gave in. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he enfolded the Elfling in his arms and allowed Elrohir to snuggle up to him, constantly suppressing the shivers that threatened to shake his body. It had been years since he had held Elrohir this intimately and he wasn’t sure just what he was feeling. There were so many emotions rushing through him that his eyes began to swim as well.

 

“Hush now, pen-neth. Elladan will be back shortly.” Erestor rocked Elrohir gently, humming softly. He let Elrohir cling to him for long moments and eventually the sobs began to fade. Intent on cheering the youngster up, he whispered, “There is a bunny in your room.”

 

Elrohir, puzzled, looked at his tutor. “A bunny?” Scanning the room with his eyes, his brow furrowed. “There is no…” His eyes widened, seeing a bunny made of shadows projected on his wall. Pleased, he stared wildly at Erestor, who was using his hands to project the form onto the wall. “More! More!”

 

Erestor smiled, relieved that the sadness was leaving Elrohir’s features. Next was a wolf and then a goat. Elrohir was now applauding him, still demanding more. Suddenly, he heard movement behind him; Elladan had returned and now sat cross-legged on his bed, watching Elrohir intently.

 

“Now that Elladan is back I can leave,” said Erestor, smiling warmly. Elrohir reluctantly released his hand. “Lie down and try to sleep.” He tucked the youngster in, making sure he was warm. Soundlessly, he left the room, knowing the twins wanted to talk.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elladan had felt guilty, realizing Glorfindel and he had lost track of time when the blond had finally allowed him onto Asfaloth’s back. He had felt so proud in the Elda’s arms, tightly holding on to the stallion’s mane, that he had completely forgotten about his twin. Later, guilt had set in for leaving Elrohir alone that long. But seeing the dark-haired Elf at Elrohir’s side, distracting him and making him laugh, he had felt grateful that their father had comforted him.

 

Now that Elrond was gone, he hesitantly addressed his twin. “Elrohir? I am sorry… I did not realize it was that late and Glorfindel…” Unable to finish, he left his bed and walked over to Elrohir’s, sneaking into it.

 

Elrohir opened his arms, and by doing that, he showed his twin that he needed him close. “I do not like it when you are gone. I want you close.” His tears had dried when Erestor had entertained him with the shadows dancing on the wall, but now they returned.

 

Elladan cringed, seeing the tears in his brother’s eyes. “I won’t leave you alone again. The next time I will make sure Glorfindel will take us out riding together.”

 

Elrohir nodded, thankfully, and then pulled Elladan closer. His brother’s arms tightly enfolded him and he finally felt safe enough to go to sleep. His last thought however, was for Erestor. /Thank you for comforting me, gwador. And I love you too./

 

Gwador - trusted friend.

 

TBC


	37. Chapter 37

Flight 7/7

Valinor.

 

 

Elrohir had been restless all day long, but he couldn’t quite explain why. Elladan had stayed close on purpose, never strolling far away from him. Even Erestor and Glorfindel had seemed worried about him during dinner.

 

It wasn’t like he still was a frightened Elfling. Elladan and he had reached majority fifteen years ago, and they were now skilled warriors who feared no one. Glorfindel had taught them well, and they had become accomplished archers, well-trained swordsmen and they could handle most of the diplomatic matters their father entrusted to them. But occasionally they still needed Erestor’s advice, who had now become Elrond’s most trusted advisor and one of Celebrian’s closest friends.

 

Celebrian.

 

Elrohir couldn’t stop worrying about his mother, who had traveled to Lothlorien to spend time with her family. Elladan and he had missed her sparkling presence and were already counting the days until her return.

 

“Elrohir, would you please stop pacing for a moment? You are driving me insane!” Elladan sighed, dramatically. “And you pacing the entire time won’t bring her back faster. Nana will arrive shortly. Be patient!”

 

“But I cannot help being concerned!” Elrohir’s voice was filled with tension. “Something is wrong. I do not know what it is, but I feel…” Lacking the right words to describe his confused state, he pleadingly stared at his twin. “I cannot believe you do not feel it!”

 

Elladan bit his bottom lip. “But I do feel it.”

 

“Then why did you not tell me?” Elrohir marched toward his twin, grabbed Elladan’s shoulders and shook him. “Why?”

 

“I did not want to add to your worry,” explained Elladan. “But I cannot deny that a sense of foreboding has overwhelmed me as well.”

 

“Enough!” said Elrohir decisively. “We are leaving! We are going to search for her and escort her back home.”

 

Elladan gave in reluctantly. “You may be right.”

 

“You know I am!” Elrohir was about to tell Elladan to follow him when distressed cries coming from the courtyard alerted him. “Aiya, Elladan, let my fears haven’t come true!” He grabbed his twin’s arm and then pulled him along, down the endless corridors until they finally emerged in the courtyard.

 

The sight that awaited them broke their hearts. Frozen in time, they stared at their mother, clad in a bloodstained robe, sitting in front of Lindir, her eyes void of emotions. Fresh blood showed on her bandaged shoulder.

 

“Elbereth…” Elrohir released a strangled sob, whilst taking in her battered appearance. He didn’t bother to ask where the rest of their escort was, seeing bite marks and the lashes of a whip on Lindir’s face. The white-haired Elf looked like an apparition, eyes blank and lips smeared with blood.

 

“Take hold of your mother,” commanded Lindir in an emotionless tone. “It was a lucky coincidence Galadriel wanted Arwen to stay longer. At least she was spared.”

 

Elrohir charged forward and carefully caught Celebrian in his arms when Lindir lowered her. “Aiya, Elbereth… No.” Her face was marred with dark, drying blood and strands of her hair had been pulled out. Her long, golden-colored dress was stained with her own blood and had been ripped apart. Staring at her, Elrohir nearly choked on his emotions.

 

“We encountered Orcs,” said Lindir. “Celebrian was struck by a poisonous arrow.” Elladan helped him dismount and steadied him. “There were too many of them and too few of us.”

 

Elrond and Erestor, who had been in the study, now appeared as well. Elrond’s face was deathly pale. His blue eyes were large, and wet with tears. The half-Elf immediately headed for his wife. “Please give her to me.” He opened his arms and waited for a shocked Elrohir to place Celebrian in them. “Oh, melme, what did they do to you?”

 

Celebrian’s stare broke and she suddenly looked at her husband. A pain-filled whimper fled from her bruised lips and she quickly averted her eyes.

 

Seeing the emotional turmoil his wife was in, Elrond turned around and took her to the healing house, closely followed by Elrohir and Elladan.

 

Erestor looked at Lindir and saw very familiar anguish in the white-haired Elf’s eyes. In an uncharacteristic show of concern, he folded an arm around the elder Elf’s waist. “You should be in the healing house as well.” His entire body was trembling; he had recognized the expression in Lindir and Celebrian’s eyes. He had felt like that when his father had tried to rape him. There was no need to guess what the foul creatures had done to the two Elves.

 

“I do not want to go there,” whispered Lindir, his tone devoid of emotion. “I want to die. Will the Valar allow me to die?” His eyes stared off into the distance, reliving the horror Celebrian and he had endured. “I –should- die.”

 

Erestor, tightly controlling his raging emotions, steered Lindir toward the healing house. “You cannot give up, Lindir. Celebrian needs you.” He didn’t really know what to say or how to console the hurting Elf. “You must be strong for her.”

 

“I will fade, Erestor. I can already feel the call of Mandos. And now that I feel it, she will feel it as well.”

 

Erestor’s features contorted. “They… hurt… both of you?”

 

Lindir’s eyes suddenly filled with sorrow. “I told her we would not be able to keep it hidden.”

 

Erestor guided Lindir into the healing house and called for a healer. “Please do not give up. As long as there is hope…”

 

“Hope?” said Lindir, his tone filled with disbelief. “There is no hope.”

 

Erestor regretted having to let go of the elder Elf, but the healers needed to examine him. He watched the white-haired Elf being led into a room and then turned around, bowing his head in defeat. They were going to lose Celebrian and Lindir to Mandos and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Ada? Can they help her?”

 

Elrond had chosen to stay with his sons whilst his best healers examined Celebrian. He had offered to examine her himself, but she had refused, glaring him into submission until he had left the room. Now he was here with his sons, burying them in a warm and tight hug. “I do not know if they can help her,” said Elrond honestly. Still severely shocked from seeing his wife in that state, he pulled his sons even closer. He needed them at his side now that he risked losing his precious love; his beloved wife.

 

The poisoned wound worried him, and then there was her ripped dress and the blood on the back of the golden gown. Digging his nails into his palms, he ignored the pain. /What if they violated her? We will lose her if they did. She will die from grief and fade away. And we will have to watch it happen./

 

Elrohir was the first to break the hug and to pull away. Wrapping his arms around his waist, he began to nervously pace the waiting room. “What did they do to her? I never saw such pain in her eyes. Ada, you are a healer! You can heal her, can’t you?”

 

Elrond sighed, distressed. “Elrohir, you saw the shape your mother was in.”

 

Elladan, who had been quiet until that point, suddenly said, “You think they violated her.” His words sounded like thunder and all present cringed at hearing them.

 

Elrond’s shoulders slumped. “It is possible.” He couldn’t mislead his sons; there was a distinct possibility that they were going to lose her. Suddenly, he saw some movement to his right; Erestor was advancing on them. “Where is Lindir?”

 

“In the best possible care. One of the healers is tending to him.” He hid his trembling hands in the long sleeves of his robes. Uncertain if he was wanted close during such a painful and intimate moment, he moved back to the doorway, but halted at hearing Elrond’s voice.

 

“Please stay. I might need you later.” Elrond wrung his hands, unable to hide the full extent of his despair. “Erestor, you talked to Lindir. What did he tell you?”

 

Erestor moistened his lips, suddenly feeling nervous. “I am not sure he would want me to—“

 

Elrohir, who had been pacing, now came to a stop in front of Erestor. Grabbing the advisor’s shoulders, he pleadingly said, “Just tell us what the monsters did to Nana!”

 

Erestor barely kept from flinching at Elrohir’s hard tone, but he knew he had to be strong and that he couldn’t allow his feelings to rule him. He had never thought the day would come when they needed him. He exchanged a look with Elrond and then confirmed their worst fears. “The Orcs did not show any mercy or compassion and abused their bodies and souls. Both Lindir and Celebrian are feeling the call of Mandos as we speak.”

 

Elrohir’s world shattered right there and then. “No…”

 

“I am so sorry, caun-nîn.” Sensing Elrohir’s pain, Erestor enveloped the younger twin in his arms. “You must be strong now.”

 

“I do not want to be strong,” sobbed Elrohir. His knees gave out beneath him and he allowed Erestor to drag him over to a chair, on which he collapsed. Suddenly Elladan was at his side, hugging him.

 

Elrond, still shocked, tried to compose himself. When Glorfindel suddenly entered, short of breath and eyes wide with disbelief, the half-Elf whispered into Erestor’s ear, “I cannot deal with this.”

 

Erestor nodded and stepped in front of Elrond, addressing the blond. “Please look after the twins. We have just learned that Celebrian is mortally injured.”

 

Glorfindel’s eyes widened. “But how? Why?”

 

“Do not ask questions!” rebuked Erestor. “Comfort them instead!”

 

Taken aback by Erestor’s authoritative tone, Glorfindel hurried over to the twins and knelt next to Elladan, quickly wrapping one arm around Elrohir and using the other to soothingly rub Elladan’s back. Part of him still couldn’t believe what had happened, but the twins’ pain was too palpable not to believe.

 

Elrond shook his head, unable to wrap his mind around the upending loss. “And Lindir?”

 

“He mentioned feeling Mandos’ call. He will fade during the next few months and will probably enter the Halls of Waiting before the next year will start.” Erestor wished he knew how to comfort the half-Elf, who was shaking with emotion, but then the door opened and a healer appeared, who had a worried expression on his brow.

 

“My Lord, I bring sad news.” The healer bowed his head in defeat. “Your wife… Her injuries are of such a nature that she will fade during the next few months. There is nothing I can do to help her.”

 

Elrohir gasped and then cried out in despair, tightly clinging to his brother and Glorfindel.

 

Elladan, trying to be the strong one, stroked his brother’s hair. “We will help her overcome her pain.”

 

“Child,” said the healer, “her injuries are beyond your powers to heal. Not even love can keep her here.”

 

“Ada?” Elrohir looked trustingly at his father. “You can help her… Please?”

 

Elrond’s heart broke, knowing he had to disappoint his sons. “Her injuries are of the mind, nîn-ion. No one can heal her soul.” Sighing deeply, his eyes closed momentarily. “We must do the little we can to ease her suffering.”

 

Elladan’s brow furrowed. “What can we do?”

 

“There is only one way to keep her alive… and relatively happy,” said Elrond, his heart burdened with pain and loss.

 

Elrohir, staring at Elrond, felt hope blossom in his heart. “How can we accomplish that?”

 

“In a few months her spirit will want to travel to the Halls of Waiting. There is only one way to keep her alive and that is by letting her, and Lindir, sail for Valinor.”

 

Silence descended over them, each of them trying to deal with this revelation in their own way. Erestor was the first to clear his throat and to address Elrond. “That should be her decision, but in the mean time you should treasure her presence and show her how much you love her.”

 

Elrohir and Elladan stared at each other in wild disbelief. “She cannot sail for Valinor. We need her!” That was all they had left? A few months’ time to spend with their mother?

 

Elrond walked over to his sons and Glorfindel quickly moved away, letting the half-Elf embrace the twins. “You must understand,” started Elrond in an emotional tone. “The longer she stays, the stronger the grief will become, and it will cause her to fade. I do not want to lose her either. I love her, but I love her enough to let her go. Do you understand?”

 

Elrohir sobbed softly. “My heart will slowly die, knowing that we are going to lose her.”

 

Elrond cupped his youngest son’s chin in the palm of his hand. “She is already fading. It started the moment those monsters touched her... intimately.”

 

“Can we speak with her? Please, Ada?” Elladan struggled to his feet, pulling Elrohir with him.

 

Elrond nodded, giving in. “We will talk to her.” Pushing himself to his feet, he tiredly turned to Glorfindel. “Will you stay here and make sure we are not disturbed?”

 

“Of course I will,” said Glorfindel, saddened to hear they would lose Celebrian one way or the other.

 

Elrond took his sons’ hands in his and led them toward the doorway. Passing by Erestor, he said, “You are welcome to join us.”

 

Glorfindel gasped, hearing those words. He had never realized how much Elrond considered the advisor part of his family.

 

But Erestor shook his head. “Someone should sit with Lindir. He needs support as well.”

 

Elrond’s features softened with affection. “You do well to think of him. Go then.”

 

Erestor bowed and quickly left the room, eager to comfort Lindir - unlike Celebrian, the white-haired Elf had no one to support him.

 

Making eye contact with his sons, Elrond drew in a deep breath. Pushing open the door, he entered first. His heart stopped beating momentarily, seeing Celebrian’s form beneath the blankets. Pulling his sons along with him, he knelt at the bed.

 

Elrohir and Elladan freed their hands from Elrond’s hold and sank onto their knees as well, on the other side of the bed. “Nana…” Elrohir, crying softly, gathered one of her hands close to his heart. “You must stay.”

 

Celebrian’s unreadable gaze was fastened on Elrond. “I still have a few months left, but Mandos is already calling me. I do not want to obey, but I feel I am fading. I do not have a choice. In time, I must leave you.” Her eyes were now full of fear, loss, and yet there was love as well. “But for now I want to take comfort in the fact that you are here with me.” Opening her arms, she encouraged her sons to embrace her.

 

They sobbed in her arms, started by her pallor and fragility. Both of them would treasure these last few months. “We love you, Nana,” sobbed Elrohir, “Do not leave us.”

 

Celebrian’s gaze met Elrond and they both looked upon their sons with great sadness in their hearts, knowing their time was very limited. “We will make the best of these last few months,” said Celebrian soothingly, stroking their hair. “We will love each other so much that it will last a lifetime.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Lindir, wrapped up in warm blankets, was surprised when Erestor entered and then sat down in a chair next to his bed. The healer had left a moment ago after confirming his thoughts; he would continue to fade during the next few months. “How does Celebrian fare?”

 

Erestor directed his saddened gaze at the elder Elf. “She is fading, like you.”

 

Lindir rested his head in the pile of pillows propped up against the headboard and studied the advisor. “Erestor, I still recall the first time we met. You were so frightened back then and now… You have changed.”

 

Erestor swallowed past the lump in his throat. “When I arrived in Imladris I was scared… and hurting,” he admitted after a moment’s thought. What did he have to lose by being honest with Lindir? The elder Elf wouldn’t betray his secret now that they shared this pain. “I fled from Mirkwood because my father hurt me, badly. He took great care in violating me in ways that would assure I would not fade.”

 

Lindir’s eyes widened at the unexpected admission. “I always thought it was something like that.”

 

Erestor shrugged. “The day I ran away he tried to rape me. I could not let him do that and ran.”

 

“I was not as fortunate as you,” said Lindir neutrally, “I did not get away and neither did Celebrian.”

 

Erestor lowered his eyes and stared at the floor. “I would give my life to render that.” Surprised, he felt Lindir’s hand settle on his arm.

 

“I know you would, but what is done is done, and the past cannot be undone. Stay here with Lord Elrond, Arwen and the twins. Comfort them. Support them.”

 

“I will do the best I can,” promised Erestor as his eyes filled with tears. “You are so strong to think of them in this dark hour, mellon-nîn… May I call you that?”

 

Lindir nodded once, feeling weak and tired. “I would like to rest now.”

 

“Of course…”

 

Lindir saw the door open behind Erestor and cocked his head, seeing Glorfindel shuffle hesitantly inside. “Lord Glorfindel?”

 

Erestor’s head jerked back and he angrily wiped away the tear that had managed to escape his eyes.

 

“I regret disturbing you when you need rest, Lindir, but Lord Elrond wishes to speak to Erestor.” Glorfindel felt nervous dealing with Lindir, knowing what had happened to the white-haired Elf.

 

Lindir could tell by the expression on the blond’s face that Glorfindel felt uncomfortable and quickly addressed Erestor. “Go talk to our master.”

 

Erestor slowly rose to his feet, trying to keep the shivers that coursed through his body hidden from the blond’s inquisitive look, which was now aimed at him.

 

Erestor nodded slowly, turned around and quickly passed by Glorfindel. Now that he was in the corridor, he allowed for his eyes to fill with tears. But by the time he reached the waiting room, he had wiped them away again.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Days turned into weeks and weeks into months, filled with immense sorrow and never-ending pain. Celebrian and Lindir had now begun to fade more quickly and Elrond knew the time had come to address their departure for Valinor. Late one night, long after dinner, he sat down opposite his wife and watched her now transparent fingers, resting idly in her lap. Elladan and Elrohir were seated at her feet, staring into the dying fire, and Arwen sat beside her mother, gently stroking her long hair.

 

“You do not have to continue to suffer in this way, melme. There is another way,” said Elrond softly. “Go to Valinor.” Elladan and Elrohir started at hearing his words and locked gazes with him. Arwen however, remained quiet and took one of Celebrian’s hands in hers.

 

“You will not come with me then?” Disbelief colored Celebrian’s tone. She had expected him to bring this up, but she had also hoped he would stay with her.

 

“I cannot come with you,” said Elrond, saddened. “I have a responsibility to our people.”

 

Celebrian sighed and her gaze now settled on her sons and daughter. “Will you come with me then?”

 

Elladan and Elrohir looked at each other with a panicked expression in their eyes. “Nana, please…” whispered Elrohir, scared. Imladris was their home, but he loved Celebrian with all his heart. He didn’t know how to make such a decision.

 

Looking at Arwen, Celebrian saw the love she held for Aragorn reflected in her eyes and she knew her daughter wanted to stay in Imladris as well. Tired, she closed her eyes. “I will lose you then, no matter what fate I choose.”

 

Elrond leaned in closer and gathered her hands in his. “Celebrian, melme, my time has not yet come. The last battle against Sauron has not been fought and I… I am needed here.”

 

“I need you as well, my Lord,” said Celebrian in an icy tone.

 

Elrond cringed, hearing her cold tone. “Please forgive me, melme, but this is not my choice to make.”

 

Celebrian now opened her eyes and glared at her husband. She knew he meant well, but she had hoped he would accompany her to Valinor. She felt like he had let her down, betrayed their love, but at the same time, she also realized he had to stay in Imladris. One day, he might be instrumental in defeating evil one last time. “I cannot promise I will wait for you in Valinor.”

 

“Live your life, melme,” said Elrond, setting her free and releasing her from her vows. “But know that you will always have my love.” Elrond pushed himself onto his feet and leaned in closer to press a kiss onto his wife’s brow. But she flinched away from the caress and Elrond’s eyes filled with tears and sadness. “Maybe one day you will be able to forgive me for failing you.”

 

Celebrian released the breath she had involuntarily been holding. She had always known in her heart that Elrond wasn’t hers completely. His destiny lay elsewhere. Finally realizing she had made the best of her time with Elrond, she admitted the moment had come to let him go. “Be at peace, my husband. I will sail for Valinor.”

 

At hearing that, Elrohir cried out in distress. Elladan immediately soothed him and the twins huddled close, comforting each other, whilst Arwen clung to her mother.

 

Celebrian’s tone was warm and caring when she addressed them. “Give me your hands.”

 

The twins turned to face her, knelt in front of her and held her hands tightly, refusing to let go of her just yet. “Nana, please stay,” whispered Elrohir, but deep in his heart he knew he was going to lose her, either to Mandos or to Valinor.

 

“I cannot stay,” said Celebrian in a heart-wrenching tone. “I would fade if I stayed, and you do not want that, do you?”

 

Elrohir released another sob. “I do not want to lose you!” Suddenly Elladan’s arm came up behind his back, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

“Nana is right; we must let her go. At least in Valinor she can heal. We should be glad that we could spend these last few months with her,” whispered Arwen in a melancholy tone.

 

Elrohir’s tear streaked face now turned toward his twin. “I cannot live without her.”

 

Celebrian’s heart was breaking, hearing Elrohir sob. “Always remember that I love you,” she said in a loving tone. “And never forget me.”

 

“How can I forget you?” called Elrohir out in despair.

 

Celebrian now addressed her husband. “Look after them. Comfort them. And make all necessary arrangements for my departure. I cannot linger here any longer.”

 

Elrond nodded; his shoulders heavy with burden. “You will be able to leave within the hour.” Looking into her eyes, his heart missed a beat from fear. The blue in her eyes had faded. “We must hurry.”

 

Celebrian nodded and pulled her sons close for one last hug. Whilst holding them, she said, “Elrond, you must inform my mother that I am leaving.” She turned to Arwen, leaned into her daughter for support and found comfort in the fact that Arwen would stay with her until her ship set sail.

 

Another sigh left Elrond’s lips. “I will see to it.” Tears pooled in the depths of his eyes, but he forced them back; his family needed him to be strong.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor, who had chosen to sit with a weakening Lindir tonight, looked up when the door opened behind him.

 

“I regret disturbing you when you need rest, Lindir, but Lord Elrond wishes to speak to Erestor,” said a servant.

 

“Erestor, the time has come to say goodbye.”

 

Erestor slowly rose to his feet, trying to keep the shivers that coursed through his body hidden.

 

Both of them knew this moment had been inevitable; Celebrian had decided to finally sail for Valinor. In the last few months Celebrian and Lindir had spent much time together, talking and comforting each other.

 

Erestor cleared his throat. “I doubt we will speak again.” He regretted losing Lindir to Valinor. During these last few months they had begun building a friendship which would now never prosper.

 

Lindir managed a weak smile. “Be at peace, Erestor, and remember me kindly.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond looked up at Erestor’s arrival. The twins and Arwen were trying to protect another from the loss that threatened to rob them of their sanity. The Lord of Imladris signaled for Erestor to approach.

 

Erestor bowed respectfully and waited for Elrond to address him.

 

“She wants to speak to you one last time before she leaves.”

 

“Lindir and Celebrian will sail for Valinor then?” Erestor’s heart was slowly breaking into thousands of pieces, hearing his thoughts confirmed.

 

“Aye, they will leave in a few minutes. We have already said our goodbyes, but she wants to talk to you as well.” Elrond opened the door and signaled for his friend to enter the room.

 

Erestor drew in a deep breath; he wasn’t sure he wanted to do this. But in the end, he entered and walked toward Celebrian, who was being dressed in a warm riding cloak. Her long silver hair was hidden beneath a hood and her eyes were white now that her irises had faded as well. Her lips, which used to be full and red, now resembled thin, pink lines.

 

“My Lady?” Erestor remained at an appropriate distance, knowing from personal experience that she wouldn’t want him close.

 

Celebrian looked at him and gave him a sad smile. “Pen-neth, I want to ask you a question.”

 

Erestor bowed his head. “I cannot come with you.” He had instantly known what question she was referring to. “Someone needs to look over Arwen and Elrohir, and especially Elladan. I want to keep them safe.”

 

“You love them,” said Celebrian and this time her smile was genuine.

 

“I always did. It started the day they were born.” Erestor felt ill at ease now that he was letting his guard down. “I wish I could accompany you, but—“

 

Celebrian cut him short. “I think I already know what your answer would be. Pen-neth, you have always been like a son to me and I regret leaving you behind, but you do understand that I have no choice?”

 

Erestor nodded and hesitantly met her gaze. She had moved closer and was now standing in front of him. Even now, whilst she was fading, he could see the inner strength that would keep her alive until she had reached Valinor. “I understand that neither you nor Lindir have a choice.”

 

Celebrian then raised her hand and touched his face. “There is so much pain inside me. So much shame… So much grief. But you know that, child, don’t you?”

 

Trembling fiercely he nodded. “I do.”

 

“Because you carry this pain, shame and grief inside your heart as well.” Celebrian sighed, dejectedly. “I always tried to alleviate your pain, but I never understood how you felt and now that I do, it is too late.”

 

Erestor caved in and allowed the tears to flow from his eyes. “My Lady… I would gladly bear your pain, if the Valar would let me.”

 

“I know that, child,” said Celebrian, as some serenity returned to her gaze. “And I love you for it.” Tentatively, uncertain how either one of them would react, she buried him in a final embrace. “Look after Elrond and my children for me. I entrust them to your care.”

 

Erestor nodded against her shoulder, breathing in her sweet scent for the last time. “I will miss you so much.”

 

Celebrian released him, took a step away from him and pulled the hood further over her face, hiding her features. “Maybe one day we will meet again, pen-neth, in Valinor.”

 

“Maybe,” whispered Erestor in a shaky tone.

 

Celebrian couldn’t take any more emotional pain and hurried out of the room and into the corridor where Arwen, Lindir and an escort were waiting to take her to the havens. Looking upon Lindir’s face, she placed one hand in his, tightly holding onto him, and her other in Arwen’s. They were now united in pain and sorrow and hopefully they would find comfort in each other’s arms.

 

As they fled the Last Homely House, they left a shattered family behind. Elrond was trying to comfort his sons with Glorfindel’s assistance, whilst Erestor quietly sneaked out of the room and into the corridor. Looking at the four of them, he felt their connection and realized his heart wouldn’t let him be part of this. He had just lost one of the most important persons in his life and couldn’t let the twins rule his heart any more. They would break it the day they left.

 

Elrond, still busy consoling his sons, caught Erestor’s hurried departure and was tempted to follow his friend, but he couldn’t possibly leave his sons. He couldn’t ask Glorfindel to comfort Erestor either; the two Elves just didn’t get along. Resigned, he concentrated on comforting the twins.

 

Erestor headed for Elrond’s study, hoping to lessen the half-Elf’s burden slightly by taking over his duties for the next few days.

 

His mask of indifference was perfectly in place again when he addressed his fellow advisors. He didn’t allow himself the luxury of grieving now that Celebrian was gone. He would go on, living his life in cold solitude.

 

The End

May 2003


End file.
